The winter holidays are here and with all the joy and excitement, they also include challenges and realities that can throw your goals, routines, and eating off course. As much as many of us look forward to this time of year, we know that it is stressful and that the food-filled festivities can be a recipe for overeating and weight gain.

The research on holiday weight gain and stress is worth paying attention to. Holiday stress has a particular impact on women, who take charge of many of the holiday celebrations, particularly the tasks related to food.

Women are more likely to report increased stress during the holiday season. Women have a harder time relaxing during the holidays and are more likely to fall into bad habits like emotional eating to manage overload or overwhelm. Our health can take a further hit because, during the holidays, people are much more likely to choose non-active (and ineffective) activities like watching TV, sleeping, eating and drinking to manage their stress.

Many people engage in emotional eating and other unhealthy behaviors to cope with their stress levels during the holidays, and as you probably know, weight gain is a big issue. People gain more weight during the holiday season than any other time of year. It gets worse. We’re less likely to lose the weight we gain over the holidays, and, if you are already overweight, you are likely to gain more weight than average.

I’m not trying to be a downer here, but the holiday season is definitely a time to be proactive if you want to avoid overeating, weight gain, and stress and begin the New Year feeling on track and in control.

Here are five essential ingredients for staying on track with weight, health, and stress over the holiday season:

1. Set a goal. Be clear on what it is you plan to accomplish over the next several weeks. Be realistic; make sure it’s manageable; and be concrete. Your goals don’t have to be huge. Maybe you are going to pack a healthy lunch every day or walk on your lunch hour. Maybe you will only eat dessert on certain days of the week. Pick a goal that fits you and make sure that you can easily tell whether you are on track or not.

2. Create a plan. This is not the time of year to take anything for granted. Make sure you know the how and the when of anything you plan to do. Schedule time for your goals NOW before life gets any busier. Write things down. Identify the steps you will need to take. For instance, if you are going to pack a daily lunch, make sure you have ideas of what you will take, that you have the time to prepare it, and groceries on hand. Set yourself up for success by thinking things through on the front end.

3. Keep it do-able. I’m repeating myself here because it’s important. When you set goals that are too big, you are setting yourself up to fail and to feel ineffective. This is probably not the time of year when you will maximize weight loss, in fact, for many women, the goal may be not to gain. That’s great. Be honest with yourself about what you want to do and what you really can do over the next six weeks. Remember, small changes—the ones you can maintain–can create big results.

4. Savor and be selective. Think about food ahead of time. You probably encounter some special foods over the holidays that you don’t want to pass up. Plan for these, and whatever you do, make darn sure that you stop and savor them (without guilt). You can’t really indulge if you are busy feeling bad or mad at yourself for what you are eating. Make those calories count!

On the other hand, you’re going to encounter lots of unhealthy food you probably don’t really care about over the next few weeks. Consider making some policies for yourself about foods you are willing to forgo. Do you really care about the store-bought dinner rolls or the eggnog? Get clear NOW on what you will happily skip.

5. Commit to me-time. Remember all that stuff about holiday stress? As busy as you may be this holiday season, it’s important to set aside regular time just for you. This will help you manage your stress, stay connected with your needs and your goals, and feel better. You’re likely to be less irritable, more focused, and more productive if you commit to taking regular me-time. As little as ten minutes a day can reduce stress, add ease, and make an incredible difference in how you feel and function.

What are your holiday survival tips? I’d love to hear. Leave a comment and let me know your challenges and how you plan to stay on track this year.

Take good care,

It’s Halloween and the temptation to overeat or eat mindlessly is everywhere. Miniature Snicker bars and candy corn seem to be on every desk and counter, not to mention the stash you may have in your own cupboard…

Is the candy haunting you?

Whether they are treats that you love or ones that trigger childhood memories, odds are that it's easy to grab one or two or four without even thinking about whether you are hungry or whether it fits your goals.

