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Mind Clutter and Overeating

February 1st, 2012, No Comments »

Mind clutter—a mind overflowing with thoughts, worries, projects, to-do lists, feeling and ideas—leads to a lot of problems. Mind clutter contributes to overload, stress, procrastination, lack of focus, burnout, clutter outside your mind, and emotional eating and overeating.

Overeating, or reaching for food when you aren’t really hungry, is a common response to feeling overloaded, ineffective, or short of time. And that’s how too much mind clutter can leave you feeling.

It’s easy to become caught in a vicious cycle (I call it the hamster wheel), when your mind is on overload. It can be tempting to resort to stress eating, or to overeat because you feel too overwhelmed to really take care of yourself. Overeating adds to any feelings of being out of control (and now having one more thing to deal with). You have so much in your head that you feel like you don’t have time or the mental space to do more than react, and you soon overeat again. Maybe this time you aren’t craving comfort, but you want an energy boost, or a reward, or a distraction.

The point is, the cycle of mind clutter contributing to emotional eating contributing to mind clutter continues, and you stay stuck. Plus, it feels awful.

My suggestion? When you focus on tools to stop overeating, don’t ignore the mind clutter. Taking control of the overwhelm can create a profound shift in both your emotional eating and your life.

Here are some tips to get started.

• Don’t rely on your memory. It doesn’t matter how well it works. The point is, it takes a lot of energy and creates stress when you store too many details, events, and things to do in your brain and expect yourself to be able to track them. Like a computer screen constantly being “refreshed,” you are continually going through the act of sorting through what you need to remember, prioritizing, and making decisions. That’s a lot of work. Write everything down. Designate one place (one notebook, app on your phone, or file on your computer) and do a brain dump of everything you are thinking about or worrying about daily. Now you don’t  have to remember it anymore.

See the mental space you just created?

• Create a punch list. This is not a comprehensive list of everything  that you want to accomplish in the next six months. This is the list of 1—3 priority action items you are giving your attention today or this hour or for the next fifteen minutes. Choose a time frame that works for you and honor that important task or experience with your full attention.

•  Give your brain downtime. Too much clutter creates anxiety and tension. It does not encourage restfulness and relaxation. But a periodic “reboot” is exactly what you need to get off the hamster wheel. Give yourself at least 7 ½ hours of sleep and aim to spend at least ten minutes a day simply “being” and tuning in to the world around you.

 Giving your mind practice at being calm instead of spinning at top speed is a good thing.

Addressing mind clutter creates a shift from being caught on the hamster wheel to being proactive and in charge. That’s where overload begins to dissolve, and peace with food and all the good stuff that comes with it, really begins.

Take good care,

Overeating Help for Real Life

January 30th, 2012, No Comments »

When I surveyed readers recently, more than 90% who responded said they’d like some help with overeating and emotional eating.

Real help. Smart emotional eating help that meets you where you are, that doesn’t talk down to you and that offers overeating solutions that you can implement in the midst of a busy life.

I hear you loud and clear. You tell me that many of you could write books on weight loss and the rules you “should” be following, but you want a program that will address the real problem areas.

• 40% of you told me you are looking for help sticking with a program. You’re tired of getting stuck or getting thrown off track.
• You want to know what to do INSTEAD of eating. You’ve run out of willpower (or you will soon).
• You’re very concerned with how to carve out time to do what you need to do to be successful.
• You’d like to know more about how to identify emotional eating and the feelings that trigger overeating and want to know the secret about what to do about them.
• You want a program that is do-able, affordable, and won’t leave you burnt-out, more stressed, or like you’ve failed one more time.

I’ve taken your input and my best coaching tools and strategies and I think I’ve cracked the code. I’d like to invite you to a free event to share what I’ve come up with—and to give you some important information that I want every woman looking for emotional eating help to have.

Come to this free webinar (you can attend via phone, online, or by accessing the playback of the event) and I will share with you:

• The secret to ending weight struggles once and for all (and why willpower is over-rated).
• Why you keep getting stuck, falling off track, or why you haven’t been successful in a way that LASTS.
• The importance of identifying (and cracking) your unique code for success.
• My easy recipe for reigniting motivation, taking effective action, and getting on track with your goals today.
• Plus, you’ll be the first to hear about what I’ve developed and how you can use it too.

You know how to diet and my bet is that it’s not working for you. Life’s too short to keep struggling and not feel effective. Won’t you join me and start living a different path?

Just go here to reserve your space and start getting the emotional eating help you deserve.

Take good care,

Why You Have to Come First

January 28th, 2012, No Comments »

“This is harder than I thought!”

