Too Much on Her Plate

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Is Being “Productive” Sabotaging Your Weight Loss Plan? A Smarter Approach for Busy, Over-achieving Women

April 28th, 2010, No Comments »

If you are an over-achiever in the area of health and weight loss, it could easily be preventing the very goals that you are trying to achieve. Women who are trapped in a cycle of constant activity and “always doing more” end up being exhausted and less productive. Looking for the “perfect” solution and struggling to make changes that don’t fit with your needs and your life can create stress and overwhelm and can even trigger more emotional eating and emotional eating.

Are you ready to get off the diet roller coaster and create a blueprint for success with weight loss and peace with food?

Here are some tips for breaking the over-achieving cycle and creating a path for enduring change:

Start killing the myth that your constant activity is making you more effective and start to identify the price of being an overachiever. Here are some signs to look for: lack of focus, forgetfulness, feeling overwhelmed or stressed, stress eating, overeating at the end of the day (often because you feel too tired to do anything else), starting and quitting one weight loss plan after another, feeling like nothing works for you, a feeling of stress or overwhelm when you think about attempting to take control of your eating.

Be selective about experts and mentors. Start by asking yourself what you already know about your eating and your struggles and what kind of help you are looking for. Remind yourself what you already know about what works—and doesn’t work—for you. Remember, you have more wisdom about yourself than anyone else. Find an expert, mentor, or plan that respects what YOU know and asks you to access your own wisdom—often. Choose one plan or expert to follow and don’t blindly follow anything.

Carve out time to do nothing. Practice breaking the over-achieving cycle and creating breathing space in your life. When we are busy doing, we aren’t really able to tune in and listen to ourselves. When we aren’t doing that, we aren’t able to stay well connected to what we really need. When we aren’t getting what we need, emotional eating is an all-too-easy way to fill in the gaps.  Learn to listen to yourself and to identify what you are really craving (the things you need that aren’t food).

Take on one plan and one do-able change at a time. More is not always better. Often, more is overwhelming and won’t last. Pick lifestyle changes or new ways of eating that are do-able and that work with your life—one at a time. Beware of the voice that tells you you “aren’t doing enough.” Change that feels easy is change that you can stick with and build on. Look for (or create) a plan that allows you to make changes with small structured steps.

Take good care,

Are you an emotional eater ready to make these changes in your life? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series starts soon. This six week program is all about creating a lasting blueprint for successfully taking control of emotional eating—in a do-able way that fits with your unique life. You can find out all about the program here.

Are you overeating to calm yourself? Three easy ways to start fixing the problem

March 31st, 2010, 2 Comments »

Many busy women overeat when they are stressed, too busy, or overwhelmed. Eating as a way to calm down is a common form of emotional eating. In my my last post, I gave you a list of three things to stop doing so that you could start taking to begin taking control of this type of overeating. Now it’s time to fill in the gaps. Here are three things to start doing instead.

1. Do get into the habit of asking yourself how you are feeling before you eat. Create a ritual of checking in with yourself before you reach for a snack, stop by the vending machine, or serve up your plate. Ask yourself both whether you are physically hungry, and what you are feeling emotionally. Don’t worry if you don’t always know the answers. Creating the habit of checking in with yourself and paying attention to your emotions is an important first step.
2. 2. Do create a list of other calming strategies you can start to experiment with. When you aren’t in the midst of a stressful situation, brainstorm some quick, easy ways you might try calming or soothing yourself. Write them down and keep your list somewhere where it is easy to access. Not all your solutions will work in every situation, but that’s okay. You are creating a list of ideas to try. Some solutions others have tried: a few minutes of deep breathing, a walk around the block or even the office, changing tasks, a bath or shower, calling a friend, putting on some music, yoga or stretching, or making a cup of tea.
3. 3. Do give yourself permission for this not to go perfectly and tweak and adjust as you go. The goal is to increase your control and you will do that as you become more aware of the reasons and times that you overeat and other strategies that help you make different choices. Don’t focus on making “perfect” changes, focus on learning about yourself and identifying changes that work for you, your preferences and your life.

