If you read my newsletter, you may have noticed that I’ve been reminding you about the upcoming Too Much on Her Plate Week for a while now and you may be wondering just what it is and why you should care. Well, here’s the scoop.

Too Much on Her Plate Week is an event I created out of appreciation for you. I know you are busy and I am honored that you take time out of your full lives to visit my website, read my articles, and converse with me on Facebook. You are amazing women doing amazing things and I appreciate the opportunity to be a part of your lives.

I also know that for many of you, those lives could be easier. Many of you would love to have things flow better—to have less stress, less clutter, or to have a better handle on certain habits or routines.

In my work, I run across some amazing experts as well—people who have great stuff to offer who are wonderful resources for women with too much on their plates. Too Much on Her Plate Week is my way of thanking you, and, hopefully, adding more ease and joy to your life and your work.

Beginning November 14, my colleagues and I have made available a huge assortment of free gifts for you. No sales pitches, no credit card numbers required. All you do is register and then select the gifts that you want to receive!

Sound good? Keep an eye on your mailbox for news about how to attend. Remember, the doors open November 14 and they will only be open for a week.

Take good care,

PS: Beginning this week, I'll be introducing you to some of the experts participating in Too Much on Her Plate Week by having them guest post, here, on our blog. Let me know what you think!

PPS: This event is open to everyone. If you know a busy woman who might benefit, my best advice is to have her sign up on my mailing list so she will get all the news too. Just send her to http://TooMuchonHerPlate.com
 

It’s Halloween and the temptation to overeat or eat mindlessly is everywhere. Miniature Snicker bars and candy corn seem to be on every desk and counter, not to mention the stash you may have in your own cupboard…

Is the candy haunting you?

Whether they are treats that you love or ones that trigger childhood memories, odds are that it's easy to grab one or two or four without even thinking about whether you are hungry or whether it fits your goals.

We've entered the holiday treat season and NOW is a good time to ask yourself the following questions:

What’s your plan? How do you want to respond to all the treats you will encounter between now and January 1st?  “Don’t eat them” is not a plan. What strategies do you intend to use to avoid emotional eating, minimize temptation, stay in control of your choices and not feel deprived? Do you have the support and the tools that you need to be effective?

Where are your weak spots and how can you be proactive? Take a careful look at any patterns you see with overeating. Do you feel calm and on track until mid-afternoon or does the chocolate only call to you after dinner? What’s that about? If you’re REALLY feeling haunted and it feels impossible to resist (we’ve all been there), then this is about something more than hunger. What else is going on? Is this emotional eating—stress or comfort or even boredom eating—that you are experiencing? Respond to the situation or the emotion and the food will become less compelling.

What simple policies or structures can you put in place to limit your exposure and make life simpler? Of course you know to get rid of that leftover candy you don’t even like, but what next step could you take? What’s your plan for dealing with the treats?

Any tricks or brilliant strategies you’d care to share with the rest of us?

Take good care, 

What do the owner of a 7-figure business, a mom going back to school to begin a new career, a newly divorced professional dynamo, and a fledgling business owner have in common?

• More energy
• A better mood
• Improved relationships
• Less overeating and other unhelpful habits
• And more success?

I’m going to be sharing some of my best tips and tricks for THRIVING in a no-cost webinar next Tuesday, October 4, and I’m inviting you to attend. The presentation is called: How to Prioritize Yourself AND Be More Effective In Your Life. You can attend via phone, Skype, or the internet. I’ll be recording the call and granting access to all who register.

• The hidden (and not so hidden) costs of NOT prioritizing yourself 
• How to eliminate the biggest obstacle busy women face when trying to take better care of themselves and create more me-time
• Five ways you might be sabotaging yourself (and not even know it) 
• Seven things you can start doing NOW to start prioritizing your own needs (even if it feels like you are too busy) 

How can I fit myself in? How can I make time for me? How do I decide what to do when it ALL seems important? “How do I stop snacking when it’s the only treat I get?”

These questions rotate through my email inbox on an almost daily basis. These are concerns that plague many of you and the issue of whether you can find or make time for yourself or whether it’s “okay” to put yourself first (or even put yourself on your to-do list at all) occupies a lot of mental space.

