Have you ever wished you had your own personal easy button (you know, to make your life easier)?

For busy high-achievers, life certainly has its moments. And sometimes, with all our big ideas, big projects, big goals, and big lives, life can seem . . . hard. 

Okay, not seem hard. Sometimes it’s a really difficult challenge. But here’s the thing. We don’t like to believe or admit this, but for many busy women, WE are the biggest obstacle to a life with more ease and less stress. It’s true. A lot of the time, with a few simple tweaks and adjustments, life could be easier. Heck, even the tough stuff could be less of a struggle.

Without making it too complicated, here are a few ways you might be able to make your life easier, less stressful, and more fun.

1.      Preserve your brain space. In a complicated life, your brain, your thoughts, and your mental energy represent valuable real estate. Don’t waste this on places that don’t matter. Consider what you can ritualize or turn into a routine or system that doesn’t require a lot of thought. For example, plan your menus weekly instead of feeling overwhelmed each evening with the “what’s for dinner?” question, then save your grocery lists and weekly menus until you have four or five weeks of them. You’ll never have to start planning from scratch again—unless you want to.

Make it easy: What routine tasks stress you out and how could you create a better system or routine for getting them done (preferably in batches)?

2.      Prioritize and schedule. Before you dive into your day, it’s worth taking ten minutes to plan for success. Identify both what your priorities are and when you are going to make the time for them.

Make it easy: What important to you that’s always falling off your radar? Ask yourself whether you’ve really designated a place for it in your life. If you haven’t, do so now.

3.      Gather your mojo. Even the hardest jobs get easier when we have reasons for doing them that inspire action and passion. If you need convincing, just think of the people who run into burning buildings to save someone trapped inside. A compelling “why” will allow you to move mountains. It will also help you move past fears of public speaking, procrastination, and even weight loss plateaus. If you are feeling stuck or uninspired or paralyzed, try asking yourself why you are attempting what you are attempting. Why is it important? What is the result you are seeking? What possibilities or options will completing it create? If that reason isn’t compelling enough, dig deeper.

Make it easy: Are there areas of your life where you are stuck or uninspired but feeling pressured to do “it” anyway? Dig for your “why.” Keep digging until you discover what it is and you can approach the job with the sense of meaning or importance it has for you.  If you can’t come up with a compelling enough reason to move forward, it’s worth asking why you are pushing yourself to do it.

4.      Ask for help. This is the place where I find the most instant ease. It seems so obvious, but it’s also a place we tend to overlook—all the time. Other people have answers and skills and talents that we don’t have. It’s more fun to do something difficult in the company of others. It’s also a whole lot easier not to get trapped in mindsets that sabotage us when we are moving forward with someone else.

Make it easy: Where are you flying solo when you might really benefit from delegating, bringing in a partner, a mentor, an expert, or a friend?

5.      Approach yourself and your life with kindness. Ditch the perfectionism. Reward your progress and recognize your efforts. Treat yourself as you would a good friend or your mother—and pay attention if that’s entirely different from how you normally judge and talk to yourself. Be open to tweaking and readjusting instead of trying to force things to happen. See your progress as an experiment. Be open to what works, and see what doesn’t as an opportunity to self-correct, not as a failure.

Make it easy: Are there places where your own harshness or your strict expectations are getting in the way of you feeling at ease to move forward? Where does it currently feel like you are “forcing” or struggling when maybe you could change your approach and find an easier path?

There are so many ways that we can over-complicate things or sabotage ourselves. The good news is, there are just as many ways that we can step out of our own way and lighten our own load. I’d love to hear from you. What have you found makes the tough stuff easier? Leave a comment and share your success and your favorite strategies.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

No-calorie self-care treats for YOU

We’re nearing the end of the 30 Day Self-care Challenge.  Mother’s Day is approaching, and I’m continually being asked—

“How do I fit in self-care?”

“How do I actually indulge and reward myself without turning to food?”

“I’m out of practice—what are some do-able and easy self-care ideas?”

High quality self-care begins with good intentions, but it only counts when you find ways to follow through, put yourself first, and prioritize and act on the things that make you shine and feel fabulous. There are at least two types of self-care.

