Too Much on Her Plate

Follow Me

• 
• 
• 
• 

 

Are You Tired of Riding on the Diet Rollercoaster? Free Teleseminar

August 24th, 2010, No Comments »

Are you one of the many smart, successful, high-achieving women who is BEYOND tired of struggling with food, weight, and overeating—sick-to-death of diets and plans that don’t work out–and are you feeling like you “should” have gotten a handle on this by now?

You are not alone. Heck, look at Oprah (and I mean this with complete compassion).

The truth is that these struggles—which often have their roots in emotional eating and overeating—are major issues for success-oriented women, and unfortunately, they don’t get talked about nearly enough. This means that too many women are suffering needlessly, suffering alone, and feeling bad about the whole thing.

If this is “your struggle,” please know this: it’s not about finding the right “diet” (there is no right diet), it’s about getting to the root and creating a solution that lasts.

Next week I’m giving a free teleseminar to address this very important issue:

The Secret to Ending Emotional Eating & Overeating Battles

In this no-cost teleseminar, which you can attend by phone, via the internet, or by listening to the call recording, I will cover:

• Three reasons women get stuck in battles with food and what to do about it
• Three reasons diets don’t work
• The cost of overeating and emotional eating (it’s not just about weight)
• A formula for making peace with food, taking back control, and taking charge of emotional eating and overeating—for good

. . . and much more (but no diet talk). You’ll also hear the details about the Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series which begins in September.

The teleseminar takes place:
September 1, 2010 at 2pm Pacific, 5pm Eastern. You’ll want to be on the call live so that you can participate and get your questions answered, but if you can’t make the call, please register anyway. The call will be recorded and all who register will receive access to the recording. Just go here to save your spot: http://toomuchonherplate.com/free-teleseminar/

I hope to “see” you on the call.

Take good care,

Could You Use a Detox—For Your Brain or Your Life?

July 12th, 2010, No Comments »

It’s the bane of the high-achieving woman—you probably never run out of things to do—or ideas about what you could be doing. Sometimes it’s fun. Creative high-achievers tend to be talented at creating work they love. But the constant doing can also work against you and lead to a decrease in your productivity, your focus, your energy, and your passion.

Too many ideas in your head can even prevent you from taking action because you feel overloaded or confused about where to start.

• Is your head too full?
• Do you have a hard time stopping—even when you know you need to?
• Have you sought out so much advice that you feel like you know “too much” and can’t even find a place to begin amidst all the rules and wisdom you’ve acquired?
• Do you know that you need to do to relax, reduce your stress, or refocus but you aren’t sure how to stop your life long enough to do it?
• Do you have a pile of books or an in-box full of recordings that you feel like you need to listen to before you can move forward?

Then you could probably use a detox. Not a nutritional cleanse, but a process for clearing out the gunk in your head space—the garbage that’s overwhelming you, throwing you off track, or keeping your life so full of “shoulds” that it’s hard to work on the motivation to do any of it.

Luckily, you don’t need a week at a spa to embark on a mental detox. Here are some steps you can take today to start cleaning out your brain.

