Too Much on Her Plate

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Why Resolutions Fail and We Don’t Reach Our Goals

February 8th, 2010, No Comments »

It’s February and the crowds at the gym (all those people who made New Year’s resolutions) are thinning out. The kids are back in school, the holidays are long gone, and most of us are in the midst of “real life.” Are your goals and dreams still a part of your reality, or has your zeal and motivation started to fade?

The January “honeymoon phase” may be behind us, but this is actually a perfect time to tweak your plan (or revamp it completely) so that you can go the distance and achieve those goals you’ve set for yourself. The truth is, having things not go the way you had anticipated can be a great opportunity to learn how your plan holds up to real life and identify what changes need to be made so that you can stay on track for the long haul.

This week I’m going to share three reasons that even the most dynamic resolutions might not be getting you where you want to go:

Reason for failure #1: Failure to plan
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” A resolution or an idea is not a plan, it’s an intention. Many busy people err by jumping into action—any kind of action–without investing the time to create a clear, do-able, sustainable plan. If your weight loss resolution fell apart because it was simply based on “eat less,” you might want to take a step back and craft a strategy that includes how you’ll address any triggers to overeat, how you want to respond to physical hunger and cravings, and what other strategies you can put in place to maximize your effectiveness.

Change is not a one shot deal. It’s never too late to reevaluate your approach and create or re-craft your plan of attack. Take a look at any areas of your life that aren’t moving forward and ask yourself what plan or strategy you’d like to use to get them into motion. Be as specific as possible and don’t gloss over the actual “what” and “when” of any actions that you are going to take.

Take good care,

Is Emotional Overeating Weighing You Down?

January 26th, 2010, 4 Comments »

Are you

• eating when you aren’t really hungry?
• struggling with stress or “nervous” eating?
• circling the kitchen because you can’t find “the thing” that will satisfy you?
• eating when you are bored, tired, frustrated, or procrastinating doing something else?
• hungry all the time–no matter what or how much you eat?

If so, it’s worth considering whether emotional eating is getting in the way of your healthy eating and weight loss goals.  We all eat emotionally. We’re encouraged by friends, family, and the media to associate food with all sorts of warm, comfy, delicious things that are not simply a need for fuel. We’re taught to think of “comfort foods” and to reach for certain foods when we want to celebrate or gnaw away our frustrations. Emotional eating is a fact of life for most of us. But if it gets out of hand, it can TAKE the upper hand and become the primary factor behind your weight struggles.
If you are having a hard time with emotional overeating than you know what a vicious cycle it can be to break out of.

Remember that it IS a vicious cycle and apply these strategies to break free of the emotional overeating cycle and start walking a different path.

1. Call it emotional eating. If you are using food as a tool to cope with feelings or needs, than call it what it is. Once you identify emotional eating, let go of the other names you’ve been using—you know—the ones that leave you feeling awful about yourself, guilty, and maybe even ashamed. The issue is that you are an emotional eater. The issue is NOT that you are lazy, unmotivated, or undisciplined.
2. If you are going to change a pattern, you need to understand it first. This is why any diet you choose will probably fail you. A diet doesn’t teach you to listen to yourself and understand the pattern of your eating. A diet won’t help you understand what drives you to the kitchen after you’ve already eaten a meal. It won’t help you figure out what you are REALLY craving, feeling, or needing that isn’t even food. Taking the time to understand what’s really going on will help you craft a strategy where you address the CAUSE of your overeating. Programs like the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program can be helpful if you find that you need new tools or strategies to identify what’s going on or help creating alternatives to overeating.
3. Don’t just say no. No isn’t a strategy. To successfully take control of emotional eating, you’re going to need to decide HOW you’re going to not use food the way you’ve been using it in the past. What’s essential here is knowing what you will do INSTEAD of relying on food. Too many weight loss plans fail because of a lack of this type of planning. Make a list before you start your next weight loss attempt—or better yet—make it now. What are your trouble spots, triggers, and emotional eating cues? What can you try instead of turning to food?

Take good care,

By the way, the next call in the Smart Women’s Free Teleseminar Series is all about emotional eating and I’ll be sharing lots more tips and information.

