If you are an over-achiever in the area of health and weight loss, it could easily be preventing the very goals that you are trying to achieve.

Are you ready to get off the diet roller coaster and create a blueprint for success with weight loss and peace with food?

Here are some tips for breaking the over-achieving cycle and creating a path for enduring change:

Start killing the myth that your constant activity is making you more effective and start to identify the price of being an overachiever. Here are some signs to look for: lack of focus, forgetfulness, feeling overwhelmed or stressed, stress eating, overeating at the end of the day (often because you feel too tired to do anything else), starting and quitting one weight loss plan after another, feeling like nothing works for you, a feeling of stress or overwhelm when you think about attempting to take control of your eating.

Be selective about experts and mentors. Start by asking yourself what you already know about your eating and your struggles and what kind of help you are looking for. Remind yourself what you already know about what works—and doesn’t work—for you. Remember, you have more wisdom about yourself than anyone else. Find an expert, mentor, or plan that respects what YOU know and asks you to access your own wisdom—often. Choose one plan or expert to follow and don’t blindly follow anything.

Carve out time to do nothing. Practice breaking the over-achieving cycle and creating breathing space in your life. When we are busy doing, we aren’t really able to tune in and listen to ourselves. When we aren’t doing that, we aren’t able to stay well connected to what we really need. When we aren’t getting what we need, emotional eating is an all-too-easy way to fill in the gaps.  Learn to listen to yourself and to identify what you are really craving (the things you need that aren’t food).

Take on one plan and one do-able change at a time. More is not always better. Often, more is overwhelming and won’t last. Pick lifestyle changes or new ways of eating that are do-able and that work with your life—one at a time. Beware of the voice that tells you you “aren’t doing enough.” Change that feels easy is change that you can stick with and build on. Look for (or create) a plan that allows you to make changes with small structured steps.

Take good care,

Are you an emotional eater ready to make these changes in your life? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series starts soon. This six week program is all about creating a lasting blueprint for successfully taking control of emotional eating—in a do-able way that fits with your unique life. You can find out all about the program here.

Before you try the latest idea, here’s a question to consider: Do you need more weight loss wisdom, or is over-achieving actually making weight loss harder? In your quest to achieve success, are you creating overload and overwhelming yourself? It’s an important question, because this can create a big overeating and weight trap for busy women with high expectations.

I recently heard a great comment from someone about overwhelm. She said that even accessing the highest quality help, information, and ideas can feel like being hit by an avalanche if we have too much of it.  If you’ll excuse a food-related metaphor: when the portion is too big, even the best help isn’t digestible. And yet, if you are someone who expects a lot from yourself, you are likely to be haunted by a question that can get you into trouble:

“What else can I do?” or “What should I be doing?”

Are you always adding to your weight loss to-do list? Taking action is a strategy that we use to be effective when we feel out of control. And while taking action is the first step in creating success, taking too many actions creates overwhelm. Are you falling into this trap?

Here are some signs that you are an over-achieving emotional eater:

• Are you an emotional eater who has a bedside table heaped with the latest books on the topic?
• Do you know so much about nutrition and weight loss science that you can’t make a decision about what to eat anymore—because you’ve heard so much contradictory advice?
• Do your attempts to lose weight turn into life overhauls and plans for change that quickly overwhelm you and that feel much too hard to stick with?
• When you finish a task or arrive at a “pause” in your day, do you automatically ask, “what should I do now?”
• Do you have a hard time doing nothing?
• In spite of all your effort, are you feeling stuck or ineffective when it comes to losing weight or eating the way that is best for you?

Over-achieving causes overwhelm. It increases the overall level of stress in your life. If you are an over-achiever in the area of health and weight loss, it could easily be preventing the very goals that you are trying to achieve. Women who are trapped in a cycle of constant activity and “always doing more” end up being exhausted and less productive in the long run. Not only do overwhelm and stress lead to overeating for many women, there’s another problem with over-achieving: constant activity can keep you from seeing the real solution.

Here’s what happens when we over-achieve. We can get so focused on “getting it right” and “figuring it out” that we aim all our energy in the wrong direction and we create a cycle of working very hard but not getting anywhere. That’s what yo-yo dieters are experiencing. They are caught up in a cycle of taking drastic action to lose weight, but they are so busy “achieving” that they haven’t created a blueprint that will allow them to create lasting success.

Stay tuned for my next post. I’m going to share my tips for how to break out of the over-achiever cycle and create a path for change that will last–and not burn you out!

Take good care,

Are you an emotional eater ready to make these changes in your life? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series starts soon. This six week program is all about creating a lasting blueprint for successfully taking control of emotional eating—in a do-able way that fits with your unique life. You can find out all about the program here.