You likely don’t agonize about whether you should say “no” to something in order to have time to fill the gas tank in your car because you know that without gas, the car isn’t going to take you anywhere you need to go. You need fuel to operate and you act accordingly. You get the gas.

It’s not working and it’s time to make some major adjustments.

Start by stopping the questions about “can I?” and replacing them with the statements “I need to” and “I know it’s essential that.”

As in, “I need to allow myself time to eat a healthy lunch” and “I know it’s essential that I take time for a walk today because it helps me feel better and less stressed.” “I need to take a break so I’ll be able to refocus on this project and so I don't resort to nervous eating this afternoon.”

Put yourself on the priority list, not off to the side where you list the extra things that you hope to have time for.

Putting yourself first and taking a stand on your own behalf is a declaration, not a question. It isn’t always easy, but the payoff is huge.

Take good care,

PS: Would you like some structure to help you put yourself first without feeling guilty? Check out my Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off for a simple, do-able way to stop worrying about and start doing self-care.

Are you BEYOND sick and tired of struggling with overeating, stress eating, or of being stuck on the weight loss roller coaster?

Come learn what may very likely be missing from your get-healthy-lose-weight-or-stop-overeating plan. On August 31, 2011 I'm offering a free teleclass:

Emotional Eating Solutions: Why One Size DOESN’T Fit All, Why Smart Women Get Stuck, and Savory Strategies for Success

I'll be sharing:

• Five things every woman who struggles with food or weight needs to know about emotional eating

• Why smart women get stuck, the unique struggles you face with food and overeating, and how to start breaking free—NOW

•  Why one solution doesn’t fit everyone and the exact formula you can use to determine what will work for you

• The ingredients you must have for lasting peace with food and weight loss success

I'll also be sharing information about the emotional eating solutions and resources that I've created and the path to creating real lasting peace with food.

Click here to reserve your no-cost spot.

Take good care,

In the United States, we’re heading into a long holiday weekend. We’re celebrating the 4^th of July, and among other things, the level of freedom and independence we enjoy. These are two big and very powerful values. While we’re celebrating our independence as a nation, I think it’s a great time to take a look at these ideals on a very personal level.

• ·  Trapped by their busy schedules and commitments
• ·  Overloaded by responsibilities and the professional success that they’ve created
• ·  Unclear on how to get from where they are now  to where they REALLY want to be.

• ·  With food or weight?
• ·  Feeling like you never have any time or energy just for you?
• ·  Feeling like you can’t find the motivation you need to make an impact?
• ·  Feeling unsupported or lacking accountability for the things that really mean something to you?

• · “I declare that I’m going to do what it takes to make peace with food and stop struggling with overeating.”
• · “I declare I’m going to start owning my time and scheduling my priorities.”
• · “I declare I’m going to seek out help with_________.”

When WAS the last time you ate because you were physically famished? When was the last time you ate that you weren't?

Emotional eating is a major part of most women’s lives. We’re taught to use food for so many things in addition to fuel. Diets mess with our relationship with food and add so many “shoulds” to the equation that many chronic dieters hardly know if they are hungry or not. They are conditioned to judge their “fullness” by calorie counts, the clock, fat grams, carbs, and other external cues that are not hunger.

A woman who is at peace with food feeds herself in high quality ways (and I'm talking about feeding her spirit and her soul as well as her stomach).

She also allows herself to savor the food and the experiences that she takes in. Eating doesn't trigger guilt or self-loathing and responding to her hunger isn't something she does in secret.

Let’s evaluate your relationship with hunger.

• How do you decide when you are hungry?
• Where do you feel hunger in your body?
• On a hunger scale of 1 (ravenous) to 10 (stuffed to the gills), how hungry do you allow yourself to become before you feed yourself? How full do you fill yourself when you do eat?
• When you determine that you are hungry, how do you decide what to eat?
• How do you tell the difference between physical and emotional hunger?

If your Inner Champion was running the show and helping you live your BEST version of your life, how would you be responding to your physical and emotional cravings? Would it be different?