5 Easy Healthy Lifestyle Tips

January 20th, 2010, 5 Comments »

Just thinking about shaping up, losing weight, or eating healthier makes many women exhausted. Changing habits is hard work, but sometimes we approach healthy lifestyle changes in the most difficult way possible. Instead of picking your biggest challenge, consider starting where you know you can be effective, where you can get some lasting bang for your buck, and where you can start growing motivation and momentum.

Here are five relatively painless and struggle-free tips to help you create lasting healthy habits:

1. Get some zzzzzs. Sleep affects just about everything we do and without enough sleep, we all tend to unravel. Inadequate sleep affects your cravings, your metabolism, your energy level, mood, activity, focus and motivation. If you aren’t regularly getting seven hours of sleep a night (or more) this is the first area to address. If you are exhausted and try to keep going, you aren’t likely to be effective and you’ll probably be drawn to mindless “zoning out” activities that are really just busy work. Go to sleep instead.
2. Identify your trouble spots. Don’t just focus on what you want to do. Be smart and identify the things that have led you off track in the past. A positive attitude is great, but a proactive plan for how you will do it differently this time is even better.
3. Grow tools for managing emotions and stress. Emotional eating (including stress eating) is one of the primary causes of overeating, weight gain, and weight regain. Without the strategies you need, stressful situations can trigger very unhealthy (and self-sabotaging) responses such as overeating, smoking, alcohol use, avoidance, or numbing out in front of the computer.  Hard times are also the time when many women abandon or lose track of health, fitness, and wellness goals. Instead of only focusing on what you’ll eat or when you’ll work out, invest some energy in addressing any real issues that are the trigger for the habits you are trying to kick.
4. Don’t lose yourself. One of the biggest reasons that busy women get off track is that they get distracted by other life demands. Designate a time to check in with yourself—at least weekly—and evaluate how things are going. Use this time to schedule the additional time you’ll need throughout the week for exercise, stress relief, meal planning, etc. Post your goals somewhere where you will see them and be reminded of them regularly. Make sure you identify milestones along the way to your big goal and reward yourself for reaching them.
5. Keep it positive. Don’t ignore your mindset—it has the power to impact your mood, your energy level, your choices and your progress. Focus on what you’ve done rather than what didn’t happen. Acknowledge the accomplishments (change is difficult) and celebrate your achievements along the way. Adopt the mantra, “I’m doing my best” instead of “I have to get it perfect” and you’ll be much better prepared to keep going when the going gets tough, recognize your progress and your efforts, and take good care of yourself along the way.

Take good care,

15 Ways to Socialize That Don’t Involve Food and Overeating

December 7th, 2009, 2 Comments »

After my recent post about how to reward yourself and celebrate your accomplishments without using food, a number of people brought up a related issue that is particularly relevant during the holiday season: how to socialize and not become a hermit when you aren’t interested in a lot of social eating and are trying not to overindulge?

Here are fifteen ways to get together with others that aren’t centered around food or eating. Consider these ideas as you consider alternatives to the holiday cookie exchange or the annual book club holiday dessert night. Remember, if you aren’t spending money on food, you may have resources available for other indulgences.

Fifteen ways to get together with others that aren’t centered around food or eating:

1.    Go to a movie. If you don’t buy popcorn, you can probably afford to go at least twice as often.
2.    Attend a football game, hockey game, or other sporting event.
3.    Get outdoors—walk, hike, cross country ski.
4.    Have a scrapbooking, quilting, or other craft get-together.
5.    Play games—chess, poker, board games. Have a game night.
6.    Go Christmas caroling.
7.    Rent movies and watch them together.
8.    Get together with friends to complete your holiday cards or to wrap gifts.
9.    Go shopping.
10.    Have a spa day—either at a spa or throw your own home spa party. Some massage therapists will come to you.
11.    Get a group together to tour an exhibit at a local museum.
12.    Create an event to support a charitable cause, do something helpful for someone in need, rally around a political cause, or something else you are passionate about.
13.    Go bowling.
14.    Investigate local theater.
15.    Go ice skating.

Many people get stuck when they are trying to have fun and be social without throwing food into the equation. Won’t you leave a comment and add your favorite nonfood activities?

Take good care,

The Beauty of Living a Grateful Life

November 24th, 2009, 2 Comments »

Are you looking for more ease in your life? Do you wish things flowed better? I don’t have a magic solution for you, but I do know a simple tool that, when leveraged, makes life smoother and more pleasant—and it’s free and at your fingertips. How about serving up a bit more gratitude?