The basic foundational pieces include things like sleep, good nutrition, regular activity and stress relief. These keep you functioning and in good condition. Then there are the lovely, special self-care actions you take on your own behalf—the ways you indulge, treat yourself, and gift yourself with kindness and good stuff. Unfortunately, this is the fantabulous aspect of self-care that too many busy women decide they don’t have time for—or that they don’t deserve—or that they need to work even harder to earn.

Important note: you don’t have to earn the right to high quality self-care and every single one of us deserves to be treated fabulously.

You know what happens. When you don’t get what you need, or when you expect to do without and live solely on hard work and the things you “should” do, life not only gets tedious, but stress builds, and so do habits like overeating and emotional eating—ways women try to make up for not getting what they are really craving.

Treating yourself is important. And yet, if you aren’t used to doing it, if you are busy and overloaded, you might have a tough time figuring out where to start. Guess what? I’ve made it easy. Whether you’re looking for ways to continue the self-care challenge, treat yourself, or even find the perfect Mother’s Day gift for another busy woman, I want you to have new, do-able, fun ideas to get the ball rolling—no matter how busy you find yourself.

Full disclosure: In my search to bring you some fresh ideas, I put the word out about what I was looking for. I learned about some of the ideas featured on this list because companies sent me samples to try. Other ideas are some I’ve come to love all on my own. I am not receiving any  compensation from any of the companies featured here.

Fun Self-care: Simple Ways to Savor and Indulge Without Gaining Weight (no matter how busy you are)

Indulging is about savoring and experiencing fully, and this means really engaging your senses. Any time you are looking for fun self-care, think about ways you can really engage and delight your sense of touch, taste, hearing, smell, or sight.

The Perfect Mother’s Day Delight

I used to think the smell of roses was too old and too much, but lately, it seems like the rose scents have changed. The One Hundred Roses line is perfect—and how fitting if you are looking for a special Mother’s Day gift for yourself or someone else. The One Hundred Roses Bubble Bath is infused with essential oils of fresh cut roses and summer flowers, rosewater and natural extracts. Take a mug of tea, or a glass of your favorite wine into the bath with a great book and you may just have created the ultimate self-care indulgence. No time for a bath? The body lotion smells just as good.

Spa Day for the Time-challenged

If a bubble bath sounds delightful but you just don’t have the time, an Aromatherapy Shower Burst might be what you’re looking for. When taking a bath isn’t an option these 100% natural Shower Bursts transform your ordinary shower into an aromatherapy experience. Place one burst on the floor in the shower and let the indirect spray activate the aromatherapy experience.  Made of 100% essential oils, you can pick a scent that fits your mood. Oh, and in case you wonder like I did, they don’t make a mess or leave gunk in your shower. 

A Facial for your Hands

That’s what I labeled the experience that I got when I tried out the therapeutic hand scrub and cream from Seed. In the time it takes to wash your hands, you massage a bit of the 100% natural seed scrub into the backs and the palms of your hands. It feels great and exfoliates (something I’ve never done to my hands before). Then you use their hand cream—I loved the relaxing lavender. My hands felt great, the quick treatment was stress relieving, and the smell of the hand cream lingered. This is truly simple self-care.

Sink into Yourself

Gift yourself by giving yourself time and the opportunity to connect with yourself. One of the most powerful tools for knowing yourself and staying tuned in to what you need, want, and feel is journaling. Make it a treat by downloading your words into something gorgeous and substantial. I love the feel of a brand new, blank journal—just don’t let the beauty of the book intimidate you. These are made for free associating, scribbling, and, yes, making mistakes. It’s all good. Paperblanks makes beautiful journals and they are widely available in stores and online.

Escape and Savor your Surroundings

It’s so easy to miss the delights that are happening all around us. That’s why I loved the suggestion I received from Sweet-seed. Recovering from surgery a few years ago, my husband discovered a whole new, relaxing world as he sat trapped in a recliner and noticed the birds in our backyard in a new way. Since then, we’ve added more bird feeders and learned that the quality of the bird food makes a difference in the birds we attract—and we’ve had a great time just sitting, watching, and listening to all the life that happens right in front of us.

