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August 17th, 2010, No Comments »
Recently I heard a productivity expert speak on how to “get things done.” It’s a simple process really. You define the goal, outline the steps, and start moving forward. Easy peasy—right? And yet. There are many smart, informed, high-achievers out there who have set goals for themselves, who have a plan, and who still aren’t getting where they want to go. They aren’t losing the weight or getting fitter, or they are still stressed and overworked. The time they committed to spend on their important project seems to evaporate. Success isn’t happening. And as a result, these savvy people are feeling frustrated, irritated with themselves, and perhaps even guilty or less confident about their abilities. Not a recipe for enhanced productivity is it?
Here’s the truth.
For many of you, it’s not the “how-to” that is the problem. For many high-achievers with a lot on their plates (I may be talking to you here), the problem is the head game. If you are not loving your life or if you are not getting where you want to go, it’s time to check out these five paths to self-sabotage and investigate whether you need to get out of your own way.
Five paths to self-sabotage
1. Self-care makes you squirm. Does the idea of focusing on you leave you intensely uncomfortable? Does it feel over-indulgent, unnecessary, or like a luxury that you are embarrassed to consider? Do you find yourself rolling your eyes when you hear experts talking about “making time for yourself” or “feeding your spirit?” Interesting. What’s even more interesting, is that often those who are the most uncomfortable with the idea of devoting excellent care and attention to themselves are actually excellent nurturers of others. In fact, often, the trap here may be that you are giving all your time and energy away and saving none for you. This is a major problem—for a number of reasons.
Most importantly, self-care is the stuff that fuels us. Feeding our spirits and nourishing ourselves (and I’m not talking about chocolate kisses here), are what replenishes our mojo and our passion. It’s what allows us to be our best and go out into the world and accomplish—not only our goals—but all the great things we want to do for everybody else. Without self-care and self-nourishment, you will be operating at a limited capacity. Here’s the other important part. When you don’t give yourself what you need, you are going to find yourself seeking quick, easy, inferior substitutions. That’s what stress eating and comfort eating are all about. If you have a habit that you aren’t happy with, ask yourself if it exists to make up for something that is missing in your life.
Do you relate with the first path? Next post I will identify a few more paths as well as some simple steps to help you get going in a different direction.
August 9th, 2010, No Comments »
In this blog post series, I have been addressing the “inner game” of a successful weight loss strategy. Last time I shared with you a few tweaks that you can make to shift your mindset to achieve lasting results.
THE “SHOULDS”
True change, the kind that you won’t resent and the kind that will last, starts from within. When I note the word “should” cropping up in someone’s weight loss talk, my radar for that fifty pound boulder starts blinking. “I know I should exercise,” “I should be eating more green vegetables,” “I should stop drinking mocha lattes.” “Shoulds” are
words of instruction or rules that come from the outside. “Should” is what someone told us to do. A should rarely reflects our own true wisdom, or a belief that we have truly integrated and taken on board. When we really believe that what we are talking about is in our best interest, and will make us happier (by getting us closer to where we want to go), “shoulds” become “wants.” With the exception of the most hardcore disciplined among us, the people who exercise regularly are the ones who have found some joy or purpose that causes them to want to get regular physical activity even if it is simply knowing they will feel better when it’s done.
USE CURIOSITY TO DEVELOP A PLAN THAT HAS MORE “WANTS”
If your current weight loss plan is filled with “shoulds,” use curiosity to examine the places where your plan isn’t working well. Ask yourself how you might tweak it to include more “wants.” It’s often not as hard as you might think. Physical activity planning is a place where this often crops up. “I should be exercising.” When I hear this, I always ask my clients what they want to do with their bodies? When do they enjoy being inside their bodies? What kind of physical activity do they enjoy? Is there a way that those activities could be their “exercise?” You wouldn’t believe how many people pick an activity they hate for exercise, because they think they “should” and then get mad at themselves because they don’t do it. The same strategy is useful with food choices.
Make sure that you are taking your tastes, your schedule, and your style of eating into consideration when you plan your meals. Make sure you are developing a plan that you will want to follow in the future and that works for you. If you find you really must insist on a “should” and there are times when we all need to, then strive to pick the most palatable version of the “should” that you can. Pick the foods, or the activities, or the lifestyle changes that you dislike the least.
