The Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series: So What’s It Really About?

February 17th, 2010, No Comments »

actionThe next session of the  Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series kicks off next Tuesday, February 23.

I’ve received a number of inquiries about the program and a number of requests for more information about the following:

What kind of results do people get from participating in this program?

It’s a pretty reasonable question and  I realized that I needed to do a better job of answering it.  Because the program really helps you examine YOUR individual situation and work at the pace that works with YOUR life, results vary widely and I’m not sure that there are “typical” results. It’s hard to measure the kind of changes that happen in this program. That said, here are some things you can expect and examples of what others have reported:

  • You can expect to get really clear on the root of your struggles with food and overeating. That means getting clear on the things you are REALLY craving and needing (many of them aren’t really food).
  • You can expect to learn how to stop blaming or being hard on yourself and how to use more effective strategies to move forward.
  • You can expect to learn how to put a stop to the eating that feels out of control or over the top–not by depriving yourself but by using another strategy that REALLY addresses your needs.
  • You can expect to learn how to stop getting stuck in the same old places, how to overcome self sabotage, and how to figure out what to do INSTEAD of emotional eating.

eevervante-web-imagegifHere are some examples of what past participants have reported:

  • They figured out that their eating really wasn’t senseless–there was a purpose to it. Once they understood this, they were able to address the REASON for the overeating directly–find a BETTER strategy for dealing with the reason–and get out of the overeating trap.
  • They learned how to stop boredom eating (and how to address the boredom). The same can be said for stress eating, anxious eating, comfort eating, etc.
  • They started using new tools to stop stress eating at work and to stop overeating the treats people were bringing into the office.
  • They got better at saying “no” to things they didn’t want to do that were triggering overeating.
  • They developed a plan for night eating, snacking and bingeing.
  • They realized that they needed tools for coping with anger and started building better ways of responding instead of eating out of frustration.
  • They developed new strategies for rewarding themselves that didn’t involve food.

I could keep going, but I hope you get the idea.

I can’t tell you exactly what YOUR experience would be with the Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM) Take Action Series, but I can tell you that if you put in the effort and complete the program, you will learn things about yourself, about your relationship with food, and about how to use new strategies, mindsets, and ideas in a way that will allow you to be more effective and in control.

The program starts Tuesday, February 23, 2010 and there is still time to register and be ready to jump in with us in the first tele-call of the series.

You also still have a chance to grab some incredibly valuable bonuses–including the opportunity to have a personal coaching session with me.

Here’s where you go to get all the information.

Please let us know if you have any questions.

Take good care,

Melissa

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Getting to the Root of Emotional Eating Part Two: Effective Weeding

February 17th, 2010, No Comments »

weedMonday I shared with you why it is so important to identify and address the root cause of your struggles with food, emotional eating and overeating if you want to create an effective, lasting solution. Now, let’s look at your “weeding technique.” How are you at effectively addressing the root of your difficulties?

Here’s what I see. Too often, women gloss over the idea of understanding what is going on with their relationship with food. They look at a checklist and determine that they are an emotional eater, make a quick note of it, and then move on to planning what they will do differently in the future. This time (they tell themselves), they will eat salad for lunch. They won’t snack after dinner, and they will go to the gym on a regular basis. They fail to create a plan to address the real root cause of their overeating.

Planning feels productive and it makes most of us feel effective and in charge. I don’t have anything against plans—as long as they address the root cause that has propeled the problems with food, weight, and overeating in the past.

Too often women shame themselves into thinking that they are “making this too complicated.” They deny themselves the help and support and solutions that could maximize their effectiveness and minimize their struggle because they don’t feel “deserving” or because they have difficulties investing in themselves and making their goals a priority.

Quite simply, many of the women I encounter have a long history of trying very hard to change their relationship with food without the resources they need. No wonder they feel tired, discouraged, unmotivated and skeptical. They’ve been trying to create major life change on a shoestring—and a frazzled one at that.

So here’s the question (and the challenge) of the day: This topic speaks to you, or you wouldn’t have read as far as you already have. When it comes to getting to the root of the cause of your emotional eating or overeating, are you on the premium plan or are you trying to squeak by with the economy, super-saver-free-trial offer? Be honest with yourself. If you aren’t finding the success that you want, it’s cheap and easy (albeit painful) to beat yourself up emotionally for a lack of results.  Does this add to your effectiveness? Not one bit. The alternative that could? Upgrading your attention to the roots.

Ready to make a change? Here’s the challenge: If you were to upgrade your weeding strategy and really address the root cause of your struggles with food, what would that look like? What would you do differently? What new tools would you want to use? What help would you ask for? What resources would you engage?

What step can you commit to taking today?

