Too Much on Her Plate

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Gold Medal Excuse Number One: “I don’t have time!”

March 2nd, 2010, 1 Comment »

Gold Medal Excuses: Emotional Eating and Success Traps

“I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date.” ~ The March Hare

Here’s a question I am commonly asked: How do I prioritize when I truly have too much to do? When you run a company called Too Much On Her Plate, women email you their to-do lists. Really. And you women are BUSY.

I hear about the businesses you are running and the demanding careers that you have, the aging parents and growing children you are caring for, the relationships and household demands, the health concerns, and the late nights. Many of you see the link clearly between the overwhelming demands of your life and the stress and comfort eating, the weight gain, the lack of energy to exercise, and the difficulty getting where you want to go with your personal goals. And you are feeling frustrated because you don’t know what to do and don’t have the time to think about it or start doing anything differently.

I have news. This problem almost never solves itself. Time will never just show up—and honestly, if it does, you’ll probably find yourself so glad to have it that you just collapse into it and don’t really use it in a way that will benefit you. If you want to get off the hamster wheel, you are going to have to CLAIM some time.

Claiming time means that for now (not forever), you say no to something else in order to claim some time for you. It doesn’t have to be a week. It might be ten minutes. If it is, that’s a great start. Ten minutes devoted just to you and your goal may be more than you gave yourself yesterday. So claim it. Write it in your schedule. Decide in advance what you will do with it. Somebody just emailed me that she purchased my Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program but hasn’t had enough time to do it. Ten minutes a day won’t get it done in 28 days, but it WILL move her forward.

Write this down: Taking ten minutes counts.

Here’s the thing:

Action (even ten minutes) perpetuates action. Getting started—whatever your goal—is a momentous step and just that one act will get you over a hurdle.

Once you learn to carve out ten minutes and really leverage that time you are likely to see what ten minutes can accomplish. Many of us dismiss small actions as “not enough.” When we do that, we stay stuck. I bet you will find ten minute pockets in other places you haven’t been looking—on your commute, before the kids get up, while you are waiting for your computer to start up or your tea to brew. You may also start to see ways you can claim bigger chunks of time (wait until you see what you can do in 20 minutes).

Claiming the time you need for yourself and spending it on activity that is meaningful to you is rejuvenating. People who take regular breaks and who get the self care that they need have more energy.  They are more focused and accomplish more in less time. Claiming time will pay you back in ways that may surprise you.

Looking for time to claim will lead you to be more aware of how you spend your time—maybe not the big chunks of activity, but all the small pieces. It’s amazing the amount of time we give away to things that aren’t important, that we don’t really want to do, or to boredom, procrastination, or even difficulty getting started.

Don’t let not having time be an excuse. Set the timer and claim ten minutes. Today.

Take good care,

The Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series: So What’s It Really About?

February 17th, 2010, No Comments »

The next session of the  Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series kicks off next Tuesday, February 23.

I’ve received a number of inquiries about the program and a number of requests for more information about the following:

What kind of results do people get from participating in this program?

It’s a pretty reasonable question and  I realized that I needed to do a better job of answering it.  Because the program really helps you examine YOUR individual situation and work at the pace that works with YOUR life, results vary widely and I’m not sure that there are “typical” results. It’s hard to measure the kind of changes that happen in this program. That said, here are some things you can expect and examples of what others have reported:

• You can expect to get really clear on the root of your struggles with food and overeating. That means getting clear on the things you are REALLY craving and needing (many of them aren’t really food).
• You can expect to learn how to stop blaming or being hard on yourself and how to use more effective strategies to move forward.
• You can expect to learn how to put a stop to the eating that feels out of control or over the top–not by depriving yourself but by using another strategy that REALLY addresses your needs.
• You can expect to learn how to stop getting stuck in the same old places, how to overcome self sabotage, and how to figure out what to do INSTEAD of emotional eating.

Here are some examples of what past participants have reported:

• They figured out that their eating really wasn’t senseless–there was a purpose to it. Once they understood this, they were able to address the REASON for the overeating directly–find a BETTER strategy for dealing with the reason–and get out of the overeating trap.
• They learned how to stop boredom eating (and how to address the boredom). The same can be said for stress eating, anxious eating, comfort eating, etc.
• They started using new tools to stop stress eating at work and to stop overeating the treats people were bringing into the office.
• They got better at saying “no” to things they didn’t want to do that were triggering overeating.
• They developed a plan for night eating, snacking and bingeing.
• They realized that they needed tools for coping with anger and started building better ways of responding instead of eating out of frustration.
• They developed new strategies for rewarding themselves that didn’t involve food.

I could keep going, but I hope you get the idea.

I can’t tell you exactly what YOUR experience would be with the Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series, but I can tell you that if you put in the effort and complete the program, you will learn things about yourself, about your relationship with food, and about how to use new strategies, mindsets, and ideas in a way that will allow you to be more effective and in control.