We all know that gratitude is a good thing.  By gratitude, I’m talking about that deep peaceful sense of appreciation and thankfulness we feel for certain realities and people in our lives. Liberally and authentically applied, gratitude has the ability to work wonders. We don’t just give thanks and gratitude.  Our ability to connect with our sense of gratitude has the power to profoundly affect who and how we are in the world.

Here are three ways that gratitude can make your life flow better:

Create more happiness: Taking time out to identify and name the things and people that we are grateful for on a regular basis increases our feelings of well-being and contentment. The simple act of noting three things we are thankful for on a daily basis has been shown to increase feelings of happiness, decrease feelings of depression, and be such a positive experience that subjects in one study continued doing it long after the study was over.

Create more positive relationships: We all love to be appreciated. Expressing our gratitude obviously creates good will—and increases the odds that we’ll see more of the qualities we expressed appreciation for.  Expressing genuine gratitude is a way (albeit after the fact) of expressing what we want and need. When we let someone know that we are truly thankful for something they say or do or convey, we are also letting them know something about how they can and do help and support us—and they’ll know that going forward.  Expressing gratitude to another is also a mood enhancer. It’s not only kind, it makes us feel good to express gratitude.

Create a mindshift: We tend to see what we are focused on and miss the things we aren’t looking for. Let’s face it. When we are too busy or too stressed, we often get focused on the “un-done,” “the not-working” and the negative aspects of our life. It’s an unpleasant, energy-depleting cycle. We don’t tend to see what we’ve crossed off our to-do list as clearly as we see the things we didn’t get to. Increasing the focus on gratitude shifts our focus. When we start to look more closely for the things that we appreciate, we start to notice more of them.  Looking for, noticing, and expressing thankfulness can create a mindshift which leads to an increasingly positive feedback loop of identifying and creating more gratifying experiences.

Here’s a tip about gratitude—leverage it. As you identify what you are thankful for, don’t simply acknowledge it.  Find ways to lean into your gratitude.  Are you spending enough time with the people who you really truly feel grateful for having in your life?  Do you share your appreciation? Are you savoring the things or the qualities of your life that fill you up and leave you thankful?  Are you allowing yourself to thoroughly soak up the experiences that make up your “things I am grateful for” list each day?  Allowing yourself to be present with your gratitude is one of the most inspiring gifts you can give yourself.

Take good care,

Office Fitness: Forget The Scale

November 20th, 2009, No Comments »

Hi, I’m home office fitness expert Scott Tousignant here with another guest post to help you increase your productivity and improve your quality of work while improving your health. If you missed any of my previous guest posts you can find them at the following links…

Time Efficient Cardio, Stretch Away The Stress, and Fun Challenge.

Today we are going to discus how you measure fitness success. Do you rely on the scale to provide you with feedback? If so, how do you react when you see that the numbers on the scale don’t budge even though you ate really well throughout the week and exercised daily? Do you become frustrated? Do you give up?

That’s the problem with only using one tool to measure your success. Fat loss or maintaining a healthy body weight is only one of the benefits of living an active lifestyle especially when you are a busy entrepreneur. When fat loss is your only reason for participating in a fitness program or eating well it can become easy to get discouraged and throw in the towel.

Many of the benefits from living a balanced lifestyle are difficult to measure, yet they can have a significant impact on your happiness and fulfillment. For example, the increase in energy that you experience as a result of eating well and exercising will have a positive impact on the quality time that you spend with your family. You will be able to keep up with your children and desire to be active with them rather than plop yourself on the sofa after a hard day in the office. Your increase in energy will have a positive impact on your work in a variety of ways and your customers will feel it as well. You will notice that your mood improves when you are active and you adopt a more positive outlook on life.

The confidence that comes from living an active healthy lifestyle is one of the greatest benefits. It really can’t be measured but it can be felt and seen. I sure notice it with the Fat Loss Quickie members. I see it on their blogs where their passion and excitement shine when they use video. I can hear it in their voices when they record their podcasts or teleseminars. I can see it in their writing, which becomes even more creative. I can see it in the way that they put themselves out there and attract great customers and joint venture partners. I can see how others respond to them and want to network with them more.