And for the Really Time Strapped

Let’s get one thing straight. Self-care is not optional and I don’t believe there is no time for it in your life. I challenge you to claim the time. That said, in writing this article, I was reminded that there are simple ways to feed your senses well in the midst of all kinds of experiences. Even cleaning your kitchen. Doing simple acts, like scrubbing your sink, mindfully and with your senses engaged can ground you, help you quiet your mind and reduce your stress. The key is being aware and being present. Creating a rewarding sensory experience helps a lot with this. If this is how you are spending the moment, why not upgrade the experience? Lemon Road introduced me to their all-natural scented kitchen cleaners for your home. These handcrafted cleaners for your sink contain essential oils and actually do smell great. The citrus spice scouring powder really does help shift the experience and just might help pull you back into yourself in the midst of a busy day.Take this idea and run with it. How can you upgrade the sensory in your day to day?

Give Yourself Permission

I hope these ideas have helped. That said, it might not be a lack of ideas that has you stuck. Easy and consistent self-care requires a mindset that allows you to prioritize your own needs and possibly a new approach that allows you to find the time. Putting yourself first isn’t selfish. It’s actually critical for thriving in your life and creating long term success. If you struggle with keeping yourself on your radar and claiming the time and the energy you need and reserve, the How to Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off may be just the place to begin.

Life is too short not to live your best version of it. I hope this list helps you infuse more high quality self-care into your days.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

So many of us struggle with “enoughness.”

Am I good enough?

Thin enough?

Successful enough?

Have I gotten enough done, said enough, tried enough?

Did I put in enough time, give enough, tip enough, work out enough, push myself enough?

Did I spend enough time at the office, on the yard, on my partner, on my kids . . . ?

ENOUGH!

Enoughness even gets in our way when we are trying to break the cycle of NOT being enough.

I don’t know how many women I’ve talked to, struggling to find time for themselves, who have poo-pooed the idea of a simple act because, “that would never be enough. If I’m going to take time for me, I’d need more than that.” So, (as I point out), they choose to go without.

Going to bed a half hour early, “wouldn’t make a difference.”

Ten minutes of focus on something important, “wouldn’t count.”

Ten minutes of walking around the neighborhood “isn’t nearly enough of a workout.”

So they choose nothing.

We’re also scared we won’t be satisfied with enough. A client tells me she is afraid to allow herself to really enjoy, indulge, and savor an excellent piece of chocolate. Because she is afraid she will gobble the whole bar. So she denies herself, feels deprived, and does end up eating the whole thing later—not in a savoring, indulgent sort of way, but in secret, feeling guilty and frustrated with herself.

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Not really, I don’t think I really even tasted most of it, I was so mad.”

Do you hear what’s going on?

It’s perfectionism.

Perfectionism is black and white thinking that lies to us that it’s a standard of excellence. What perfectionism really is is a standard of impossibility that paralyzes us, causes us to respond in the extreme, and never allows us to feel satisfied, effective, or good.

Escaping the trap of perfectionism:

All-or-nothing thinking hardly ever works. In your busy life, when do you ever have time for all?

What if you allowed what you really have to give to be enough? If this makes you nervous, add the phrase “for now.”

Small steps count. If you let them.

Last week, I challenged you to commit to small daily acts of self-care. The main requirement was that you pick actions that were really do-able. No day-long spa retreats or tropical vacations. For many of you, thinking as small as I suggested, was new. “I can do it when it’s laid out this way” was the gist of many emails I received.

Are you seeing it? Small steps work. You can do amazing things for your spirit and your self in ten minutes. You can start to build new habits and routines. When you are consistent. When you allow yourself to be present. When you savor.

There IS a lot you can’t do in ten minutes. It’s true. And if you focus on that, you win the argument and you stay stuck.

Escaping the trap sometimes means letting go of your focus on “enough” and breathing into what you have.

Owning your time and being present in THIS moment.

Making deliberate choices.

The big question is this: where in your life is perfectionism and the need for enough sucking you dry and wearing you out?

Consider this: what small shift could you allow? What might change if you focused on changes that felt possible and do-able?

Drinking enough water every day.

Moving from no exercise to a ten minute walk.

Eliminating multitasking when you eat.

Joining the self-care challenge.

Getting more sleep.

Breaking free of perfectionism probably means picking one or two to start—not everything on the list .

When it comes to being happy and successful, enoughness can be a big lie and perfectionism is a red herring. We are the choices that we make. How are you feeling about yours?

Take good care,

Ready for small steps? I believe they are the place to start and recommend the following programs:

The Get OVER Overeating 7 Day Jumpstart: Change your mindset, get new tools, get on track in seven days.

The Success Soundtrack™ : Add more ease, flow, me-time and success in just ten minutes a day.

