Have you ever wished you had your own personal easy button (you know, to make your life easier)?

For busy high-achievers, life certainly has its moments. And sometimes, with all our big ideas, big projects, big goals, and big lives, life can seem . . . hard. 

Okay, not seem hard. Sometimes it’s a really difficult challenge. But here’s the thing. We don’t like to believe or admit this, but for many busy women, WE are the biggest obstacle to a life with more ease and less stress. It’s true. A lot of the time, with a few simple tweaks and adjustments, life could be easier. Heck, even the tough stuff could be less of a struggle.

Without making it too complicated, here are a few ways you might be able to make your life easier, less stressful, and more fun.

1.      Preserve your brain space. In a complicated life, your brain, your thoughts, and your mental energy represent valuable real estate. Don’t waste this on places that don’t matter. Consider what you can ritualize or turn into a routine or system that doesn’t require a lot of thought. For example, plan your menus weekly instead of feeling overwhelmed each evening with the “what’s for dinner?” question, then save your grocery lists and weekly menus until you have four or five weeks of them. You’ll never have to start planning from scratch again—unless you want to.

Make it easy: What routine tasks stress you out and how could you create a better system or routine for getting them done (preferably in batches)?

2.      Prioritize and schedule. Before you dive into your day, it’s worth taking ten minutes to plan for success. Identify both what your priorities are and when you are going to make the time for them.

Make it easy: What important to you that’s always falling off your radar? Ask yourself whether you’ve really designated a place for it in your life. If you haven’t, do so now.

3.      Gather your mojo. Even the hardest jobs get easier when we have reasons for doing them that inspire action and passion. If you need convincing, just think of the people who run into burning buildings to save someone trapped inside. A compelling “why” will allow you to move mountains. It will also help you move past fears of public speaking, procrastination, and even weight loss plateaus. If you are feeling stuck or uninspired or paralyzed, try asking yourself why you are attempting what you are attempting. Why is it important? What is the result you are seeking? What possibilities or options will completing it create? If that reason isn’t compelling enough, dig deeper.

Make it easy: Are there areas of your life where you are stuck or uninspired but feeling pressured to do “it” anyway? Dig for your “why.” Keep digging until you discover what it is and you can approach the job with the sense of meaning or importance it has for you.  If you can’t come up with a compelling enough reason to move forward, it’s worth asking why you are pushing yourself to do it.

4.      Ask for help. This is the place where I find the most instant ease. It seems so obvious, but it’s also a place we tend to overlook—all the time. Other people have answers and skills and talents that we don’t have. It’s more fun to do something difficult in the company of others. It’s also a whole lot easier not to get trapped in mindsets that sabotage us when we are moving forward with someone else.

Make it easy: Where are you flying solo when you might really benefit from delegating, bringing in a partner, a mentor, an expert, or a friend?

5.      Approach yourself and your life with kindness. Ditch the perfectionism. Reward your progress and recognize your efforts. Treat yourself as you would a good friend or your mother—and pay attention if that’s entirely different from how you normally judge and talk to yourself. Be open to tweaking and readjusting instead of trying to force things to happen. See your progress as an experiment. Be open to what works, and see what doesn’t as an opportunity to self-correct, not as a failure.

Make it easy: Are there places where your own harshness or your strict expectations are getting in the way of you feeling at ease to move forward? Where does it currently feel like you are “forcing” or struggling when maybe you could change your approach and find an easier path?

There are so many ways that we can over-complicate things or sabotage ourselves. The good news is, there are just as many ways that we can step out of our own way and lighten our own load. I’d love to hear from you. What have you found makes the tough stuff easier? Leave a comment and share your success and your favorite strategies.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

How to get rid of mental clutter and create more success

Is your brain working for you or against you these days? Whether you are trying to reduce stress, take more time for yourself, stop overeating, or simply enjoy life more, if you don’t believe you can, you probably won’t. March is National Nutrition month and the theme this year is one I love—Get Your Plate in Shape. While the holiday itself is promoting good nutrition, whenever I hear the slogan I think of everything we have on our plates and how essential it is to take charge of our thinking and our lives if we want to get healthy, get happier, or yes, even stop overeating. One key piece of this process is addressing mental clutter.