1. Examine the junk that’s weighing you down. Take a look at what’s swirling around in your mind. Sometimes the thought of cleaning out a messy closet is so overwhelming, that we just avoid opening the door. It can be the same with our thoughts and the expectations that we hold for ourselves. One symptom of overwhelm can be a tendency to avoid your thoughts—overeating, or choosing mind-numbing activities instead. Grab your courage, take a deep breath and a clean pad of paper. Set the timer for 15 minutes. Now write down all the gunk that’s in your head. This includes everything you feel you need to be doing, the expectations you have for yourself (these usually start with “I should”), the unhelpful stories you are telling yourself (these often begin with “I can’t” or “I don’t” or “I never”) and anything else that feels like it’s mucking up your life. Get it out of your brain and put it on paper. Now get a different colored pen and circle the ones you want to keep.
2. Create your own clarity. Get a clean piece of paper. Take another deep breath. This time, ignore all the “shoulds” and the rules and write down what you know to be true of you. Write down what you know about what you need to be successful, to be fueled, and to be at your best. I’ll give you an example. A client who is coaching with me to take charge of emotional eating and to lose some weight was feeling lost about how to approach her upcoming vacation. She felt like she “should” continue with the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ program she had started. She felt like she “should” be writing in her journal and meditating. She was worried about overeating on vacation and gaining weight. She was also worried that she would drive her partner up the wall talking about what to eat and worrying about getting things “right.” I asked her what else she knew. She knew she desperately needed and wanted to relax and that if she gave herself permission, she could actually do so on this week-long trip. She knew that she was already automatically using many of the tools in the emotional eating program—when she was present and relaxed. She knew that the more she got wrapped up in “getting her eating right,” the more she was going to overeat and binge and not savor the foods she was looking forward to. She also knew that there are certain foods that her body doesn’t handle well and that she needs to avoid them to feel her best, and that to do this successfully, she needs a game plan and a few minutes every morning to connect with herself and get her head on straight. What my client knew and what you know about yourself, is the starting place for creating your best plan and deciding what you need and what you can let go of.
3. Start the detox process. Go back to your first list. What can you let go of? For now. What parts of those swirling thoughts in your head  a) aren’t a priority and don’t need to be addressed NOW, b) are unhelpful or are confusing or otherwise getting in your way, 3) don’t fit your mission, your purpose, or who you are—today (hint—many of these things may be a part of someone else’s agenda, but not yours). Cross them off. For now. Be sure to look for mindsets and beliefs that you can let go of as well. As my client reviewed her list, she easily saw a number of things that she didn’t want on her agenda during the next week. She also quickly realized that perfectionism, and her expectation that she needed to perform at a certain level, was sucking the joy (and the benefit) from several key activities in her life. On top of that, the expectation that to be successful she had to be perfect was keeping her stalled and unable to move forward on a number of things.
4. Rinse and repeat. Overwhelm comes back. That’s okay, it’s one of the hallmarks of a rich full life. The key is having strategies to handle it when it happens. A periodic detox can be just the ticket for rebalancing a life or a brain that’s gotten too full.

Take good care,

Is Being “Productive” Sabotaging Your Weight Loss Plan? A Smarter Approach for Busy, Over-achieving Women

April 28th, 2010, No Comments »

If you are an over-achiever in the area of health and weight loss, it could easily be preventing the very goals that you are trying to achieve. Women who are trapped in a cycle of constant activity and “always doing more” end up being exhausted and less productive. Looking for the “perfect” solution and struggling to make changes that don’t fit with your needs and your life can create stress and overwhelm and can even trigger more emotional eating and emotional eating.

Are you ready to get off the diet roller coaster and create a blueprint for success with weight loss and peace with food?

Here are some tips for breaking the over-achieving cycle and creating a path for enduring change:

Start killing the myth that your constant activity is making you more effective and start to identify the price of being an overachiever. Here are some signs to look for: lack of focus, forgetfulness, feeling overwhelmed or stressed, stress eating, overeating at the end of the day (often because you feel too tired to do anything else), starting and quitting one weight loss plan after another, feeling like nothing works for you, a feeling of stress or overwhelm when you think about attempting to take control of your eating.

Be selective about experts and mentors. Start by asking yourself what you already know about your eating and your struggles and what kind of help you are looking for. Remind yourself what you already know about what works—and doesn’t work—for you. Remember, you have more wisdom about yourself than anyone else. Find an expert, mentor, or plan that respects what YOU know and asks you to access your own wisdom—often. Choose one plan or expert to follow and don’t blindly follow anything.

Carve out time to do nothing. Practice breaking the over-achieving cycle and creating breathing space in your life. When we are busy doing, we aren’t really able to tune in and listen to ourselves. When we aren’t doing that, we aren’t able to stay well connected to what we really need. When we aren’t getting what we need, emotional eating is an all-too-easy way to fill in the gaps.  Learn to listen to yourself and to identify what you are really craving (the things you need that aren’t food).

Take on one plan and one do-able change at a time. More is not always better. Often, more is overwhelming and won’t last. Pick lifestyle changes or new ways of eating that are do-able and that work with your life—one at a time. Beware of the voice that tells you you “aren’t doing enough.” Change that feels easy is change that you can stick with and build on. Look for (or create) a plan that allows you to make changes with small structured steps.

