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If Food Isn’t the Answer to Everything – What Is? Part 4

September 2nd, 2010, No Comments »

My intent in this blog series has been to show that finding peace with food can be the mean to make lasting changes in your life…changes that have, until now, been frustrating and very difficult to achieve.

4.     Peace With Food Takes Support

We live in a food-intensive culture and you may be living your life at a mile-a-minute pace. Food isn’t something you can take or leave—you have to negotiate your relationship with food all day long, every day—in the midst of everything else. Your relationship with food runs long and deep. Many people keep their struggles with food very very private, often because they carry shame or guilt with them about the role food plays in their life. Guess what? The shame, the guilt, and the emotional baggage related to food take a toll. It can be very difficult to escape from these feelings in the privacy of your mind—the same mind that tends to see food as the answer. But make no mistake, if you have these feelings, they can keep you powerfully trapped in a relationship with food that does not work.

It can also be difficult to generate new approaches and new answers to that question: “If food is not the answer, what is?” –especially if you have spent years seeing food as the best solution you could come up with. Someone who “gets it” and who already has the tools and strategies can be invaluable in helping you craft the road map you’re craving for breaking free from these struggles.

The Cost of Doing Battle

Isn’t doing battle what NOT being at peace with food feels like? For most women, the costs of struggling with food, weight, and eating add up. Over time, these battles can erode self confidence, affect your emotional and physical posture, your sense of effectiveness and even your hope and outlook for the future. Struggles with food can also eat up a depressing amount of time and mental energy. Because we learn best by example, they tend to be passed from generation to generation. These battles rob women of energy, vitality, and passion. Finally, as long as food is a tool that helps us cope with life by using band aids and as long as this allows us to avoid creating more meaningful, nourishing, and lasting solutions, our life is simply not as big or as full or as vibrant as it could be.

Quite simply, battles with food wear women down and wear women out. Making peace with food changes everything. Are you ready to take your first step?

Take good care,

If Food Isn’t the Answer to Everything – What Is? Part 3

August 30th, 2010, No Comments »

Last post, I introduced the concept of making peace with food and discussed how this happens when you can move past the food struggles and toward more satisfying solutions.

2.     Peace With Food Takes Courage (and it takes you new places)

A client told me recently that she’d never have predicted where she’d be now, seven months after she began coaching with me to transform her relationship with food. She’s thrilled with where she is. She’s made changes in her life that feel really good. She’s created more time for herself and she is addressing some needs she’d been trying to ignore for a very long time. She also shared that she’s not nearly as hungry for food as she once thought. She’s feeding herself in other ways. She feels in control of her weight. But she has also learned that in some ways, using food as the answer was easier than addressing the real problem was (at least in the beginning). It has taken courage to ask herself what she really needs.  However, by taking that courageous step, she’s feeling more grounded, more balanced, and more satisfied than she has in a very long time.

3.     Peace With Food Takes Time

The thing about food is that it’s easy and it doesn’t require a lot of dedicated time to eat it. If food is the answer, you can comfort yourself, respond to your stress, chomp out your frustration, or soothe your hunger while still driving the carpool, working late, or doing that volunteer project you committed to finish. Food is a seductive answer because you can squeeze it in to a very full life.

In all honesty, those other solutions—the enduring, satisfying ones that really address your needs—tend to require more time, thought, and commitment. Before you shake your head in despair, know that I’m sharing some critical information here.  If you are tired of failing with diets and food plans, it’s time to ask yourself whether what you really need are the tools and support necessary to create the mindset, skills, and strategies that will allow you to live a life that feeds you. You know, a life that works for you and allows you to thrive—one where your needs count and you feel comfortable saying no and asking for help (among other things). Yes, this often requires a redistribution of time and energy, and some new learning, but getting there is usually not nearly as drastic and difficult as you might think.

By the way, creating peace with food is a process that occurs over time. It doesn’t usually happen overnight. And yet, it can be amazing how seemingly small shifts can lead to big changes.

The final post in our series will unveil some key ideas to consider as you begin your path to peace with food.

Take good care,

If Food Isn’t the Answer to Everything – What Is? Part 2

August 27th, 2010, No Comments »

To summarize my last post:  If you are eating for the wrong reasons, the only way to make a change that is satisfying and lasting is to find other answers, solutions or strategies that address those reasons.