My good friend Lorie Marrero teaches people how to de-clutter by going on a Clutterdiet®. It’s a great metaphor because we all know how clutter can bog down our lives and lead to stress and feeling overwhelmed (and if you are looking for help in this area, I strongly recommend Lorie’s program). Clutter goes deeper than our surroundings though. As we head into spring, I’d like to support you in something much bigger than airing out your home and clearing out your closets. While the results from these actions feel great, I’d like to suggest that you can get even bigger results if you focus first on de-cluttering your brain, refreshing your mindset, and doing a bit of internal spring cleaning.

Ready to get started? Grab something to write with.

Simple steps to start de-cluttering your brain and refreshing your mindset (so you can make healthy changes):

Let’s start by clearing out some of the overwhelm, time pressure, and to-do list clutter. What are your top 1-4 priorities for the next 30 days? Write these down. Do you know what you need to do to address these? If not, where will you get help? If you know what you need to do, have you allotted time for this in your schedule? If you haven’t, do this NOW. Break things down into even smaller chunks. What is your priority for today? If you haven’t already, assign the space you need to devote your energy to it.

Take charge of the mental clutter that can drain your energy. What is draining your energy or your motivation? List anything that is getting in your way, anything that you are tolerating that isn’t working for you, anything that is distracting you or wasting your energy or focus. Now comes the hard part. Imagine that I’m standing next to you as your life coach. Our aim is to make your life work for you in the best way possible. I challenge you to write down an action next to each item on your list of energy drains. Your choices might be:

1. Stop wasting my time on this. Stop participating in this activity, relationship, etc.
2. Delegate this to _______________________
3. Postpone dealing with this until _______________________
4. Set a date for resolving this and put it in my calendar here:________________
5. Put this on my master to-do list to get to at some future date (and stop worrying about it now)
6. Limit the time and energy I give to this to (choose a specific amount of time or specific hours of the day or month) ___________________________________
7. Acknowledge that this is something I will choose to focus on until (specific date) _______________________ because _____________________________
8. Change the way I’m addressing this by _____________________________

The point of this de-cluttering is to own where you are spending your time and energy.

Take control of mental static. Take a few minutes to breathe deeply and be present with yourself. Stop and consider the words that most frequently flow through your head and the way that you talk to yourself throughout the day. What are you saying and thinking? Be honest here. Write down whatever comes to mind.

Your soundtrack takes up powerful real estate. The way you speak and think to yourself will impact your confidence, your motivation, your energy, and your focus. As you know, we tend to see what we are looking for. If you are living your life in a place of stress and overwhelm, you are likely to notice and collect more of this and miss out on a lot of good stuff that can make life feel good.

Start a collection of messages you want to have in your head—mantras, reminders, encouragement that will help you stay motivated and feel positive. Write these down too. Consider placing these where you will see them and be reminded of them frequently. Choose your most powerful positive message and set a goal of writing it (by hand) ten times a day to help get it ingrained in your mind.

Examine your beliefs. What do you believe about your ability to be successful with stress, with your ability to stop overeating, or with your ability to achieve your current goals? Take some time to really think about this because your beliefs underscore everything you do. Do you have a clear vision in your mind of you crossing the finish line and a belief that you will accomplish your goal? Be honest here. This is a critical piece of mind clutter—because if you don’t see yourself as having the potential to succeed, than your attempts are like rolling a boulder uphill against whatever mindsets and negative beliefs you are fighting.

Write down any negative mindsets you are aware of that are blocking your path. Common examples are “I’ll always be overweight,” “I’m just lazy,” or “I’m not (fill in the blank) enough to (fill in your goal).”

The first step is to understand that these mindsets are roadblocks. The next step is to begin to challenge them. Begin by crafting statements that are positive instead of negative and that focus on what you do believe is possible for you. Don’t worry if your positive beliefs and confidence in yourself starts out small. You will build these over time by focusing on what you can do instead of on what you don’t believe or have confidence in.