Take good care,

Stress Eating? Is Food Your Sedative?

March 29th, 2010, 1 Comment »

Do you turn to overeating, binge eating, or constant nibbling as a way to calm yourself or cope with stress? This is one of the most common forms of emotional eating, and it’s a situation where many busy women living high-stress lives feel at a loss. I often hear from women who know that eating to calm themselves is contributing to struggles with weight, but they aren’t sure what else to do in situations where they feel anxious, overwhelmed, and usually time crunched. Sound familiar? If so, here are three changes you can start making today to start taking control of your eating—and to actually start creating more of a sense of peace and calm in your life.

1. Don’t use food as a stress reliever. It doesn’t work—at least in the big picture. Many women may feel calmer and more relaxed immediately after indulging. Food may also temporarily distract you from the situation at hand. Unfortunately, the satisfaction is usually short lived. Guilt and self-blame for overeating, or for food choices made in stressed out moments, can result in a vicious cycle of more emotional eating and stress. However, the deeper issue is that using food to cope with emotions of any kind is only a temporary fix. It’s a band aid that doesn’t address or resolve the real issue. Without better strategies, life stays the way it is, and you keep needing band aids—usually on a more and more frequent basis.
2. Don’t multitask while eating. This is so tempting to do—especially when you are busy—but multitasking while we eat prevents us from being fully aware. This means that it’s easy to eat for reasons that aren’t really physical hunger—without even fully registering that this is the choice you are making.  People who eat mindfully (meaning they are fully present and not distracted by other tasks) eat less. They taste their food and are more likely to be aware of how much they are eating. If you give your meals and snacks your full attention, you are also more likely to catch those instances when you are eating to try to calm yourself rather than eating for fuel.
3. Don’t eat on the run. Practice slowing down. If you can’t make the time to feed yourself, something is seriously out of balance. Sure, from time to time, life happens, but if you are feeling that it’s too hard to stop and eat on a regular basis, than this problem is one that needs to be addressed. The act of stopping, focusing, and putting your food on a plate, may actually be the first step you need to take in reversing the cycle of stress and overwhelm.

In my next post, I’ll focus on the next three steps you can try. Let me know what you think.

Take good care,

4 Questions to Ask Before You Try to Lose Weight—Again

January 2nd, 2010, No Comments »

If you are an emotional eater, an overeater, a compulsive eater or a constant snacker, you’re probably also an expert dieter. Most women don’t just struggle to lose weight once. We struggle to lose weight, to keep it off, to maintain hard-earned healthy habits, and—too often—we struggle to lose the weight all over again because we’ve regained it.

If you want to avoid the weight loss roller coaster—and the emotional turmoil that can accompany it, ask yourself the following four questions before you start moving forward with your weight loss resolutions.

1.    Why are you in this same place again? In other words, what hasn’t worked in the past? Where have the plans fallen apart? Why did you lose your motivation? What part of past programs just wasn’t possible for you to complete? Be as honest and as thorough about answering this question as possible.  Note: this is NOT an opportunity to beat yourself up. If your first response is something like, “I was lazy and didn’t have enough willpower,” I’m not buying it. What would a plan need to have to keep you energized? What was it about the last approach that led you to run out of steam and stick-to-it-ness?

2.    Do you have the time and energy for this project? Really. If adopting new healthy lifestyle habits is important to you, you’re going to need to carve out some space to do this. Do you struggle to find time to take care of yourself? Are you willing to say no to some things so that you can say yes to what you want? What will you need to let go of to stay on track?

3.    When you stumble, what will help you get back on track? We all have bad days (or weeks or months). You know yourself—what do you need to keep going when the going gets tough? Are you motivated by accountability, rewards, feedback, or something else? Do you need a partner, an emotional eating program, a coach who can help you make peace with food? What benefits or features would help you really create the success you are after?