Real Change Means Making Peace With Food

In the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ program, I teach a process for making peace with food. Peace with food is different from losing weight (although people who make peace with food often lose weight), enduring a diet or food plan (peace with food is not about doing something with food you don’t want to do), depriving yourself and going “without,” or feeling out of control and resigned to a life where food is “the answer to everything” (except that it really isn’t). Peace with food happens when you can move past the food struggles and toward more satisfying solutions.

The Path to Peace With Food

It’s important to know that peace with food is available to anyone. Really. No matter how long you’ve fought with food or your weight, no matter how much you struggle with emotional eating, it’s possible to create a new and improved relationship with food. Just like any change, it’s a process of taking the correct steps and making adjustments and changes—in a way that works for you.

1.     Peace With Food Requires New Answers

Peace with food only happens when you move beyond the food and start creating better, more effective, more satisfying answers. When you have a range of strategies to comfort yourself, to celebrate, to cope with anxiety or stress or boredom or loneliness, and when you know how to really zero in on what it is your spirit is needing or craving (the things that are not food)—guess what happens? Food loses some of its charisma and its importance. Oh sure, it still tastes good, and sometimes you’ll want to eat more than is really good for you, but the struggle to NOT eat and the drive to overeat or keep eating, is transformed. Because food doesn’t have the power that it once had—and—because you now have some higher quality solutions.

In the next post, I’ll go into more depth on how to successfully make peace with food and will show you how it really can make a difference.

Take good care,

If Food Isn’t the Answer to Everything – What Is? Part 1

August 25th, 2010, No Comments »

Does it sometimes seem like food can be an answer to everything?  Had a hard day at work? Why not relax with some creamy pasta? Have something to celebrate? A dinner out is always nice. A heartbreak or disappointment isn’t fixed, but might be comforted with a bowl of ice cream in front of the TV. If you’re tired, sugar is easy to reach for, and munching on candy is a great way to distract yourself or just get through the work you don’t want to be doing.  Got stress? You might not even realize that you reached for the snacks until the bowl or the bag is almost empty.

Yep, for many women with a lot going on, food becomes a convenient, easy, low-maintenance band aid for whatever needs attending to.

So what happens when you want to change that?

Here’s the interesting thing. The biggest mistake that most people make when they want to stop overeating is that they focus their efforts on . . . the food. They develop a plan of what and when and how much they will eat. That’s how diets work (or actually—don’t work—but that’s another story).

You see the problem don’t you? If food is the answer to everything and you take food out of the equation, than you are still left without an answer.

If you are eating for the wrong reasons, the only way to make a change that is satisfying and lasting is to find other answers, solutions or strategies that address those reasons. Preferably ones that work better, address the real problem, and aren’t only a band aid.

This blog series will address the concept of making peace with food and the impact that it has on many aspects of life.

Take good care,

Are You Tired of Riding on the Diet Rollercoaster? Free Teleseminar

August 24th, 2010, No Comments »

Are you one of the many smart, successful, high-achieving women who is BEYOND tired of struggling with food, weight, and overeating—sick-to-death of diets and plans that don’t work out–and are you feeling like you “should” have gotten a handle on this by now?

You are not alone. Heck, look at Oprah (and I mean this with complete compassion).

The truth is that these struggles—which often have their roots in emotional eating and overeating—are major issues for success-oriented women, and unfortunately, they don’t get talked about nearly enough. This means that too many women are suffering needlessly, suffering alone, and feeling bad about the whole thing.

If this is “your struggle,” please know this: it’s not about finding the right “diet” (there is no right diet), it’s about getting to the root and creating a solution that lasts.

Next week I’m giving a free teleseminar to address this very important issue:

The Secret to Ending Emotional Eating & Overeating Battles

In this no-cost teleseminar, which you can attend by phone, via the internet, or by listening to the call recording, I will cover:

• Three reasons women get stuck in battles with food and what to do about it
• Three reasons diets don’t work
• The cost of overeating and emotional eating (it’s not just about weight)
• A formula for making peace with food, taking back control, and taking charge of emotional eating and overeating—for good

. . . and much more (but no diet talk). You’ll also hear the details about the Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series which begins in September.

The teleseminar takes place:
September 1, 2010 at 2pm Pacific, 5pm Eastern. You’ll want to be on the call live so that you can participate and get your questions answered, but if you can’t make the call, please register anyway. The call will be recorded and all who register will receive access to the recording. Just go here to save your spot: http://toomuchonherplate.com/free-teleseminar/

I hope to “see” you on the call.