Now, you’re ready to start taking daily do-able action. Get a colorful pad of sticky notes and put it in your workspace. At the start of every day, I challenge you to write down your three priority action items, your positive belief or positive intention for the day, and one lovely thing you will do for you. Attention high-achievers: If it doesn’t fit on that sticky note, you are probably biting off too much!

De-cluttering and de-stressing shouldn’t overwhelm your life. Give yourself time to play around with these steps. Pay special attention to any steps that are difficult for you—these are almost always the areas that need the attention most. If you find yourself getting bogged down repeatedly, get some help. You’ll almost always be able to upgrade your thinking and your actions much more quickly and get on the road to making powerful changes in much less time.

Take good care,

PS: All of our coaching and products address mindset and “mental clutter” because I believe healthy thinking is the foundation of lasting healthy lifestyle change. Here are my favorite quick-start tools for brain de-cluttering:

The Success Soundtrack™: Discover and dissolve the big five mindsets that sabotage smart high-achievers and start creating more ease, focus, and success in ten minutes a day.

The Get OVER Overeating 7 Day Jumpstart: Get your mindset, your habits, and your strategies in place to take charge of overeating and emotional eating.

The How to Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off: Learn how to put yourself first and prioritize your needs and wants without feeling selfish.

Melissa McCreery

When life gets busy and you get stressed, it’s natural to look for ways to be more efficient and add more ease. The tendency is to look for things you can eliminate. Unfortunately, sometimes this doesn’t work out so well. One way to have less stress and overwhelm is to be clear on the activities and routines that are essential to preserve.

Here are eight things you don’t want to do when you are stressed out and short on time—and some tips on how to make them happen.

1. Cut back on sleep. As tempting as it may be, sleep is not the place to try to save time. Seven and a half hours seem to be the magic number. If you are getting less than this on a regular basis, you aren’t going to be as effective or creative, you are likely to be hungrier, and have a lower tolerance for stress. NOT what you want when life is demanding.
    
2. Cross yourself out of your schedule. When you are looking at an over-full calendar, it’s tempting to see your own stuff as expendable and put yourself last. Too often it’s the stuff that keeps you functioning (sleep, exercise, healthy meals, stress relieving activities) that are the first things crossed off your schedule. You know better. Instead of eliminating the good stuff, consider cutting back if you have to. Shorter workouts, simple fast meals, quick phone calls to friends, and less aiming for perfection in areas that don’t really matter.
    
3. Multitask like crazy. Multitasking requires your brain to work in more than one direction at once. Guess what—it can’t do that. So instead of being “efficient,” you end up asking your brain to switch back and forth between tasks. Neither gets the attention it deserves. Is it okay to clean the sink while you’re on hold with your cell phone provider? Of course, but multitask with care.
    
4. Eating on the go. This is a form of multitasking. You should know that women who eat while they are doing something else tend to eat more and feel less satisfied with what they have eaten. Make the shift to viewing your mealtime as an opportunity to get grounded and be present with yourself. That’s the kind of multitasking that works. Savor your food and allow yourself to enjoy the calories. Pay attention to how you are feeling, whether you are hungry or full, tense, relaxed, anxious, or bored. Practice asking yourself what you need that is not food. It only takes a few minutes and it can make all the difference in the rest of your day (as well as with your eating and your weight).
   
   
5. Skip the pre-game planning. When life is crazy, it’s tempting to just jump in and start moving. The problem is, we all know how easy it is to spend a day working hard and still not really feel like we’ve accomplished much. Investing ten minutes on the front end of your day to get clear on your priorities, adjust your mindset for success, and address any potential hurdles will be worth its weight in gold–and it will probably save you stress and time in the long run.
    