We've entered the holiday treat season and NOW is a good time to ask yourself the following questions:

What’s your plan? How do you want to respond to all the treats you will encounter between now and January 1st?  “Don’t eat them” is not a plan. What strategies do you intend to use to avoid emotional eating, minimize temptation, stay in control of your choices and not feel deprived? Do you have the support and the tools that you need to be effective?

Where are your weak spots and how can you be proactive? Take a careful look at any patterns you see with overeating. Do you feel calm and on track until mid-afternoon or does the chocolate only call to you after dinner? What’s that about? If you’re REALLY feeling haunted and it feels impossible to resist (we’ve all been there), then this is about something more than hunger. What else is going on? Is this emotional eating—stress or comfort or even boredom eating—that you are experiencing? Respond to the situation or the emotion and the food will become less compelling.

What simple policies or structures can you put in place to limit your exposure and make life simpler? Of course you know to get rid of that leftover candy you don’t even like, but what next step could you take? What’s your plan for dealing with the treats?

Any tricks or brilliant strategies you’d care to share with the rest of us?

Take good care, 

Few things can be as frustrating as trying to change overeating habits and a busy lifestyle, multitasking, and being distracted can really get in the way. Food is always available and it’s so easy to reach for food or to overeat without even really knowing why. Every dieter knows how easy it is to start the day with good intentions about portion sizes and food choices only to find yourself having eaten more than you wanted, binged on junk food, or picked away at a plate of cookies that someone brought into the office.

Emotional eating–eating when you are stressed or overtired or even bored can be an automatic response that happens before you are even fully aware that you are doing it. Before you add unhelpful guilt to your list of triggers for overeating or ditching your weight loss plan, know that there is a much more enjoyable alternative. This is part 2 in this series about ways to stop stressing, stop doing too much, and create some inner peace.

Today’s tip for creating less stress and breaking old patterns with food and overeating: eat a mindful meal. It amazes me how many people multitask when they eat. When is the last time that you were fully present with the meal that you were eating? Fully present means that the TV wasn’t on and you didn’t have a book or a computer in front of you. You weren’t working or making lists of things to do. You weren’t driving somewhere or talking on your cell phone. When is the last time that you were fully aware—with all your senses—of each bite that you put into your mouth? When you truly savored every last morsel? When you were one hundred percent aware of what you were feeling and what you were experiencing while you ate?

For many reading this, I know it’s been a long time. Guess what? Mindful eating can be the key to breaking old habits with food and creating new ones. And you can get started almost instantly—as soon as you sit down to your next meal.

How to eat a mindful meal

Take a deep breath or two and allow yourself to really be in your body. Notice how your mind and your body are feeling. Really notice. You may have gone hours without paying attention. What’s on your mind? What emotions are you experiencing? How does your body feel? Are you tense or relaxed? How hungry are you? Where do you feel it in your body?

Put your food on a plate and sit down somewhere where you can enjoy your food without being distracted. Take a few more deep breaths before you do anything.

The goal of mindful eating is to fully experience every molecule of this meal. Savor it. Use all your senses. Slow down. Notice your food before you put it into your mouth. Smell it. Think about the experience you anticipate before your taste buds encounter what you are eating. Take a small bite. Feel it in your mouth. Really taste it. Stop and consider what you taste. Move the food around in your mouth.

How does it feel? Appreciate the flavor, the texture, the smell. Chew it well or let it melt in your mouth. Take your time.

Another goal of mindful eating is to fully experience yourself eating this meal. This might be a very new experience.

Be aware of how it feels to slow down and savor. You might be surprised at emotions that come up. Some women learn that they’ve developed a pattern of eating mindlessly so they won’t be aware of their thoughts and feelings or so they can overeat without really thinking about it. Obviously, that’s not helpful. As you eat, after each bite, ask yourself if you’d like another. Notice how your hunger changes. Notice when you stop savoring. Notice if you start to feel impatient with mindful eating.