The program starts Tuesday, February 23, 2010 and there is still time to register and be ready to jump in with us in the first tele-call of the series.

You also still have a chance to grab some incredibly valuable bonuses–including the opportunity to have a personal coaching session with me.

Here’s where you go to get all the information.

Please let us know if you have any questions.

Take good care,

Getting to the Root of Emotional Eating Part Two: Effective Weeding

February 17th, 2010, No Comments »

Monday I shared with you why it is so important to identify and address the root cause of your struggles with food, emotional eating and overeating if you want to create an effective, lasting solution. Now, let’s look at your “weeding technique.” How are you at effectively addressing the root of your difficulties?

Here’s what I see. Too often, women gloss over the idea of understanding what is going on with their relationship with food. They look at a checklist and determine that they are an emotional eater, make a quick note of it, and then move on to planning what they will do differently in the future. This time (they tell themselves), they will eat salad for lunch. They won’t snack after dinner, and they will go to the gym on a regular basis. They fail to create a plan to address the real root cause of their overeating.

Planning feels productive and it makes most of us feel effective and in charge. I don’t have anything against plans—as long as they address the root cause that has propeled the problems with food, weight, and overeating in the past.

Too often women shame themselves into thinking that they are “making this too complicated.” They deny themselves the help and support and solutions that could maximize their effectiveness and minimize their struggle because they don’t feel “deserving” or because they have difficulties investing in themselves and making their goals a priority.

Quite simply, many of the women I encounter have a long history of trying very hard to change their relationship with food without the resources they need. No wonder they feel tired, discouraged, unmotivated and skeptical. They’ve been trying to create major life change on a shoestring—and a frazzled one at that.

So here’s the question (and the challenge) of the day: This topic speaks to you, or you wouldn’t have read as far as you already have. When it comes to getting to the root of the cause of your emotional eating or overeating, are you on the premium plan or are you trying to squeak by with the economy, super-saver-free-trial offer? Be honest with yourself. If you aren’t finding the success that you want, it’s cheap and easy (albeit painful) to beat yourself up emotionally for a lack of results.  Does this add to your effectiveness? Not one bit. The alternative that could? Upgrading your attention to the roots.

Ready to make a change? Here’s the challenge: If you were to upgrade your weeding strategy and really address the root cause of your struggles with food, what would that look like? What would you do differently? What new tools would you want to use? What help would you ask for? What resources would you engage?

What step can you commit to taking today?

Take good care,

The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series combines my 28 Day structured and self-guided program with the accountability, motivation, strategies and tips provided in six weekly teleseminars. We’re starting a new session soon. Find out more here.

Emotional Eating and Overeating: Why Getting to the Root Cause is so Important.

February 15th, 2010, No Comments »

There are few things more discouraging than battles with overeating, weight loss struggles and weight regain. I’ve seen far too many savvy, wise women lose their confidence and even their hopefulness about their ability to make successful and lasting changes in the way that they eat and in the number on the scale. The guilt and self blame that often follows just makes everything harder.

Here’s the truth. Making successful changes with your eating and your lifestyle requires paying attention to the head game. You can develop all the menus you want, precut and bag your veggies,  and stock up on fruit and protein powder until the cows come home, but if you don’t understand what is driving your eating, what led to any extra pounds you are trying to lose, what contributed to your last attempt at weight loss not working out so well, why the chocolate calls so loudly to you every evening, or why you typically regain any weight that you lose, your efforts aren’t going to pay off the way that you want them to. At least, not in a way that lasts.

Trying to lose weight or “get healthy” by going on a diet is like weeding a garden by chopping the leaves off the weeds. It doesn’t work. If you want to solve either problem in an enduring way, you must deal with the root.

The root is how the weed gets nourishment. With overeating and emotional eating, the root is the real, underlying reason that compels you to overeat or eat differently than you want to and than your wise self tells you that you should. If you don’t identify and figure out how to address the root cause of your overeating, emotional eating, and your battles with food or weight, the chance that these issues will always come back is pretty high.

Dealing with the root is not always quick, simple, or sexy. But it IS fundamentally important. And though it may seem like an overwhelming proposition, the truth is that if you allow yourself the proper tools to do the work involved, it doesn’t need to be a STRUGGLE.

To be continued….

Take good care,

Want to move forward? Looking for a plan to address the root of your emotional eating or overeating? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series kicks off soon. Go here to learn more and to snap up some great bonuses just for signing up.

Emotional Eating and Overeating: What You Need To Know So That They Don’t Sabotage Your Weight Loss Plan

February 3rd, 2010, No Comments »

I’m pleased to announce the next call in the Smart Women’s Teleseminar Series and it might be just the ticket for you if you are finding yourself struggling or veering off track with your New Year’s plan for a healthier lifestyle.

