“This is harder than I thought!”

If you are like many smart busy women I know, you tell yourself that making you a priority should be simple. But let’s be honest, with all that you have going on, it can be a real challenge.

I have a confession. When I created my Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off (how to put yourself first without feeling selfish), I knew it was something that was desperately needed, but I was not sure that those who need it most would let themselves have it. After all, you must say, “I’m worth it” to invest your time, energy, hope, and money into something that is just for you—even if the real investment required is just minutes each day for a week.

But I created this program anyway, because I know that if you can’t put yourself on your priority list, bad stuff happens.

• Your health suffers
• Your pants get tight
• You get cranky or sleep-deprived and a lot less fun to be around.

And no matter how much you spend on the next miracle solution for stress or weight loss or to help you make more money, it won’t work. Because you will still be stuck in the pattern of being too busy, too stressed, and too overwhelmed to give your priorities the attention they deserve.

I have a serious question for you. How many hundreds of dollars of unused “advice” do you have taking up space on your bookshelves, your bedside table, and on your computer because you just haven’t gotten around to reading or implementing the advice that you’ve learned?

For many of you, learning to put yourself first and finding out how to carve out the time for you is the missing piece.

In a few weeks, I’m going to release a new program to help you jump start your success with overeating and emotional eating. I’ve taken lots of your feedback and I think many of you are going to love what I’m going to share. It’s going to be simple and do-able and have the pieces you need to be effective. I can’t wait to share it with you.

But here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter how wonderful any program or product or expert is if you aren’t able to make good use of what is offered. No program works if you can never quite get around to focusing on you. Knowing how to put yourself first and honor your priorities is the first step towards any successful change. It’s critical.

I want to be helpful to you, but without this piece, my hands are tied. I truly believe that the Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off is the first step in making peace with your life, peace with food, or achieving your goals.

If you already know how to prioritize yourself, I am so happy for you–you know how key this is. If you are still struggling, NOW is the time to take action. I know, it’s something that is hard for you, but take the first step. Don’t try to skip it. Start building the foundation you need to really take on the world.

Take good care,

If you are you a busy woman, a business owner, or mom with too much on your plate, here are three easy ways to start moving from stress and overload to ease, abundance, and success.

1. Set the tone. Your busy brain finds and collects the information that it’s looking for. If you want to spend your day focused on stress and overload, begin by worrying about what you haven’t done. Want more ease and calm? Set an attitude focused on accomplishment and positivity.  List three things you are grateful for before you even get out of bed and review three things that you WILL accomplish today. Put on music that inspires and create and live in positive energy.
2. Don’t ignore the food and don’t deprive yourself. Ease and calm require consistent fuel. Eat something for breakfast that has protein in it. This will tide you over much better than a bagel or a bowl of cereal or the nothing that you usually feed yourself. Give yourself a short deadline (two minutes is plenty) and decide NOW what you will have for lunch and dinner if you don’t already have a plan. Unmade decisions create stress. Hunger and low blood sugar lead to bad decisions and (often) overeating.
3. Slow down. Rushing, even when you are busy, rarely makes anyone more productive. Focus does. Hold on to your vision of ease and calm and your three priority tasks. Do one thing at a time. In a world of mutitasking and Twitter, giving your whole self over to a task can be grounding and even meditative. Really. Ask yourself throughout the day where you want to place your energy in this moment. Close down the other windows on your computer, let your phone go to voice mail, and let the other tasks wait until it is their turn. Enjoy the job you dive into, the feeling of undivided attention, the conversation you have while being fully present, and the lunch you get to savor.

This is the only life you are going to live today. Be in it.

How do you release stress and create calm and ease in your busy life? Share your thoughts and ideas by leaving a comment.

Take good care,

The term “life balance” comes with a lot of baggage—especially to many women who are stressed and busy balancing work, family, relationships, and more. I’ve encountered everything from anger to extreme defensiveness when I’ve brought up the term.

More than one successful woman has told me “I don’t believe in life balance.” “Work-life balance is a myth,” and even, “balance isn’t possible–it just sets us up for failure.”

Gulp. Strong feelings. The idea of creating balance in a busy life is overwhelming, emotional, and feels like a dream for many.