As you continue to adopt a healthy active lifestyle you will notice that you can get a lot more done in less time during your workday, which frees up more time that you can devote to your family and doing the things that you really enjoy in life.

A scale simply can not measure these incredible successes that you achieve. To throw in the towel and give up simply because you have not noticed a significant change in the number that is displayed on the scale would have a significant impact on your business and quality of life.

Fitness was never designed to lose weight. Fitness was designed for fun. Allowing you to express yourself. To put your body in the state that it desires. To help your brain function optimally. Focusing your fitness efforts strictly on weight loss is a recipe for disaster. Put the fun back into fitness and celebrate the successes associated with it, such as increased confidence or more energy to play with your kids.

I know that Fat Loss Quickie members aren’t afraid to celebrate successes like that. They show it on their blogs and in their tweets. They are proud of the impact that physical activity is having on all areas of their life and they want to encourage others to embrace this balanced and healthy lifestyle.

I encourage you to embrace the active lifestyle and see first hand how your business flourishes and your life becomes charmed. I hope that you have enjoyed my guest blog posts this week and that they have inspired you to incorporate home office fitness into your busy day. I look forward to building upon our new relationship and becoming a source of motivation as you create the life that you deserve.

You ROCK! Enjoy the experience,

Scott Tousignant

Office Fitness: The Time Multiplier

November 16th, 2009, 2 Comments »

Hi there. My name is Scott Tousignant and I am super excited for the opportunity to be guest blogging here this week as part of my Home Office Fitness Blog Tour. Too Much On Her Plate is one of my favorite blogs and I think Melissa totally ROCKS!

Entrepreneurial women have my highest respect and mompreneurs totally blow my mind with what they are able to accomplish in 24 hours. You are SuperWoman! You do it all. You run a business, take care of your family, and help make the world a better place. You never hesitate to lend a hand to a friend in need and you leap at the opportunity to improve your community. You make us mere mortals look like sloths.

But when it comes to taking care of the most important person, YOU, there never seems to be enough time. That’s your Kryptonite… You put the needs of everyone else ahead of your own. It’s great to help others. It’s rewarding and gratifying. But what you must realize is that when you take care of YOU, everyone else WINS in a big way.

Do you honestly think that there’s not enough time in your day for fitness? It’s my mission to prove to you that not only do you have enough time for fitness, but that you can actually get more done throughout your day when you incorporate office fitness into your day.

Office fitness is your “Time Multiplier”. You will get more done in less time as a result of the increased productivity, energy, and focus that you experience from home office workouts. You’ll also experience improved quality of work and time management too. When you consider all the benefits of incorporating fitness into your workday you’ll realize that you can’t afford to avoid it.

Want More Time In Your Day? Take This Eight Minute Fitness Break…

Time Efficient and Effective Office Workout

One of the keys to a successful business is working more efficient and effective. Quickly completing the most important tasks that will have the biggest impact on your profits. The same holds true with your fitness. You want to get the most bang for your buck and achieve the greatest results possible in the shortest time possible.

The eight minute home office workout that I shared with you above uses three of the most effective exercises that you can perform; squats, piston rows, and the chest press. These exercises have an incredible impact on your metabolism especially when they are performed in quickie fashion. Using the stability ball for the chest press works additional muscles such as your glutes, thighs, abs, and lower back. It’s an easy way to work more muscles in less time.

There’s no need to sacrifice precious time by spending hours in the gym. You can achieve a greater impact from a 10-minute quickie than you could with a typical gym workout that lasts forty-five to sixty minutes. It may seem hard to believe, but it’s true. 10-minute quickie home office workouts is the definition of working more efficient and effective.

How does quick home office fitness multiply your time? First, you only need to workout for 10-minutes compared to 45-minutes so you are gaining an extra 35 minutes. Second, you don’t need to leave your office, which saves you travel time and prep time. Third, after the quick fitness break you will experience greater focus and clarity. Distractions will be a thing of the past. Fourth, you will have more energy, which will reflect in your productivity and quality of work.

Quickie home office workouts not only require very little time, but they also require very little space and very little equipment. As you noticed from the workout video above, I performed the workout in approximately 3 feet by 5 feet space and I used a stability ball and a set of dumbbells. That’s all that you need for a great workout. No need to spend money on expensive fancy equipment or a gym membership.

