Mind clutter—a mind overflowing with thoughts, worries, projects, to-do lists, feeling and ideas—leads to a lot of problems. Mind clutter contributes to overload, stress, procrastination, lack of focus, burnout, clutter outside your mind, and emotional eating and overeating.

Overeating, or reaching for food when you aren’t really hungry, is a common response to feeling overloaded, ineffective, or short of time. And that’s how too much mind clutter can leave you feeling.

It’s easy to become caught in a vicious cycle (I call it the hamster wheel), when your mind is on overload. It can be tempting to resort to stress eating, or to overeat because you feel too overwhelmed to really take care of yourself. Overeating adds to any feelings of being out of control (and now having one more thing to deal with). You have so much in your head that you feel like you don’t have time or the mental space to do more than react, and you soon overeat again. Maybe this time you aren’t craving comfort, but you want an energy boost, or a reward, or a distraction.

The point is, the cycle of mind clutter contributing to emotional eating contributing to mind clutter continues, and you stay stuck. Plus, it feels awful.

My suggestion? When you focus on tools to stop overeating, don’t ignore the mind clutter. Taking control of the overwhelm can create a profound shift in both your emotional eating and your life.

Here are some tips to get started.

• Don’t rely on your memory. It doesn’t matter how well it works. The point is, it takes a lot of energy and creates stress when you store too many details, events, and things to do in your brain and expect yourself to be able to track them. Like a computer screen constantly being “refreshed,” you are continually going through the act of sorting through what you need to remember, prioritizing, and making decisions. That’s a lot of work. Write everything down. Designate one place (one notebook, app on your phone, or file on your computer) and do a brain dump of everything you are thinking about or worrying about daily. Now you don’t  have to remember it anymore.

See the mental space you just created?

• Create a punch list. This is not a comprehensive list of everything  that you want to accomplish in the next six months. This is the list of 1—3 priority action items you are giving your attention today or this hour or for the next fifteen minutes. Choose a time frame that works for you and honor that important task or experience with your full attention.

•  Give your brain downtime. Too much clutter creates anxiety and tension. It does not encourage restfulness and relaxation. But a periodic “reboot” is exactly what you need to get off the hamster wheel. Give yourself at least 7 ½ hours of sleep and aim to spend at least ten minutes a day simply “being” and tuning in to the world around you.

 Giving your mind practice at being calm instead of spinning at top speed is a good thing.

Addressing mind clutter creates a shift from being caught on the hamster wheel to being proactive and in charge. That’s where overload begins to dissolve, and peace with food and all the good stuff that comes with it, really begins.

Take good care,

When I surveyed readers recently, more than 90% who responded said they’d like some help with overeating and emotional eating.

Real help. Smart emotional eating help that meets you where you are, that doesn’t talk down to you and that offers overeating solutions that you can implement in the midst of a busy life.

I hear you loud and clear. You tell me that many of you could write books on weight loss and the rules you “should” be following, but you want a program that will address the real problem areas.

• 40% of you told me you are looking for help sticking with a program. You’re tired of getting stuck or getting thrown off track.
• You want to know what to do INSTEAD of eating. You’ve run out of willpower (or you will soon).
• You’re very concerned with how to carve out time to do what you need to do to be successful.
• You’d like to know more about how to identify emotional eating and the feelings that trigger overeating and want to know the secret about what to do about them.
• You want a program that is do-able, affordable, and won’t leave you burnt-out, more stressed, or like you’ve failed one more time.

I’ve taken your input and my best coaching tools and strategies and I think I’ve cracked the code. I’d like to invite you to a free event to share what I’ve come up with—and to give you some important information that I want every woman looking for emotional eating help to have.

Come to this free webinar (you can attend via phone, online, or by accessing the playback of the event) and I will share with you:

• The secret to ending weight struggles once and for all (and why willpower is over-rated).
• Why you keep getting stuck, falling off track, or why you haven’t been successful in a way that LASTS.
• The importance of identifying (and cracking) your unique code for success.
• My easy recipe for reigniting motivation, taking effective action, and getting on track with your goals today.
• Plus, you’ll be the first to hear about what I’ve developed and how you can use it too.