The How to Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off: Seven days of do-able action steps.

Melissa McCreery

How to get rid of mental clutter and create more success

Is your brain working for you or against you these days? Whether you are trying to reduce stress, take more time for yourself, stop overeating, or simply enjoy life more, if you don’t believe you can, you probably won’t. March is National Nutrition month and the theme this year is one I love—Get Your Plate in Shape. While the holiday itself is promoting good nutrition, whenever I hear the slogan I think of everything we have on our plates and how essential it is to take charge of our thinking and our lives if we want to get healthy, get happier, or yes, even stop overeating. One key piece of this process is addressing mental clutter.

My good friend Lorie Marrero teaches people how to de-clutter by going on a Clutterdiet®. It’s a great metaphor because we all know how clutter can bog down our lives and lead to stress and feeling overwhelmed (and if you are looking for help in this area, I strongly recommend Lorie’s program). Clutter goes deeper than our surroundings though. As we head into spring, I’d like to support you in something much bigger than airing out your home and clearing out your closets. While the results from these actions feel great, I’d like to suggest that you can get even bigger results if you focus first on de-cluttering your brain, refreshing your mindset, and doing a bit of internal spring cleaning.

Ready to get started? Grab something to write with.

Simple steps to start de-cluttering your brain and refreshing your mindset (so you can make healthy changes):

Let’s start by clearing out some of the overwhelm, time pressure, and to-do list clutter. What are your top 1-4 priorities for the next 30 days? Write these down. Do you know what you need to do to address these? If not, where will you get help? If you know what you need to do, have you allotted time for this in your schedule? If you haven’t, do this NOW. Break things down into even smaller chunks. What is your priority for today? If you haven’t already, assign the space you need to devote your energy to it.

Take charge of the mental clutter that can drain your energy. What is draining your energy or your motivation? List anything that is getting in your way, anything that you are tolerating that isn’t working for you, anything that is distracting you or wasting your energy or focus. Now comes the hard part. Imagine that I’m standing next to you as your life coach. Our aim is to make your life work for you in the best way possible. I challenge you to write down an action next to each item on your list of energy drains. Your choices might be:

1. Stop wasting my time on this. Stop participating in this activity, relationship, etc.
2. Delegate this to _______________________
3. Postpone dealing with this until _______________________
4. Set a date for resolving this and put it in my calendar here:________________
5. Put this on my master to-do list to get to at some future date (and stop worrying about it now)
6. Limit the time and energy I give to this to (choose a specific amount of time or specific hours of the day or month) ___________________________________
7. Acknowledge that this is something I will choose to focus on until (specific date) _______________________ because _____________________________
8. Change the way I’m addressing this by _____________________________

The point of this de-cluttering is to own where you are spending your time and energy.

Take control of mental static. Take a few minutes to breathe deeply and be present with yourself. Stop and consider the words that most frequently flow through your head and the way that you talk to yourself throughout the day. What are you saying and thinking? Be honest here. Write down whatever comes to mind.

Your soundtrack takes up powerful real estate. The way you speak and think to yourself will impact your confidence, your motivation, your energy, and your focus. As you know, we tend to see what we are looking for. If you are living your life in a place of stress and overwhelm, you are likely to notice and collect more of this and miss out on a lot of good stuff that can make life feel good.

Start a collection of messages you want to have in your head—mantras, reminders, encouragement that will help you stay motivated and feel positive. Write these down too. Consider placing these where you will see them and be reminded of them frequently. Choose your most powerful positive message and set a goal of writing it (by hand) ten times a day to help get it ingrained in your mind.

Examine your beliefs. What do you believe about your ability to be successful with stress, with your ability to stop overeating, or with your ability to achieve your current goals? Take some time to really think about this because your beliefs underscore everything you do. Do you have a clear vision in your mind of you crossing the finish line and a belief that you will accomplish your goal? Be honest here. This is a critical piece of mind clutter—because if you don’t see yourself as having the potential to succeed, than your attempts are like rolling a boulder uphill against whatever mindsets and negative beliefs you are fighting.

Write down any negative mindsets you are aware of that are blocking your path. Common examples are “I’ll always be overweight,” “I’m just lazy,” or “I’m not (fill in the blank) enough to (fill in your goal).”