Tomorrow I will demonstrate a quick 10-minute cardio session that you can do in your home office, which will boost your energy and increase your productivity. You won’t even need any equipment. All that’s required for tomorrow’s quickie cardio is your own body weight. It will be fast and it will be fun.

If you have any questions or comments about home office fitness please do not hesitate to ask. Simply share your comment in the box below. That reminds me. I’ll be randomly selecting a winner from the people who share their comments on my blog posts this week. The prize is my Fat Loss Quickie Home Office Fitness program. So take a moment and share your thoughts and opinions below.

You ROCK! Enjoy the experience,

Scott Tousignant

PS Here’s a gift to help boost your motivation to incorporate home office fitness into your day. It’s the Fat Loss Quickie Motivation Report and it’s jam packed with motivational strategies to overcome obstacles and achieve an unstoppable mindset. I hope that you enjoy it.

Too Much On Her Plate Week: Prepare to Celebrate!

October 5th, 2009, No Comments »

Many professional women are successful in what they do for a living, but are struggling with overeating and weight loss issues. It’s often being too busy that leads to not enough time to care for one’s self. When that happens, many women turn to food for comfort, stress relief, a break—to fill in the needs they don’t feel like they have the time to fill with good stuff.

You know I’m passionate about providing effective solutions for women with too much on their plates.  I’m also all about doing things in the easiest way possible and making sure we take the time to pause and to celebrate the good stuff. So when I saw my birthday approaching this year, I decided to go BIG.

I’ve created Too Much on Her Plate Week which runs the week of my birthday–from October 19 to October 23–so that women can learn to get stuff off their plate, literally and figuratively. And I’ve tried to make it as simple and fun as possible.

Too Much on Her Plate Week calls attention to the more than 150 million professional women who are either employed by a business or as an independent professional in the United States. These women are often moms too, creating limited time and a lot of plate spinning (and juggling). The pressure to get it all done contributes further to many women’s struggles with weight and food.
In celebration of Too Much on Her Plate Week, I’m going to keep encouraging you to:

1.  Carve out some time for yourself. The biggest mistake busy women make is not taking some time for self-care. Most often, it’s not that a professional woman can’t have it. It’s that they aren’t choosing to take it. Prioritize yourself.

2.  Have a plan for eating and exercise. We tend to be great planners for the most part. Apply those skills to yourself and plan your meals and time for exercise.

3.  Pay attention. Emotional eating – especially stress eating, often sneaks up on women. Pay attention to those times when you want something to eat and ask why.

Oh—and every celebration should have gifts.  So be sure to come back on October 19 to join the celebration and collect lots of valuable goodies that will help you clean off your plate.

Take good care,

Too Much On Your Mind, Your Desk, Your Desk Top?

October 3rd, 2009, No Comments »

“A Confused Mind Takes No Action.” I’m not sure where that quote comes from, but it’s one I hear thrown around a lot. It’s a sound reminder for both life and business. When we’re unclear and confused, we tend to freeze and not to take action.  A confused mind is created when we have too many options, too many possibilities.  Too many choices.  It’s a state that I, and many busy women, know well.

You know what else a confused mind leads to?  You guessed it.  A confused mind often reaches for something to eat.  Stuck and not sure what to do, a confused mind often triggers us to reach out for relief in automatic, easy, quickly obtainable ways.

Do you have a confused mind?  Are there so many thoughts, projects, action items, schedules, and details swirling through your head that you can’t even seem to finish one task before moving on to another?

This is your weekend reminder to slow down.

Use the next few days to refocus on doing one thing at a time.  The productivity benefits of multitasking are a myth.  We get more done more effectively when we focus on one thing at a time.

In case you need more convincing, Steve Aitchison posted this great article about unitasking at one of my favorite blogs. I love his reminders about how multitasking actually decreases our effectiveness.  He’s also got some great (and simple) suggestions for avoiding a confused mind (and increased stress, overwhelm, etc.) at work.  It sounds so basic, but he reminds us how exhausting and distracting a cluttered desk and computer desktop can be. What if you didn’t have everything going at once?  What if unitasking was your norm?

As I’ve been paying more attention to this, I can tell you that I notice an immediate pay off when I REALLY focus on only one task at a time.

What about you?