If you are like many smart busy women I know, you tell yourself that making you a priority should be simple. But let’s be honest, with all that you have going on, it can be a real challenge.

I have a confession. When I created my Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off (how to put yourself first without feeling selfish), I knew it was something that was desperately needed, but I was not sure that those who need it most would let themselves have it. After all, you must say, “I’m worth it” to invest your time, energy, hope, and money into something that is just for you—even if the real investment required is just minutes each day for a week.

But I created this program anyway, because I know that if you can’t put yourself on your priority list, bad stuff happens.

• Your health suffers
• Your pants get tight
• You get cranky or sleep-deprived and a lot less fun to be around.

And no matter how much you spend on the next miracle solution for stress or weight loss or to help you make more money, it won’t work. Because you will still be stuck in the pattern of being too busy, too stressed, and too overwhelmed to give your priorities the attention they deserve.

I have a serious question for you. How many hundreds of dollars of unused “advice” do you have taking up space on your bookshelves, your bedside table, and on your computer because you just haven’t gotten around to reading or implementing the advice that you’ve learned?

For many of you, learning to put yourself first and finding out how to carve out the time for you is the missing piece.

In a few weeks, I’m going to release a new program to help you jump start your success with overeating and emotional eating. I’ve taken lots of your feedback and I think many of you are going to love what I’m going to share. It’s going to be simple and do-able and have the pieces you need to be effective. I can’t wait to share it with you.

But here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter how wonderful any program or product or expert is if you aren’t able to make good use of what is offered. No program works if you can never quite get around to focusing on you. Knowing how to put yourself first and honor your priorities is the first step towards any successful change. It’s critical.

I want to be helpful to you, but without this piece, my hands are tied. I truly believe that the Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off is the first step in making peace with your life, peace with food, or achieving your goals.

If you already know how to prioritize yourself, I am so happy for you–you know how key this is. If you are still struggling, NOW is the time to take action. I know, it’s something that is hard for you, but take the first step. Don’t try to skip it. Start building the foundation you need to really take on the world.

Take good care,

Three Easy Ways Busy Women Can Create Calm in a Hectic Life

January 25th, 2012, No Comments »

If you are you a busy woman, a business owner, or mom with too much on your plate, here are three easy ways to start moving from stress and overload to ease, abundance, and success.

1. Set the tone. Your busy brain finds and collects the information that it’s looking for. If you want to spend your day focused on stress and overload, begin by worrying about what you haven’t done. Want more ease and calm? Set an attitude focused on accomplishment and positivity.  List three things you are grateful for before you even get out of bed and review three things that you WILL accomplish today. Put on music that inspires and create and live in positive energy.
2. Don’t ignore the food and don’t deprive yourself. Ease and calm require consistent fuel. Eat something for breakfast that has protein in it. This will tide you over much better than a bagel or a bowl of cereal or the nothing that you usually feed yourself. Give yourself a short deadline (two minutes is plenty) and decide NOW what you will have for lunch and dinner if you don’t already have a plan. Unmade decisions create stress. Hunger and low blood sugar lead to bad decisions and (often) overeating.
3. Slow down. Rushing, even when you are busy, rarely makes anyone more productive. Focus does. Hold on to your vision of ease and calm and your three priority tasks. Do one thing at a time. In a world of mutitasking and Twitter, giving your whole self over to a task can be grounding and even meditative. Really. Ask yourself throughout the day where you want to place your energy in this moment. Close down the other windows on your computer, let your phone go to voice mail, and let the other tasks wait until it is their turn. Enjoy the job you dive into, the feeling of undivided attention, the conversation you have while being fully present, and the lunch you get to savor.

This is the only life you are going to live today. Be in it.

How do you release stress and create calm and ease in your busy life? Share your thoughts and ideas by leaving a comment.

Take good care,

Life Balance: If Oprah and Dr. Oz can’t Figure It Out Can You?

January 18th, 2012, No Comments »

The term “life balance” comes with a lot of baggage—especially to many women who are stressed and busy balancing work, family, relationships, and more. I’ve encountered everything from anger to extreme defensiveness when I’ve brought up the term.

More than one successful woman has told me “I don’t believe in life balance.” “Work-life balance is a myth,” and even, “balance isn’t possible–it just sets us up for failure.”

Gulp. Strong feelings. The idea of creating balance in a busy life is overwhelming, emotional, and feels like a dream for many.

I got my haircut last week and that meant leafing through some big, fat, ad-filled magazines that I don’t normally read. I reached for O and ended up reading Oprah’s interview with Mehmet Oz (Dr. Oz) in the December issue. They were chatting away, covering ground I am familiar with. Eating well, learning how to say, “No.” The importance of setting boundaries so that you can take care of yourself. And then Oprah fessed up. She offered Mehmet Oz “. . . some advice, even though I’m not taking it myself.”