I love spring and associate it with freshness and renewal and beginnings. Unfortunately, many women I talk to associate it with bathing suit shopping, and pressures to shape up and lose weight. Right now, they are starting to prepare for another disappointing ride on the diet roller coaster (you know–the ride with lots of ups and downs where you always end up right where you started). There really is a better way. Please know, that if you are tired of struggling with overeating or emotional eating, there is a way out that doesn’t involve going through the vicious cycle or the endless yo-yo dieting that you may feel trapped in.

Just in time for spring, I’m offering a free teleseminar with a big title: Get Back In the Driver’s Seat With Overeating, Binge Eating and Emotional Eating: How to Stop Struggling and Make Peace With Food

Here’s the agenda:

• Find out why diets don’t work and the missing ingredient you need to be effective
• Learn how to identify what you are really craving (if you are overeating—it’s not food) and the problem with “food rules”
• Discover what you should be paying attention to that you probably aren’t
• Learn how you can create your own customized blueprint for making peace with food—once and for all

… and much more.

You’ll also be the first to hear about the new session of the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series, which kicks off  May 11, 2010 and some of the new benefits that I’ve added.

This free teleseminar that takes place Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 3pm Pacific, 4pm Mountain, 5pm Central, and 6pm Eastern. You’ll want to be live on the call so that you can get your questions answered, however, if you can’t make it, you’ll still want to register. The call will be recorded and all who register will receive access to the recording. Teleseminars are easy to attend. You just dial in on the long distance number you will be provided when you register (you will be responsible for any long distance calls). You’ll be given an access code and instructed to punch it in and then you’ll join us on the line. I’ll definitely be taking your questions throughout the call.

Just go here to save your seat.

Take good care,

Diets and food plans don’t take into consideration the many factors that motivate us to eat.  They don’t address our complex appetites and hungers.  Sometimes it’s actually physical hunger—a need for fuel—that triggers our desire to eat, but many of us also reach for food for other reasons–when life gets demanding or we get tired or we just don’t feel quite “right.”

Overeating and weight gain occur when we use food to try to fill or make up for unaddressed gaps or needs in the rest of our lives.  Sometimes we know we are eating in response to a need that isn’t really hunger, and sometimes, our tendency to feed our feelings and other needs with food is so ingrained, that we don’t even think about it.  If we’ve spent a long time learning to address needs and feelings with food, over time we may actually experience a “physical” sensation of hunger instead of feeling nervous, lonely, bored or needy.

Taking control of overeating requires taking a close look at the rest of your life and making sure that you are getting what you need.  Ignored or unfed needs and feelings increase the chances that you will find yourself standing at the refrigerator with a craving that just won’t go away.  The craving won’t go away because using food to feed it doesn’t really address the real need or the problem.  It might push it away for awhile, but I guarantee you, the issue, and the “hunger,” will come back.

So–are you living a well-balanced life? Are you feeding your mind, your body, and your spirit? It is much easier to avoid the munchies if you are feeding yourself in these  high quality ways:

Hungers that lead to emotional eating and overeating:

Hunger for rest

Many Americans, especially women, don’t get enough sleep.  Research shows that insufficient sleep contributes to weight gain—and get this—at least some of the weight gain is not related to how many  calories are eaten!  Lack of sleep also triggers physiological mechanisms that lead to increased appetite and cravings for high-carbohydrate and high-calorie foods.  Sleep deprivation affects brain chemistry which impacts how hungry we are and the kind of foods we crave.  This one is a no-brainer. If you aren’t feeding your hunger for rest, you are behind before you start.

Hunger for connection

Remember social studies class?  Humans are social beings.  We need other people.  Connection comes in the form of close relationships, support, feeling understood and listened to, companionship, physical touch and connection, and shared experiences (tears, laughter, even being bored together).

If we don’t have enough connection, we may attempt to cope by telling ourselves we don’t really need it.  Low self esteem, weight struggles, and self-blame can all lead to isolation.  If we’re busy or tired or stressed, it’s easy to convince ourselves that we just don’t have the energy to connect with others (and we might not—one unfed life area tends to snowball into others pretty quickly).

Eating out of loneliness is a major trigger for over eating, and, as lonely people often realize, loneliness is not always a feeling that has a “quick fix.”  Our social connections take time to develop and they require nurturing, so take an inventory of how well you are consistently feeding and caring for the growth of connections in your life.  Don’t get discouraged if you aren’t where you want to be.  Think about what small seed you could plant today to start to increase your connectedness with others.

Sensory hunger

Taste is just one of the senses we need to feed. We vary in our specific hungers for sights, smells, sound, and touch.  Whatever your appetites, you’ll do yourself a favor if you learn how to feed all your senses.