Take good care,

Five Paths to Self-sabotage: Are You Standing In Your Own Way? – Part 3

August 23rd, 2010, No Comments »

My goal in this blog post series has been to point out how many of the things that hold high-achievers back in business and life actually come from inside the mind.  Here are two more I’d like to point out.

4. You are a hard worker. Yes, this is probably one of your greatest strengths, but it can also get in your way. When you are trying to do something new, hard work is often not enough. If you aren’t satisfied with how things are going, if you aren’t getting where you want to go, or if you can’t make changes that stick for the long haul, than there is something wrong with your plan. Hard workers can sabotage themselves, because when they don’t see the results they want, they tend to tell themselves that it’s because they aren’t working hard enough—so they work harder. The problem is, working harder using the wrong strategy will simply burn you out and leave you feeling defeated and ineffective. If you are feeling frustrated at your lack of success and tired of working so hard, it’s time to consider path number two and asking for help. Consulting with someone who isn’t stuck inside your mindset and approach can make a world of difference—sometimes very quickly.

5. You’re scared. High-achievers are often very used to creating success. Trying something new, struggling, letting go of old, but comfortable, mindsets—this can all be disconcerting. Stepping outside your comfort zone can be scary.  Success can also be anxiety-producing. Stepping up, playing a bigger game, moving into a bigger or stronger version of ourselves—all these things may feel exhilarating, but they can also push buttons we never knew we had. The first impulse for most of us when we feel anxious or scared is to slam on the brakes. Sometimes we get in our own way because we are unsure of moving forward.  The good news—you are not alone and fear does not indicate weakness. It means that you are challenging yourself and by stretching, you are growing. While slamming on the brakes won’t get you where you want to go, you can still use those brakes to set a pace that feels safe and comfortable. Finally, when you let go of your “flying solo” mentality, it frees you up to seek the help you need so that you don’t have to feel like you are walking in the darkness by yourself.

The bottom line:

Do you need to get out of your own way? It’s an essential question. Paying attention to any gaps in your foundation and mindsets that are messing with your head game may be the most valuable investment you can make in your success.

Take good care,

Five Paths to Self-sabotage: Are You Standing In Your Own Way? – Part 2

August 19th, 2010, No Comments »

Last post I outlined how neglecting self-care can be a common path leading to self-sabotage. Here are a few more common mindsets that may cause high-achievers to stumble in reaching their goals.

2. You are flying solo. This is a very difficult one for women who expect a lot of themselves. If you have a goal and you aren’t accomplishing it, one of the first questions you should be asking is whether you could use some help. Could you use a coach or a mentor? Here’s where the fun comes in. Notice the conversation you have with yourself when you ask this question. Many high-achievers will run circles around themselves in order to avoid getting the quality support that might quickly propel them forward.

Notice the head game: “I should be able to do this on my own.” “Other people don’t struggle with this.” “I’m a strong person, I can do this.” Again, here’s the truth: strong people do ask for help. Successful people surround themselves with teams that can support them in accomplishing their goal. They leverage the time, expertise, and energy of others.

Asking for help is NOT a form of weakness. It’s often the bravest and the most pro-active thing that you can do to create your own success. Here’s another interesting fact. If you are someone who struggles with asking for help, it’s probably easier than you think. You don’t even need to know what you need. Approach someone you trust, share your dilemma, and simply ask, “I’m not sure what I need here, do you have any ideas about how you or someone else could help me with this?”

3. You are cutting the wrong corners. Success requires an investment. Most importantly, this means an investment of yourself—your time, your energy, and your focus, and sometimes, your finances. Having the time, energy, and focus committed to your goal are critical ingredients for success—no matter what you are trying to accomplish. Sounds straightforward, right? Unfortunately, many busy people try to skip this step. Either head games get in the way (if you feel guilty spending time and energy on yourself, you’ll get caught here), or you might not really know how to do this.

Shifting gears and priorities, carving out space and time, and persisting when things get tough are incredibly difficult tasks—especially when you are a busy woman who expects a lot from herself. Before you purchase another “how-to” book or program, ask yourself whether you’d be better off investing in a coach who could help you create the physical, mental, and emotional space and foundation necessary for you to implement the plans that you already have.

I hope you’ll join me next time for the final two paths. These may just surprise you a bit!