Oprah went on to say that she believes it’s important to make a conscious decision to create balance in your life—but she’s not doing it. She even said she’s not making any more resolutions until she creates more balance for herself—and Dr. Oz says something like, “Well when you figure it out, let me know, because I don’t know how to do it either.”

If this is something that you struggle with, you are in good company.

Maybe it’s just me, but it all sounded a bit like lip service. Like these two incredibly influential people don’t really believe this whole balance thing is possible. It reads a bit like “yeah, right. Balance is nice, but if you want to  be successful….”

I may be wrong about this. Oprah and Mehmet, I’d love to hear from you.

If Dr. Oz and Oprah can’t figure it out, can you?

Of course you can.

First off, stop getting all tied up in knots about the concept.

I’ve heard the arguments. “Balance is always changing.” There is no “perfect” balance. “Rhythm” or “flow” are better words to use. “I don’t balance, I dance.”

Great. Here’s what I think. I believe that when most of us talk about “life balance (or whatever words we choose),” we’re speaking about creating a way of spending or budgeting our energy and time that feeds us and that is aligned with our priorities. Yes, it’s different for everyone. Go ahead and use whatever words you want. But rolling your eyes at the idea is really an expression of feeling stuck or powerless or (maybe) content with the way things are.

Some high-achievers hide their fear of being stuck or incapable by pretending they like things the way they are or by pretending that it’s silly to want anything different.

Are you living your best life? I believe that you were put on this earth to be your best, unique version of yourself. If you aren’t spending your energy and your time in a way that allows you to bring your gifts to the world, something is out of whack. That’s my belief and my litmus test for balance. You are free to have a different one.

Want to create better balance in your life? I absolutely believe that it’s possible. Of course, it’s usually not an instant, “snap your fingers” kind of shift, but there is almost always a way to make things work better.

If you want more ease, flow, or balance in your life, here are some ways to get started:

Stop believing (openly or secretly) that it’s impossible.  You may not have a clue how to get there, but that does not mean there is no way out of whatever trap you find yourself in.  Does Oprah believe she will ever be able to create that balance that she craves?  I really don’t know. It sure sounds like she knows that she’d benefit if she could achieve it. Most of us know that if our life worked better for us we’d sleep better or stress less or lose weight or whatever. But do we really believe it’s achievable? That’s the first step. Faith that your best life is out there and that it can include more of the good stuff that feeds your spirit and your soul is an essential key to creating balance and ease in your life.

Give yourself space to start figuring out what better balance looks like and feels like for you. That’s not always easy and there is no cookie cutter formula. It involves listening to yourself. Don’t worry about the big picture and how you are ever going to balance the bajillion things you have going on. That’s a trap that may overwhelm you and keep you stuck. Start small and do-able. You are creating a path, one step at a time. Tune in to the path and the steps you need to take by carving out me-time religiously—just like you make time for brushing your teeth, commit to making time for yourself. Don’t worry, you don’t have to take a weekend retreat on a deserted island. My Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off and my Success Soundtrack™ program show you how to make incredibly productive use out of just ten minutes of me-time a day.

Finally, don’t get freaked out when you don’t have the answers. Doing some things differently may mean that you are going to need to acquire some new tools or expertise to move forward. Give yourself permission to know where you want to go and seek out what you need to figure out the best way to get there.

And Oprah and Dr. Oz? I’d love to take a stab at helping you define your paths. You’ve got the potential to help so many even more than you already do. Please, please, please, don’t lose your faith in the possibility of a life that works better.

Take good care,

Emotional Eating–How can I help?

January 16th, 2012, No Comments »

The First Step to Avoiding Procrastination, Stress Eating and Unhappiness

January 11th, 2012, 6 Comments »

Stop “not thinking about it.”

How often do you end up shoving your plans and priorities or even your thoughts and feelings to the back burner because there are so many other things you feel responsible for?

Guess what? “Not thinking about it” doesn’t work. It’s also a way of not taking yourself seriously.

I hear it all the time from clients:

“I don’t want to feel angry.”

“There’s nothing I can do about it so I eat.”

“I’m trying not to focus on it.”

Denying your thoughts and feelings is a major source of stress, a major cause of emotional eating, insomnia, procrastination, misplaced irritability and problems focusing.

Here’s another important piece of information (especially for all you high-achievers and perfectionists!):

Taking your thoughts and feelings seriously doesn’t mean you have to know what to “do about them.”