Take good care,

Melissa

The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series combines my 28 Day structured and self-guided program with the accountability, motivation, strategies and tips provided in six weekly teleseminars. We’re starting a new session soon. Find out more here.

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Emotional Eating and Overeating: Why Getting to the Root Cause is so Important.

February 15th, 2010, No Comments »

root cause of emotional eatingThere are few things more discouraging than battles with overeating, weight loss struggles and weight regain. I’ve seen far too many savvy, wise women lose their confidence and even their hopefulness about their ability to make successful and lasting changes in the way that they eat and in the number on the scale. The guilt and self blame that often follows just makes everything harder.

Here’s the truth. Making successful changes with your eating and your lifestyle requires paying attention to the head game. You can develop all the menus you want, precut and bag your veggies,  and stock up on fruit and protein powder until the cows come home, but if you don’t understand what is driving your eating, what led to any extra pounds you are trying to lose, what contributed to your last attempt at weight loss not working out so well, why the chocolate calls so loudly to you every evening, or why you typically regain any weight that you lose, your efforts aren’t going to pay off the way that you want them to. At least, not in a way that lasts.

Trying to lose weight or “get healthy” by going on a diet is like weeding a garden by chopping the leaves off the weeds. It doesn’t work. If you want to solve either problem in an enduring way, you must deal with the root.

The root is how the weed gets nourishment. With overeating and emotional eating, the root is the real, underlying reason that compels you to overeat or eat differently than you want to and than your wise self tells you that you should. If you don’t identify and figure out how to address the root cause of your overeating, emotional eating, and your battles with food or weight, the chance that these issues will always come back is pretty high.

Dealing with the root is not always quick, simple, or sexy. But it IS fundamentally important. And though it may seem like an overwhelming proposition, the truth is that if you allow yourself the proper tools to do the work involved, it doesn’t need to be a STRUGGLE.

To be continued….

Take good care,

Melissa

Want to move forward? Looking for a plan to address the root of your emotional eating or overeating? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series kicks off soon. Go here to learn more and to snap up some great bonuses just for signing up.

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Emotional Eating and Overeating: What You Need To Know So That They Don’t Sabotage Your Weight Loss Plan

February 3rd, 2010, No Comments »

free teleseminarI’m pleased to announce the next call in the Smart Women’s Teleseminar Series and it might be just the ticket for you if you are finding yourself struggling or veering off track with your New Year’s plan for a healthier lifestyle.

The topic this month:

Emotional Eating and Overeating: What You Need To Know So That They Don’t Sabotage Your Weight Loss Plan

Did you know that emotional eating can be an issue for you and you might not even know it? Or that slowing down and paying attention to emotional eating can help you identify additional triggers that may be fueling your appetite, slowing down your metabolism and sabotaging your weight loss attempts? Join me for this free teleseminar on Tuesday, February 9 at 3pm Pacific/6pm Eastern and you’ll hear:

  • What you need to know about overeating that no diet will address
  • Why most dieters fail
  • The most powerful tool you can use to create permanent weight loss and changes in your relationship with food

… and much more.  I’m also going to be providing information about the upcoming Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series which begins this month.

You can register and get all the information for the free call here.

Take good care,

Melissa

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Is Emotional Overeating Weighing You Down?

January 26th, 2010, 4 Comments »

Are you

  • eating when you aren’t really hungry?
  • struggling with stress or “nervous” eating?
  • circling the kitchen because you can’t find “the thing” that will satisfy you?
  • eating when you are bored, tired, frustrated, or procrastinating doing something else?
  • hungry all the time–no matter what or how much you eat?

If so, it’s worth considering whether emotional eating is getting in the way of your healthy eating and weight loss goals.  We all eat emotionally. We’re encouraged by friends, family, and the media to associate food with all sorts of warm, comfy, delicious things that are not simply a need for fuel. We’re taught to think of “comfort foods” and to reach for certain foods when we want to celebrate or gnaw away our frustrations. Emotional eating is a fact of life for most of us. But if it gets out of hand, it can TAKE the upper hand and become the primary factor behind your weight struggles.
If you are having a hard time with emotional overeating than you know what a vicious cycle it can be to break out of.

Remember that it IS a vicious cycle and apply these strategies to break free of the emotional overeating cycle and start walking a different path.