Take good care,

Are you an emotional eater ready to make these changes in your life? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series starts soon. This six week program is all about creating a lasting blueprint for successfully taking control of emotional eating—in a do-able way that fits with your unique life. You can find out all about the program here.

Are You an Over-achieving Emotional Eater?

April 26th, 2010, 1 Comment »

If you are a stress eater or struggle with emotional eating of any kind, you know how frustrating it can be. Emotional overeating is one of the primary reasons it can be so hard to achieve weight loss that lasts—and ongoing weight loss battles are a huge energy drain. The weight loss industry is a big business, and there are plenty of plans, approaches, and “experts” out there, willing to “help you” in the search for a slimming solution that lasts.

Before you try the latest idea, here’s a question to consider: Do you need more weight loss wisdom, or is over-achieving actually making weight loss harder? In your quest to achieve success, are you creating overload and overwhelming yourself? It’s an important question, because this can create a big overeating and weight trap for busy women with high expectations.

I recently heard a great comment from someone about overwhelm. She said that even accessing the highest quality help, information, and ideas can feel like being hit by an avalanche if we have too much of it.  If you’ll excuse a food-related metaphor: when the portion is too big, even the best help isn’t digestible. And yet, if you are someone who expects a lot from yourself, you are likely to be haunted by a question that can get you into trouble:

“What else can I do?” or “What should I be doing?”

Are you always adding to your weight loss to-do list? Taking action is a strategy that we use to be effective when we feel out of control. And while taking action is the first step in creating success, taking too many actions creates overwhelm. Are you falling into this trap?

Here are some signs that you are an over-achieving emotional eater:

• Are you an emotional eater who has a bedside table heaped with the latest books on the topic?
• Do you know so much about nutrition and weight loss science that you can’t make a decision about what to eat anymore—because you’ve heard so much contradictory advice?
• Do your attempts to lose weight turn into life overhauls and plans for change that quickly overwhelm you and that feel much too hard to stick with?
• When you finish a task or arrive at a “pause” in your day, do you automatically ask, “what should I do now?”
• Do you have a hard time doing nothing?
• In spite of all your effort, are you feeling stuck or ineffective when it comes to losing weight or eating the way that is best for you?

Over-achieving causes overwhelm. It increases the overall level of stress in your life. If you are an over-achiever in the area of health and weight loss, it could easily be preventing the very goals that you are trying to achieve. Women who are trapped in a cycle of constant activity and “always doing more” end up being exhausted and less productive in the long run. Not only do overwhelm and stress lead to overeating for many women, there’s another problem with over-achieving: constant activity can keep you from seeing the real solution.

Here’s what happens when we over-achieve. We can get so focused on “getting it right” and “figuring it out” that we aim all our energy in the wrong direction and we create a cycle of working very hard but not getting anywhere. That’s what yo-yo dieters are experiencing. They are caught up in a cycle of taking drastic action to lose weight, but they are so busy “achieving” that they haven’t created a blueprint that will allow them to create lasting success.

Stay tuned for my next post. I’m going to share my tips for how to break out of the over-achiever cycle and create a path for change that will last–and not burn you out!

Take good care,

Are you an emotional eater ready to make these changes in your life? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series starts soon. This six week program is all about creating a lasting blueprint for successfully taking control of emotional eating—in a do-able way that fits with your unique life. You can find out all about the program here.

Free Teleseminar: Get Back In the Driver’s Seat With Overeating, Binge Eating and Emotional Eating: How to Stop Struggling and Make Peace With Food

April 12th, 2010, No Comments »

Spring Smart Woman’s Teleseminar: Register Now

I love spring and associate it with freshness and renewal and beginnings. Unfortunately, many women I talk to associate it with bathing suit shopping, and pressures to shape up and lose weight. Right now, they are starting to prepare for another disappointing ride on the diet roller coaster (you know–the ride with lots of ups and downs where you always end up right where you started). There really is a better way. Please know, that if you are tired of struggling with overeating or emotional eating, there is a way out that doesn’t involve going through the vicious cycle or the endless yo-yo dieting that you may feel trapped in.