As you practice mindful eating, you are likely to notice things about your eating and your relationship with food that aren’t really about the food at all. You may also find that you need some new tools or strategies to replace overeating so that you can be successful in the long term. It’s not necessary to practice mindful eating every single time you eat (although it can be helpful), but it can be very worthwhile to practice eating mindfully at least once a day. Some clients find it very helpful to identify the periods of eating that are the least mindful for them and use mindful eating techniques specifically during those times.

If you would like more help taking control of emotional eating or overeating or focusing on mindful eating tools and strategies, the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program can be a very helpful resource.

Take good care,

Photo credited to Flikr.com/SimonGötz

In this blog post series, I have been addressing the “inner game” of a successful weight loss strategy.  Last time I shared with you a few tweaks that you can make to shift your mindset to achieve lasting results.

THE “SHOULDS”

True change, the kind that you won’t resent and the kind that will last, starts from within. When I note the word “should” cropping up in someone’s weight loss talk, my radar for that fifty pound boulder starts blinking. “I know I should exercise,” “I should be eating more green vegetables,” “I should stop drinking mocha lattes.” “Shoulds” are words of instruction or rules that come from the outside. “Should” is what someone told us to do. A should rarely reflects our own true wisdom, or a belief that we have truly integrated and taken on board. When we really believe that what we are talking about is in our best interest, and will make us happier (by getting us closer to where we want to go), “shoulds” become “wants.” With the exception of the most hardcore disciplined among us, the people who exercise regularly are the ones who have found some joy or purpose that causes them to want to get regular physical activity even if it is simply knowing they will feel better when it’s done.

USE CURIOSITY TO DEVELOP A PLAN THAT HAS MORE “WANTS”

If your current weight loss plan is filled with “shoulds,” use curiosity to examine the places where your plan isn’t working well. Ask yourself how you might tweak it to include more “wants.” It’s often not as hard as you might think. Physical activity planning is a place where this often crops up. “I should be exercising.” When I hear this, I always ask my clients what they want to do with their bodies? When do they enjoy being inside their bodies? What kind of physical activity do they enjoy? Is there a way that those activities could be their “exercise?” You wouldn’t believe how many people pick an activity they hate for exercise, because they think they “should” and then get mad at themselves because they don’t do it. The same strategy is useful with food choices.

Make sure that you are taking your tastes, your schedule, and your style of eating into consideration when you plan your meals. Make sure you are developing a plan that you will want to follow in the future and that works for you. If you find you really must insist on a “should” and there are times when we all need to, then strive to pick the most palatable version of the “should” that you can. Pick the foods, or the activities, or the lifestyle changes that you dislike the least.

To be successful with weight loss, the weight of self-blame and judgment needs to come off first. You don’t need to diet them away, but you do need to learn to set them down. You’ll be amazed how much easier it is to attack the rest of the weight when you aren’t dragging all that unhelpful baggage around.

Take good care,

The next session of the  Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series kicks off next Tuesday, February 23.

I’ve received a number of inquiries about the program and a number of requests for more information about the following:

What kind of results do people get from participating in this program?

It’s a pretty reasonable question and  I realized that I needed to do a better job of answering it.  Because the program really helps you examine YOUR individual situation and work at the pace that works with YOUR life, results vary widely and I’m not sure that there are “typical” results. It’s hard to measure the kind of changes that happen in this program. That said, here are some things you can expect and examples of what others have reported:

• You can expect to get really clear on the root of your struggles with food and overeating. That means getting clear on the things you are REALLY craving and needing (many of them aren’t really food).
• You can expect to learn how to stop blaming or being hard on yourself and how to use more effective strategies to move forward.
• You can expect to learn how to put a stop to the eating that feels out of control or over the top–not by depriving yourself but by using another strategy that REALLY addresses your needs.
• You can expect to learn how to stop getting stuck in the same old places, how to overcome self sabotage, and how to figure out what to do INSTEAD of emotional eating.