  1. Call it emotional eating. If you are using food as a tool to cope with feelings or needs, than call it what it is. Once you identify emotional eating, let go of the other names you’ve been using—you know—the ones that leave you feeling awful about yourself, guilty, and maybe even ashamed. The issue is that you are an emotional eater. The issue is NOT that you are lazy, unmotivated, or undisciplined.
  2. If you are going to change a pattern, you need to understand it first. This is why any diet you choose will probably fail you. A diet doesn’t teach you to listen to yourself and understand the pattern of your eating. A diet won’t help you understand what drives you to the kitchen after you’ve already eaten a meal. It won’t help you figure out what you are REALLY craving, feeling, or needing that isn’t even food. Taking the time to understand what’s really going on will help you craft a strategy where you address the CAUSE of your overeating. Programs like the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program can be helpful if you find that you need new tools or strategies to identify what’s going on or help creating alternatives to overeating.
  3. Don’t just say no. No isn’t a strategy. To successfully take control of emotional eating, you’re going to need to decide HOW you’re going to not use food the way you’ve been using it in the past. What’s essential here is knowing what you will do INSTEAD of relying on food. Too many weight loss plans fail because of a lack of this type of planning. Make a list before you start your next weight loss attempt—or better yet—make it now. What are your trouble spots, triggers, and emotional eating cues? What can you try instead of turning to food?

Take good care,

Melissa

By the way, the next call in the Smart Women’s Free Teleseminar Series is all about emotional eating and I’ll be sharing lots more tips and information.

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Overeating, Emotional Eating and Weight Struggles: Do they limit your professional success?

January 11th, 2010, No Comments »

I wanted to share this post from the Solo Entrepreneur blog (Solo-e) on how overeating and weight struggles can keep you from being your best self and the tools busy women need to create lasting changes.

Do your weight loss battles keep you from shining or playing as big as you’d like to? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Take good care,

Melissa

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4 Questions to Ask Before You Try to Lose Weight—Again

January 2nd, 2010, No Comments »

emotional eatingIf you are an emotional eater, an overeater, a compulsive eater or a constant snacker, you’re probably also an expert dieter. Most women don’t just struggle to lose weight once. We struggle to lose weight, to keep it off, to maintain hard-earned healthy habits, and—too often—we struggle to lose the weight all over again because we’ve regained it.

If you want to avoid the weight loss roller coaster—and the emotional turmoil that can accompany it, ask yourself the following four questions before you start moving forward with your weight loss resolutions.

1.    Why are you in this same place again? In other words, what hasn’t worked in the past? Where have the plans fallen apart? Why did you lose your motivation? What part of past programs just wasn’t possible for you to complete? Be as honest and as thorough about answering this question as possible.  Note: this is NOT an opportunity to beat yourself up. If your first response is something like, “I was lazy and didn’t have enough willpower,” I’m not buying it. What would a plan need to have to keep you energized? What was it about the last approach that led you to run out of steam and stick-to-it-ness?

2.    Do you have the time and energy for this project? Really. If adopting new healthy lifestyle habits is important to you, you’re going to need to carve out some space to do this. Do you struggle to find time to take care of yourself? Are you willing to say no to some things so that you can say yes to what you want? What will you need to let go of to stay on track?

3.    When you stumble, what will help you get back on track? We all have bad days (or weeks or months). You know yourself—what do you need to keep going when the going gets tough? Are you motivated by accountability, rewards, feedback, or something else? Do you need a partner, an emotional eating program, a coach who can help you make peace with food? What benefits or features would help you really create the success you are after?

4.    Are you trying to build a house with only a hammer? In other words, do you need some new tools to craft the success that you crave? The best hammer in the world is pretty useless if what you really need is a screwdriver and the best eating plan in the world won’t teach you how to stop emotional eating (stress eating, comfort eating, boredom eating, etc.). What skills or habits or information would help you feel more confident and prepared to win at weight loss—once and for all?

Remember—you are the expert on you. Don’t let your wisdom go to waste. Use what you know to craft a plan that won’t disappoint or leave you tied up in knots trying to be someone you aren’t. That’s how to create a pathway towards peace with food and weight that stays “lost.”

Take good care,

Melissa

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Personal Celebrations: Why You Definitely Should Indulge

December 9th, 2009, 2 Comments »

happy_danceIt’s a common mistake that can take a big toll. I see it over and over again with my friends and clients, and yes, with me too. We may be smart, we may be strong, we may be very comfortable (or think we are) doing a million things at once, but most of us aren’t very good at giving ourselves credit and celebrating our own accomplishments (dare I say, indulging in our just desserts?).

I’ll bet that right now you can easily come up with six things that you need to do or that are bugging you because they are undone. How long does it take you to come up with six recent accomplishments you are proud of? I’ll guarantee you that there are six accomplishments. But it’s likely that that isn’t where you are focusing your attention.

So many of us are great at being tireless, at always being poised to do “one more thing,” that we don’t really absorb the thing we just did and the goal we just accomplished.

We don’t take credit. Often we’ve been taught not to toot our own horn. Many women I know are masters of the “yes-but” that diminishes whatever it is that they just completed and prevents any compliment from really soaking in. Don’t get me wrong. Some of us are great at tooting our horn for anybody else. I know lots of great party throwers. But how many of us really regularly take a bow or reward ourselves for what we’ve done?