Just in time for spring, I’m offering a free teleseminar with a big title: Get Back In the Driver’s Seat With Overeating, Binge Eating and Emotional Eating: How to Stop Struggling and Make Peace With Food

Here’s the agenda:

• Find out why diets don’t work and the missing ingredient you need to be effective
• Learn how to identify what you are really craving (if you are overeating—it’s not food) and the problem with “food rules”
• Discover what you should be paying attention to that you probably aren’t
• Learn how you can create your own customized blueprint for making peace with food—once and for all

… and much more.

You’ll also be the first to hear about the new session of the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series, which kicks off  May 11, 2010 and some of the new benefits that I’ve added.

This free teleseminar that takes place Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 3pm Pacific, 4pm Mountain, 5pm Central, and 6pm Eastern. You’ll want to be live on the call so that you can get your questions answered, however, if you can’t make it, you’ll still want to register. The call will be recorded and all who register will receive access to the recording. Teleseminars are easy to attend. You just dial in on the long distance number you will be provided when you register (you will be responsible for any long distance calls). You’ll be given an access code and instructed to punch it in and then you’ll join us on the line. I’ll definitely be taking your questions throughout the call.

Just go here to save your seat.

Take good care,

Help for Emotional Eaters Who Have Had Weight Loss Surgery

April 5th, 2010, No Comments »

Many people have asked me over the years why I work with women who’ve had weight loss surgery.  I’ve not had bariatric surgery myself.  What I have done, is spend my entire professional life working with women who struggle with their eating and with their weight.

As a psychologist, I’ve seen all sorts of outcomes after weight loss surgery—including seeing women who invested their heart, soul, and a good deal of money, only to find themselves still struggling with weight and overeating.  I’ve known too many women who felt guilty, lost hope, and even blamed themselves (which only makes the problem worse).

If you are someone who has had a bariatric procedure,  you’ve heard that bariatric surgery is only a tool. What I remind my clients is that it’s also only ONE tool. Weight loss surgery isn’t the complete tool kit. Creating peace with food often takes more than a physical procedure.  It requires learning how to use a whole new set of tools to address the emotional reasons that trigger many women to turn to food—stress, boredom, frustration—even a need for comfort or a need to celebrate.

For those of you who have had weight loss surgery of any type and continue to struggle with emotional eating and overeating, I have an exciting new resource for you.  I’ve just released the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Bonus Series for Women After Weight Loss Surgery. This use-at-home, self-guided program includes the original Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program plus all the bonus material, activities, special topic coaching and information that was shared in my original, live  Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Program for Women After Weight Loss Surgery. I no longer offer this program live, but you can now have all the materials, tools, templates, Master Schedules, and six hours of information and inspiration-packed down-loadable seminars.  You can find all the information here.

Emotional eating after weight loss surgery is such an important issue. Please share this information with others who might benefit.

Take good care,

Gold Medal Excuse Number One: “I don’t have time!”

March 2nd, 2010, 1 Comment »

Gold Medal Excuses: Emotional Eating and Success Traps

“I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date.” ~ The March Hare

Here’s a question I am commonly asked: How do I prioritize when I truly have too much to do? When you run a company called Too Much On Her Plate, women email you their to-do lists. Really. And you women are BUSY.

I hear about the businesses you are running and the demanding careers that you have, the aging parents and growing children you are caring for, the relationships and household demands, the health concerns, and the late nights. Many of you see the link clearly between the overwhelming demands of your life and the stress and comfort eating, the weight gain, the lack of energy to exercise, and the difficulty getting where you want to go with your personal goals. And you are feeling frustrated because you don’t know what to do and don’t have the time to think about it or start doing anything differently.

I have news. This problem almost never solves itself. Time will never just show up—and honestly, if it does, you’ll probably find yourself so glad to have it that you just collapse into it and don’t really use it in a way that will benefit you. If you want to get off the hamster wheel, you are going to have to CLAIM some time.