The first step is to understand that these mindsets are roadblocks. The next step is to begin to challenge them. Begin by crafting statements that are positive instead of negative and that focus on what you do believe is possible for you. Don’t worry if your positive beliefs and confidence in yourself starts out small. You will build these over time by focusing on what you can do instead of on what you don’t believe or have confidence in.

Now, you’re ready to start taking daily do-able action. Get a colorful pad of sticky notes and put it in your workspace. At the start of every day, I challenge you to write down your three priority action items, your positive belief or positive intention for the day, and one lovely thing you will do for you. Attention high-achievers: If it doesn’t fit on that sticky note, you are probably biting off too much!

De-cluttering and de-stressing shouldn’t overwhelm your life. Give yourself time to play around with these steps. Pay special attention to any steps that are difficult for you—these are almost always the areas that need the attention most. If you find yourself getting bogged down repeatedly, get some help. You’ll almost always be able to upgrade your thinking and your actions much more quickly and get on the road to making powerful changes in much less time.

Take good care,

PS: All of our coaching and products address mindset and “mental clutter” because I believe healthy thinking is the foundation of lasting healthy lifestyle change. Here are my favorite quick-start tools for brain de-cluttering:

The Success Soundtrack™: Discover and dissolve the big five mindsets that sabotage smart high-achievers and start creating more ease, focus, and success in ten minutes a day.

The Get OVER Overeating 7 Day Jumpstart: Get your mindset, your habits, and your strategies in place to take charge of overeating and emotional eating.

The How to Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off: Learn how to put yourself first and prioritize your needs and wants without feeling selfish.

Melissa McCreery

Today, February 13, is the 44^th day of 2012. We’re a month and a half into our new year. If you are like me, it may feel like the time has flown. I’m posting today to ask you to take a quick inventory.

How are you progressing on the goals and deadlines that you set for yourself at the beginning of the year? Are you making progress or are you feeling stuck or like you have fallen off your priority list?

If things have not gone as planned, please don’t despair. Life happens. From time to time we all fall off track (or even forget where we are going). Sometimes the goals that feel the most inspired aren’t enough to keep us moving. It happens.

If you didn’t wake up today feeling unstoppable, confident and effective in your life, this is your signal that it’s time to shake things up. Don’t fall into the trap of pushing harder at something that just isn’t going to work for you. Sometimes change requires working smarter and differently than you are used to.

The first steps I always recommend:

• Make sure you really know how to put yourself and your goals on your priority list.
• Make sure you are truly spending your valuable time and energy in the places that are important.
• Make sure you have a system in place that ensures that this continues to happen.
• Make sure that guilt and self-blame aren’t distracting and sabotaging you. They serve no one and do nothing but waste time and energy for everyone.

If you aren’t already doing these things, know that they can make an almost instant difference in your life. Simple shifts can free up time and energy, improve your focus and your efficiency, and leave you less irritable and frustrated and more able to give to the others in your life that you care about. (It’s like a Valentine’s Day bonus for everyone )

If you struggle to put yourself first without feeling selfish, or simply don’t know how to start, the best resource I know of is the Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off. I designed this program for my private clients who needed a quick and easy way to get started on just this issue. Now it’s almost instantly accessible for you to use too.

In just one week, the Put Yourself First Blast-off walks you through the steps so that you can:

• Create (and take) me-time (even if you are busy)
• Craft your winning mindset (and stop setting yourself up with plans that don’t work)
• Find out how to take action without getting stressed or overwhelmed
• Learn some of my best tricks for making it as simple and struggle-free as possible

All in daily, easy-to-digest tips and downloads that show up in your email inbox.

Today is day 44 of 2012. It’s the day to take stock and ask yourself whether you are poised to make the most of the next 322 days. If the answer is not a resounding, “YES!”—it’s time to make a shift.

Are you ready to join the blast-off? Here’s what past participants accomplished in just seven days:

• “I started going to the gym. Adding more veggies/fruit/water.”
• “It was of great help to me to get me started on a daily plan that I wanted, but never seemed to find the time to do.”
• “This program is very powerful and I would recommend it to anyone.”
• “Mission Accomplished Big Time!”
• “Totally loved the program. Have been in a great mood all week just from Putting Myself First. My energy has increased and people are noticing. My friends are contacting me more because I am happier with myself.”
• “My self esteem has increased from focusing on myself. This is powerful and naturally builds confidence which is much more sustainable.”
• “I am calmer throughout the day!”
• “(This program) filled in some pieces I didn’t know I even needed to think about or identify.”