It’s no accident that beauty is sometimes referred to as a “visual feast.”  Our need for beauty might involve exposure to art or nature, attention to color in our homes, our clothes, or a new lipstick color.  How much physical sensation do you have in your life?  Think about physical touch and intimacy, but also think about whether you have experiences of day-to-day pleasure in your body.  Do you dance or feel the sun on your face or get a massage or enjoy a great shoulder stretch after a day at the computer?  These are all ways of feeding your sense of touch.  What about sound?  Music is a great mood regulator.  Others need a break from sound—quality quiet time.  And don’t forget about smell.  Our sense of smell is closely tied to taste and it’s important not to neglect it.  Savor the aroma of the food you do eat.  Breath deep when you go outdoors, explore great smelling herbal teas that envelope you with their heat and their aroma.  Invest in lotion that smells fantastic.

Hunger for growth

A fundamental part of being alive is continuing to evolve and transform. We have a real need to keep improving, growing or working towards becoming the people we are meant to be.  The opposite of growth is stagnation, which the dictionary defines as “becoming sluggish and dull; ceasing to flow; or becoming stale or foul.”  Not an appealing picture is it?

Is personal growth on your priority list? Do you try new things and stretch outside of your comfort zone a bit? Do you come in contact with new people, new thoughts, new activities or ideas? Do you have goals and plans for the future—that have nothing to do with your eating your your weight? Feeding a hunger for growth means allowing yourself time, opportunity and resources to nurture your goals and dreams.  It means, at times, thinking outside of the boundaries of your day-to-day life.  How are you doing in this area? Can you enhance your growth in one small way?

Hunger for play and fun

It sounds so easy, but for many, making sure they have enough play and fun in their life can be difficult. When we have a lot of important responsibilities it can be tempting to let play and fun fall off the priority list.  We can also get so focused on making sure everyone else gets their plan and fun in (we almost always get the kids to soccer practice don’t we?) that we convince ourselves there just isn’t time for our needs.  People who don’t get enough play and fun usually fall into one of two categories.  Either they don’t think about play and fun very often and their “fun muscles” are rusty—they can’t list 5-10 activities they really love without REALLY thinking about it, OR they have a long list of things they love but aren’t being successful at carving out the time for themselves.

Both are a problem. The hunger is real, and it doesn’t go away.  In the short run, it might feel like “treating yourself” with a snack is easier then figuring out how to fit more fun in, but in the end, it won’t eliminate the craving—at least not for long.

The good news is that weight loss success is not necessarily about deprivation.  A powerful tool in the battle to curb overeating involves learning to give ourselves more of what we truly need. Creating a well-fed, well-balanced life is not always easy and we can’t always do it perfectly—but most of us can do a better job than we are doing now.  Even if we don’t know where to start, being able to clearly define the unfed needs, the REAL hungers that we could take better care of, is a huge step.   Once we start to learn what we are really hungry for, we can start to tackle the problem head on. That’s the kind of process that leads to enduring change and lasting weight loss.

Take good care,

Here’s what I see. Too often, women gloss over the idea of understanding what is going on with their relationship with food. They look at a checklist and determine that they are an emotional eater, make a quick note of it, and then move on to planning what they will do differently in the future. This time (they tell themselves), they will eat salad for lunch. They won’t snack after dinner, and they will go to the gym on a regular basis. They fail to create a plan to address the real root cause of their overeating.

Planning feels productive and it makes most of us feel effective and in charge. I don’t have anything against plans—as long as they address the root cause that has propeled the problems with food, weight, and overeating in the past.

Too often women shame themselves into thinking that they are “making this too complicated.” They deny themselves the help and support and solutions that could maximize their effectiveness and minimize their struggle because they don’t feel “deserving” or because they have difficulties investing in themselves and making their goals a priority.

Quite simply, many of the women I encounter have a long history of trying very hard to change their relationship with food without the resources they need. No wonder they feel tired, discouraged, unmotivated and skeptical. They’ve been trying to create major life change on a shoestring—and a frazzled one at that.

So here’s the question (and the challenge) of the day: This topic speaks to you, or you wouldn’t have read as far as you already have. When it comes to getting to the root of the cause of your emotional eating or overeating, are you on the premium plan or are you trying to squeak by with the economy, super-saver-free-trial offer? Be honest with yourself. If you aren’t finding the success that you want, it’s cheap and easy (albeit painful) to beat yourself up emotionally for a lack of results.  Does this add to your effectiveness? Not one bit. The alternative that could? Upgrading your attention to the roots.