You know how to diet and my bet is that it’s not working for you. Life’s too short to keep struggling and not feel effective. Won’t you join me and start living a different path?

Just go here to reserve your space and start getting the emotional eating help you deserve.

Take good care,

Stop “not thinking about it.”

How often do you end up shoving your plans and priorities or even your thoughts and feelings to the back burner because there are so many other things you feel responsible for?

Guess what? “Not thinking about it” doesn’t work. It’s also a way of not taking yourself seriously.

I hear it all the time from clients:

“I don’t want to feel angry.”

“There’s nothing I can do about it so I eat.”

“I’m trying not to focus on it.”

Denying your thoughts and feelings is a major source of stress, a major cause of emotional eating, insomnia, procrastination, misplaced irritability and problems focusing.

Here’s another important piece of information (especially for all you high-achievers and perfectionists!):

Taking your thoughts and feelings seriously doesn’t mean you have to know what to “do about them.”

Too many of you are prolonging your stress and creating problems for yourself because you’ve decided—“It’s pointless to think about this because I can’t do anything about it.”

Important feelings and thoughts don’t go away just because you ignore them. Too often they build up, get tangled up around other issues, and trigger self-sabotaging behaviors like stress eating, comfort eating, avoidance, lack of motivation in other areas . . . you get the picture.

Here’s your bite-sized challenge for today. I want you to separate the process of acknowledging and respecting your feelings from the task of problem solving.

Today—right now if you can—start a list of everything that you are currently tolerating. Everything you can think of that is sub-optimal, isn’t working for you, is driving you crazy, causing you stress, distress, sadness, or just bugs you a teensy tiny bit.

Put it on a list. Nothing is too small or too outrageous. If it helps to compartmentalize, make separate lists. I have one for work and one for my personal life.  Start the list and add to it as things occur to you. Then watch what happens.

I’m going to predict at least two results.  Once you start noting things like this—actually writing them down—you are automatically paying more attention to your feelings or needs. This is the opposite of the head-in-the-sand approach. Take note of where it leads you. Most people find that noting what they are tolerating causes them to be more aware of what they want and what they don’t want. You’re also likely to find that simply putting some of these items on your list seems to lead to easy resolution. The truth is, sometimes the act of saying, “this doesn’t work for me.” Is enough to create change.

Make your list and see what happens. Leave a comment and share your experience.

Take good care,

When life gets busy and you get stressed, it’s natural to look for ways to be more efficient and add more ease. The tendency is to look for things you can eliminate. Unfortunately, sometimes this doesn’t work out so well. One way to have less stress and overwhelm is to be clear on the activities and routines that are essential to preserve.

Here are eight things you don’t want to do when you are stressed out and short on time—and some tips on how to make them happen.

1. Cut back on sleep. As tempting as it may be, sleep is not the place to try to save time. Seven and a half hours seem to be the magic number. If you are getting less than this on a regular basis, you aren’t going to be as effective or creative, you are likely to be hungrier, and have a lower tolerance for stress. NOT what you want when life is demanding.
    
2. Cross yourself out of your schedule. When you are looking at an over-full calendar, it’s tempting to see your own stuff as expendable and put yourself last. Too often it’s the stuff that keeps you functioning (sleep, exercise, healthy meals, stress relieving activities) that are the first things crossed off your schedule. You know better. Instead of eliminating the good stuff, consider cutting back if you have to. Shorter workouts, simple fast meals, quick phone calls to friends, and less aiming for perfection in areas that don’t really matter.
    
3. Multitask like crazy. Multitasking requires your brain to work in more than one direction at once. Guess what—it can’t do that. So instead of being “efficient,” you end up asking your brain to switch back and forth between tasks. Neither gets the attention it deserves. Is it okay to clean the sink while you’re on hold with your cell phone provider? Of course, but multitask with care.
    
4. Eating on the go. This is a form of multitasking. You should know that women who eat while they are doing something else tend to eat more and feel less satisfied with what they have eaten. Make the shift to viewing your mealtime as an opportunity to get grounded and be present with yourself. That’s the kind of multitasking that works. Savor your food and allow yourself to enjoy the calories. Pay attention to how you are feeling, whether you are hungry or full, tense, relaxed, anxious, or bored. Practice asking yourself what you need that is not food. It only takes a few minutes and it can make all the difference in the rest of your day (as well as with your eating and your weight).
   
   
5. Skip the pre-game planning. When life is crazy, it’s tempting to just jump in and start moving. The problem is, we all know how easy it is to spend a day working hard and still not really feel like we’ve accomplished much. Investing ten minutes on the front end of your day to get clear on your priorities, adjust your mindset for success, and address any potential hurdles will be worth its weight in gold–and it will probably save you stress and time in the long run.
    
6. Underestimate the power of ten. Have you noticed that many of the things I’m reminding you not to skip can be done in small ways? If you are telling yourself, “I don’t have time,” ask yourself whether you can think smaller. Don’t get caught in the high-achiever head trap of all-or-nothing-thinking. Just because you don’t have time for an hour-long cardio workout doesn’t mean you can’t go for a ten minute walk. Five minutes of journaling might untangle your brain. A ten minute email might get you the help or the answer you need to save hours. Taking ten minutes to transition after work might save you a pre-dinner pig-out session with the holiday cookies. When you’re stressed and overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to allow yourself a little breathing space.
    
7. Go it alone. “It’s quicker for me to do it myself” is the phrase that leads to a lot of unnecessary stress. It may seem like it in the moment, but trying to do everything will set you up for vicious cycles of overload and overwhelm. Ask for help. Be specific. If you can’t be specific, tell someone you trust, “Is there a way that you could help with this?” You may just be amazed at the results you get.
    
8. Skip meals. “I didn’t have time for lunch” often leads to an evening of eating that feels out of control. If you manage to control your eating, you’re likely to feel tired, edgy, headachey, and no fun. Remember the ten minute rule. If you have a list of quick, healthy options, eating doesn’t take a lot of time. If you don’t have a list, make one now. Five to ten things you can grab that will keep you fueled and on track. Keep it simple—tuna, Greek yogurt, almonds, cheese sticks. Stuff that will stay with you and won’t lead to a blood sugar slump in the afternoon or evening.

What must-dos keep you on track when life threatens to pull you off course? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Take good care,

"I've been fighting with food my whole life."

"I'm so sick and tired of fighting with my weight. I don't think I'll ever win."

"It's been going really well and I've lost twenty-five pounds. I just wonder how long it will last."

These are real quotes from real women who contacted me recently about my emotional eating coaching programs. I get emails almost daily from women who've spent more energy than you can measure fighting with weight, battling the scale, and trying desperately to control their eating.

Even when things are going "well," it can feel like a tightrope act requiring constant discipline, vigilance, and will power.

It's exhausting. And the sad thing is, it's a losing battle.

Because it IS a battle. And it will continue to be a battle, even if you are winning it.

As long as you are battling, food cannot be your friend. And when you "battle" your weight, you are at war with yourself. I'd like to suggest a different way of approaching all this that will allow you to stop struggling, fighting against yourself, and feeling guilty and ineffective

There is no trust or ease or peace or relaxation.

A fight means that food potentially has power over you.

Battles take energy. Valuable energy. Even if you are winning.

As long as you are battling, food cannot be your friend.

And when you "battle" your weight, you are at war with yourself.

Clients have come to work with me because they are determined to win the battle. And I've always suggested a bigger and more rewarding challenge.

I call it peace with food.

Peace. Calm. Ease. No conflict. A relationship with food that works. That doesn't drain your energy or your mood. That allows you to move forward and be your Best Self.

Peace with food is a relationship without tangles or desperation or deprivation. Food fuels your body. Food feeds your senses. You can taste and you can savor. And when you aren't hungry, you can walk away.

Peace with food begins with the acknowledgement that your current relationship with food exists for a reason.

Be respectful and curious about how you are currently using food:

• to cope?
• to manage feelings (emotional eating)?
• for comfort or to protect yourself?

With the right tools and support you can find alternatives that work better. You can stop fighting and start creating peace with food.

And then you can start thinking about what you will do with all that extra hope and energy.

Take good care,

‘Tis the season of holiday fun and festivity—and holiday weight gain, stress, and overload. I’ll get right to the point.

1.  Be clear on your goals.  Ask yourself what you want to have or experience during the holidays. Whatever your goal—creating happy memories, maintaining your weight, or hosting an enjoyable family gathering—you are much more likely to achieve what you want if you are crystal clear on what it is.
   
2. Ditch perfectionism. Settle for “good enough” this holiday season, and you’ll probably laugh more and stress a lot less. “Perfect” rarely happens, and frankly, it’s not very much fun having to have everything “just right.” Give yourself permission to lighten up and enjoy the moment. Don't set drastic goals for weight loss or life change. Acknowledge the progress that you make and focus on taking small, consistent steps.
   
3. Set time and energy budgets. Setting a financial budget is critical for reducing stress and overwhelm during the holidays, but it’s also essential to be realistic about budgeting your time and energy. Be clear about how much of yourself you have to give to various projects and do your best to stick within these limits. You’ll find that this policy also helps with perfectionism.
4. Savor the important stuff and say no to the rest. Focus on making deliberate choices and then savoring. This is an excellent strategy for approaching holiday treats and can help prevent holiday weight gain. It’s also a useful decision-making tool for the invitations and events that many of us face in December. The holidays come with some very special once-a-year-treats that you probably don’t want to miss. Identify what these are—and make sure you allow yourself the chance to indulge and enjoy them. Make a commitment to yourself now to pass up all the “extras” that aren’t really anything special. Decide now to skip the chips, store-bought cookies, extra cocktails, and “fillers” that people will be setting out this holiday season. Likewise, choose deliberately and decline the “must-do” events that really aren’t where you want to be spending your valuable time.  
5. Make it a group thing. Make cookie baking or shopping a social activity. Put on some music and have the whole family do a massive whole-house pickup, laundry folding session, or gift wrapping blitz. Don’t be a martyr. Divide up your to-do list when possible and don’t be shy about asking for help.
6. Schedule.  Plan ahead and set aside time for your high-priority items. Don’t forget to claim a spot for your own self-care, exercise, etc. Put these in your calendar now and you won’t end up disappointed because you never got around to them.
7. Take time for you.  Pay yourself first with a little me-time and you’ll have more energy, focus, and passion for all the rest of your activities. You may also find yourself doing less stress or comfort eating. At a minimum, claim ten minutes at the start of your day to check in with yourself and identify your priorities for the day. Spending ten minutes focused on you, whether it is spent in quiet time, journaling, yoga, or meditation can make a huge difference in the way the rest of your day unfolds.
8. Get your zzzs.  Sleep affects just about everything including energy, appetite, and mood. Although you may be tempted to burn the midnight oil, you’ll be more productive and effective if you commit to seven and a half hours of sleep a night.
9.  Be clear on your challenges.  What’s likely to cause hitches, stress, or throw you off track this season? Be proactive by brainstorming some strategies now that can help you during challenging times.
10.  Be in the moment.  Make a point of focusing on the present instead of spending your energy thinking about the past or worrying about what still may be on your to-do list. Stop to breathe deep, make eye contact, feel the snow on your face, or say, “Thank you.” The moment you are in right now is the place where your life is happening.

Take good care,

The winter holidays are here and with all the joy and excitement, they also include challenges and realities that can throw your goals, routines, and eating off course. As much as many of us look forward to this time of year, we know that it is stressful and that the food-filled festivities can be a recipe for overeating and weight gain.

The research on holiday weight gain and stress is worth paying attention to. Holiday stress has a particular impact on women, who take charge of many of the holiday celebrations, particularly the tasks related to food.

Women are more likely to report increased stress during the holiday season. Women have a harder time relaxing during the holidays and are more likely to fall into bad habits like emotional eating to manage overload or overwhelm. Our health can take a further hit because, during the holidays, people are much more likely to choose non-active (and ineffective) activities like watching TV, sleeping, eating and drinking to manage their stress.

Many people engage in emotional eating and other unhealthy behaviors to cope with their stress levels during the holidays, and as you probably know, weight gain is a big issue. People gain more weight during the holiday season than any other time of year. It gets worse. We’re less likely to lose the weight we gain over the holidays, and, if you are already overweight, you are likely to gain more weight than average.

I’m not trying to be a downer here, but the holiday season is definitely a time to be proactive if you want to avoid overeating, weight gain, and stress and begin the New Year feeling on track and in control.

Here are five essential ingredients for staying on track with weight, health, and stress over the holiday season:

1. Set a goal. Be clear on what it is you plan to accomplish over the next several weeks. Be realistic; make sure it’s manageable; and be concrete. Your goals don’t have to be huge. Maybe you are going to pack a healthy lunch every day or walk on your lunch hour. Maybe you will only eat dessert on certain days of the week. Pick a goal that fits you and make sure that you can easily tell whether you are on track or not.

2. Create a plan. This is not the time of year to take anything for granted. Make sure you know the how and the when of anything you plan to do. Schedule time for your goals NOW before life gets any busier. Write things down. Identify the steps you will need to take. For instance, if you are going to pack a daily lunch, make sure you have ideas of what you will take, that you have the time to prepare it, and groceries on hand. Set yourself up for success by thinking things through on the front end.

3. Keep it do-able. I’m repeating myself here because it’s important. When you set goals that are too big, you are setting yourself up to fail and to feel ineffective. This is probably not the time of year when you will maximize weight loss, in fact, for many women, the goal may be not to gain. That’s great. Be honest with yourself about what you want to do and what you really can do over the next six weeks. Remember, small changes—the ones you can maintain–can create big results.

4. Savor and be selective. Think about food ahead of time. You probably encounter some special foods over the holidays that you don’t want to pass up. Plan for these, and whatever you do, make darn sure that you stop and savor them (without guilt). You can’t really indulge if you are busy feeling bad or mad at yourself for what you are eating. Make those calories count!

On the other hand, you’re going to encounter lots of unhealthy food you probably don’t really care about over the next few weeks. Consider making some policies for yourself about foods you are willing to forgo. Do you really care about the store-bought dinner rolls or the eggnog? Get clear NOW on what you will happily skip.

5. Commit to me-time. Remember all that stuff about holiday stress? As busy as you may be this holiday season, it’s important to set aside regular time just for you. This will help you manage your stress, stay connected with your needs and your goals, and feel better. You’re likely to be less irritable, more focused, and more productive if you commit to taking regular me-time. As little as ten minutes a day can reduce stress, add ease, and make an incredible difference in how you feel and function.

What are your holiday survival tips? I’d love to hear. Leave a comment and let me know your challenges and how you plan to stay on track this year.

Take good care,

It’s Halloween and the temptation to overeat or eat mindlessly is everywhere. Miniature Snicker bars and candy corn seem to be on every desk and counter, not to mention the stash you may have in your own cupboard…

Is the candy haunting you?

Whether they are treats that you love or ones that trigger childhood memories, odds are that it's easy to grab one or two or four without even thinking about whether you are hungry or whether it fits your goals.

We've entered the holiday treat season and NOW is a good time to ask yourself the following questions:

What’s your plan? How do you want to respond to all the treats you will encounter between now and January 1st?  “Don’t eat them” is not a plan. What strategies do you intend to use to avoid emotional eating, minimize temptation, stay in control of your choices and not feel deprived? Do you have the support and the tools that you need to be effective?

Where are your weak spots and how can you be proactive? Take a careful look at any patterns you see with overeating. Do you feel calm and on track until mid-afternoon or does the chocolate only call to you after dinner? What’s that about? If you’re REALLY feeling haunted and it feels impossible to resist (we’ve all been there), then this is about something more than hunger. What else is going on? Is this emotional eating—stress or comfort or even boredom eating—that you are experiencing? Respond to the situation or the emotion and the food will become less compelling.

What simple policies or structures can you put in place to limit your exposure and make life simpler? Of course you know to get rid of that leftover candy you don’t even like, but what next step could you take? What’s your plan for dealing with the treats?

Any tricks or brilliant strategies you’d care to share with the rest of us?

Take good care,