Here are some examples of what past participants have reported:

• They figured out that their eating really wasn’t senseless–there was a purpose to it. Once they understood this, they were able to address the REASON for the overeating directly–find a BETTER strategy for dealing with the reason–and get out of the overeating trap.
• They learned how to stop boredom eating (and how to address the boredom). The same can be said for stress eating, anxious eating, comfort eating, etc.
• They started using new tools to stop stress eating at work and to stop overeating the treats people were bringing into the office.
• They got better at saying “no” to things they didn’t want to do that were triggering overeating.
• They developed a plan for night eating, snacking and bingeing.
• They realized that they needed tools for coping with anger and started building better ways of responding instead of eating out of frustration.
• They developed new strategies for rewarding themselves that didn’t involve food.

I could keep going, but I hope you get the idea.

I can’t tell you exactly what YOUR experience would be with the Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series, but I can tell you that if you put in the effort and complete the program, you will learn things about yourself, about your relationship with food, and about how to use new strategies, mindsets, and ideas in a way that will allow you to be more effective and in control.

The program starts Tuesday, February 23, 2010 and there is still time to register and be ready to jump in with us in the first tele-call of the series.

You also still have a chance to grab some incredibly valuable bonuses–including the opportunity to have a personal coaching session with me.

Here’s where you go to get all the information.

Please let us know if you have any questions.

Take good care,

Monday I shared with you why it is so important to identify and address the root cause of your struggles with food, emotional eating and overeating if you want to create an effective, lasting solution. Now, let’s look at your “weeding technique.” How are you at effectively addressing the root of your difficulties?

Here’s what I see. Too often, women gloss over the idea of understanding what is going on with their relationship with food. They look at a checklist and determine that they are an emotional eater, make a quick note of it, and then move on to planning what they will do differently in the future. This time (they tell themselves), they will eat salad for lunch. They won’t snack after dinner, and they will go to the gym on a regular basis. They fail to create a plan to address the real root cause of their overeating.

Planning feels productive and it makes most of us feel effective and in charge. I don’t have anything against plans—as long as they address the root cause that has propeled the problems with food, weight, and overeating in the past.

Too often women shame themselves into thinking that they are “making this too complicated.” They deny themselves the help and support and solutions that could maximize their effectiveness and minimize their struggle because they don’t feel “deserving” or because they have difficulties investing in themselves and making their goals a priority.

Quite simply, many of the women I encounter have a long history of trying very hard to change their relationship with food without the resources they need. No wonder they feel tired, discouraged, unmotivated and skeptical. They’ve been trying to create major life change on a shoestring—and a frazzled one at that.

So here’s the question (and the challenge) of the day: This topic speaks to you, or you wouldn’t have read as far as you already have. When it comes to getting to the root of the cause of your emotional eating or overeating, are you on the premium plan or are you trying to squeak by with the economy, super-saver-free-trial offer? Be honest with yourself. If you aren’t finding the success that you want, it’s cheap and easy (albeit painful) to beat yourself up emotionally for a lack of results.  Does this add to your effectiveness? Not one bit. The alternative that could? Upgrading your attention to the roots.

Ready to make a change? Here’s the challenge: If you were to upgrade your weeding strategy and really address the root cause of your struggles with food, what would that look like? What would you do differently? What new tools would you want to use? What help would you ask for? What resources would you engage?

What step can you commit to taking today?

Take good care,

The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series combines my 28 Day structured and self-guided program with the accountability, motivation, strategies and tips provided in six weekly teleseminars. We’re starting a new session soon. Find out more here.

If I had a dollar for every get-healthy-lose-weight-get-in-better-shape resolution that was sabotaged by all-or-nothing, perfectionistic thinking, I’d be writing this blog from my villa in the south of France. Healthy lifestyle change is quickly sunk by the mindset that if you don’t get it perfect one hundred percent of the time you’ve failed.