6. Underestimate the power of ten. Have you noticed that many of the things I’m reminding you not to skip can be done in small ways? If you are telling yourself, “I don’t have time,” ask yourself whether you can think smaller. Don’t get caught in the high-achiever head trap of all-or-nothing-thinking. Just because you don’t have time for an hour-long cardio workout doesn’t mean you can’t go for a ten minute walk. Five minutes of journaling might untangle your brain. A ten minute email might get you the help or the answer you need to save hours. Taking ten minutes to transition after work might save you a pre-dinner pig-out session with the holiday cookies. When you’re stressed and overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to allow yourself a little breathing space.
    
7. Go it alone. “It’s quicker for me to do it myself” is the phrase that leads to a lot of unnecessary stress. It may seem like it in the moment, but trying to do everything will set you up for vicious cycles of overload and overwhelm. Ask for help. Be specific. If you can’t be specific, tell someone you trust, “Is there a way that you could help with this?” You may just be amazed at the results you get.
    
8. Skip meals. “I didn’t have time for lunch” often leads to an evening of eating that feels out of control. If you manage to control your eating, you’re likely to feel tired, edgy, headachey, and no fun. Remember the ten minute rule. If you have a list of quick, healthy options, eating doesn’t take a lot of time. If you don’t have a list, make one now. Five to ten things you can grab that will keep you fueled and on track. Keep it simple—tuna, Greek yogurt, almonds, cheese sticks. Stuff that will stay with you and won’t lead to a blood sugar slump in the afternoon or evening.

What must-dos keep you on track when life threatens to pull you off course? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

The winter holidays are here and with all the joy and excitement, they also include challenges and realities that can throw your goals, routines, and eating off course. As much as many of us look forward to this time of year, we know that it is stressful and that the food-filled festivities can be a recipe for overeating and weight gain.

The research on holiday weight gain and stress is worth paying attention to. Holiday stress has a particular impact on women, who take charge of many of the holiday celebrations, particularly the tasks related to food.

Women are more likely to report increased stress during the holiday season. Women have a harder time relaxing during the holidays and are more likely to fall into bad habits like emotional eating to manage overload or overwhelm. Our health can take a further hit because, during the holidays, people are much more likely to choose non-active (and ineffective) activities like watching TV, sleeping, eating and drinking to manage their stress.

Many people engage in emotional eating and other unhealthy behaviors to cope with their stress levels during the holidays, and as you probably know, weight gain is a big issue. People gain more weight during the holiday season than any other time of year. It gets worse. We’re less likely to lose the weight we gain over the holidays, and, if you are already overweight, you are likely to gain more weight than average.

I’m not trying to be a downer here, but the holiday season is definitely a time to be proactive if you want to avoid overeating, weight gain, and stress and begin the New Year feeling on track and in control.

Here are five essential ingredients for staying on track with weight, health, and stress over the holiday season:

1. Set a goal. Be clear on what it is you plan to accomplish over the next several weeks. Be realistic; make sure it’s manageable; and be concrete. Your goals don’t have to be huge. Maybe you are going to pack a healthy lunch every day or walk on your lunch hour. Maybe you will only eat dessert on certain days of the week. Pick a goal that fits you and make sure that you can easily tell whether you are on track or not.

2. Create a plan. This is not the time of year to take anything for granted. Make sure you know the how and the when of anything you plan to do. Schedule time for your goals NOW before life gets any busier. Write things down. Identify the steps you will need to take. For instance, if you are going to pack a daily lunch, make sure you have ideas of what you will take, that you have the time to prepare it, and groceries on hand. Set yourself up for success by thinking things through on the front end.

3. Keep it do-able. I’m repeating myself here because it’s important. When you set goals that are too big, you are setting yourself up to fail and to feel ineffective. This is probably not the time of year when you will maximize weight loss, in fact, for many women, the goal may be not to gain. That’s great. Be honest with yourself about what you want to do and what you really can do over the next six weeks. Remember, small changes—the ones you can maintain–can create big results.

4. Savor and be selective. Think about food ahead of time. You probably encounter some special foods over the holidays that you don’t want to pass up. Plan for these, and whatever you do, make darn sure that you stop and savor them (without guilt). You can’t really indulge if you are busy feeling bad or mad at yourself for what you are eating. Make those calories count!