To be successful with weight loss, the weight of self-blame and judgment needs to come off first. You don’t need to diet them away, but you do need to learn to set them down. You’ll be amazed how much easier it is to attack the rest of the weight when you aren’t dragging all that unhelpful baggage around.
Take good care,
July 8th, 2010, No Comments »
Here is the last post in my series about finding time for YOU–but the conversation doesn’t need to stop here. What tips or ideas would you add? What works for you? Click the “comment” link and let us know!
It’s important to be honest with yourself. What’s really keeping you from getting the time and space that you need? Don’t stop with an explanation of the circumstances—yes-you-have-a-stressful-job-and-you-have-three-cats-and-two-dogs-who-need-walked-and-three-children-that-need-you-and-the-bathroom-needs-painted (or whatever your story is). But why does that prevent you from getting the time and space you need to be fueled and at your best? The story that traps many women is, “I’ve got so many responsibilities that I can’t possibly take the time for me.” I know, you may believe that story. But that story is a conversation stopper and it won’t get you anywhere but worn out and cranky.
That story is only one possible story. Here’s another one: “I am currently living an incredibly challenging life and I have a lot that I am responsible for right now. That means that I am extremely valuable, and I need to be taking the best possible care of myself so that I can live up to the demands of this situation or be focused and savvy enough to change things in a way that works better for my life. My energy and time are like gold and I’ve got to nurture them. “
Feel the difference?
Our stories guide us. What story is keeping you stuck and how could you rewrite it?
Take good care,
Need some help creating YOUR story and your formula for thriving? That’s one of the pieces covered in my brand new Success Soundtrack program.
June 30th, 2010, No Comments »
Just in time for summer and quick reading: a series on finding time for YOU. How lovely is that? I’m keeping my posts short and to the point so both us us can enjoy a bit more sun and a tad more me-time. If you missed part one of the series, you can find it here.
Tip Two: Say “No” So You Can Say “Yes”:
Superwoman is a myth. None of us can do it all. We CAN do amazing things, but only if we are clear on our priorities and spend our time and energy accordingly. We cannot stretch time, we can only spend it wisely. Unfortunately, some high-achievers are notoriously bad at saying “no” and lose a lot of time on activities that aren’t in alignment with who they want to be. You might recognize the signs:
If these signs ring a bell—well—you might want to flex your “no” muscles because they probably need some strengthening.
Today’s coaching challenge: What will you say “no” to so that you have room for more “yes?”
Take good care,
June 6th, 2010, No Comments »
Self- care and me-time are simply not indispensible. In fact, making time for yourself is actually an essential ingredient if you want to thrive in your life and your business.
Here are four steps to creating time for yourself and the benefits they can lead to in your business and your life:
Creating Me-time can be a challenge for many women juggling their own businesses and their busy lives, but doing so is more than a worthwhile investment.
Take good care,

PS: DON’T let your busy life stop you! Making and taking time for yourself doesn’t require hours and hours. My new get-down-to-business Success Soundtrack(TM) gets you into action creating more ease, flow, me-time AND success in just ten minutes a day.
April 28th, 2010, No Comments »
If you are an over-achiever in the area of health and weight loss, it could easily be preventing the very goals that you are trying to achieve. Women who are trapped in a cycle of constant activity and “always doing more” end up being exhausted and less productive. Looking for the “perfect” solution and struggling to make changes that don’t fit with your needs and your life can create stress and overwhelm and can even trigger more emotional eating and emotional eating.
Are you ready to get off the diet roller coaster and create a blueprint for success with weight loss and peace with food?
Here are some tips for breaking the over-achieving cycle and creating a path for enduring change:
Start killing the myth that your constant activity is making you more effective and start to identify the price of being an overachiever. Here are some signs to look for: lack of focus, forgetfulness, feeling overwhelmed or stressed, stress eating, overeating at the end of the day (often because you feel too tired to do anything else), starting and quitting one weight loss plan after another, feeling like nothing works for you, a feeling of stress or overwhelm when you think about attempting to take control of your eating.
Be selective about experts and mentors. Start by asking yourself what you already know about your eating and your struggles and what kind of help you are looking for. Remind yourself what you already know about what works—and doesn’t work—for you. Remember, you have more wisdom about yourself than anyone else. Find an expert, mentor, or plan that respects what YOU know and asks you to access your own wisdom—often. Choose one plan or expert to follow and don’t blindly follow anything.
Carve out time to do nothing. Practice breaking the over-achieving cycle and creating breathing space in your life. When we are busy doing, we aren’t really able to tune in and listen to ourselves. When we aren’t doing that, we aren’t able to stay well connected to what we really need. When we aren’t getting what we need, emotional eating is an all-too-easy way to fill in the gaps. Learn to listen to yourself and to identify what you are really craving (the things you need that aren’t food).
Take on one plan and one do-able change at a time. More is not always better. Often, more is overwhelming and won’t last. Pick lifestyle changes or new ways of eating that are do-able and that work with your life—one at a time. Beware of the voice that tells you you “aren’t doing enough.” Change that feels easy is change that you can stick with and build on. Look for (or create) a plan that allows you to make changes with small structured steps.
Take good care,
Are you an emotional eater ready to make these changes in your life? The Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series starts soon. This six week program is all about creating a lasting blueprint for successfully taking control of emotional eating—in a do-able way that fits with your unique life. You can find out all about the program here.
April 19th, 2010, No Comments »
This is the fourth post in my series about spring cleaning for those of us with too much on our plates. How are you cleaning up your life, habits, and routines? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.
Spring Cleaning: Sprucing upWhat in your life could use a fresh coat of paint or a complete overhaul? What “spruce up” would make your life fit better?
Are you wearing clothes that make you feel good? Do the places where you spend your time create the mood you want them too? Do you take the time to cut flowers from your yard, light a candle for yourself, or sit down to a well-set table? Is that pile of papers on your desk driving you nuts?
What about relationships? Are you getting the support and friendship that you need or is this an area of your life you’d like to renovate? How’s your physical health? Do you have a healthy lifestyle plan and is it one that puts a smile on your face or is it feeling boring and tired? How could you spice things up or rejuvenate your passion? Could you use a mentor, a partner, or a new approach? What sounds like FUN?
Now’s the time to think about the new stuff you might want to bring into your life. Don’t let this be stressful. Start by noticing what you want and make a list of all the “spruce ups” and additions that you’d like to make. Save this list. It’s fine to tackle this one step at a time.
Take good care,
April 15th, 2010, 2 Comments »
This is the second in my series of blog posts about spring cleaning for those of us with too much on our plates. Share a comment or thought–what are you clearing out?
Spring Cleaning: Ready to dump the nonproductive habits that are holding you back?Cleaning out a closet or a drawer feels rewarding, but what about looking at the habits and routines that are cluttering up your life and not getting you where you want to go? Take inventory of how you are really spending your time—that’s the true indicator of your priorities. What are the time and energy wasters in your life? Make a list. Include them all. Don’t worry yet about what to do about them, just take inventory. Creating your plan of attack is the next step. If you don’t see an immediate way to fix the situation, I suggest you brainstorm. Could you delegate? Redesign the task? Eliminate it all-together? If not, how could you add more joy or make it more pleasant (never underestimate the power of good music while doing anything unappealing).
Look carefully for time wasters—activities that use your time and energy and don’t pay you back in any way. Are you spending too much time online, keeping up with email or doing mindless activities? Have you gotten out of the habit of going outside and into the habit of too much TV? Make a new list of the habits you want to eliminate AND the new habits you plan to replace them with.
Take good care,
March 31st, 2010, 2 Comments »
Many busy women overeat when they are stressed, too busy, or overwhelmed. Eating as a way to calm down is a common form of emotional eating. In my my last post, I gave you a list of three things to stop doing so that you could start taking to begin taking control of this type of overeating. Now it’s time to fill in the gaps. Here are three things to start doing instead.
Take good care,
March 29th, 2010, 1 Comment »
Do you turn to overeating, binge eating, or constant nibbling as a way to calm yourself or cope with stress? This is one of the most common forms of emotional eating, and it’s a situation where many busy women living high-stress lives feel at a loss. I often hear from women who know that eating to calm themselves is contributing to struggles with weight, but they aren’t sure what else to do in situations where they feel anxious, overwhelmed, and usually time crunched. Sound familiar? If so, here are three changes you can start making today to start taking control of your eating—and to actually start creating more of a sense of peace and calm in your life.
In my next post, I’ll focus on the next three steps you can try. Let me know what you think.
Take good care,
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