Small changes can pay off in big ways. Are you exactly where you want to be today or is it time for a change? Go here to learn more and get started before another week passes.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

When you are struggling with too much—whether it’s too much weight, too much to do, or just too much stress, setting goals and deciding to change can feel impossible.

“I know where I want to end up, but when I look at how far I have to go, it feels overwhelming,” a client in one of my emotional eating coaching programs shared. “How am I going to make all the changes I need to make? When I look at the weight I need to lose (135 pounds), I feel hopeless.”

When you are overwhelmed, overloaded, or overeating, the hole you see yourself in can feel pretty deep. If your stress level is high to begin with and your calendar is crowded, thinking about your weight loss or life balancing project can exhaust you before you even really get going.

What do you do when change seems insurmountable?

Dream big and step deliberately. This is a theme that has been coming up quite a bit with my private coaching clients and I want to share it with you.

If you are a high achiever who expects a lot of herself, this can be a delicate balance, but it’s the key to really getting where you want to go, not selling yourself short, and not creating a lot of stress and overwhelm that sabotages your success.

Here’s what you need to do.

Set your GPS. Define your destination. This is the big, bold, juicy place where you want to end up. Don’t short change yourself. Dream big. Your vision is about thriving not just surviving. Set your sights on what you really, truly want. It’s okay if your goals feel too big to even wrap your head around.  This is your vision. It’s the destination that’s off on the horizon. You don’t have to get there tomorrow, but you do want to be navigating in this direction. In the meantime, your focus is going to be on your feet.

A marathon is just a series of steps.

I began running marathons a few years ago. In the process, I’ve met a lot of people with incredible stories—women who went from not being able to walk two miles to running 26.2. Women who lost 100 plus pounds and changed their lives—inspiring stuff. But here’s the deal. They didn’t do it (and I didn’t run my first marathon) by simply going out and running 26.2 miles right away. We set our vision and then we put our trust in a series of actions and smaller goals—which we took one small step at a time. We ran a marathon by taking a first step. And then another. And then, as it got easier, a bunch more.

When I trained for that first marathon, I never looked farther ahead than the week I was in. It would have been too scary. I had no idea how I was going to run a marathon, but I could take on the challenge of that week’s training plan. When I got to the starting line in Portland, I didn’t think about mile 25 or mile 26 (I never do). I thought about the first mile.

Getting where you want to go doesn’t need to be overwhelming, and it shouldn’t add stress or overload to your already busy life. Set your GPS and then focus on where you are going to put your foot down next. Take steps—steps that are the size that work for you. As long as you keep your feet moving, and your GPS calibrated, you’ll be fine.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

“This is harder than I thought!”

If you are like many smart busy women I know, you tell yourself that making you a priority should be simple. But let’s be honest, with all that you have going on, it can be a real challenge.

I have a confession. When I created my Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off (how to put yourself first without feeling selfish), I knew it was something that was desperately needed, but I was not sure that those who need it most would let themselves have it. After all, you must say, “I’m worth it” to invest your time, energy, hope, and money into something that is just for you—even if the real investment required is just minutes each day for a week.

But I created this program anyway, because I know that if you can’t put yourself on your priority list, bad stuff happens.

• Your health suffers
• Your pants get tight
• You get cranky or sleep-deprived and a lot less fun to be around.

And no matter how much you spend on the next miracle solution for stress or weight loss or to help you make more money, it won’t work. Because you will still be stuck in the pattern of being too busy, too stressed, and too overwhelmed to give your priorities the attention they deserve.

I have a serious question for you. How many hundreds of dollars of unused “advice” do you have taking up space on your bookshelves, your bedside table, and on your computer because you just haven’t gotten around to reading or implementing the advice that you’ve learned?

For many of you, learning to put yourself first and finding out how to carve out the time for you is the missing piece.

In a few weeks, I’m going to release a new program to help you jump start your success with overeating and emotional eating. I’ve taken lots of your feedback and I think many of you are going to love what I’m going to share. It’s going to be simple and do-able and have the pieces you need to be effective. I can’t wait to share it with you.

But here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter how wonderful any program or product or expert is if you aren’t able to make good use of what is offered. No program works if you can never quite get around to focusing on you. Knowing how to put yourself first and honor your priorities is the first step towards any successful change. It’s critical.