The topic this month:

Emotional Eating and Overeating: What You Need To Know So That They Don’t Sabotage Your Weight Loss Plan

Did you know that emotional eating can be an issue for you and you might not even know it? Or that slowing down and paying attention to emotional eating can help you identify additional triggers that may be fueling your appetite, slowing down your metabolism and sabotaging your weight loss attempts? Join me for this free teleseminar on Tuesday, February 9 at 3pm Pacific/6pm Eastern and you’ll hear:

• What you need to know about overeating that no diet will address

• Why most dieters fail

• The most powerful tool you can use to create permanent weight loss and changes in your relationship with food

… and much more.  I’m also going to be providing information about the upcoming Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series which begins this month.

You can register and get all the information for the free call here.

Take good care,

4 Questions to Ask Before You Try to Lose Weight—Again

January 2nd, 2010, No Comments »

If you are an emotional eater, an overeater, a compulsive eater or a constant snacker, you’re probably also an expert dieter. Most women don’t just struggle to lose weight once. We struggle to lose weight, to keep it off, to maintain hard-earned healthy habits, and—too often—we struggle to lose the weight all over again because we’ve regained it.

If you want to avoid the weight loss roller coaster—and the emotional turmoil that can accompany it, ask yourself the following four questions before you start moving forward with your weight loss resolutions.

1.    Why are you in this same place again? In other words, what hasn’t worked in the past? Where have the plans fallen apart? Why did you lose your motivation? What part of past programs just wasn’t possible for you to complete? Be as honest and as thorough about answering this question as possible.  Note: this is NOT an opportunity to beat yourself up. If your first response is something like, “I was lazy and didn’t have enough willpower,” I’m not buying it. What would a plan need to have to keep you energized? What was it about the last approach that led you to run out of steam and stick-to-it-ness?

2.    Do you have the time and energy for this project? Really. If adopting new healthy lifestyle habits is important to you, you’re going to need to carve out some space to do this. Do you struggle to find time to take care of yourself? Are you willing to say no to some things so that you can say yes to what you want? What will you need to let go of to stay on track?

3.    When you stumble, what will help you get back on track? We all have bad days (or weeks or months). You know yourself—what do you need to keep going when the going gets tough? Are you motivated by accountability, rewards, feedback, or something else? Do you need a partner, an emotional eating program, a coach who can help you make peace with food? What benefits or features would help you really create the success you are after?

4.    Are you trying to build a house with only a hammer? In other words, do you need some new tools to craft the success that you crave? The best hammer in the world is pretty useless if what you really need is a screwdriver and the best eating plan in the world won’t teach you how to stop emotional eating (stress eating, comfort eating, boredom eating, etc.). What skills or habits or information would help you feel more confident and prepared to win at weight loss—once and for all?

Remember—you are the expert on you. Don’t let your wisdom go to waste. Use what you know to craft a plan that won’t disappoint or leave you tied up in knots trying to be someone you aren’t. That’s how to create a pathway towards peace with food and weight that stays “lost.”

Take good care,

15 Ways to Celebrate and Reward Yourself Without Using Food

December 4th, 2009, No Comments »

Let’s face it. We belong to a culture that encourages us to use food to feel good, to celebrate, and to reward ourselves. One of the biggest challenges for women trying to lose weight and take control of emotional eating is finding new ways to take care of themselves or to indulge.

Many of the participants in my Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series, initially come up empty when they try to generate a list of nonfood rewards. While you might feel stuck too, having a list like this is an essential step to taking control of overeating and your weight. When you are making these kind of life changes, it’s simply not enough to know what you DON’T want to do anymore (i.e. overeat). It’s essential to know what you will do INSTEAD.  In case you are feeling rusty, here’s a list of nonfood rewards to get you started.  Please add your own suggestions in a comment to this post—and definitely create a list of your own.

How to reward yourself without food:

1. Announce your accomplishment to others and allow yourself to hear and soak in the congratulations.
2. Buy yourself some new songs for your mp3 player. A few of my clients have created entire inspirational playlists made up of songs that each represent a specific accomplishment or milestone.
3. Get a pedicure or manicure or give yourself one.
4. Buy some incredible smelling lotion.
5. Give yourself the gift of browsing in a store you never feel you have time to visit. One client I know gives herself a tour of her favorite nursery and dreams about her garden. Another client gifts herself with a trip to the scrapbooking store.
6. Take a nap.
7. Stop in the middle of the day, put your feet up and read a book or a magazine.
8. See a movie.
9. Take a day off—really off. Only do things you truly want to do.
10. Subscribe to a magazine you want. You’ll be reminded of your reward at least once a month.
11. Give yourself a free pass to say “no” to something you wouldn’t normally say no to.
12. Keep a list of items you really want and purchase one when you have a win to celebrate.
13. Sleep in.
14. Get a massage
15. Take a bubble bath

Okay, it’s your turn. What can you add to the list? Leave a comment and add your best suggestions.