On the other hand, you’re going to encounter lots of unhealthy food you probably don’t really care about over the next few weeks. Consider making some policies for yourself about foods you are willing to forgo. Do you really care about the store-bought dinner rolls or the eggnog? Get clear NOW on what you will happily skip.

5. Commit to me-time. Remember all that stuff about holiday stress? As busy as you may be this holiday season, it’s important to set aside regular time just for you. This will help you manage your stress, stay connected with your needs and your goals, and feel better. You’re likely to be less irritable, more focused, and more productive if you commit to taking regular me-time. As little as ten minutes a day can reduce stress, add ease, and make an incredible difference in how you feel and function.

What are your holiday survival tips? I’d love to hear. Leave a comment and let me know your challenges and how you plan to stay on track this year.

Take good care,

Melissa McCreery

If you read my newsletter, you may have noticed that I’ve been reminding you about the upcoming Too Much on Her Plate Week for a while now and you may be wondering just what it is and why you should care. Well, here’s the scoop.

Too Much on Her Plate Week is an event I created out of appreciation for you. I know you are busy and I am honored that you take time out of your full lives to visit my website, read my articles, and converse with me on Facebook. You are amazing women doing amazing things and I appreciate the opportunity to be a part of your lives.

I also know that for many of you, those lives could be easier. Many of you would love to have things flow better—to have less stress, less clutter, or to have a better handle on certain habits or routines.

In my work, I run across some amazing experts as well—people who have great stuff to offer who are wonderful resources for women with too much on their plates. Too Much on Her Plate Week is my way of thanking you, and, hopefully, adding more ease and joy to your life and your work.

Beginning November 14, my colleagues and I have made available a huge assortment of free gifts for you. No sales pitches, no credit card numbers required. All you do is register and then select the gifts that you want to receive!

Sound good? Keep an eye on your mailbox for news about how to attend. Remember, the doors open November 14 and they will only be open for a week.

Take good care,

PS: Beginning this week, I'll be introducing you to some of the experts participating in Too Much on Her Plate Week by having them guest post, here, on our blog. Let me know what you think!

PPS: This event is open to everyone. If you know a busy woman who might benefit, my best advice is to have her sign up on my mailing list so she will get all the news too. Just send her to http://TooMuchonHerPlate.com
 

Melissa McCreery

Stress eating is one of the most common types of emotional eating and stress is one of the biggest causes of overeating and weight gain—especially for busy women. Knowing that you want to eat healthier or stick with reasonable portions is one thing. Figuring out how NOT to overeat when you’re overloaded, overwhelmed, and just-plain-stressed-out is another. “White knuckling it” only goes so far (that’s when you hold on tight and try to rely on pure willpower). When you are trying not to stress eat, you’re eventually going to need something to do instead of turning to food.

Melissa McCreery

Is there a gap between who you want to be and who you are? It’s one thing to have goals that stretch you beyond where you are now, but it’s another to feel like the life that you are living, the way you are spending your time and your energy, isn’t quite focused in the way you really want it to be.

Melissa McCreery

What do the owner of a 7-figure business, a mom going back to school to begin a new career, a newly divorced professional dynamo, and a fledgling business owner have in common?

• More energy
• A better mood
• Improved relationships
• Less overeating and other unhelpful habits
• And more success?

I’m going to be sharing some of my best tips and tricks for THRIVING in a no-cost webinar next Tuesday, October 4, and I’m inviting you to attend. The presentation is called: How to Prioritize Yourself AND Be More Effective In Your Life. You can attend via phone, Skype, or the internet. I’ll be recording the call and granting access to all who register.

• The hidden (and not so hidden) costs of NOT prioritizing yourself 
• How to eliminate the biggest obstacle busy women face when trying to take better care of themselves and create more me-time
• Five ways you might be sabotaging yourself (and not even know it) 
• Seven things you can start doing NOW to start prioritizing your own needs (even if it feels like you are too busy) 

Melissa McCreery

One of the most common reasons smart, capable women stay trapped in cycles of struggling with overload, overwhelm, and overeating, is a lack of consistently used, high quality support in their lives.