It may sound silly when I write it this way, but have you ever:

• Overeaten at the end of the day and then decided that “now that you’ve blown it” you might as well eat some more?
• Lost motivation because you weren’t making it to the gym as often as you’d planned so quit going all-together?
• Decided that since you overate last night and there’s a party on the weekend you might as well wait until Monday to restart your weight loss plan?

These, my friend, are examples of perfectionism. They reflect the philosophy that you have to get it perfect in order to take action at all. Perfectionism also includes the belief that if it isn’t perfect, it isn’t any good.

The problem is, none of us is perfect, we’ll never hit one hundred percent all the time, and if that is our definition of success, we’ll always fall short. For most of us, that’s pretty discouraging—not a great motivator when you’re looking for making changes that you can stick with over the long haul.

My advice: instead of aiming for perfect, aim for doing your best. Know that even the worst choice can be followed by a good one. If you are someone who tends to think of “restarting” and “failing” or “blowing it,” start retraining yourself to think of the goals you are pursuing as long term. You don’t need every step to be brilliant, you just need to keep taking steps in the right direction.

Take good care,

Just thinking about shaping up, losing weight, or eating healthier makes many women exhausted. Changing habits is hard work, but sometimes we approach healthy lifestyle changes in the most difficult way possible. Instead of picking your biggest challenge, consider starting where you know you can be effective, where you can get some lasting bang for your buck, and where you can start growing motivation and momentum.

Here are five relatively painless and struggle-free tips to help you create lasting healthy habits:

1. Get some zzzzzs. Sleep affects just about everything we do and without enough sleep, we all tend to unravel. Inadequate sleep affects your cravings, your metabolism, your energy level, mood, activity, focus and motivation. If you aren’t regularly getting seven hours of sleep a night (or more) this is the first area to address. If you are exhausted and try to keep going, you aren’t likely to be effective and you’ll probably be drawn to mindless “zoning out” activities that are really just busy work. Go to sleep instead.
2. Identify your trouble spots. Don’t just focus on what you want to do. Be smart and identify the things that have led you off track in the past. A positive attitude is great, but a proactive plan for how you will do it differently this time is even better.
3. Grow tools for managing emotions and stress. Emotional eating (including stress eating) is one of the primary causes of overeating, weight gain, and weight regain. Without the strategies you need, stressful situations can trigger very unhealthy (and self-sabotaging) responses such as overeating, smoking, alcohol use, avoidance, or numbing out in front of the computer.  Hard times are also the time when many women abandon or lose track of health, fitness, and wellness goals. Instead of only focusing on what you’ll eat or when you’ll work out, invest some energy in addressing any real issues that are the trigger for the habits you are trying to kick.
4. Don’t lose yourself. One of the biggest reasons that busy women get off track is that they get distracted by other life demands. Designate a time to check in with yourself—at least weekly—and evaluate how things are going. Use this time to schedule the additional time you’ll need throughout the week for exercise, stress relief, meal planning, etc. Post your goals somewhere where you will see them and be reminded of them regularly. Make sure you identify milestones along the way to your big goal and reward yourself for reaching them.
5. Keep it positive. Don’t ignore your mindset—it has the power to impact your mood, your energy level, your choices and your progress. Focus on what you’ve done rather than what didn’t happen. Acknowledge the accomplishments (change is difficult) and celebrate your achievements along the way. Adopt the mantra, “I’m doing my best” instead of “I have to get it perfect” and you’ll be much better prepared to keep going when the going gets tough, recognize your progress and your efforts, and take good care of yourself along the way.

Take good care,

Enjoying  the holidays AND feeling in control with holiday treats and choices can be a challenge—‘tis the season. Clients and vendors are sending boxes of chocolates and holiday treats. Everyone and her mother is baking, the lunchroom has a counter full of cookie trays and everyone’s desk seems to have sprouted a candy jar overnight. It’s wonderful—unless you are trying to lose weight or gain control of emotional eating and overeating.