Too many of you are prolonging your stress and creating problems for yourself because you’ve decided—“It’s pointless to think about this because I can’t do anything about it.”

Important feelings and thoughts don’t go away just because you ignore them. Too often they build up, get tangled up around other issues, and trigger self-sabotaging behaviors like stress eating, comfort eating, avoidance, lack of motivation in other areas . . . you get the picture.

Here’s your bite-sized challenge for today. I want you to separate the process of acknowledging and respecting your feelings from the task of problem solving.

Today—right now if you can—start a list of everything that you are currently tolerating. Everything you can think of that is sub-optimal, isn’t working for you, is driving you crazy, causing you stress, distress, sadness, or just bugs you a teensy tiny bit.

Put it on a list. Nothing is too small or too outrageous. If it helps to compartmentalize, make separate lists. I have one for work and one for my personal life.  Start the list and add to it as things occur to you. Then watch what happens.

I’m going to predict at least two results.  Once you start noting things like this—actually writing them down—you are automatically paying more attention to your feelings or needs. This is the opposite of the head-in-the-sand approach. Take note of where it leads you. Most people find that noting what they are tolerating causes them to be more aware of what they want and what they don’t want. You’re also likely to find that simply putting some of these items on your list seems to lead to easy resolution. The truth is, sometimes the act of saying, “this doesn’t work for me.” Is enough to create change.

Make your list and see what happens. Leave a comment and share your experience.

Take good care,

Forget About Goals and New Year’s Resolutions

January 9th, 2012, 1 Comment »

I’ve had many emails and conversations related to my recent post about how we underestimate what we can accomplish in a year. Some of you told me you appreciate the reminder. Others shared that the idea of thinking about setting and accomplishing twelve month goals feels overwhelming and even scary. Someone said that thinking about all that it would require to succeed at her goal feels like “too much work.”

Goals are important, but life is too short not to feel like YOU are in charge of it.

Goals can be valuable, but don’t let a time frame short circuit your creativity or your dreams. Some busy women have an over-developed “let’s-be-realistic gene” that keeps their lives and even their relationships and professional pursuits too small.

This IS the month where everyone is talking resolutions, goals, and how to succeed. And while there is potential value in all of this, I want to encourage you to take a giant step back—or more accurately, up. Imagine yourself talking a helicopter ride up above “reality” or zooming out from your current perspective with a wide-angle lens. Take a step back from the day-to-day of your life and allow yourself to see and think big.

Never fear, there is no to-do list attached.

If your goal is to create your very best version of your life, your goals and pursuits should not be a reaction to what feels realistic or possible or even allowed. I’m going to challenge you to start from a different place entirely—the driver’s seat.

Set “reality” to the side for now. Grab some paper and something to write with. Forget about what’s possible and what else you “need to do.” Stop worrying about money, schedules, and other people and any limiting or “controlling” factors that come to mind.

Spend some time brainstorming what you really want.

No worries about how to make it happen.

Simply—what do you want?

Who do you want to be?

What do you want to do or create or achieve?

The idea is not to get caught up in when or how or if. The goal is to allow yourself to paint a picture—as clear as you can of who you want to be and where you want to head. Don’t worry about the next steps just yet.

I’d love to hear what you come up with!

Take good care,

PS: Some of you may find it challenging to get the time you need to brainstorm and even think about where you really want to go. If this is you, the Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off can make a huge difference–your commitment? Just a few minutes a day.

Three Nice Ways to Say “No” so You Can Stop Using Food for Comfort and Self-Care

January 4th, 2012, 3 Comments »

Emotional eating happens when you aren’t getting or giving yourself what you really need. Food becomes a way of trying to cope with feelings—to numb them, change them, or to try to comfort yourself when you have feelings that you don’t want to deal with directly. Many busy women trace their emotional eating to time issues.

“I take care of everyone else and there is nothing left over for me. I end up comfort eating.”

“I don’t have time to take care of me—so I eat.”

“By the time it’s my turn to get what I need, I’m too tired to do what I should do—so I eat.”

“I have so many responsibilities and so many people counting on me. I can’t begin to figure out how to fit myself in.”

The truth is that self-care and making time to respond to what you feel and need are critical ingredients to making lasting peace with food. However, when life feels so full and complicated, it’s easy to experience analysis paralysis about how or where to begin.

The place to begin is often carving out some solid space for you. You can’t get better at taking care of you unless you have the time and energy to do so. And since none of us can make time, you are probably going to have to get better at saying, “No” in some areas of your life so that you get to claim some space.

Want to know something? Some of the most capable, most professionally assertive and successful women don’t feel comfortable saying, “no” in situations where they really should. Instead of saying, “no,” they do more work. And they often find themselves at the bottom of their priority list. If you’re nodding your head, please know that it’s not just you.