“Asking for help” sounds like a simple strategy, but for many high-achievers, it just ain’t so.

Here are the most common reasons you may not be getting the help you need.

Shame. Some high-achievers equate strength with self-reliance. They are so strongly independent that they haven’t permitted—or perfected—the skill of asking for help—at least in certain areas of their lives. The belief that health and well-being ought to be areas they can take charge of on their own holds them back and keeps them struggling, in part because they aren’t leveraging the support that they count on in the rest of their lives. If you are carrying a belief that you “shouldn’t need” to ask for help or if you aren’t used to doing so, shame may be holding you back from getting what you need to move forward.

Unused muscles. If you aren’t someone who has asked for help in the past (maybe you’ve even congratulated yourself for this as if it were a strength), then you probably find yourself in situations where help would be useful but it doesn’t even occur to you to ask. If this is the case it’s time to start waking up your “delegating” and “asking for help” muscles. Begin by asking yourself about the situations or struggles that others might be able to help you with. Notice the places where you feel stuck and consider who might have the expertise or wisdom to guide you so that you don’t have to keep struggling to reinvent the wheel.

Being a one-strike-and-you’re-out-support seeker. If you find it challenging to ask for help, you might not be pushing hard enough to get it. If you find yourself thinking, “I asked for help and they never followed through” or, “it just wasn’t’ very helpful—I guess I just need to do it myself,” you aren’t alone. However, these experiences are not reasons to stop asking—they are probably indications that you need to ask more, follow up, and make sure that you are crystal clear about what you are asking for. “I could use some help” and “Would you please stop and pick up dinner on your way home” are two different requests that will yield very different results.

Not knowing what to ask for. This is a big one, and it’s another reason that many women shy away from the help that could really propel them forward. Don’t be afraid to ask others for ideas: “How could you help out with this?” Most of all, don’t short change yourself because you aren’t quite sure what you need. Reaching out to an expert, describing the situation, and finding out what resources are available might make all the difference.

Take good care,

Could you use coaching, support, guidance, accountability and a motivation boost to achieve your goals? Click here to learn more about the Emotional Eating Solution Series or click here to schedule a Peace with Food Breakthrough Session and explore individual coaching options with Dr. Melissa McCreery.

Melissa McCreery

If you are like most busy women with too much on their plates, one of the most important things you can do for yourself is to practice indulging—really indulging. Interestingly, most women who really need to indulge more will tell you that they believe they ought to be indulging less.

1.      Indulging is not about greed or sloth. Indulging isn’t about excess. It’s about allowing yourself something wonderful or special and allowing yourself to really experience and savor it–without guilt or shame. It’s not eating the whole box of cookies or bingeing on clothes at the mall. It’s about allowing yourself just the right amount of what you really crave and fully enjoying the experience. Indulging is not about gulping, it’s a melts-in-your-mouth experience.

2.      Indulging is not laziness Indulging is a way of feeding an important part of yourself and adding dimension to your life. Some women worry that if they start to indulge they’ll “lose control.” The truth is, when you really allow yourself to indulge, you tend to be more satisfied with less.

3.      Indulging does not have to be earned or “deserved.” Some women believe that they haven’t “worked hard enough” or “accomplished enough” to indulge. When you don’t allow yourself this kind of self-care, it’s easy to become caught in a cycle of working harder and harder and feeling more and more behind and burnt out. Again, indulging yourself is a way of refueling. It actually enhances your productivity.

4.      Indulging does not decrease your productivity or make you fat. I’ve already addressed this, but this is such a common myth, it’s important to restate. Allowing yourself truly indulgent experiences, ones where you are completely present and savoring the moment, satisfies you. Real indulgences don’t leave you hungry and craving more—they rejuvenate you and fuel you to be your best. What does leave you primed for a binge of food or laziness is the feeling that your special treat is forbidden or undeserved. The message that you are never going to be allowed to rest or feel like “enough” or eat chocolate again will almost certainly create a craving for the forbidden that can be almost impossible to resist.

Melissa McCreery