Here are some tips for staying in the driver’s seat with food and weight during the holidays:

1. Have plans. Make decisions ahead of time about what you are truly interested in savoring and indulging in and the portion that you will take.  For instance, there are certain once-a-year homemade foods and artisan chocolates that I only see in December. I do indulge in these, and I make sure that I mindfully enjoy every bite. On the other hand, I don’t really need to taste the candy canes, colored M&Ms, and store bought desserts that aren’t really that special to me. Knowing I’m going to eat the really special stuff means I don’t feel deprived when I don’t eat the other choices. One more thing–when you do indulge–serve yourself a portion. Don’t just keep going back for tiny tastes. By serving yourself and stopping to eat and really taste it, you’ll enjoy it more and probably eat less.
2. Find solidarity. If you work in an office, I can practically guarantee you that you aren’t the only one who’d like to stay on track with your eating and your weight this season. Can you and your coworkers agree on areas where the food will and won’t be? Can you find a partner to keep you motivated and to talk you down when the food is just too compelling? Someone who’d like to spend their break taking a brisk walk instead of smelling the sugary treats?
3. Don’t go hungry. You’ll eat more and have less impulse control. Make sure that you have healthy and filling options around. I know you are busy, but take the time to pack a healthy lunch.
4. Be aware of the times of day when you are more tempted or more susceptible to emotional eating (stress eating, comfort eating, eating as a pick-me-up). Know the occasions when you might be especially tempted and create a strategy ahead of time that you can implement–instead of overeating.
5. If you do overindulge (don’t we all?) forgive yourself and keep moving forward making the best choices you know how to make. Resist any urge to beat yourself up about it. Self blame tends to lead to emotional overeating or bingeing or all-or-nothing eating (“Now I’ve blown it so I might as well go all out!”). Not helpful.
6. Find other ways to socialize, take care of yourself, or reward yourself that don’t involve food so that avoiding the cookie tray isn’t all about deprivation. What nonfood treat can you have instead of eating food you don’t want to indulge in?
7. Join the party. Share a dish that you want to enjoy and that you really love. It doesn’t have to be dessert–in fact, your colleagues will probably appreciate a break from all the sugar. What about a pot of soup or a favorite tea? This is the time of year I love a bowl of satsumas to snack on.

Take good care,

After my recent post about how to reward yourself and celebrate your accomplishments without using food, a number of people brought up a related issue that is particularly relevant during the holiday season: how to socialize and not become a hermit when you aren’t interested in a lot of social eating and are trying not to overindulge?

Here are fifteen ways to get together with others that aren’t centered around food or eating. Consider these ideas as you consider alternatives to the holiday cookie exchange or the annual book club holiday dessert night. Remember, if you aren’t spending money on food, you may have resources available for other indulgences.

Fifteen ways to get together with others that aren’t centered around food or eating:

1.    Go to a movie. If you don’t buy popcorn, you can probably afford to go at least twice as often.
2.    Attend a football game, hockey game, or other sporting event.
3.    Get outdoors—walk, hike, cross country ski.
4.    Have a scrapbooking, quilting, or other craft get-together.
5.    Play games—chess, poker, board games. Have a game night.
6.    Go Christmas caroling.
7.    Rent movies and watch them together.
8.    Get together with friends to complete your holiday cards or to wrap gifts.
9.    Go shopping.
10.    Have a spa day—either at a spa or throw your own home spa party. Some massage therapists will come to you.
11.    Get a group together to tour an exhibit at a local museum.
12.    Create an event to support a charitable cause, do something helpful for someone in need, rally around a political cause, or something else you are passionate about.
13.    Go bowling.
14.    Investigate local theater.
15.    Go ice skating.

Many people get stuck when they are trying to have fun and be social without throwing food into the equation. Won’t you leave a comment and add your favorite nonfood activities?

Take good care,