I want to be helpful to you, but without this piece, my hands are tied. I truly believe that the Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off is the first step in making peace with your life, peace with food, or achieving your goals.

If you already know how to prioritize yourself, I am so happy for you–you know how key this is. If you are still struggling, NOW is the time to take action. I know, it’s something that is hard for you, but take the first step. Don’t try to skip it. Start building the foundation you need to really take on the world.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

If you are you a busy woman, a business owner, or mom with too much on your plate, here are three easy ways to start moving from stress and overload to ease, abundance, and success.

1. Set the tone. Your busy brain finds and collects the information that it’s looking for. If you want to spend your day focused on stress and overload, begin by worrying about what you haven’t done. Want more ease and calm? Set an attitude focused on accomplishment and positivity.  List three things you are grateful for before you even get out of bed and review three things that you WILL accomplish today. Put on music that inspires and create and live in positive energy.
2. Don’t ignore the food and don’t deprive yourself. Ease and calm require consistent fuel. Eat something for breakfast that has protein in it. This will tide you over much better than a bagel or a bowl of cereal or the nothing that you usually feed yourself. Give yourself a short deadline (two minutes is plenty) and decide NOW what you will have for lunch and dinner if you don’t already have a plan. Unmade decisions create stress. Hunger and low blood sugar lead to bad decisions and (often) overeating.
3. Slow down. Rushing, even when you are busy, rarely makes anyone more productive. Focus does. Hold on to your vision of ease and calm and your three priority tasks. Do one thing at a time. In a world of mutitasking and Twitter, giving your whole self over to a task can be grounding and even meditative. Really. Ask yourself throughout the day where you want to place your energy in this moment. Close down the other windows on your computer, let your phone go to voice mail, and let the other tasks wait until it is their turn. Enjoy the job you dive into, the feeling of undivided attention, the conversation you have while being fully present, and the lunch you get to savor.

This is the only life you are going to live today. Be in it.

How do you release stress and create calm and ease in your busy life? Share your thoughts and ideas by leaving a comment.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

The term “life balance” comes with a lot of baggage—especially to many women who are stressed and busy balancing work, family, relationships, and more. I’ve encountered everything from anger to extreme defensiveness when I’ve brought up the term.

More than one successful woman has told me “I don’t believe in life balance.” “Work-life balance is a myth,” and even, “balance isn’t possible–it just sets us up for failure.”

Gulp. Strong feelings. The idea of creating balance in a busy life is overwhelming, emotional, and feels like a dream for many.

I got my haircut last week and that meant leafing through some big, fat, ad-filled magazines that I don’t normally read. I reached for O and ended up reading Oprah’s interview with Mehmet Oz (Dr. Oz) in the December issue. They were chatting away, covering ground I am familiar with. Eating well, learning how to say, “No.” The importance of setting boundaries so that you can take care of yourself. And then Oprah fessed up. She offered Mehmet Oz “. . . some advice, even though I’m not taking it myself.”

Oprah went on to say that she believes it’s important to make a conscious decision to create balance in your life—but she’s not doing it. She even said she’s not making any more resolutions until she creates more balance for herself—and Dr. Oz says something like, “Well when you figure it out, let me know, because I don’t know how to do it either.”

If this is something that you struggle with, you are in good company.

Maybe it’s just me, but it all sounded a bit like lip service. Like these two incredibly influential people don’t really believe this whole balance thing is possible. It reads a bit like “yeah, right. Balance is nice, but if you want to  be successful….”

I may be wrong about this. Oprah and Mehmet, I’d love to hear from you.

If Dr. Oz and Oprah can’t figure it out, can you?

Of course you can.

First off, stop getting all tied up in knots about the concept.

I’ve heard the arguments. “Balance is always changing.” There is no “perfect” balance. “Rhythm” or “flow” are better words to use. “I don’t balance, I dance.”

Great. Here’s what I think. I believe that when most of us talk about “life balance (or whatever words we choose),” we’re speaking about creating a way of spending or budgeting our energy and time that feeds us and that is aligned with our priorities. Yes, it’s different for everyone. Go ahead and use whatever words you want. But rolling your eyes at the idea is really an expression of feeling stuck or powerless or (maybe) content with the way things are.