Claiming time means that for now (not forever), you say no to something else in order to claim some time for you. It doesn’t have to be a week. It might be ten minutes. If it is, that’s a great start. Ten minutes devoted just to you and your goal may be more than you gave yourself yesterday. So claim it. Write it in your schedule. Decide in advance what you will do with it. Somebody just emailed me that she purchased my Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program but hasn’t had enough time to do it. Ten minutes a day won’t get it done in 28 days, but it WILL move her forward.

Write this down: Taking ten minutes counts.

Here’s the thing:

Action (even ten minutes) perpetuates action. Getting started—whatever your goal—is a momentous step and just that one act will get you over a hurdle.

Once you learn to carve out ten minutes and really leverage that time you are likely to see what ten minutes can accomplish. Many of us dismiss small actions as “not enough.” When we do that, we stay stuck. I bet you will find ten minute pockets in other places you haven’t been looking—on your commute, before the kids get up, while you are waiting for your computer to start up or your tea to brew. You may also start to see ways you can claim bigger chunks of time (wait until you see what you can do in 20 minutes).

Claiming the time you need for yourself and spending it on activity that is meaningful to you is rejuvenating. People who take regular breaks and who get the self care that they need have more energy.  They are more focused and accomplish more in less time. Claiming time will pay you back in ways that may surprise you.

Looking for time to claim will lead you to be more aware of how you spend your time—maybe not the big chunks of activity, but all the small pieces. It’s amazing the amount of time we give away to things that aren’t important, that we don’t really want to do, or to boredom, procrastination, or even difficulty getting started.

Don’t let not having time be an excuse. Set the timer and claim ten minutes. Today.

Take good care,

The Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series: So What’s It Really About?

February 17th, 2010, No Comments »

The next session of the  Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series kicks off next Tuesday, February 23.

I’ve received a number of inquiries about the program and a number of requests for more information about the following:

What kind of results do people get from participating in this program?

It’s a pretty reasonable question and  I realized that I needed to do a better job of answering it.  Because the program really helps you examine YOUR individual situation and work at the pace that works with YOUR life, results vary widely and I’m not sure that there are “typical” results. It’s hard to measure the kind of changes that happen in this program. That said, here are some things you can expect and examples of what others have reported:

• You can expect to get really clear on the root of your struggles with food and overeating. That means getting clear on the things you are REALLY craving and needing (many of them aren’t really food).
• You can expect to learn how to stop blaming or being hard on yourself and how to use more effective strategies to move forward.
• You can expect to learn how to put a stop to the eating that feels out of control or over the top–not by depriving yourself but by using another strategy that REALLY addresses your needs.
• You can expect to learn how to stop getting stuck in the same old places, how to overcome self sabotage, and how to figure out what to do INSTEAD of emotional eating.

Here are some examples of what past participants have reported:

• They figured out that their eating really wasn’t senseless–there was a purpose to it. Once they understood this, they were able to address the REASON for the overeating directly–find a BETTER strategy for dealing with the reason–and get out of the overeating trap.
• They learned how to stop boredom eating (and how to address the boredom). The same can be said for stress eating, anxious eating, comfort eating, etc.
• They started using new tools to stop stress eating at work and to stop overeating the treats people were bringing into the office.
• They got better at saying “no” to things they didn’t want to do that were triggering overeating.
• They developed a plan for night eating, snacking and bingeing.
• They realized that they needed tools for coping with anger and started building better ways of responding instead of eating out of frustration.
• They developed new strategies for rewarding themselves that didn’t involve food.

I could keep going, but I hope you get the idea.

I can’t tell you exactly what YOUR experience would be with the Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series, but I can tell you that if you put in the effort and complete the program, you will learn things about yourself, about your relationship with food, and about how to use new strategies, mindsets, and ideas in a way that will allow you to be more effective and in control.

The program starts Tuesday, February 23, 2010 and there is still time to register and be ready to jump in with us in the first tele-call of the series.

You also still have a chance to grab some incredibly valuable bonuses–including the opportunity to have a personal coaching session with me.

Here’s where you go to get all the information.

Please let us know if you have any questions.