I got my haircut last week and that meant leafing through some big, fat, ad-filled magazines that I don’t normally read. I reached for O and ended up reading Oprah’s interview with Mehmet Oz (Dr. Oz) in the December issue. They were chatting away, covering ground I am familiar with. Eating well, learning how to say, “No.” The importance of setting boundaries so that you can take care of yourself. And then Oprah fessed up. She offered Mehmet Oz “. . . some advice, even though I’m not taking it myself.”

Oprah went on to say that she believes it’s important to make a conscious decision to create balance in your life—but she’s not doing it. She even said she’s not making any more resolutions until she creates more balance for herself—and Dr. Oz says something like, “Well when you figure it out, let me know, because I don’t know how to do it either.”

If this is something that you struggle with, you are in good company.

Maybe it’s just me, but it all sounded a bit like lip service. Like these two incredibly influential people don’t really believe this whole balance thing is possible. It reads a bit like “yeah, right. Balance is nice, but if you want to  be successful….”

I may be wrong about this. Oprah and Mehmet, I’d love to hear from you.

If Dr. Oz and Oprah can’t figure it out, can you?

Of course you can.

First off, stop getting all tied up in knots about the concept.

I’ve heard the arguments. “Balance is always changing.” There is no “perfect” balance. “Rhythm” or “flow” are better words to use. “I don’t balance, I dance.”

Great. Here’s what I think. I believe that when most of us talk about “life balance (or whatever words we choose),” we’re speaking about creating a way of spending or budgeting our energy and time that feeds us and that is aligned with our priorities. Yes, it’s different for everyone. Go ahead and use whatever words you want. But rolling your eyes at the idea is really an expression of feeling stuck or powerless or (maybe) content with the way things are.

Some high-achievers hide their fear of being stuck or incapable by pretending they like things the way they are or by pretending that it’s silly to want anything different.

Are you living your best life? I believe that you were put on this earth to be your best, unique version of yourself. If you aren’t spending your energy and your time in a way that allows you to bring your gifts to the world, something is out of whack. That’s my belief and my litmus test for balance. You are free to have a different one.

Want to create better balance in your life? I absolutely believe that it’s possible. Of course, it’s usually not an instant, “snap your fingers” kind of shift, but there is almost always a way to make things work better.

If you want more ease, flow, or balance in your life, here are some ways to get started:

Stop believing (openly or secretly) that it’s impossible.  You may not have a clue how to get there, but that does not mean there is no way out of whatever trap you find yourself in.  Does Oprah believe she will ever be able to create that balance that she craves?  I really don’t know. It sure sounds like she knows that she’d benefit if she could achieve it. Most of us know that if our life worked better for us we’d sleep better or stress less or lose weight or whatever. But do we really believe it’s achievable? That’s the first step. Faith that your best life is out there and that it can include more of the good stuff that feeds your spirit and your soul is an essential key to creating balance and ease in your life.

Give yourself space to start figuring out what better balance looks like and feels like for you. That’s not always easy and there is no cookie cutter formula. It involves listening to yourself. Don’t worry about the big picture and how you are ever going to balance the bajillion things you have going on. That’s a trap that may overwhelm you and keep you stuck. Start small and do-able. You are creating a path, one step at a time. Tune in to the path and the steps you need to take by carving out me-time religiously—just like you make time for brushing your teeth, commit to making time for yourself. Don’t worry, you don’t have to take a weekend retreat on a deserted island. My Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off and my Success Soundtrack™ program show you how to make incredibly productive use out of just ten minutes of me-time a day.

Finally, don’t get freaked out when you don’t have the answers. Doing some things differently may mean that you are going to need to acquire some new tools or expertise to move forward. Give yourself permission to know where you want to go and seek out what you need to figure out the best way to get there.

And Oprah and Dr. Oz? I’d love to take a stab at helping you define your paths. You’ve got the potential to help so many even more than you already do. Please, please, please, don’t lose your faith in the possibility of a life that works better.

Take good care,

The winter holidays are here and with all the joy and excitement, they also include challenges and realities that can throw your goals, routines, and eating off course. As much as many of us look forward to this time of year, we know that it is stressful and that the food-filled festivities can be a recipe for overeating and weight gain.

The research on holiday weight gain and stress is worth paying attention to. Holiday stress has a particular impact on women, who take charge of many of the holiday celebrations, particularly the tasks related to food.

Women are more likely to report increased stress during the holiday season. Women have a harder time relaxing during the holidays and are more likely to fall into bad habits like emotional eating to manage overload or overwhelm. Our health can take a further hit because, during the holidays, people are much more likely to choose non-active (and ineffective) activities like watching TV, sleeping, eating and drinking to manage their stress.

Many people engage in emotional eating and other unhealthy behaviors to cope with their stress levels during the holidays, and as you probably know, weight gain is a big issue. People gain more weight during the holiday season than any other time of year. It gets worse. We’re less likely to lose the weight we gain over the holidays, and, if you are already overweight, you are likely to gain more weight than average.

I’m not trying to be a downer here, but the holiday season is definitely a time to be proactive if you want to avoid overeating, weight gain, and stress and begin the New Year feeling on track and in control.

Here are five essential ingredients for staying on track with weight, health, and stress over the holiday season:

1. Set a goal. Be clear on what it is you plan to accomplish over the next several weeks. Be realistic; make sure it’s manageable; and be concrete. Your goals don’t have to be huge. Maybe you are going to pack a healthy lunch every day or walk on your lunch hour. Maybe you will only eat dessert on certain days of the week. Pick a goal that fits you and make sure that you can easily tell whether you are on track or not.

2. Create a plan. This is not the time of year to take anything for granted. Make sure you know the how and the when of anything you plan to do. Schedule time for your goals NOW before life gets any busier. Write things down. Identify the steps you will need to take. For instance, if you are going to pack a daily lunch, make sure you have ideas of what you will take, that you have the time to prepare it, and groceries on hand. Set yourself up for success by thinking things through on the front end.

3. Keep it do-able. I’m repeating myself here because it’s important. When you set goals that are too big, you are setting yourself up to fail and to feel ineffective. This is probably not the time of year when you will maximize weight loss, in fact, for many women, the goal may be not to gain. That’s great. Be honest with yourself about what you want to do and what you really can do over the next six weeks. Remember, small changes—the ones you can maintain–can create big results.

4. Savor and be selective. Think about food ahead of time. You probably encounter some special foods over the holidays that you don’t want to pass up. Plan for these, and whatever you do, make darn sure that you stop and savor them (without guilt). You can’t really indulge if you are busy feeling bad or mad at yourself for what you are eating. Make those calories count!

On the other hand, you’re going to encounter lots of unhealthy food you probably don’t really care about over the next few weeks. Consider making some policies for yourself about foods you are willing to forgo. Do you really care about the store-bought dinner rolls or the eggnog? Get clear NOW on what you will happily skip.

5. Commit to me-time. Remember all that stuff about holiday stress? As busy as you may be this holiday season, it’s important to set aside regular time just for you. This will help you manage your stress, stay connected with your needs and your goals, and feel better. You’re likely to be less irritable, more focused, and more productive if you commit to taking regular me-time. As little as ten minutes a day can reduce stress, add ease, and make an incredible difference in how you feel and function.

What are your holiday survival tips? I’d love to hear. Leave a comment and let me know your challenges and how you plan to stay on track this year.

Take good care,

If you read my newsletter, you may have noticed that I’ve been reminding you about the upcoming Too Much on Her Plate Week for a while now and you may be wondering just what it is and why you should care. Well, here’s the scoop.

Too Much on Her Plate Week is an event I created out of appreciation for you. I know you are busy and I am honored that you take time out of your full lives to visit my website, read my articles, and converse with me on Facebook. You are amazing women doing amazing things and I appreciate the opportunity to be a part of your lives.

I also know that for many of you, those lives could be easier. Many of you would love to have things flow better—to have less stress, less clutter, or to have a better handle on certain habits or routines.

In my work, I run across some amazing experts as well—people who have great stuff to offer who are wonderful resources for women with too much on their plates. Too Much on Her Plate Week is my way of thanking you, and, hopefully, adding more ease and joy to your life and your work.

Beginning November 14, my colleagues and I have made available a huge assortment of free gifts for you. No sales pitches, no credit card numbers required. All you do is register and then select the gifts that you want to receive!

Sound good? Keep an eye on your mailbox for news about how to attend. Remember, the doors open November 14 and they will only be open for a week.

Take good care,

PS: Beginning this week, I'll be introducing you to some of the experts participating in Too Much on Her Plate Week by having them guest post, here, on our blog. Let me know what you think!