Take good care,

Five Paths to Self-sabotage: Are You Standing In Your Own Way? – Part 1

August 17th, 2010, No Comments »

Recently I heard a productivity expert speak on how to “get things done.” It’s a simple process really. You define the goal, outline the steps, and start moving forward. Easy peasy—right? And yet. There are many smart, informed, high-achievers out there who have set goals for themselves, who have a plan, and who still aren’t getting where they want to go. They aren’t losing the weight or getting fitter, or they are still stressed and overworked. The time they committed to spend on their important project seems to evaporate. Success isn’t happening. And as a result, these savvy people are feeling frustrated, irritated with themselves, and perhaps even guilty or less confident about their abilities. Not a recipe for enhanced productivity is it?

Here’s the truth.

For many of you, it’s not the “how-to” that is the problem. For many high-achievers with a lot on their plates (I may be talking to you here), the problem is the head game. If you are not loving your life or if you are not getting where you want to go, it’s time to check out these five paths to self-sabotage and investigate whether you need to get out of your own way.

Five paths to self-sabotage

1. Self-care makes you squirm. Does the idea of focusing on you leave you intensely uncomfortable? Does it feel over-indulgent, unnecessary, or like a luxury that you are embarrassed to consider? Do you find yourself rolling your eyes when you hear experts talking about “making time for yourself” or “feeding your spirit?” Interesting. What’s even more interesting, is that often those who are the most uncomfortable with the idea of devoting excellent care and attention to themselves are actually excellent nurturers of others. In fact, often, the trap here may be that you are giving all your time and energy away and saving none for you. This is a major problem—for a number of reasons.

Most importantly, self-care is the stuff that fuels us. Feeding our spirits and nourishing ourselves (and I’m not talking about chocolate kisses here), are what replenishes our mojo and our passion. It’s what allows us to be our best and go out into the world and accomplish—not only our goals—but all the great things we want to do for everybody else. Without self-care and self-nourishment, you will be operating at a limited capacity. Here’s the other important part. When you don’t give yourself what you need, you are going to find yourself seeking quick, easy, inferior substitutions. That’s what stress eating and comfort eating are all about. If you have a habit that you aren’t happy with, ask yourself if it exists to make up for something that is missing in your life.

Do you relate with the first path? Next post I will identify a few more paths as well as some simple steps to help you get going in a different direction.

Take good care,

You CAN Change Your Body Image! Some Food for Thought

August 11th, 2010, No Comments »

Yesterday, I interviewed Sandy Kumskov, creator of the Body Image Revolution.

If you are a woman who doesn’t like her body, who struggles with body image, who has a hard time coming to terms with how you’ve aged physically, or with emotional eating, weight battles–any kind of physical dissatisfaction–this is a call that is important to hear.

I’m so happy that I met Sandy and have had the opportunity to join her revolution!

To listen to the replay, go here (no opt-in required).

To learn more about The Body Image Revolution go here . It’s good stuff.

Take good care,

Do You Have Your Blueprint for Thriving?

August 10th, 2010, No Comments »

In my part of the world, it’s “back to school” season. There are lots of ads about “fresh starts,” a “new season” and all the supplies that we can buy to be prepared. Many women start to think about fresh starts and changes for themselves as the new season approaches.

Can I be honest?

If you truly want to be successful with whatever change you are dreaming of making—ending overeating, losing the weight, getting fit, becoming more organized, or growing your business—new supplies, clothes, or even the newest book on the topic isn’t what’s going to do it for you.

It’s not about the plan. It’s about having a plan that you can follow through with. And a system in place in your life that allows you to complete the plan.

If you’ve tried to make this particular change before, think about it. Why didn’t it happen the last time you tried? Chances are you lost motivation. Or your schedule got too crazy. Or you found it too hard or too boring or too time consuming.  Or you felt guilty taking the time required to get to the gym or prepare the healthy food or work on your novel….

Quite simply, you didn’t have the blueprint you needed to get you to the final destination and help you stay there.

Showing you how to create that blueprint is what I’m good at.

Wouldn’t it be great to figure out how to get where you want to go—with the most ease and least amount of struggle?

Wouldn’t it be great to get moving NOW and be well on your way by October, November—the holidays?

Wouldn’t it be fantastic to start the New Year and have already accomplished that thing you resolve to do every January?

That’s what my new program, The THRIVE Formula: Four Weeks to Unleashing Your Inner Champion is all about. Sign up now. Start next week (or listen to the mp3 downloads on your own schedule). Fill in the action guides you’ll receive during and after each call and take the steps I give you. You’ll be in action toward your goals after the first call. And we’ll cover all the things you need to know to keep you unstuck and moving forward. You can even choose to have individual coaching along the way.

The seats are filling up. Are you going to join us?

http://unleashingyourinnerchampion.com

Take good care,