Learning to prioritize yourself and to claim time for your goals is critical for long term success with health and weight loss.  Staying on track, finding the time, and maintaining motivation can be major challenges when you are trying to develop new habits. It’s all-too-easy for healthy eating, exercise, and self-care activities to slide off the to-do list. You’ve probably been there—you get worn out and lose your motivation or you just can’t figure out how to fit it all in your already busy schedule.

When life gets busy, personal priorities, self-care, or “me-time” may start to feel expendable and to drift off your radar. Many smart, busy people get stuck in the mindset trap of believing that self-care is selfish or a luxury—something you can get to later.

Not true.

Are you putting yourself at the bottom of your priority list?

The way you care for yourself counts and it counts big. The way you prioritize yourself affects your health and fitness goals as well as the time that you can devote to them. It affects your eating. Emotional eating, including stress eating, sky rockets when you aren’t getting what you need in other areas of your life. When you are at the bottom of your priority list, it affects how you show up in your relationships. If you struggle with the (incorrect) belief that making yourself a priority is “selfish,” know that prioritizing your wellbeing sets a powerful example for others in your life.

Taking care of YOU is not a luxury. Like getting regular oil changes for your car, prioritizing your self-care is what allows you to run smoothly and to bring your best to your other priorities and challenges.

The cost of not making and taking time for yourself:

The truth is, when your well-being isn’t a priority, just about everything goes downhill. When you don’t devote time and energy to your needs and your health:

• You have less energy and motivation to follow through on your goals
   
• You are more easily distracted and less focused
   
• Many people tend to turn to “vices” to fill in the gaps that aren’t being filled with in quality ways. Stress eating and other kinds of emotional eating, smoking, drinking too much, wasting time surfing the internet—these are a few things that tend to show up, waste more of your time and energy, distract you, and contribute to a vicious cycle of decreased happiness and less effectiveness.
   
• Stress levels are higher
   
• Sleep is often impaired (or sacrificed)
   
• It’s common to feel deprived, irritable, more easily frustrated, or impatient
   
• Creativity suffers and life usually includes less play and fun
   
• Health is negatively affected

When you’re not a priority, you simply don’t function at your best and your ability to contribute to the world is compromised. If you are trying to lose weight or maintain a fitness routine, without really claiming the necessary time and energy for it, you are sabotaging yourself before you even start.

How to start prioritizing your own needs even if it feels like you are too busy

1. Start claiming 10-15 minutes a day for yourself. It won’t take away from your productivity, it will increase it. Really. Use this time to connect with yourself and to pay attention to how you feel and what you need. Journal, walk, meditate, soak in the tub. Try not to save this for the end of the day when you are too tired to move and your brain has stopped working. Pay yourself first or, if necessary, take a break during your day.
    
2. Adopt the following mantras: “I’m doing my best,” and “I can’t do it all.” They are true. Put them where you can see them and remind yourself of them frequently.
    
3. Create effectiveness in do-able steps. Each evening, identify your top three personal action items for the next day and decide when you will accomplish them. Think do-able. If these daily goals seem overwhelming, make them smaller. A fifteen minute walk that you take is better than the 45 minute one you couldn’t fit in. If possible, knock out your personal priorities early in the day.
    
4. Plan for food that fuels you—especially when time is tight. Don’t skip breakfast, have a plan for lunch, and don’t starve yourself before dinner. Make sure you have the groceries that you need. Choose foods that are appealing. No starvation diets.
    
5. Cut the multitasking. It stresses us out and makes us less effective. Practice focusing on doing one thing at a time. You won’t get it perfect, but that’s okay, remember step number two.
    
6. Take emotional eating seriously. It’s often a signal that life is out of balance and your personal priorities need more attention. Emotional eating happens when our spirit or our life isn’t getting fed the non-food things we need or crave. We have to pay attention and develop other ways of caring for ourselves instead of turning to food, huge changes are possible. This can be complicated but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. If you feel stuck, consider an emotional eating program or coach. There is so much more to life than this vicious cycle.
    
7. Don’t skip #1 (you’ll probably be tempted).

Learning to prioritize your own needs is a process, but you don’t have to get it perfect to see big, far-reaching benefits. Try out these tips and keep me posted on your progress.

Please share: what helps you keep your priorities front and center?