PPS: This event is open to everyone. If you know a busy woman who might benefit, my best advice is to have her sign up on my mailing list so she will get all the news too. Just send her to http://TooMuchonHerPlate.com
 

If you’ve been a part of my community for long, you probably know that dreams are important to me. I believe strongly that this is the life we were given to live, and it is too short not to be living our best version of it. I have to say that for me, I NEVER dreamed that best version would include running. In fact, in my twenties or thirties, I would have bet a great deal of money that I would NEVER run a half marathon or a marathon. Life is funny like that.

I started running when I was 40, and surprised myself by how much I love it. I've met some incredible people, and along the way, somebody said, "We should train for something." Oh boy. The rest is a long story that I'll save for another post. Here's what this one is about:

You may have heard that my big juicy goal for the year has been to run the New York City Marathon on November 6. This will be the fourth marathon I’ve run, but it’s the one I’ve wanted to run for a very long time. Many of my running friends dream of running the Boston Marathon. Me, I’ve always wanted to run New York. This year, I finally got in. I’ve trained hard, and now, I’m entering the final countdown for the race. Two weeks from today, I'll be getting on a plane to New York City. Gulp!

At this point, I’ve completed all my long training runs. I’m focused on staying healthy and getting all the final details in place. One of which (of course), is what to wear.

I’ve been a fan of running skirts (skorts, actually), for years. Last year, I ran the Twin Cities Marathon in pink polka dots (that's my dad handing off water. He's coming to New York just to cheer me on!!).

Now I have to choose the perfect skirt for my dream marathon. This IS New York after all! <grin>
I’m polling my friends, family, and YOU.  Will you vote?

Note: I’m taking a vote, but in the spirit of last-minute-nervousness-and-obsessing, this woman reserves the right to make the ultimate decision ..

Here are the choices:

Skirt One (Black Paisley):

Skirt Two (Heartstooth):

To contribute your two cents, just leave a comment at the bottom of this post. Oh–one more request: I need to update my playlist with lots of motivating, mojo-generating music. What song(s) would you suggest? Please leave your suggestions in your comment too!

Thanks for your help!

What holds you back?

• A busy life?
• Too much stress?
• Inner doubt?
• Frustration with yourself?
• Feeling like you aren’t enough, don’t have enough focus, or need to lose ten pounds first?

• Less stress
• A healthier lifestyle
• A lower number on the scale
• More professional satisfaction and success
• Happier relationships

What do the owner of a 7-figure business, a mom going back to school to begin a new career, a newly divorced professional dynamo, and a fledgling business owner have in common?

• More energy
• A better mood
• Improved relationships
• Less overeating and other unhelpful habits
• And more success?

I’m going to be sharing some of my best tips and tricks for THRIVING in a no-cost webinar next Tuesday, October 4, and I’m inviting you to attend. The presentation is called: How to Prioritize Yourself AND Be More Effective In Your Life. You can attend via phone, Skype, or the internet. I’ll be recording the call and granting access to all who register.

• The hidden (and not so hidden) costs of NOT prioritizing yourself 
• How to eliminate the biggest obstacle busy women face when trying to take better care of themselves and create more me-time
• Five ways you might be sabotaging yourself (and not even know it) 
• Seven things you can start doing NOW to start prioritizing your own needs (even if it feels like you are too busy) 

How can I fit myself in? How can I make time for me? How do I decide what to do when it ALL seems important? “How do I stop snacking when it’s the only treat I get?”

These questions rotate through my email inbox on an almost daily basis. These are concerns that plague many of you and the issue of whether you can find or make time for yourself or whether it’s “okay” to put yourself first (or even put yourself on your to-do list at all) occupies a lot of mental space.

You likely don’t agonize about whether you should say “no” to something in order to have time to fill the gas tank in your car because you know that without gas, the car isn’t going to take you anywhere you need to go. You need fuel to operate and you act accordingly. You get the gas.

It’s not working and it’s time to make some major adjustments.

Start by stopping the questions about “can I?” and replacing them with the statements “I need to” and “I know it’s essential that.”

As in, “I need to allow myself time to eat a healthy lunch” and “I know it’s essential that I take time for a walk today because it helps me feel better and less stressed.” “I need to take a break so I’ll be able to refocus on this project and so I don't resort to nervous eating this afternoon.”

Put yourself on the priority list, not off to the side where you list the extra things that you hope to have time for.

Putting yourself first and taking a stand on your own behalf is a declaration, not a question. It isn’t always easy, but the payoff is huge.

Take good care,

PS: Would you like some structure to help you put yourself first without feeling guilty? Check out my Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off for a simple, do-able way to stop worrying about and start doing self-care.