Take good care,

Getting to the Root of Emotional Eating Part Two: Effective Weeding

February 17th, 2010, No Comments »

Monday I shared with you why it is so important to identify and address the root cause of your struggles with food, emotional eating and overeating if you want to create an effective, lasting solution. Now, let’s look at your “weeding technique.” How are you at effectively addressing the root of your difficulties?

Here’s what I see. Too often, women gloss over the idea of understanding what is going on with their relationship with food. They look at a checklist and determine that they are an emotional eater, make a quick note of it, and then move on to planning what they will do differently in the future. This time (they tell themselves), they will eat salad for lunch. They won’t snack after dinner, and they will go to the gym on a regular basis. They fail to create a plan to address the real root cause of their overeating.

Planning feels productive and it makes most of us feel effective and in charge. I don’t have anything against plans—as long as they address the root cause that has propeled the problems with food, weight, and overeating in the past.

Too often women shame themselves into thinking that they are “making this too complicated.” They deny themselves the help and support and solutions that could maximize their effectiveness and minimize their struggle because they don’t feel “deserving” or because they have difficulties investing in themselves and making their goals a priority.

Quite simply, many of the women I encounter have a long history of trying very hard to change their relationship with food without the resources they need. No wonder they feel tired, discouraged, unmotivated and skeptical. They’ve been trying to create major life change on a shoestring—and a frazzled one at that.

So here’s the question (and the challenge) of the day: This topic speaks to you, or you wouldn’t have read as far as you already have. When it comes to getting to the root of the cause of your emotional eating or overeating, are you on the premium plan or are you trying to squeak by with the economy, super-saver-free-trial offer? Be honest with yourself. If you aren’t finding the success that you want, it’s cheap and easy (albeit painful) to beat yourself up emotionally for a lack of results.  Does this add to your effectiveness? Not one bit. The alternative that could? Upgrading your attention to the roots.

Ready to make a change? Here’s the challenge: If you were to upgrade your weeding strategy and really address the root cause of your struggles with food, what would that look like? What would you do differently? What new tools would you want to use? What help would you ask for? What resources would you engage?

What step can you commit to taking today?

Take good care,

The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series combines my 28 Day structured and self-guided program with the accountability, motivation, strategies and tips provided in six weekly teleseminars. We’re starting a new session soon. Find out more here.

Emotional Eating and Overeating: Why Getting to the Root Cause is so Important.

February 15th, 2010, No Comments »

There are few things more discouraging than battles with overeating, weight loss struggles and weight regain. I’ve seen far too many savvy, wise women lose their confidence and even their hopefulness about their ability to make successful and lasting changes in the way that they eat and in the number on the scale. The guilt and self blame that often follows just makes everything harder.

Here’s the truth. Making successful changes with your eating and your lifestyle requires paying attention to the head game. You can develop all the menus you want, precut and bag your veggies,  and stock up on fruit and protein powder until the cows come home, but if you don’t understand what is driving your eating, what led to any extra pounds you are trying to lose, what contributed to your last attempt at weight loss not working out so well, why the chocolate calls so loudly to you every evening, or why you typically regain any weight that you lose, your efforts aren’t going to pay off the way that you want them to. At least, not in a way that lasts.

Trying to lose weight or “get healthy” by going on a diet is like weeding a garden by chopping the leaves off the weeds. It doesn’t work. If you want to solve either problem in an enduring way, you must deal with the root.

The root is how the weed gets nourishment. With overeating and emotional eating, the root is the real, underlying reason that compels you to overeat or eat differently than you want to and than your wise self tells you that you should. If you don’t identify and figure out how to address the root cause of your overeating, emotional eating, and your battles with food or weight, the chance that these issues will always come back is pretty high.

Dealing with the root is not always quick, simple, or sexy. But it IS fundamentally important. And though it may seem like an overwhelming proposition, the truth is that if you allow yourself the proper tools to do the work involved, it doesn’t need to be a STRUGGLE.

To be continued….

Take good care,

Want to move forward? Looking for a plan to address the root of your emotional eating or overeating? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series kicks off soon. Go here to learn more and to snap up some great bonuses just for signing up.