4.    Are you trying to build a house with only a hammer? In other words, do you need some new tools to craft the success that you crave? The best hammer in the world is pretty useless if what you really need is a screwdriver and the best eating plan in the world won’t teach you how to stop emotional eating (stress eating, comfort eating, boredom eating, etc.). What skills or habits or information would help you feel more confident and prepared to win at weight loss—once and for all?

Remember—you are the expert on you. Don’t let your wisdom go to waste. Use what you know to craft a plan that won’t disappoint or leave you tied up in knots trying to be someone you aren’t. That’s how to create a pathway towards peace with food and weight that stays “lost.”

Take good care,

Stress Related Eating Tip You’ll Want to Savor

November 12th, 2009, No Comments »

Are you experiencing a lot of stress? Are you feeling like your life has too many to-do lists and “shoulds?” I have a relatively painless stress related eating tip for you:

It turns out that maybe you could/should throw in a touch of chocolate.

A clinical trial reported in the American Chemical Society’s Journal of Proteome Research found that eating an ounce and a half of dark chocolate a day for two weeks reduced levels of stress hormones in people who reported feeling highly stressed.

Growing evidence has suggested that dark chocolate may reduce risk factors for heart disease and other physical conditions, and may reduce cravings for sweet, salty or high fat foods. The present study appears to be the first to show reductions in stress hormones and other stress-related biochemical changes in those highly stressed subjects who ate dark chocolate (1.4 ounces) daily, for two weeks.

Enjoy!

4 Tips For Taking Control of Stress Before It Takes Control of You, Your Life, or Your Eating

October 19th, 2009, 2 Comments »

We all know the stress of too much on our plates–too much to do, too much to think about, too many things and people and responsibilities to take care of.

Whether you choose to have a lot on your plate or feel like there is no other option, stress and overwhelm may be a reality–and they take a toll.

Stress and overwhelm prevent us from being and feeling and behaving as our best version of ourselves.  Stress not only feels crummy; many of us react to stress and overwhelm by cutting back and dropping some of the self-care and comfort strategies that benefit us the most and allow us to really shine.

Stress and overload can also lead us to habits such as stress eating, comfort eating, drinking and smoking too much, and sleeping too little.  And the stress that creates can lead to more of the same—a vicious cycle.

Want to do something different?

Here are 4 tips for taking control of stress that you can implement today:

1.    Set Priorities. Take time at the end of each day to identify your top 2-3 priorities for the next day.  Being clear on your priorities creates clarity of mind, focuses your action, and reduces stress.
2.    Avoid Multitasking. Research shows that multitasking does not make us more productive, yet when we’re stressed, there is a temptation to conquer as much as we can at once.  It doesn’t serve us well.  Slow down. Take a deep breath, and focus on doing one thing at a time.
3.    Recognize Signs of Overwhelm. Know what the signs are that your stress level is building.  Are you a stress eater and noticing your eating feels more out of control?  Are you more irritable? Not taking time for the things that you need?  The earlier that you recognize that stress is building, the sooner you can start implementing strategies to do something about it.
4.    Never Underestimate the Power of a Small Pause. Breathe.  Step outside. Take a short walk around the block or your office. Stretch your neck and shoulders and drink some water.  Checking in with yourself for even 60 seconds, several times a day, can help you stay connected with yourself and to what’s important to you.

Take good care,

Stress Eating and the Economy: Tip Three

October 2nd, 2009, 1 Comment »

This is the third in a series of tips on how to take control of emotional eating and stress eating triggered by financial stress or concern.

Emotional Eating Tip Three: Control What You Can

Lots of people are feeling a loss of control these days and that’s leading to more emotional eating and overeating. The economy impacts all of us. If you are feeling less in control, it is important to identify what you can do to begin to feel more in control–because that’s where you want to be.  As you begin to think about this, don’t only think about the big issues and worries.