Here are three nice ways to say, “no” so that you can claim more time and stop using food as a way to take care of you.

• “I’d love to but I can’t.” Notice that this is short and sweet and includes no long explanations or justifications. This is key. An effective “no” does not open the door to negotiation and arm-twisting or to discussions of any guilt feelings that you might have.
• “Unfortunately, that doesn’t work for me. I won’t be able to participate but thank you for thinking of me.” Again, you are expressing regret, being very pleasant, but keeping the conversation loop closed.
• “I’m not available to do that/participate/attend.” The essential key is remembering that commitments to you count as much as commitments to anyone else. If your calendar says “go to the gym,” then you have a prior engagement. It’s not a flimsy excuse. Self-care commitments aren’t lightweight propositions that deserve to be brushed to the side to make room for important stuff. They are the important stuff that allows you to show up as your best self to take care of everything else.

And that’s the final and most important key to saying, “No” effectively. Once you start seeing what feeds you (and I’m not talking chocolate) as essential, you’ll feel more empowered to defend the space for it. I’m guessing you always make time to brush your teeth in the morning, right? Same concept. We do what we know we have to do.

Practice saying, “No.” Start with smaller, easier stuff. Let me know how it goes.

Take good care,

Moving Forward with Success and Less Stress (and Looking Back)

January 3rd, 2012, 2 Comments »

Happy New Year!

I’m back in the office today after taking two weeks off to spend time with family, enjoy the holidays, unwind, and relax. My mind is full of new ideas and I am so excited about the possibilities that 2012 holds for all of us.

I have a message to deliver. You are capable of more than you think. And it gets even better. Odds are, you are capable of accomplishing amazing goals with less stress, and more ease than you currently see possible. If you are overwhelmed, overloaded, or overeating it’s very likely that you can untangle some stuff, have less stress, do less, and create better results. Not by working harder, but by taking simple, do-able steps that make sense for your life.

I’d love to help you keep a focus on this kind of focus in 2012. This year, I’ll be in more frequent touch, with bite-sized tips and information to help you break free of the three Os (overload, overwhelm, and overeating) and create more ease, joy, and success.

January is a month when there is a lot of momentum and emphasis on moving AHEAD, starting new things, and setting intentions, goals, and resolutions for the year ahead. I hope that as you do this, you also spend some time reflecting on the twelve months that have just passed. Here is what I know. We underestimate what can happen in twelve months when we look ahead, and when we look back, we often forget much of what we have done.

For some of you, it’s much easier to see what you didn’t accomplish in 2011 than what you did.

Please don’t stop there.

As you dive into this New Year, I want to encourage you to do some reflecting.

Make a list about 2011. Include everything you can think of that you accomplished, everything significant, life or lifestyle changing that happened, and anything that you survived or overcame. Take note of where you spent your time and energy. Write it all down. You might be surprised.

Don’t stop yet.

Go back through your calendar from 2011 and remind yourself where you were and what you were doing eight, nine, and twelve months ago. Get a clear picture of where you were last January. You might be surprised. When I reviewed my year, I find all sorts of growth and changes that had become so routine that I had stopped noticing them. New habits, new ways of eating, heck—I moved my office in 2011 and radically changed my work schedule. It works so well, I almost forgot to add it to my list of accomplishments!

Last January, I had a vague goal of “someday” running the New York City marathon. In February, I had the unexpected opportunity to work with world-class coaches who encouraged me to set a clear plan for doing so. In May, I ran a half marathon I’d never thought of running with the goal of finishing with a time that qualified me to run in New York City (this was a time goal I had never thought possible for myself). Running that time was amazing. And in November, I accomplished another huge goal. I hit the streets of New York City and ran in a race I’d dreamed of running for years. I never dreamed all that would happen back in January, 2011. But it did.

Don’t forget the positive changes that you’ve maintained over the past year. Sometimes it takes great effort to keep things the same. Have you kept weight off, maintained a fantastic relationship, stuck with your yoga practice or your commitment to me-time? These accomplishments count and they count big.

I’m betting some things have changed or you did some things you forgot about in 2011. If you are like me, you may have accomplished major goals that weren’t even on your radar twelve months ago.

My point is this—don’t sell yourself short. Knowing what you are capable of and knowing what you have done and have endured or survived can be a major source of power and confidence as you step into your bold new year.

I will never encourage you to live in the past, but I want you to take from it what can propel you in the directions that you want to go.

What did you almost take for granted about 2011? What unexpected fantastic new living may await you in 2012?

Take good care,