Take good care,

How to Break Free from the Vicious Cycles that Keep You Stuck, Stressed, and Overeating

Here are some tips to help you break free of vicious cycles that keep you stuck with overload, overwhelm, and overeating:

• Before you start, know this: you are a smart woman and you keep running on that hamster wheel for a reason. What keeps you moving forward (and round and round), even though what you are doing isn’t working? Please notice that this is a question that is meant to trigger curiosity—not shame. In fact, leave your guilt, blame, and shame about past failures at the door, because they are the number one emotions for keeping you stuck. Ask this—“What are the forces that have kept you on the hamster wheel?” Have you been operating under a mindset or belief that you “have” to do things a certain way? Is your inner perfectionist telling you that you just need to keep trying the same old, same old until you get it perfect? You never will. Are you stuck in a vicious cycle because you are bending to the expectations of others? Are you trying to do it the way “everyone else” is?

Or, like so many of us, do you keep on doing the same old thing that doesn’t really work because it works a little bit or for a short time and you don’t know what else to do?

The more clarity you can get about what has kept you in this rut, the better you’ll be able to address the feelings, circumstances, and relationships that draw you back to it.

• Breaking free of a vicious cycle, or getting off a hamster wheel, requires stepping sideways instead of pushing forward harder and harder. This means doing something different and stepping outside your comfort zone. Don’t feel like you have to take a flying leap. Even a small sidestep will start breaking the cycle and getting you out of the rut.

What does a sidestep look like? It might be trying new tools, asking for help, changing your routine, or making the decision not to ignore something that has never worked when you’ve tried to make changes in the past.

When you are ready to step sideways, ask yourself, “What can I do differently this time that will help me be more effective? What hasn’t worked well in the past, and how can I address this?”

Note that the two most common mistakes I see people make here are: 

1. Mistaking “I’ll just work harder” as “doing it differently” (it’s not)
2. .Completely neglecting the option of asking for help. Nothing will help you step sideways and create a new approach faster than getting fresh expertise or a new perspective. All too often, we can’t see how we’re stuck because we’re wearing blinders and we don’t even know it.

• You need structure and accountability to keep you in action until your new approach is fine-tuned and familiar. I know I’m not the only one out there who has started something that I loved, enjoyed, and knew was a winning approach only to realize four weeks later it had completely slipped off my radar and I’d forgotten about it completely.

Establishing new habits takes work and persistence. You’ll benefit from strategies and support to keep new intentions “front of mind.” Support or guidance is invaluable for reminding you why this new way is important and how the old way didn’t work. A system for checking in or holding yourself accountable helps you measure progress, catch motivation problems, and stay on track.

Decide what you will do to keep your new approach “front of mind” and on track. Where will you post reminders, how will you stay inspired, and when and how will you track your progress? Don’t neglect these steps. They are the actions that winners take.

• You’re in it for the long haul, not a few short weeks. Creating new pathways for success requires tools and strategies for course-correction and honoring success. I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve worked with who make it off the hamster wheel, get grooving in a new routine that is bringing them the results and satisfaction they used to dream of, and when I ask them about celebrating their achievements, respond by telling me how far they still have to go.

Not stopping to absorb your success and celebrate your progress is leftover residue from being on a hamster wheel. On a hamster wheel, you never get anywhere, and you always have farther to go. There is no reward, only pressure to work harder or move faster.

If you want to break free of vicious cycles and create changes that last, it’s critical that you learn how to recognize your accomplishments and celebrate the milestones along your journey—because you are planning on staying on this path for a very long time. Equally important is finding flexibility to tweak your approach on a regular basis so that it continues to fit you, your preferences and your life.

If this sounds like a foreign language, that’s because, I may be describing skills, strategies, and tools that you haven’t used much or don’t even know about. Creating a new approach when you’ve been stuck in a routine or pattern that didn’t work for you requires a much broader perspective. If you can’t see it yet and feel at a loss about what to do, don’t keep struggling alone, inside your head. That’s the road straight back to the hamster wheel.

Phone a friend. Find a mentor. Hire a coach. Reach out for new tools that expand your possibilities. Change IS possible, but in order to change you must do things differently.