Take good care,

Holiday Overeating: How Enjoying Your Food Can Limit Overindulging

December 2nd, 2009, No Comments »

A new study from Texas A & M International University says that on average, Americans consume 619 additional calories a day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. That’s a lot of overeating.

What the study doesn’t explore is how much the average American enjoys those extra calories. Here’s a point to ponder this week. As you are facing the holiday treats, the cookie trays, and the calorie-laden celebrations, how much of the food that you eat are you completely savoring?

One of the excuses we give ourselves for indulging this time of year is that these are special, once-a-year treats. Are you tasting them—or are you mindlessly munching while focused on something else, having a conversation, or just-not-paying-attention?

My guess is that many of those 619 extra calories (per day!) are mindless calories that really aren’t enjoyed, relished, or savored. They are calories we eat because they are there.

My advice: if you are going to indulge, allow yourself to soak it up. Stop. Breathe deep. Taste your food.  Enjoy how it feels in your mouth. Stop before your next bite and ask yourself whether you really want it, whether you are hungry, and whether you are still savoring.

Take your time.

When you are done savoring, stop eating. There will be plenty of opportunities to savor again.

My clients who try this tend to discover two things. First, they enjoy their eating experience much more when they give it their full attention. Second, it’s difficult to overindulge when you interpret indulging as giving food your focused attention, savoring it completely, and stopping when the experience isn’t one hundred percent satisfying anymore.  Many are surprised to find how early on in their eating they actually stop savoring and are simply eating or “finishing” what is in front of them.

Care to try it out?  I’d love to hear what you think.

Take good care,

PS: If you could use more help with mindless eating, stress eating, or emotional eating of any type, I highly recommend my Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program.

Emotional Eating: Don’t Let it Sabotage Your Plan

November 8th, 2009, No Comments »

Last week I was interviewed by Kevin McCarthy on the importance of crafting a strategy for addressing emotional eating when making healthy lifestyle changes. The audience for the teleseminar was primarily health coaches and individuals working at weight loss.  As I spoke and answered questions—from this very knowledgeable audience—I was reminded of an important truth. Sometimes it’s not about knowing enough information.  Sometimes success is crafted when we know ourselves and when we design an approach and a support system that meets our unique requirements.

I shared quite a bit of information and some very important tips for taking control of overeating and creating peace with food. I also shared a special offer on the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ which you are welcome to take advantage of.

Want to listen?
Taking Control of Emotional Eating

Take good care,

PS: My Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series kicks off this week. We’re going to be addressing the nuts and bolts of creating an individualized blueprint for taking control of emotional eating–just in time for the hectic and tempting holiday season. You can get all the information and grab your seat here.

What Would You Choose? The D-word or the Blueprint?

October 30th, 2009, 2 Comments »

Why choose a healthy lifestyle blueprint over a diet?

That’s part of what I talked about during my Busy Woman’s Holiday Healthy Lifestyle Blueprint teleseminar last week.

Diets (the D-word):
• Don’t work and don’t create permanent changes.
• Are about deprivation.
• Don’t work (did I say that already?) and anyway, they are almost impossible to undertake during the busy event-and-treat-filled holiday season.

A Healthy Lifestyle Blueprint:
• Doesn’t tell you what NOT to do. It’s a plan that is do-able and that is designed to create change that lasts.
• Takes into consideration all the important variables including your life, your schedule, and your unique needs and challenges.
• Gets you where you want to go in a way that feels satisfying (not hungry or deprived).
• Is something you can continue to follow and refer to when things don’t go perfectly (they never do), or when you get stuck. In fact, an effective blueprint is a powerful plan that doesn’t require you to be perfect for it to create success.

Last week I showed you how to ditch the d-word and craft a blueprint for a healthy lifestyle that you can take with you through the holidays and into your new year. If you want to listen to the recording, you can do so here.

One of the key components your blueprint must have to move you into effective action with weight and overeating is a plan for taking control of the REASONS and the triggers for overeating and unhealthy choices (this is a key component that’s usually overlooked).

Would you like some help doing just that during the time of year that presents incredible eating and lifestyle challenges? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 6 Week Take Action Series begins November 10. I’ll be walking you through my Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Program with action plans, templates, and activities that move my clients out of overwhelm with food and weight and into action towards their goals (and there’s no d-word). Join me live on the calls or follow along on the mp3 downloads of each class.

You can learn all the details and register here.

Grab a seat now and you can also get special pricing, free coaching (!) and a personalized Q&A call.

Take good care,

PS:  I really AM offering a free personal coaching session to the first five women who grab a seat in this program and bonus personalized Q&A opportunities for a select group. You can sign up here.