Do you know the price that we pay? Not celebrating and not recognizing our milestones diminishes our success. When we skip our own curtain call, we miss out on a great opportunity for rejuvenation. When we don’t give ourselves credit and the celebration we deserve, we are much more likely to burn out or to fall off track. If it’s all work and no play, we’re going to end up feeling deprived and when that happens, we often turn to “vices” (like overeating) because we feel tired and we know we deserve something for all the effort we’ve expended (is that an unjust dessert?). These vices may provide short term relief, but they never really satisfy our craving.

Even the savviest women have trouble with celebrating. Knowing everything I’ve just said, it can still be tempting to skip the step of giving credit, tempting to tell ourselves that the accomplishment is its own reward and that we’ll celebrate next time “because we’re really too busy right now”.  I know.  I’m there too.  But more and more I realize that I’m too busy not to celebrate.

This busy holiday season, don’t forget to celebrate you. Try taking credit for your accomplishments on a daily basis. List them to yourself at the end of the day. Plan rewards and celebrations for the tough or unpleasant stuff you may have to endure—and block out some time so that you can follow through on your plans. Go ahead—indulge!

Take good care,

Melissa

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15 Ways to Socialize That Don’t Involve Food and Overeating

December 7th, 2009, 2 Comments »

playingAfter my recent post about how to reward yourself and celebrate your accomplishments without using food, a number of people brought up a related issue that is particularly relevant during the holiday season: how to socialize and not become a hermit when you aren’t interested in a lot of social eating and are trying not to overindulge?

Here are fifteen ways to get together with others that aren’t centered around food or eating. Consider these ideas as you consider alternatives to the holiday cookie exchange or the annual book club holiday dessert night. Remember, if you aren’t spending money on food, you may have resources available for other indulgences.

Fifteen ways to get together with others that aren’t centered around food or eating:

1.    Go to a movie. If you don’t buy popcorn, you can probably afford to go at least twice as often.
2.    Attend a football game, hockey game, or other sporting event.
3.    Get outdoors—walk, hike, cross country ski.
4.    Have a scrapbooking, quilting, or other craft get-together.
5.    Play games—chess, poker, board games. Have a game night.
6.    Go Christmas caroling.
7.    Rent movies and watch them together.
8.    Get together with friends to complete your holiday cards or to wrap gifts.
9.    Go shopping.
10.    Have a spa day—either at a spa or throw your own home spa party. Some massage therapists will come to you.
11.    Get a group together to tour an exhibit at a local museum.
12.    Create an event to support a charitable cause, do something helpful for someone in need, rally around a political cause, or something else you are passionate about.
13.    Go bowling.
14.    Investigate local theater.
15.    Go ice skating.

Many people get stuck when they are trying to have fun and be social without throwing food into the equation. Won’t you leave a comment and add your favorite nonfood activities?

Take good care,

Melissa

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Holiday Overeating: How Enjoying Your Food Can Limit Overindulging

December 2nd, 2009, No Comments »

j0442702A new study from Texas A & M International University says that on average, Americans consume 619 additional calories a day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. That’s a lot of overeating.

What the study doesn’t explore is how much the average American enjoys those extra calories. Here’s a point to ponder this week. As you are facing the holiday treats, the cookie trays, and the calorie-laden celebrations, how much of the food that you eat are you completely savoring?

One of the excuses we give ourselves for indulging this time of year is that these are special, once-a-year treats. Are you tasting them—or are you mindlessly munching while focused on something else, having a conversation, or just-not-paying-attention?

My guess is that many of those 619 extra calories (per day!) are mindless calories that really aren’t enjoyed, relished, or savored. They are calories we eat because they are there.

My advice: if you are going to indulge, allow yourself to soak it up. Stop. Breathe deep. Taste your food.  Enjoy how it feels in your mouth. Stop before your next bite and ask yourself whether you really want it, whether you are hungry, and whether you are still savoring.

Take your time.

When you are done savoring, stop eating. There will be plenty of opportunities to savor again.

My clients who try this tend to discover two things. First, they enjoy their eating experience much more when they give it their full attention. Second, it’s difficult to overindulge when you interpret indulging as giving food your focused attention, savoring it completely, and stopping when the experience isn’t one hundred percent satisfying anymore.  Many are surprised to find how early on in their eating they actually stop savoring and are simply eating or “finishing” what is in front of them.

Care to try it out?  I’d love to hear what you think.

Take good care,
Melissa

PS: If you could use more help with mindless eating, stress eating, or emotional eating of any type, I highly recommend my Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program.

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