Some high-achievers hide their fear of being stuck or incapable by pretending they like things the way they are or by pretending that it’s silly to want anything different.

Are you living your best life? I believe that you were put on this earth to be your best, unique version of yourself. If you aren’t spending your energy and your time in a way that allows you to bring your gifts to the world, something is out of whack. That’s my belief and my litmus test for balance. You are free to have a different one.

Want to create better balance in your life? I absolutely believe that it’s possible. Of course, it’s usually not an instant, “snap your fingers” kind of shift, but there is almost always a way to make things work better.

If you want more ease, flow, or balance in your life, here are some ways to get started:

Stop believing (openly or secretly) that it’s impossible.  You may not have a clue how to get there, but that does not mean there is no way out of whatever trap you find yourself in.  Does Oprah believe she will ever be able to create that balance that she craves?  I really don’t know. It sure sounds like she knows that she’d benefit if she could achieve it. Most of us know that if our life worked better for us we’d sleep better or stress less or lose weight or whatever. But do we really believe it’s achievable? That’s the first step. Faith that your best life is out there and that it can include more of the good stuff that feeds your spirit and your soul is an essential key to creating balance and ease in your life.

Give yourself space to start figuring out what better balance looks like and feels like for you. That’s not always easy and there is no cookie cutter formula. It involves listening to yourself. Don’t worry about the big picture and how you are ever going to balance the bajillion things you have going on. That’s a trap that may overwhelm you and keep you stuck. Start small and do-able. You are creating a path, one step at a time. Tune in to the path and the steps you need to take by carving out me-time religiously—just like you make time for brushing your teeth, commit to making time for yourself. Don’t worry, you don’t have to take a weekend retreat on a deserted island. My Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off and my Success Soundtrack™ program show you how to make incredibly productive use out of just ten minutes of me-time a day.

Finally, don’t get freaked out when you don’t have the answers. Doing some things differently may mean that you are going to need to acquire some new tools or expertise to move forward. Give yourself permission to know where you want to go and seek out what you need to figure out the best way to get there.

And Oprah and Dr. Oz? I’d love to take a stab at helping you define your paths. You’ve got the potential to help so many even more than you already do. Please, please, please, don’t lose your faith in the possibility of a life that works better.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

Stop “not thinking about it.”

How often do you end up shoving your plans and priorities or even your thoughts and feelings to the back burner because there are so many other things you feel responsible for?

Guess what? “Not thinking about it” doesn’t work. It’s also a way of not taking yourself seriously.

I hear it all the time from clients:

“I don’t want to feel angry.”

“There’s nothing I can do about it so I eat.”

“I’m trying not to focus on it.”

Denying your thoughts and feelings is a major source of stress, a major cause of emotional eating, insomnia, procrastination, misplaced irritability and problems focusing.

Here’s another important piece of information (especially for all you high-achievers and perfectionists!):

Taking your thoughts and feelings seriously doesn’t mean you have to know what to “do about them.”

Too many of you are prolonging your stress and creating problems for yourself because you’ve decided—“It’s pointless to think about this because I can’t do anything about it.”

Important feelings and thoughts don’t go away just because you ignore them. Too often they build up, get tangled up around other issues, and trigger self-sabotaging behaviors like stress eating, comfort eating, avoidance, lack of motivation in other areas . . . you get the picture.

Here’s your bite-sized challenge for today. I want you to separate the process of acknowledging and respecting your feelings from the task of problem solving.

Today—right now if you can—start a list of everything that you are currently tolerating. Everything you can think of that is sub-optimal, isn’t working for you, is driving you crazy, causing you stress, distress, sadness, or just bugs you a teensy tiny bit.

Put it on a list. Nothing is too small or too outrageous. If it helps to compartmentalize, make separate lists. I have one for work and one for my personal life.  Start the list and add to it as things occur to you. Then watch what happens.

I’m going to predict at least two results.  Once you start noting things like this—actually writing them down—you are automatically paying more attention to your feelings or needs. This is the opposite of the head-in-the-sand approach. Take note of where it leads you. Most people find that noting what they are tolerating causes them to be more aware of what they want and what they don’t want. You’re also likely to find that simply putting some of these items on your list seems to lead to easy resolution. The truth is, sometimes the act of saying, “this doesn’t work for me.” Is enough to create change.

Make your list and see what happens. Leave a comment and share your experience.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery