If you are an emotional eater or someone prone to overeating, you know well that it’s one thing to decide to change your eating habits—to cut back your portions, stop snacking in the evening, or to stop turning to food at the end of a long day. It’s another thing entirely to act on your intentions and not overeat when you find yourself in the situation where that’s all you want to do.

• Take a bath
• Soak your feet (really—this feels great)
• Blow bubbles
  
• Brew a cup of tea
•  Listen to music
• Watch a movie
• Sit outside (or if it’s cold, by a fire)
•  If you have a cat who will let you, pet him/her and be one with the purr
  
• Curl up with a good book
• Update your Netflix list or put some new books on hold at the library
• Buy yourself some new music for your mp3 player
•  Call a friend
• Play Scrabble or chess or even solitaire online. Better yet, get your family to play a game—live and in person
• Catch up on magazines
•  Do a crossword puzzle
• Work on your birthday wish list (no matter how far away your birthday is)
  
•  Listen to a relaxation CD

Melissa McCreery

My guess is that emotional eating haunts most women who are struggling with weight loss. It’s a major cause of diet failure (although we all know diets don’t really work anyway) and a huge contributor to weight gain.

Most women who struggle with emotional eating also feel frustrated with themselves about it. Emotional eating erodes self esteem. Many women feel shame or guilt. They blast themselves with the belief that overeating is “an easy way out” and call themselves lazy or stupid or losers. They retaliate by “starting over” and telling themselves that this time they will push harder, be stricter, and find success.

Melissa McCreery

In the battle to lose weight, stop overeating, or break free from emotional eating, it’s important to pay attention to the things that trigger your eating to go awry. Simply focusing on what to eat misses an essential point–Your eating choices may be strongly affected by your emotions and your environment. And your food plan is useless if something is preventing you from following it.

1. Getting too hungry

Do you stick to your plan through breakfast and lunch only to find yourself irritable, craving carbs, and ready to eat everything in sight by the time late afternoon or evening rolls around? The end of the day tends to be stressful for many. The transition between work and home, mealtime decisions, and other peoples’ hunger or tiredness can push a busy woman over the edge. When I start coaching a new private client, it’s not unusual to hear that this is THE most difficult time of day.

The key here: take control of what you can. This means doing what you can so that you don’t arrive at the end of the day feeling exhausted and starved. Too many women who are trying to lose weight, eat too little in the middle of the day and, as a result, lose control and overeat before, during, or after dinner (or all three). Make sure you are eating a balanced lunch (with protein) and then calculate the hours you are expecting yourself to last before eating again. Most women do well with a small snack midafternoon. Again, adding in protein can make all the difference.

2. Evening eating

3. Snacking on treats at work

Melissa McCreery

Emotional eating is a tough habit to break, and let’s face it—the urge to overeat usually happens when we are not at our best. It’s all well and good to have a plan to end emotional eating and lists of what to do instead of overeating, but, in the moment, sometimes getting out of the vicious cycle of turning to food can seem impossible.

Here’s an important emotional eating tip: When you don’t know what to do, do nothing.

That’s right. In spite of what your high achieving inner-perfectionist may tell you, you don’t need to unfurl a perfectly designed plan to have an impact on your eating. When you hit that spot where you are starting to feel out of control, when the snacking won’t stop, when you have an urge to overeat at work or to stand in front of the refrigerator after dinner, just stop—and do nothing.

I’m not suggesting you stop forever or title your stopping “I Won’t Eat.” Just insert a short break. Take sixty seconds to breathe deeply and take a small step back from the situation. Don’t focus on the negative. Don’t focus on what you don’t know to do. Don’t focus on being frustrated with yourself.

Breathe deeply and ask yourself what you know and what you need—in this moment. This is not a big picture question. This emotional eating intervention is about taking a few seconds to take care of yourself for the next sixty seconds.

What do you need NOW?

Maybe you need a change of scenery (think small and do-able, this means a walk around the office, not a trip to Tahiti). Consider a breath of fresh air, a phone call to a friend, a drive around the block so you can scream in your car, or maybe two minutes with your eyes closed, breathing deeply and reconnecting with you. Inserting this short break may not feel like much, but when you pause in this way, you break the auto-pilot pull of emotional eating. A short break gives you a different perspective, and, by choosing to take it, you step into the driver’s seat. You get some power back. It’s not a “perfect” fix, but a short break changes the moment and may reduce the power of what is triggering your hunger. It gives you time to refocus and when you refocus you are better able to strategize and to think.

Inserting a short break also allows time for feelings to fade and to shift. Sometimes that can make all the difference in the world.

If you are tired of struggling with emotional eating and overeating and ready to make a change that sticks, the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program shows you how to take control in simple, do-able steps that fit with your needs, your preferences, and your schedule.

Take good care, 

Melissa McCreery

Taking control of emotional eating and overeating is usually a process. Figuring out what to do instead of emotional eating can be tricky, in part because food is so darn easy to turn to and it is so widely available.

If you want to make lasting changes with your eating habits or your weight, it’s important to have two sets of strategies—quick, practical strategies that get you through difficult times, and tools and strategies that help you address the root causes of your overeating—so it doesn’t keep coming back and taking control of your life. I shared tips for creating quick, in-the-moment strategies in my last post. In this post I’ll share why it’s crucial to identify and address the root cause.

Stress eating, anxious eating, eating because you are bored or lonely, eating because you are angry or tense or overeating after a hard day are all types of emotional eating. It’s all too easy to turn to food to try to comfort or to distract or to numb. Food is quick, easy to “apply,” and almost always present. Food often makes you feel good—for a few moments. The problem is, the salve doesn’t last, and, the food doesn’t do anything about really addressing the problem that triggered your eating.

If you are an emotional eater, one of the most empowering things that you can do is stop berating yourself and calling yourself names when you overeat and turn to food. Start by respecting that you do it for a reason. If you can face your desire to eat with respect, you can start to examine what I call the “real cravings” that underlie or trigger your desire for food.

What are you really hungry for? Whether it’s love or respect or stress relief; excitement or comfort,, compassion, or something different, identifying your real craving puts you in the driver’s seat. When you identify and begin to address the root cause of your food attraction, food loses a lot of its power and its hold on you (you might be amazed). Once you are clear that it isn’t really about the chocolate doughnut (or whatever you are craving), your mind won’t be so persistently focused on it. There’s a huge bonus payoff as well.  When you identify the root cause of your emotional eating and start feeding that true craving, not only does emotional eating get better—so does your life. Truly taking charge of emotional eating guides you to address important concerns so that your life works better for you. Creating peace with food really does mean creating a better life.

If you would like an accelerated, step-by-step guide for taking control of emotional eating, in a do-able way, you’ll want to take a look at the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program, my self-guided use-at-home system that walks you through the process of transforming your relationship with food through daily, do-able steps.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

If you struggle with emotional eating: stress eating, boredom eating, comfort eating, frustration eating, or any type of eating designed to help you cope with or avoid your feelings, you know that it can be a difficult habit to break. It’s one thing to identify that you struggle with emotional eating, but even after you have identified the feelings and situations that trigger overeating, it may be difficult to figure out what to do instead of eating when these situations arise.

Of course, you will be more likely to successfully make lasting changes if you have a ready-made list of strategies that you can use when the urge to eat, snack, graze, or binge arises. Unfortunately, when asked to create such a list, it’s pretty common to draw a blank.

What to do instead of something that comes so automatically? That can be a tough one.

Don’t let that dissuade you. If you are trying to kick the emotional eating habit, sit down right now and make a list of ten things you can do instead when the feeling hits. Think about the different situations you might be in—what you can do instead of overeating at work is probably different than what you can turn to to avoid emotional eating in the evening. How do you make such a list? It’s really about trial and error. Without experimenting, you won’t the unique combination of strategies that work for you.

My tips for creating a list of what to do instead of emotional eating:

• Think simple and do-able. You don’t need to eliminate a craving or an urge completely, but you do want to get through it.
• Consider both strategies that help you actively address the emotions you are feeling (stress, anxiety, loneliness, etc.), and, what I call “warm blanket strategies.” These are the strategies you can use when you can’t actively change the situation (maybe you are stress eating at work because you have little control of the demands there) and you simply need some comfort to wrap up in (like a warm blanket). Comfort that is not food. For example, if you are eating because you are lonely, active strategies would attack the loneliness. You might reach out to a friend or spend some time chatting online. A warm blanket strategy would be something kind that you could do for yourself out of compassion for how you are feeling—maybe taking time to read a favorite book or a nonfood indulgence like a warm bath or some new tunes for your mp3 player.
• Don’t be afraid to experiment. To kick the emotional eating habit, you need to get out of the rut of doing things a certain way (turning to food). Consider any way that you can change things up—moving to a different room or location, changing the order of your routine, creating reminders of the new strategies that you want to try. Notice the things that help and keep building on them.

My bet is that you are looking for a solution that lasts—what I often call, peace with food. That’s different from a crash diet that starts with lots of motivation and then, well, crashes. The more you practice looking for what works for you instead of eating, the more you will start to identify solutions. It’s definitely a process, but one that pays off big time.

If you would like an accelerated, step-by-step guide for taking control of emotional eating, in a do-able way, you’ll want to take a look at the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program, my self-guided use-at-home system that walks you through the process of transforming your relationship with food through daily, do-able steps.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

Emotional eating is eating (and overeating) in response to your feelings or emotions. Stress eating, comfort eating, eating when you are anxious or bored or upset are all types of emotional eating. Emotional eating is a major cause of overeating, weight gain, and weight re-gain after weight loss. Because food is so available and so easy to squeeze in to an overloaded schedule, emotional overeating can be a tempting trap for busy high-achievers.

Unfortunately, identifying that you are an emotional eater is not all you need to do to control it. Trying to go “cold turkey” or just “not give in to it” are approaches that usually fail.

If you are an emotional overeater, here are three strategies to help you take control and begin creating new, more effective habits.

1.     Stop

Emotional eating often happens when you are in overdrive. You might be feeling pressured, stressed, or overwhelmed. Maybe you have too much to do or maybe you have a task you aren’t sure how to begin. Perhaps you are exhausted but feel that you have to keep going, or you feel like the way to feel better is to “do” something. These are situations where you might find yourself reaching for chocolate, taking an extra portion, comforting yourself with a special “treat,” or using food to “zone out.”  When you are in overdrive, the idea of stopping, or taking a break may feel very counter-intuitive (and even counter-productive), but believe me, it isn’t.

When you are in overdrive you are not in control. You are reacting to the pressures and demands you feel—probably in an “automatic pilot” kind of way (like mindlessly reaching for a snack you aren’t really hungry for).

Stopping allows you to regain control and make a deliberate choice about your behavior.

Try this: Practice stopping—even for 60 seconds. Take a few deep breaths and tune in to how you are feeling—both physically and emotionally. Whatever you come up with, say it out loud or write it down. “I am tired.” “I am nervous.” My neck is tense.” Now, ask yourself this: “Right now–what do I need? What would help me with the way I am feeling?”

In my next post, I’ll be sharing a few simple tips that can make a huge impact on gaining control of your eating habits.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

Many busy women overeat when they are stressed, too busy, or overwhelmed. Eating as a way to calm down is a common form of emotional eating. In my my last post, I gave you a list of three things to stop doing so that you could start taking to begin taking control of this type of overeating. Now it’s time to fill in the gaps. Here are three things to start doing instead.

1. Do get into the habit of asking yourself how you are feeling before you eat. Create a ritual of checking in with yourself before you reach for a snack, stop by the vending machine, or serve up your plate. Ask yourself both whether you are physically hungry, and what you are feeling emotionally. Don’t worry if you don’t always know the answers. Creating the habit of checking in with yourself and paying attention to your emotions is an important first step.
2. 2. Do create a list of other calming strategies you can start to experiment with. When you aren’t in the midst of a stressful situation, brainstorm some quick, easy ways you might try calming or soothing yourself. Write them down and keep your list somewhere where it is easy to access. Not all your solutions will work in every situation, but that’s okay. You are creating a list of ideas to try. Some solutions others have tried: a few minutes of deep breathing, a walk around the block or even the office, changing tasks, a bath or shower, calling a friend, putting on some music, yoga or stretching, or making a cup of tea.
3. 3. Do give yourself permission for this not to go perfectly and tweak and adjust as you go. The goal is to increase your control and you will do that as you become more aware of the reasons and times that you overeat and other strategies that help you make different choices. Don’t focus on making “perfect” changes, focus on learning about yourself and identifying changes that work for you, your preferences and your life.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

Do you turn to overeating, binge eating, or constant nibbling as a way to calm yourself or cope with stress? This is one of the most common forms of emotional eating, and it’s a situation where many busy women living high-stress lives feel at a loss. I often hear from women who know that eating to calm themselves is contributing to struggles with weight, but they aren’t sure what else to do in situations where they feel anxious, overwhelmed, and usually time crunched. Sound familiar? If so, here are three changes you can start making today to start taking control of your eating—and to actually start creating more of a sense of peace and calm in your life.

1. Don’t use food as a stress reliever. It doesn’t work—at least in the big picture. Many women may feel calmer and more relaxed immediately after indulging. Food may also temporarily distract you from the situation at hand. Unfortunately, the satisfaction is usually short lived. Guilt and self-blame for overeating, or for food choices made in stressed out moments, can result in a vicious cycle of more emotional eating and stress. However, the deeper issue is that using food to cope with emotions of any kind is only a temporary fix. It’s a band aid that doesn’t address or resolve the real issue. Without better strategies, life stays the way it is, and you keep needing band aids—usually on a more and more frequent basis.
2. Don’t multitask while eating. This is so tempting to do—especially when you are busy—but multitasking while we eat prevents us from being fully aware. This means that it’s easy to eat for reasons that aren’t really physical hunger—without even fully registering that this is the choice you are making.  People who eat mindfully (meaning they are fully present and not distracted by other tasks) eat less. They taste their food and are more likely to be aware of how much they are eating. If you give your meals and snacks your full attention, you are also more likely to catch those instances when you are eating to try to calm yourself rather than eating for fuel.
3. Don’t eat on the run. Practice slowing down. If you can’t make the time to feed yourself, something is seriously out of balance. Sure, from time to time, life happens, but if you are feeling that it’s too hard to stop and eat on a regular basis, than this problem is one that needs to be addressed. The act of stopping, focusing, and putting your food on a plate, may actually be the first step you need to take in reversing the cycle of stress and overwhelm.

In my next post, I’ll focus on the next three steps you can try. Let me know what you think.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

If you are an emotional eater, an overeater, a compulsive eater or a constant snacker, you’re probably also an expert dieter. Most women don’t just struggle to lose weight once. We struggle to lose weight, to keep it off, to maintain hard-earned healthy habits, and—too often—we struggle to lose the weight all over again because we’ve regained it.

If you want to avoid the weight loss roller coaster—and the emotional turmoil that can accompany it, ask yourself the following four questions before you start moving forward with your weight loss resolutions.

1.    Why are you in this same place again? In other words, what hasn’t worked in the past? Where have the plans fallen apart? Why did you lose your motivation? What part of past programs just wasn’t possible for you to complete? Be as honest and as thorough about answering this question as possible.  Note: this is NOT an opportunity to beat yourself up. If your first response is something like, “I was lazy and didn’t have enough willpower,” I’m not buying it. What would a plan need to have to keep you energized? What was it about the last approach that led you to run out of steam and stick-to-it-ness?

2.    Do you have the time and energy for this project? Really. If adopting new healthy lifestyle habits is important to you, you’re going to need to carve out some space to do this. Do you struggle to find time to take care of yourself? Are you willing to say no to some things so that you can say yes to what you want? What will you need to let go of to stay on track?

3.    When you stumble, what will help you get back on track? We all have bad days (or weeks or months). You know yourself—what do you need to keep going when the going gets tough? Are you motivated by accountability, rewards, feedback, or something else? Do you need a partner, an emotional eating program, a coach who can help you make peace with food? What benefits or features would help you really create the success you are after?

4.    Are you trying to build a house with only a hammer? In other words, do you need some new tools to craft the success that you crave? The best hammer in the world is pretty useless if what you really need is a screwdriver and the best eating plan in the world won’t teach you how to stop emotional eating (stress eating, comfort eating, boredom eating, etc.). What skills or habits or information would help you feel more confident and prepared to win at weight loss—once and for all?

Remember—you are the expert on you. Don’t let your wisdom go to waste. Use what you know to craft a plan that won’t disappoint or leave you tied up in knots trying to be someone you aren’t. That’s how to create a pathway towards peace with food and weight that stays “lost.”

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery