Mind clutter—a mind overflowing with thoughts, worries, projects, to-do lists, feeling and ideas—leads to a lot of problems. Mind clutter contributes to overload, stress, procrastination, lack of focus, burnout, clutter outside your mind, and emotional eating and overeating.

Overeating, or reaching for food when you aren’t really hungry, is a common response to feeling overloaded, ineffective, or short of time. And that’s how too much mind clutter can leave you feeling.

It’s easy to become caught in a vicious cycle (I call it the hamster wheel), when your mind is on overload. It can be tempting to resort to stress eating, or to overeat because you feel too overwhelmed to really take care of yourself. Overeating adds to any feelings of being out of control (and now having one more thing to deal with). You have so much in your head that you feel like you don’t have time or the mental space to do more than react, and you soon overeat again. Maybe this time you aren’t craving comfort, but you want an energy boost, or a reward, or a distraction.

The point is, the cycle of mind clutter contributing to emotional eating contributing to mind clutter continues, and you stay stuck. Plus, it feels awful.

My suggestion? When you focus on tools to stop overeating, don’t ignore the mind clutter. Taking control of the overwhelm can create a profound shift in both your emotional eating and your life.

Here are some tips to get started.

• Don’t rely on your memory. It doesn’t matter how well it works. The point is, it takes a lot of energy and creates stress when you store too many details, events, and things to do in your brain and expect yourself to be able to track them. Like a computer screen constantly being “refreshed,” you are continually going through the act of sorting through what you need to remember, prioritizing, and making decisions. That’s a lot of work. Write everything down. Designate one place (one notebook, app on your phone, or file on your computer) and do a brain dump of everything you are thinking about or worrying about daily. Now you don’t  have to remember it anymore.

See the mental space you just created?

• Create a punch list. This is not a comprehensive list of everything  that you want to accomplish in the next six months. This is the list of 1—3 priority action items you are giving your attention today or this hour or for the next fifteen minutes. Choose a time frame that works for you and honor that important task or experience with your full attention.

•  Give your brain downtime. Too much clutter creates anxiety and tension. It does not encourage restfulness and relaxation. But a periodic “reboot” is exactly what you need to get off the hamster wheel. Give yourself at least 7 ½ hours of sleep and aim to spend at least ten minutes a day simply “being” and tuning in to the world around you.

 Giving your mind practice at being calm instead of spinning at top speed is a good thing.

Addressing mind clutter creates a shift from being caught on the hamster wheel to being proactive and in charge. That’s where overload begins to dissolve, and peace with food and all the good stuff that comes with it, really begins.

Take good care,

If you are you a busy woman, a business owner, or mom with too much on your plate, here are three easy ways to start moving from stress and overload to ease, abundance, and success.

1. Set the tone. Your busy brain finds and collects the information that it’s looking for. If you want to spend your day focused on stress and overload, begin by worrying about what you haven’t done. Want more ease and calm? Set an attitude focused on accomplishment and positivity.  List three things you are grateful for before you even get out of bed and review three things that you WILL accomplish today. Put on music that inspires and create and live in positive energy.
2. Don’t ignore the food and don’t deprive yourself. Ease and calm require consistent fuel. Eat something for breakfast that has protein in it. This will tide you over much better than a bagel or a bowl of cereal or the nothing that you usually feed yourself. Give yourself a short deadline (two minutes is plenty) and decide NOW what you will have for lunch and dinner if you don’t already have a plan. Unmade decisions create stress. Hunger and low blood sugar lead to bad decisions and (often) overeating.
3. Slow down. Rushing, even when you are busy, rarely makes anyone more productive. Focus does. Hold on to your vision of ease and calm and your three priority tasks. Do one thing at a time. In a world of mutitasking and Twitter, giving your whole self over to a task can be grounding and even meditative. Really. Ask yourself throughout the day where you want to place your energy in this moment. Close down the other windows on your computer, let your phone go to voice mail, and let the other tasks wait until it is their turn. Enjoy the job you dive into, the feeling of undivided attention, the conversation you have while being fully present, and the lunch you get to savor.

This is the only life you are going to live today. Be in it.

How do you release stress and create calm and ease in your busy life? Share your thoughts and ideas by leaving a comment.

Take good care,

Stop “not thinking about it.”

How often do you end up shoving your plans and priorities or even your thoughts and feelings to the back burner because there are so many other things you feel responsible for?

Guess what? “Not thinking about it” doesn’t work. It’s also a way of not taking yourself seriously.

I hear it all the time from clients:

“I don’t want to feel angry.”

“There’s nothing I can do about it so I eat.”

“I’m trying not to focus on it.”

Denying your thoughts and feelings is a major source of stress, a major cause of emotional eating, insomnia, procrastination, misplaced irritability and problems focusing.

Here’s another important piece of information (especially for all you high-achievers and perfectionists!):

Taking your thoughts and feelings seriously doesn’t mean you have to know what to “do about them.”

Too many of you are prolonging your stress and creating problems for yourself because you’ve decided—“It’s pointless to think about this because I can’t do anything about it.”

Important feelings and thoughts don’t go away just because you ignore them. Too often they build up, get tangled up around other issues, and trigger self-sabotaging behaviors like stress eating, comfort eating, avoidance, lack of motivation in other areas . . . you get the picture.

Here’s your bite-sized challenge for today. I want you to separate the process of acknowledging and respecting your feelings from the task of problem solving.

Today—right now if you can—start a list of everything that you are currently tolerating. Everything you can think of that is sub-optimal, isn’t working for you, is driving you crazy, causing you stress, distress, sadness, or just bugs you a teensy tiny bit.

Put it on a list. Nothing is too small or too outrageous. If it helps to compartmentalize, make separate lists. I have one for work and one for my personal life.  Start the list and add to it as things occur to you. Then watch what happens.

I’m going to predict at least two results.  Once you start noting things like this—actually writing them down—you are automatically paying more attention to your feelings or needs. This is the opposite of the head-in-the-sand approach. Take note of where it leads you. Most people find that noting what they are tolerating causes them to be more aware of what they want and what they don’t want. You’re also likely to find that simply putting some of these items on your list seems to lead to easy resolution. The truth is, sometimes the act of saying, “this doesn’t work for me.” Is enough to create change.

Make your list and see what happens. Leave a comment and share your experience.

Take good care,

I’ve had many emails and conversations related to my recent post about how we underestimate what we can accomplish in a year. Some of you told me you appreciate the reminder. Others shared that the idea of thinking about setting and accomplishing twelve month goals feels overwhelming and even scary. Someone said that thinking about all that it would require to succeed at her goal feels like “too much work.”

Goals are important, but life is too short not to feel like YOU are in charge of it.

Goals can be valuable, but don’t let a time frame short circuit your creativity or your dreams. Some busy women have an over-developed “let’s-be-realistic gene” that keeps their lives and even their relationships and professional pursuits too small.

This IS the month where everyone is talking resolutions, goals, and how to succeed. And while there is potential value in all of this, I want to encourage you to take a giant step back—or more accurately, up. Imagine yourself talking a helicopter ride up above “reality” or zooming out from your current perspective with a wide-angle lens. Take a step back from the day-to-day of your life and allow yourself to see and think big.

Never fear, there is no to-do list attached.

If your goal is to create your very best version of your life, your goals and pursuits should not be a reaction to what feels realistic or possible or even allowed. I’m going to challenge you to start from a different place entirely—the driver’s seat.

Set “reality” to the side for now. Grab some paper and something to write with. Forget about what’s possible and what else you “need to do.” Stop worrying about money, schedules, and other people and any limiting or “controlling” factors that come to mind.

Spend some time brainstorming what you really want.

No worries about how to make it happen.

Simply—what do you want?

Who do you want to be?

What do you want to do or create or achieve?

The idea is not to get caught up in when or how or if. The goal is to allow yourself to paint a picture—as clear as you can of who you want to be and where you want to head. Don’t worry about the next steps just yet.

I’d love to hear what you come up with!

Take good care,

PS: Some of you may find it challenging to get the time you need to brainstorm and even think about where you really want to go. If this is you, the Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off can make a huge difference–your commitment? Just a few minutes a day.

Happy New Year!

I’m back in the office today after taking two weeks off to spend time with family, enjoy the holidays, unwind, and relax. My mind is full of new ideas and I am so excited about the possibilities that 2012 holds for all of us.

I have a message to deliver. You are capable of more than you think. And it gets even better. Odds are, you are capable of accomplishing amazing goals with less stress, and more ease than you currently see possible. If you are overwhelmed, overloaded, or overeating it’s very likely that you can untangle some stuff, have less stress, do less, and create better results. Not by working harder, but by taking simple, do-able steps that make sense for your life.

I’d love to help you keep a focus on this kind of focus in 2012. This year, I’ll be in more frequent touch, with bite-sized tips and information to help you break free of the three Os (overload, overwhelm, and overeating) and create more ease, joy, and success.

January is a month when there is a lot of momentum and emphasis on moving AHEAD, starting new things, and setting intentions, goals, and resolutions for the year ahead. I hope that as you do this, you also spend some time reflecting on the twelve months that have just passed. Here is what I know. We underestimate what can happen in twelve months when we look ahead, and when we look back, we often forget much of what we have done.

For some of you, it’s much easier to see what you didn’t accomplish in 2011 than what you did.

Please don’t stop there.

As you dive into this New Year, I want to encourage you to do some reflecting.

Make a list about 2011. Include everything you can think of that you accomplished, everything significant, life or lifestyle changing that happened, and anything that you survived or overcame. Take note of where you spent your time and energy. Write it all down. You might be surprised.

Don’t stop yet.

Go back through your calendar from 2011 and remind yourself where you were and what you were doing eight, nine, and twelve months ago. Get a clear picture of where you were last January. You might be surprised. When I reviewed my year, I find all sorts of growth and changes that had become so routine that I had stopped noticing them. New habits, new ways of eating, heck—I moved my office in 2011 and radically changed my work schedule. It works so well, I almost forgot to add it to my list of accomplishments!

Last January, I had a vague goal of “someday” running the New York City marathon. In February, I had the unexpected opportunity to work with world-class coaches who encouraged me to set a clear plan for doing so. In May, I ran a half marathon I’d never thought of running with the goal of finishing with a time that qualified me to run in New York City (this was a time goal I had never thought possible for myself). Running that time was amazing. And in November, I accomplished another huge goal. I hit the streets of New York City and ran in a race I’d dreamed of running for years. I never dreamed all that would happen back in January, 2011. But it did.

Don’t forget the positive changes that you’ve maintained over the past year. Sometimes it takes great effort to keep things the same. Have you kept weight off, maintained a fantastic relationship, stuck with your yoga practice or your commitment to me-time? These accomplishments count and they count big.

I’m betting some things have changed or you did some things you forgot about in 2011. If you are like me, you may have accomplished major goals that weren’t even on your radar twelve months ago.

My point is this—don’t sell yourself short. Knowing what you are capable of and knowing what you have done and have endured or survived can be a major source of power and confidence as you step into your bold new year.

I will never encourage you to live in the past, but I want you to take from it what can propel you in the directions that you want to go.

What did you almost take for granted about 2011? What unexpected fantastic new living may await you in 2012?

Take good care,

Maybe you haven’t lost the weight you committed to lose this year. The days are shorter and you aren’t exercising the way you planned. Or perhaps holiday overeating is well underway and you’ve decided it’s hopeless—for now anyway. Are you one of the many women who is now ending her sentences with the phrase “in January” or “after New Year’s”?

• “I’m going back to the gym . . . in January.”
• “I’m going to get back to (fill in your favorite weight loss plan here) . . . in January.”
• “After New Year’s, I’m going to get serious about my eating/stress/_______.”
• “I know I’m an emotional eater and I’m going to get some help with that . . . in January.”

Yes, it’s the holiday season, and for many of you it’s busy or challenging in its own way. And in spite of what you may be thinking, it’s exactly NOT the time to give up on yourself or to put yourself on hold. In fact, you have three weeks of your year remaining. This is time when you can have an impact, nurture some new habits, and prevent yourself from having to dig yourself out of a hole come January 1st. And guess what? It’s possible to do all this without adding to stress and overwhelm.

How to jumpstart your success before the New Year

You doubt me don’t you? The truth is, the holiday season may not be the time to overhaul your life or your habits, but it’s a fine time to start building the kind of incremental change that can work wonders—because this is exactly the kind of change that tends to last. Instead of throwing your priorities to the wind or declaring that there is “no time for me,” this is a time when you can start to build your sense of effectiveness in small but powerful ways.

Your December Jumpstart has two steps

Pick the area of your life that you’d like to focus on. Eating? Managing stress? Physical activity? Self-care? Now think small and think do-able. What’s one small consistent step that you can and will commit to over the next three weeks? This should be something that you want to start or some fragile habit that you want to commit to nourishing and maintaining. If you feel doubtful about your ability to take this step, you aren’t thinking small enough.

Warning: Thinking small is a real challenge for many of you because you are high-achievers. You are likely to devalue small steps and automatically double them. Don’t do this. It won’t work for a jump start.

• Examples of a small step:
• Taking your vitamins every day.
• Drinking eight glasses of water a day.
• Taking a ten minute walk at lunch.
• Spending five minutes every morning writing in your journal.
• Asking for help with something once a day.

Choose the small step that you will commit to and simply start moving forward.

Another warning: You may be tempted to choose many small steps. Again, one small step may not seem like “enough.” The truth is, huge change is built on the backs of small consistent steps, AND taking on too many things at once can lead to a breakdown in all of them. If you are tempted, you can choose two or three small steps, but no more.

Step Two: Commit to me-time.

If you aren’t already doing this, this may be one of the most valuable steps you ever take. And if you start doing this now, you are going to be well on your way to a powerhouse of a new habit by January 1.

Here are the rules of the Jumpstart: commit to taking ten minutes a day connecting with yourself. That’s it. Ten minutes listening to you. It might be ten minutes of quiet meditation, ten minutes of journaling, yoga, or stretching. Maybe you’ll do it on a ten minute walk or while drinking your morning coffee.

Don’t over complicate this, and don’t underestimate its power. These ten minutes will help you stay clear on your priorities, your feelings and your needs. They can help you identify what is going well in your life, what’s stressing you out, and how you want to respond. These ten minutes have helped many women before you with everything from emotional eating, relationship stress, procrastination, overload, overcommitment, and a general lack of mojo.

Yes, you can throw in the towel, call it a year, and check back in with yourself on January 1st. But what might you accomplish if you start really learning the art of do-able self-care today?

Take good care,

Photo Credit

The winter holidays are here and with all the joy and excitement, they also include challenges and realities that can throw your goals, routines, and eating off course. As much as many of us look forward to this time of year, we know that it is stressful and that the food-filled festivities can be a recipe for overeating and weight gain.

The research on holiday weight gain and stress is worth paying attention to. Holiday stress has a particular impact on women, who take charge of many of the holiday celebrations, particularly the tasks related to food.

Women are more likely to report increased stress during the holiday season. Women have a harder time relaxing during the holidays and are more likely to fall into bad habits like emotional eating to manage overload or overwhelm. Our health can take a further hit because, during the holidays, people are much more likely to choose non-active (and ineffective) activities like watching TV, sleeping, eating and drinking to manage their stress.

Many people engage in emotional eating and other unhealthy behaviors to cope with their stress levels during the holidays, and as you probably know, weight gain is a big issue. People gain more weight during the holiday season than any other time of year. It gets worse. We’re less likely to lose the weight we gain over the holidays, and, if you are already overweight, you are likely to gain more weight than average.

I’m not trying to be a downer here, but the holiday season is definitely a time to be proactive if you want to avoid overeating, weight gain, and stress and begin the New Year feeling on track and in control.

Here are five essential ingredients for staying on track with weight, health, and stress over the holiday season:

1. Set a goal. Be clear on what it is you plan to accomplish over the next several weeks. Be realistic; make sure it’s manageable; and be concrete. Your goals don’t have to be huge. Maybe you are going to pack a healthy lunch every day or walk on your lunch hour. Maybe you will only eat dessert on certain days of the week. Pick a goal that fits you and make sure that you can easily tell whether you are on track or not.

2. Create a plan. This is not the time of year to take anything for granted. Make sure you know the how and the when of anything you plan to do. Schedule time for your goals NOW before life gets any busier. Write things down. Identify the steps you will need to take. For instance, if you are going to pack a daily lunch, make sure you have ideas of what you will take, that you have the time to prepare it, and groceries on hand. Set yourself up for success by thinking things through on the front end.

3. Keep it do-able. I’m repeating myself here because it’s important. When you set goals that are too big, you are setting yourself up to fail and to feel ineffective. This is probably not the time of year when you will maximize weight loss, in fact, for many women, the goal may be not to gain. That’s great. Be honest with yourself about what you want to do and what you really can do over the next six weeks. Remember, small changes—the ones you can maintain–can create big results.

4. Savor and be selective. Think about food ahead of time. You probably encounter some special foods over the holidays that you don’t want to pass up. Plan for these, and whatever you do, make darn sure that you stop and savor them (without guilt). You can’t really indulge if you are busy feeling bad or mad at yourself for what you are eating. Make those calories count!

On the other hand, you’re going to encounter lots of unhealthy food you probably don’t really care about over the next few weeks. Consider making some policies for yourself about foods you are willing to forgo. Do you really care about the store-bought dinner rolls or the eggnog? Get clear NOW on what you will happily skip.

5. Commit to me-time. Remember all that stuff about holiday stress? As busy as you may be this holiday season, it’s important to set aside regular time just for you. This will help you manage your stress, stay connected with your needs and your goals, and feel better. You’re likely to be less irritable, more focused, and more productive if you commit to taking regular me-time. As little as ten minutes a day can reduce stress, add ease, and make an incredible difference in how you feel and function.

What are your holiday survival tips? I’d love to hear. Leave a comment and let me know your challenges and how you plan to stay on track this year.

Take good care,

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

When it comes to weight loss and trying to change habits like overeating, or other unhealthy habits, too many busy women know exactly how true this quote can feel. The plan, idea, goal, or fitness plan might sound good, it might even feel like a good thing at first, but too often, the change you are trying to make has slipped away or drowned in your full schedule of responsibilities and commitments.

Each time this happens, it becomes more difficult to get motivated to try again one more time. Confidence falters. It all feels more daunting. It’s enough to make many reach for a chocolate chip cookie . . .

Change isn’t easy. Habits take time to develop and it takes a while to develop new tastes and preferences and routines—but millions of successful women will tell you that change IS possible. If you’ve been on the weight loss hamster wheel for a while, it might be hard to believe that lasting change happens. But please know that it does. I’m not talking about holding on by willpower and the skin of your teeth—I’m talking about making changes that go so deep that you rarely think about how it was before, because the new habits and changes you’ve created have just become a part of who you are.

I’m talking about changes that last. They are possible. I’ve made them and I delight in seeing my clients make those enduring changes too.

That said, there are a few tricks or secrets to keeping your goals on your radar and staying in action.

Here are four strategies you definitely want to use if you want to achieve your weight loss, health, or wellness goals:

• Schedule yourself and pay yourself first. This is the step that sounds like a no-brainer and it’s also the one that many of you reading this will think you can skip. If you don’t skip it, you may be tempted to “do it in your head.” This means, you’ll make a mental note of when you will set aside the time to do the workout or cook the healthy meal, or take the me-time but you won’t officially put it in your schedule. No one will know your plan is there, and you are likely to find that it is easily pushed to the side when something else comes up. Treat your commitment to you as something as valid and legitimate as you treat your commitments to others. Not only should you be formally scheduling time for you, you should pay yourself or put yourself first. Make sure to schedule your needs in early at the time that works for you (probably not at the end of the day when you’ve given all you’ve got away and are completely out of mojo). Once you have your me-time commitments scheduled, allow your life to flow around them. This will probably feel much different than trying to squeeze yourself into nonexistent cracks in your life!

• Find the right people. Although you may feel shy or self-conscious, going it alone is almost never the best option when you want to set yourself up for success. Whenever possible, find at least one other person who can be a companion on this journey. You want to focus on finding someone who is at least as motivated as you are. Your goal is to have someone else who will inspire, motivate, provide accountability, and hopefully, make this all more fun. Beware of choosing people who aren’t committed to succeeding. This is not a time that you want to spend with whiners or naysayers. In addition to a companion, you also want to look for someone who is ahead of you—someone who has found success or has the tools and expertise that you need. One of the easiest things you can do to be successful is to set yourself up with someone who can provide direction and show you that success is possible. There is no need to reinvent the wheel when others have gone before you.
   
• Be concrete. Be really clear with yourself about what you expect to do and to accomplish. If you focus on “getting to the gym more” or “eating less” you are more likely to be wishy-washy in your actions and unclear about what you are really accomplishing. If you are going to stop eating after dinner or start packing a lunch or go to the gym every Monday and Wednesday and Friday morning, you will know whether you are on track.

  This is another success secret that many women find themselves resisting. When I say be concrete, I mean write out your goals and the action steps you are willing to commit to. Keeping them “in your head” or “knowing what you need to do” doesn’t work as well. There is one more important reason that you want to be concrete and clear. It helps if you tend to be too hard on yourself. As long as your goals and steps are do-able, you won’t be able to deny the fact that you are accomplishing something. Giving yourself credit for steps achieved is important to creating lasting change.

• Create rituals. Successful business owners rely on systems. So do most busy people. Interestingly, even the most organized and systematic often ignore this success secret when it comes to taking charge of their own weight or wellbeing. The easiest way to create lasting success is to keep it simple and avoid having to make more decisions or tough choices than you have to. One way to avoid this is to create rituals or habits or routines around the changes you are trying to make. Set aside a regular time for journaling or meal planning. If you are chronically sleep deprived, set some ground rules related to when you WILL go to bed. Create a systematic way of making sure you have the groceries that you need, a standing date with your support buddy or coach. Focus on creating systems that allow your action steps to flow.

I’ve already warned you. These tips are very powerful and deceptively simple. If you are tempted to nod your head knowingly and still skip them, it means you need them more. Put these strategies in place and your hard work will take place on a much stronger foundation.

Take good care,

A success ritual I strongly recommend is taking a few minutes of time to connect with yourself and set your course at the start of every day. My fully downloadable Success Soundtrack™ program helps you do just that. If you’d like to be able to hit “play” on your mp3 player and spend ten minutes getting clear on your intentions, your action steps, or your plan for being effective. This is the resource that I recommend.

If you read my newsletter, you may have noticed that I’ve been reminding you about the upcoming Too Much on Her Plate Week for a while now and you may be wondering just what it is and why you should care. Well, here’s the scoop.

Too Much on Her Plate Week is an event I created out of appreciation for you. I know you are busy and I am honored that you take time out of your full lives to visit my website, read my articles, and converse with me on Facebook. You are amazing women doing amazing things and I appreciate the opportunity to be a part of your lives.

I also know that for many of you, those lives could be easier. Many of you would love to have things flow better—to have less stress, less clutter, or to have a better handle on certain habits or routines.

In my work, I run across some amazing experts as well—people who have great stuff to offer who are wonderful resources for women with too much on their plates. Too Much on Her Plate Week is my way of thanking you, and, hopefully, adding more ease and joy to your life and your work.

Beginning November 14, my colleagues and I have made available a huge assortment of free gifts for you. No sales pitches, no credit card numbers required. All you do is register and then select the gifts that you want to receive!

Sound good? Keep an eye on your mailbox for news about how to attend. Remember, the doors open November 14 and they will only be open for a week.

Take good care,

PS: Beginning this week, I'll be introducing you to some of the experts participating in Too Much on Her Plate Week by having them guest post, here, on our blog. Let me know what you think!

PPS: This event is open to everyone. If you know a busy woman who might benefit, my best advice is to have her sign up on my mailing list so she will get all the news too. Just send her to http://TooMuchonHerPlate.com
 

What do the owner of a 7-figure business, a mom going back to school to begin a new career, a newly divorced professional dynamo, and a fledgling business owner have in common?

• More energy
• A better mood
• Improved relationships
• Less overeating and other unhelpful habits
• And more success?

I’m going to be sharing some of my best tips and tricks for THRIVING in a no-cost webinar next Tuesday, October 4, and I’m inviting you to attend. The presentation is called: How to Prioritize Yourself AND Be More Effective In Your Life. You can attend via phone, Skype, or the internet. I’ll be recording the call and granting access to all who register.

• The hidden (and not so hidden) costs of NOT prioritizing yourself 
• How to eliminate the biggest obstacle busy women face when trying to take better care of themselves and create more me-time
• Five ways you might be sabotaging yourself (and not even know it) 
• Seven things you can start doing NOW to start prioritizing your own needs (even if it feels like you are too busy)