Ready to make a change? Here’s the challenge: If you were to upgrade your weeding strategy and really address the root cause of your struggles with food, what would that look like? What would you do differently? What new tools would you want to use? What help would you ask for? What resources would you engage?

What step can you commit to taking today?

Take good care,

The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series combines my 28 Day structured and self-guided program with the accountability, motivation, strategies and tips provided in six weekly teleseminars. We’re starting a new session soon. Find out more here.

Here’s the truth. Making successful changes with your eating and your lifestyle requires paying attention to the head game. You can develop all the menus you want, precut and bag your veggies,  and stock up on fruit and protein powder until the cows come home, but if you don’t understand what is driving your eating, what led to any extra pounds you are trying to lose, what contributed to your last attempt at weight loss not working out so well, why the chocolate calls so loudly to you every evening, or why you typically regain any weight that you lose, your efforts aren’t going to pay off the way that you want them to. At least, not in a way that lasts.

Trying to lose weight or “get healthy” by going on a diet is like weeding a garden by chopping the leaves off the weeds. It doesn’t work. If you want to solve either problem in an enduring way, you must deal with the root.

The root is how the weed gets nourishment. With overeating and emotional eating, the root is the real, underlying reason that compels you to overeat or eat differently than you want to and than your wise self tells you that you should. If you don’t identify and figure out how to address the root cause of your overeating, emotional eating, and your battles with food or weight, the chance that these issues will always come back is pretty high.

Dealing with the root is not always quick, simple, or sexy. But it IS fundamentally important. And though it may seem like an overwhelming proposition, the truth is that if you allow yourself the proper tools to do the work involved, it doesn’t need to be a STRUGGLE.

To be continued….

Take good care,

Want to move forward? Looking for a plan to address the root of your emotional eating or overeating? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series kicks off soon. Go here to learn more and to snap up some great bonuses just for signing up.

The topic this month:

Emotional Eating and Overeating: What You Need To Know So That They Don’t Sabotage Your Weight Loss Plan

Did you know that emotional eating can be an issue for you and you might not even know it? Or that slowing down and paying attention to emotional eating can help you identify additional triggers that may be fueling your appetite, slowing down your metabolism and sabotaging your weight loss attempts? Join me for this free teleseminar on Tuesday, February 9 at 3pm Pacific/6pm Eastern and you’ll hear:

• What you need to know about overeating that no diet will address

• Why most dieters fail

• The most powerful tool you can use to create permanent weight loss and changes in your relationship with food

… and much more.  I’m also going to be providing information about the upcoming Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series which begins this month.

You can register and get all the information for the free call here.

Take good care,

That’s what I covered in my most recent Smart Women’s Teleseminar this week:

Ending Emotional Eating and Overeating Struggles–The Important Step Even Smart Women Skip

I covered some important ground on this call, including some very powerful questions to ask yourself.  I’ve seen these questions make a tremendous difference for other women and for some, answering them has changed their weight loss journey entirely.

Curious yet?  These questions aren’t about food or calories or even exercise, but I’ll tell you, if you are missing the “secret sauce” ingredient I’m talking about, you won’t be nearly as likely to succeed with weight loss.

The call also contains information about our current programs and special limited discounts for the Smart Choices Success Circle Mastermind Community and my 6 week Smart Women’s Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Coaching Groups (yes, I am doing another specialized group just for women who have had weight loss surgery).

So, in case you were on vacation or just missed the call, you can still access the recording.

Take good care,

Melissa

It’s great stuff.  And each time I sit down to write about one portion of it, I feel like I’m leaving something out.  You deserve the full meal deal.

Knowledge is power and there is a lot of knowledge in this book.  The more we know about how food influences us, the more we are able to make conscious choices about how and what we eat. As Kessler points out, awareness of the factors that drive us to overeat and to crave foods that are high in sugar, fat, and salt is the first essential step in breaking the cycle and creating a new relationship with food.

Knowledge also helps us let go of inaccurate and unhelpful guilt and self blame.  The truth is, there are important reasons that Americans weigh more and eat more than ever.

How to make time to digest all this helpful information when you’re already very busy?  Here’s what I did.  I listened to the unabridged version on CD while I was driving. This is a listen (and a read) that I highly recommend.

Take good care,

Melissa

April is Emotional Overeating Awareness month and to commemorate this, I’m offering a free teleclass to answer your questions about how to take control of emotional eating and struggles with food, weight and healthy lifestyle.

The teleseminar will take place on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 at noon Pacific and 3pm Eastern.

Creating change isn’t automatic and it isn’t always easy. However, it DOESN’T need to be a struggle. Join me for this free teleseminar where I’ll answer your questions about how to end emotional eating battles and make peace with food—once and for all. Just go here to register and submit your question.