PS: If you are trying to reduce the clutter and overwhelm in your life, be sure to secure a spot in my free teleseminar with Lorie Marrero, author of The Clutter Diet.

Five Tips to Sabotage ANY Exercise Plan

September 21st, 2009, 1 Comment »

We all know that exercise is good for us and many of us are trying to boost our activity level.  I feel very lucky to have found ways of being active that don’t just work for me—they help me thrive.  Please be nice to me when I say that I am a runner who loves to run. I know—if you aren’t there–it’s a hard concept to grasp.  I know because it wasn’t always this way.  Before I found my inner-fitness fan, I struggled with failed workout attempts and exercise plans that were destined to crash and burn from the beginning.  Periodically, amidst the Jane Fonda VHS tapes and the aerobics classes, I would try running.  It seemed convenient and low maintenance and like something I “should” do (falling for the “should” was my first mistake). I hated it.

Here are five things I did to make sure I hated running.  Feel free to apply these tips to sabotage your fitness plan:

Mistake 1: I was hungry
My early urges to run usually coincided with an urge to lose weight.  I’d start some ridiculous diet and then decide that I needed to up my results with exercise.  This meant that I was huffing and puffing and I was hungry.  Starting a workout with no fuel in your tank is a guaranteed way to feel exhausted, unfit, unhappy, and uninspired (by the way, the diets didn’t work either).

Mistake 2: I went too fast
I was going to start to exercise and I was going to RUN darn it.  So I’d fly off my front porch and my lungs would be burning before I’d gone any appreciable distance at all.  I had no plan for how far I was going to go or any thoughts about pacing myself to go the distance.  I just ran.  Not very far.  And then I felt discouraged. The first time I ever thought that maybe, just maybe I might like this running stuff was when I tried jogging/running/and walking to slower music.  I grabbed a cassette tape (remember those?) of music that made me happy but didn’t have a fast driving beat, and I decided to just keep moving until it was over.  I ran slow, I walked when I got tired, and I was happy at the end of my workout. Mixing joy with exercise? What a concept!

Mistake 3: I chose the wrong environment
I still have horrible memories of trying to become a runner on a hot humid sunny afternoon in the Midwest.  I was literally running around a corn field.  It was a big flat square with absolutely no change in scenery.  That didn’t work for this aesthetically-oriented person.  Now this is especially significant, because, at the time, I lived only a mile from Lake Michigan.  I was really good at sabotaging my fitness plans because it never even occurred to me to adjust the timing of my workout to take advantage of a cooler morning or to drive to the more beautiful, slightly cooler location and try running there. That running stint didn’t last long.

Now I know that beauty is one of the things that fuels my desire to be active.  One of my favorite things about running is the opportunity to get outdoors and into nature. If you aren’t into sabotaging your workout plans, know what environment works for you and plan accordingly.  Indoors, outdoors, boisterous or quiet? Soothing or upbeat?  It’s all possible.

Mistake 4: I went at it alone
My mental talk went like this: “I’m not a ‘good’ runner so I don’t really want anyone to see me.  Won’t it be fun when I’ve built up some endurance and can ask a friend to go running with me?”  Guess what?  It never happened.  Now, had I asked a friend to support me and run with me from the very beginning—who knows?  I do know that one of the best things about running now is the weekend runs I take with friends.  What busy woman couldn’t use more uninterrupted time to chat, gossip, connect, and just catch up? My running friends have encouraged me to keep going, to restart, to try new things, and to stretch my abilities in ways I probably never would have done on my own. Toughing it out by yourself when you are a fitness newbie is a prime way to stall your momentum and motivation.

Mistake 5: I judged myself
Constantly.  That little voice in my head told me how out of shape I was, how out of breath I was, how everyone was looking at me.  I did not have a “little engine that could” mantra going in my head, but one that defeated me and contributed to making every working out an uphill battle. I didn’t celebrate each workout, but instead kept looking ahead at how far I had to go.

I still run up hills that I don’t think I can get up, but I’m older and wiser now and I absolutely know that I’m not going to get to the top if my head doesn’t cooperate with the mission.  Every strong runner I know has some kind of positive mantra or phrase that keeps them going during tough times. I’d bet that every workout dropout has the opposite.

So that’s how I screwed up my workout motivation.  What have you done to sabotage yours? Better still, what could you do to set it on a more positive track?

Take good care,

Melissa