When life starts to feel out of control, one of the most powerful things we can do is to take charge of the things (big and small) that we can control. Ironically, when life feels out of control, it’s sometimes tempting to throw up our hands and quit entirely. Don’t.

What can you control? What can you take pride in today? Pack a healthy lunch. Walk for twenty minutes after work. Do something kind for yourself this evening. If you are looking for order or predictability, clean out a drawer or your closet. Clear off your desk. Take one proactive action. It will help.

Take good care,

Stress Eating and the Economy Tip Two: Take Care of Yourself

September 30th, 2009, No Comments »

This is the second in a series of tips on how to stop emotional eating triggered by financial worries and stress.

If the economy is causing you stress, you could definitely benefit from comfort.  Comfort eating reaches an all-time high when we are stressed and aren’t feeling entirely sure of (or in control of) the solution to our problems. In order to take control of comfort eating, it’s important to have comfort strategies you can use instead of turning to overeating.  How are you compassionate to yourself during stressful or uncertain times?  How can you take good care of yourself?  Start making a list of things that feel good that you can turn to when you don’t.

Take good care,

Stress Eating and the Economy: Tips to Control Emotional Eating

September 28th, 2009, No Comments »

Worries about money, the economy, income levels, and finances are behind many women’s stress eating and overeating these days.  In a recent group coaching call, every participant’s dominant concern boiled down to money worries of one form or another.  Even if your own financial situation is secure, the worries, stress, and difficulties of others surround us in a big way.

Feeling out of control, anxious, worried, or unhappy are all triggers for emotional eating, so I thought this week I’d share some tips to keep stress about the economy from affecting your actual bottom line.

Stress Eating and the Economy–Tip One to Stop Emotional Eating: Acknowledge the Stress and Your Feelings

As tempting as it is to avoid reality, it’s so important to acknowledge the stress and the way you are feeling.  That doesn’t mean that you are going to dwell on it or feel that way forever, but if you don’t let yourself deal with your feelings directly, you won’t be very effective at responding to them.

One of the members of my Smart Choices Success Circle program had been avoiding getting clear on how her financial situation has been impacted by the stock market.  She was worried and fearful and was trying to cope by “not thinking about it.” Instead of feeling better, she found herself facing mounting dread and guilt for not doing what she knew she needed to do to clarify her situation.  She also found herself snacking more–especially in the evening–and putting on weight.  As this happened, she began to feel more out of control.  Luckily, she saw herself entering a vicious cycle where trying to avoid her feelings led to emotional eating, guilt, and weight gain (and didn’t help with the worry and stress anyway–in fact it added to it).  It wasn’t until she acknowledged how stressed, worried, and fearful she was that she could start to develop a plan to take care of herself.

A coaching client was noticing that economic changes were leading to changes in her clients’ buying habits. She panicked when a popular program wasn’t so popular anymore.  Instead of spiraling into fear (and stress eating), acknowledging how she was feeling allowed her move into some effective problem solving.

Tip: If you have money worries or fears or stress, give yourself some time to let yourself really think about and address your feelings.  This is not the same as “fixing” the situation. Give yourself time to journal, talk with a supportive friend, or think about how you feel.

Take good care,

Stressed With Work? My Favorite Strategy

September 24th, 2009, No Comments »

Why turn to food you aren’t really hungry for when work overloads you?  I have a much better idea.

It has been a challenging few days around here.  I’ve had too much to do.  A backlog of projects for my business, adjusting to back-to-school schedules at home ( and all the events that go with that), and a bunch of unexpected demands, have left me feeling stretched pretty thin. So I’m implementing one of my favorite easy and rewarding self care strategies.

One lovely thing.

The rules: I do one lovely thing for myself—just for me—each day.  It doesn’t have to be anything major, just lovely–and good for my soul.  Today I’m cutting a bunch of incredible smelling lavender and putting it on my desk.

Want to play? What lovely thing can you do for you?