When I surveyed readers recently, more than 90% who responded said they’d like some help with overeating and emotional eating.

Real help. Smart emotional eating help that meets you where you are, that doesn’t talk down to you and that offers overeating solutions that you can implement in the midst of a busy life.

I hear you loud and clear. You tell me that many of you could write books on weight loss and the rules you “should” be following, but you want a program that will address the real problem areas.

• 40% of you told me you are looking for help sticking with a program. You’re tired of getting stuck or getting thrown off track.
• You want to know what to do INSTEAD of eating. You’ve run out of willpower (or you will soon).
• You’re very concerned with how to carve out time to do what you need to do to be successful.
• You’d like to know more about how to identify emotional eating and the feelings that trigger overeating and want to know the secret about what to do about them.
• You want a program that is do-able, affordable, and won’t leave you burnt-out, more stressed, or like you’ve failed one more time.

I’ve taken your input and my best coaching tools and strategies and I think I’ve cracked the code. I’d like to invite you to a free event to share what I’ve come up with—and to give you some important information that I want every woman looking for emotional eating help to have.

Come to this free webinar (you can attend via phone, online, or by accessing the playback of the event) and I will share with you:

• The secret to ending weight struggles once and for all (and why willpower is over-rated).
• Why you keep getting stuck, falling off track, or why you haven’t been successful in a way that LASTS.
• The importance of identifying (and cracking) your unique code for success.
• My easy recipe for reigniting motivation, taking effective action, and getting on track with your goals today.
• Plus, you’ll be the first to hear about what I’ve developed and how you can use it too.

You know how to diet and my bet is that it’s not working for you. Life’s too short to keep struggling and not feel effective. Won’t you join me and start living a different path?

Just go here to reserve your space and start getting the emotional eating help you deserve.

Take good care,

The term “life balance” comes with a lot of baggage—especially to many women who are stressed and busy balancing work, family, relationships, and more. I’ve encountered everything from anger to extreme defensiveness when I’ve brought up the term.

More than one successful woman has told me “I don’t believe in life balance.” “Work-life balance is a myth,” and even, “balance isn’t possible–it just sets us up for failure.”

Gulp. Strong feelings. The idea of creating balance in a busy life is overwhelming, emotional, and feels like a dream for many.

I got my haircut last week and that meant leafing through some big, fat, ad-filled magazines that I don’t normally read. I reached for O and ended up reading Oprah’s interview with Mehmet Oz (Dr. Oz) in the December issue. They were chatting away, covering ground I am familiar with. Eating well, learning how to say, “No.” The importance of setting boundaries so that you can take care of yourself. And then Oprah fessed up. She offered Mehmet Oz “. . . some advice, even though I’m not taking it myself.”

Oprah went on to say that she believes it’s important to make a conscious decision to create balance in your life—but she’s not doing it. She even said she’s not making any more resolutions until she creates more balance for herself—and Dr. Oz says something like, “Well when you figure it out, let me know, because I don’t know how to do it either.”

If this is something that you struggle with, you are in good company.

Maybe it’s just me, but it all sounded a bit like lip service. Like these two incredibly influential people don’t really believe this whole balance thing is possible. It reads a bit like “yeah, right. Balance is nice, but if you want to  be successful….”

I may be wrong about this. Oprah and Mehmet, I’d love to hear from you.

If Dr. Oz and Oprah can’t figure it out, can you?

Of course you can.

First off, stop getting all tied up in knots about the concept.

I’ve heard the arguments. “Balance is always changing.” There is no “perfect” balance. “Rhythm” or “flow” are better words to use. “I don’t balance, I dance.”

Great. Here’s what I think. I believe that when most of us talk about “life balance (or whatever words we choose),” we’re speaking about creating a way of spending or budgeting our energy and time that feeds us and that is aligned with our priorities. Yes, it’s different for everyone. Go ahead and use whatever words you want. But rolling your eyes at the idea is really an expression of feeling stuck or powerless or (maybe) content with the way things are.

Some high-achievers hide their fear of being stuck or incapable by pretending they like things the way they are or by pretending that it’s silly to want anything different.

Are you living your best life? I believe that you were put on this earth to be your best, unique version of yourself. If you aren’t spending your energy and your time in a way that allows you to bring your gifts to the world, something is out of whack. That’s my belief and my litmus test for balance. You are free to have a different one.

Want to create better balance in your life? I absolutely believe that it’s possible. Of course, it’s usually not an instant, “snap your fingers” kind of shift, but there is almost always a way to make things work better.

If you want more ease, flow, or balance in your life, here are some ways to get started:

Stop believing (openly or secretly) that it’s impossible.  You may not have a clue how to get there, but that does not mean there is no way out of whatever trap you find yourself in.  Does Oprah believe she will ever be able to create that balance that she craves?  I really don’t know. It sure sounds like she knows that she’d benefit if she could achieve it. Most of us know that if our life worked better for us we’d sleep better or stress less or lose weight or whatever. But do we really believe it’s achievable? That’s the first step. Faith that your best life is out there and that it can include more of the good stuff that feeds your spirit and your soul is an essential key to creating balance and ease in your life.

Give yourself space to start figuring out what better balance looks like and feels like for you. That’s not always easy and there is no cookie cutter formula. It involves listening to yourself. Don’t worry about the big picture and how you are ever going to balance the bajillion things you have going on. That’s a trap that may overwhelm you and keep you stuck. Start small and do-able. You are creating a path, one step at a time. Tune in to the path and the steps you need to take by carving out me-time religiously—just like you make time for brushing your teeth, commit to making time for yourself. Don’t worry, you don’t have to take a weekend retreat on a deserted island. My Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off and my Success Soundtrack™ program show you how to make incredibly productive use out of just ten minutes of me-time a day.

Finally, don’t get freaked out when you don’t have the answers. Doing some things differently may mean that you are going to need to acquire some new tools or expertise to move forward. Give yourself permission to know where you want to go and seek out what you need to figure out the best way to get there.

And Oprah and Dr. Oz? I’d love to take a stab at helping you define your paths. You’ve got the potential to help so many even more than you already do. Please, please, please, don’t lose your faith in the possibility of a life that works better.

Take good care,

Happy New Year!

I’m back in the office today after taking two weeks off to spend time with family, enjoy the holidays, unwind, and relax. My mind is full of new ideas and I am so excited about the possibilities that 2012 holds for all of us.

I have a message to deliver. You are capable of more than you think. And it gets even better. Odds are, you are capable of accomplishing amazing goals with less stress, and more ease than you currently see possible. If you are overwhelmed, overloaded, or overeating it’s very likely that you can untangle some stuff, have less stress, do less, and create better results. Not by working harder, but by taking simple, do-able steps that make sense for your life.

I’d love to help you keep a focus on this kind of focus in 2012. This year, I’ll be in more frequent touch, with bite-sized tips and information to help you break free of the three Os (overload, overwhelm, and overeating) and create more ease, joy, and success.

January is a month when there is a lot of momentum and emphasis on moving AHEAD, starting new things, and setting intentions, goals, and resolutions for the year ahead. I hope that as you do this, you also spend some time reflecting on the twelve months that have just passed. Here is what I know. We underestimate what can happen in twelve months when we look ahead, and when we look back, we often forget much of what we have done.

For some of you, it’s much easier to see what you didn’t accomplish in 2011 than what you did.

Please don’t stop there.

As you dive into this New Year, I want to encourage you to do some reflecting.

Make a list about 2011. Include everything you can think of that you accomplished, everything significant, life or lifestyle changing that happened, and anything that you survived or overcame. Take note of where you spent your time and energy. Write it all down. You might be surprised.

Don’t stop yet.

Go back through your calendar from 2011 and remind yourself where you were and what you were doing eight, nine, and twelve months ago. Get a clear picture of where you were last January. You might be surprised. When I reviewed my year, I find all sorts of growth and changes that had become so routine that I had stopped noticing them. New habits, new ways of eating, heck—I moved my office in 2011 and radically changed my work schedule. It works so well, I almost forgot to add it to my list of accomplishments!

Last January, I had a vague goal of “someday” running the New York City marathon. In February, I had the unexpected opportunity to work with world-class coaches who encouraged me to set a clear plan for doing so. In May, I ran a half marathon I’d never thought of running with the goal of finishing with a time that qualified me to run in New York City (this was a time goal I had never thought possible for myself). Running that time was amazing. And in November, I accomplished another huge goal. I hit the streets of New York City and ran in a race I’d dreamed of running for years. I never dreamed all that would happen back in January, 2011. But it did.

Don’t forget the positive changes that you’ve maintained over the past year. Sometimes it takes great effort to keep things the same. Have you kept weight off, maintained a fantastic relationship, stuck with your yoga practice or your commitment to me-time? These accomplishments count and they count big.

I’m betting some things have changed or you did some things you forgot about in 2011. If you are like me, you may have accomplished major goals that weren’t even on your radar twelve months ago.

My point is this—don’t sell yourself short. Knowing what you are capable of and knowing what you have done and have endured or survived can be a major source of power and confidence as you step into your bold new year.

I will never encourage you to live in the past, but I want you to take from it what can propel you in the directions that you want to go.

What did you almost take for granted about 2011? What unexpected fantastic new living may await you in 2012?

Take good care,

When life gets busy and you get stressed, it’s natural to look for ways to be more efficient and add more ease. The tendency is to look for things you can eliminate. Unfortunately, sometimes this doesn’t work out so well. One way to have less stress and overwhelm is to be clear on the activities and routines that are essential to preserve.

Here are eight things you don’t want to do when you are stressed out and short on time—and some tips on how to make them happen.

1. Cut back on sleep. As tempting as it may be, sleep is not the place to try to save time. Seven and a half hours seem to be the magic number. If you are getting less than this on a regular basis, you aren’t going to be as effective or creative, you are likely to be hungrier, and have a lower tolerance for stress. NOT what you want when life is demanding.
    
2. Cross yourself out of your schedule. When you are looking at an over-full calendar, it’s tempting to see your own stuff as expendable and put yourself last. Too often it’s the stuff that keeps you functioning (sleep, exercise, healthy meals, stress relieving activities) that are the first things crossed off your schedule. You know better. Instead of eliminating the good stuff, consider cutting back if you have to. Shorter workouts, simple fast meals, quick phone calls to friends, and less aiming for perfection in areas that don’t really matter.
    
3. Multitask like crazy. Multitasking requires your brain to work in more than one direction at once. Guess what—it can’t do that. So instead of being “efficient,” you end up asking your brain to switch back and forth between tasks. Neither gets the attention it deserves. Is it okay to clean the sink while you’re on hold with your cell phone provider? Of course, but multitask with care.
    
4. Eating on the go. This is a form of multitasking. You should know that women who eat while they are doing something else tend to eat more and feel less satisfied with what they have eaten. Make the shift to viewing your mealtime as an opportunity to get grounded and be present with yourself. That’s the kind of multitasking that works. Savor your food and allow yourself to enjoy the calories. Pay attention to how you are feeling, whether you are hungry or full, tense, relaxed, anxious, or bored. Practice asking yourself what you need that is not food. It only takes a few minutes and it can make all the difference in the rest of your day (as well as with your eating and your weight).
   
   
5. Skip the pre-game planning. When life is crazy, it’s tempting to just jump in and start moving. The problem is, we all know how easy it is to spend a day working hard and still not really feel like we’ve accomplished much. Investing ten minutes on the front end of your day to get clear on your priorities, adjust your mindset for success, and address any potential hurdles will be worth its weight in gold–and it will probably save you stress and time in the long run.
    
6. Underestimate the power of ten. Have you noticed that many of the things I’m reminding you not to skip can be done in small ways? If you are telling yourself, “I don’t have time,” ask yourself whether you can think smaller. Don’t get caught in the high-achiever head trap of all-or-nothing-thinking. Just because you don’t have time for an hour-long cardio workout doesn’t mean you can’t go for a ten minute walk. Five minutes of journaling might untangle your brain. A ten minute email might get you the help or the answer you need to save hours. Taking ten minutes to transition after work might save you a pre-dinner pig-out session with the holiday cookies. When you’re stressed and overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to allow yourself a little breathing space.
    
7. Go it alone. “It’s quicker for me to do it myself” is the phrase that leads to a lot of unnecessary stress. It may seem like it in the moment, but trying to do everything will set you up for vicious cycles of overload and overwhelm. Ask for help. Be specific. If you can’t be specific, tell someone you trust, “Is there a way that you could help with this?” You may just be amazed at the results you get.
    
8. Skip meals. “I didn’t have time for lunch” often leads to an evening of eating that feels out of control. If you manage to control your eating, you’re likely to feel tired, edgy, headachey, and no fun. Remember the ten minute rule. If you have a list of quick, healthy options, eating doesn’t take a lot of time. If you don’t have a list, make one now. Five to ten things you can grab that will keep you fueled and on track. Keep it simple—tuna, Greek yogurt, almonds, cheese sticks. Stuff that will stay with you and won’t lead to a blood sugar slump in the afternoon or evening.

What must-dos keep you on track when life threatens to pull you off course? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Take good care,

The winter holidays are here and with all the joy and excitement, they also include challenges and realities that can throw your goals, routines, and eating off course. As much as many of us look forward to this time of year, we know that it is stressful and that the food-filled festivities can be a recipe for overeating and weight gain.

The research on holiday weight gain and stress is worth paying attention to. Holiday stress has a particular impact on women, who take charge of many of the holiday celebrations, particularly the tasks related to food.

Women are more likely to report increased stress during the holiday season. Women have a harder time relaxing during the holidays and are more likely to fall into bad habits like emotional eating to manage overload or overwhelm. Our health can take a further hit because, during the holidays, people are much more likely to choose non-active (and ineffective) activities like watching TV, sleeping, eating and drinking to manage their stress.

Many people engage in emotional eating and other unhealthy behaviors to cope with their stress levels during the holidays, and as you probably know, weight gain is a big issue. People gain more weight during the holiday season than any other time of year. It gets worse. We’re less likely to lose the weight we gain over the holidays, and, if you are already overweight, you are likely to gain more weight than average.

I’m not trying to be a downer here, but the holiday season is definitely a time to be proactive if you want to avoid overeating, weight gain, and stress and begin the New Year feeling on track and in control.

Here are five essential ingredients for staying on track with weight, health, and stress over the holiday season:

1. Set a goal. Be clear on what it is you plan to accomplish over the next several weeks. Be realistic; make sure it’s manageable; and be concrete. Your goals don’t have to be huge. Maybe you are going to pack a healthy lunch every day or walk on your lunch hour. Maybe you will only eat dessert on certain days of the week. Pick a goal that fits you and make sure that you can easily tell whether you are on track or not.

2. Create a plan. This is not the time of year to take anything for granted. Make sure you know the how and the when of anything you plan to do. Schedule time for your goals NOW before life gets any busier. Write things down. Identify the steps you will need to take. For instance, if you are going to pack a daily lunch, make sure you have ideas of what you will take, that you have the time to prepare it, and groceries on hand. Set yourself up for success by thinking things through on the front end.

3. Keep it do-able. I’m repeating myself here because it’s important. When you set goals that are too big, you are setting yourself up to fail and to feel ineffective. This is probably not the time of year when you will maximize weight loss, in fact, for many women, the goal may be not to gain. That’s great. Be honest with yourself about what you want to do and what you really can do over the next six weeks. Remember, small changes—the ones you can maintain–can create big results.

4. Savor and be selective. Think about food ahead of time. You probably encounter some special foods over the holidays that you don’t want to pass up. Plan for these, and whatever you do, make darn sure that you stop and savor them (without guilt). You can’t really indulge if you are busy feeling bad or mad at yourself for what you are eating. Make those calories count!

On the other hand, you’re going to encounter lots of unhealthy food you probably don’t really care about over the next few weeks. Consider making some policies for yourself about foods you are willing to forgo. Do you really care about the store-bought dinner rolls or the eggnog? Get clear NOW on what you will happily skip.

5. Commit to me-time. Remember all that stuff about holiday stress? As busy as you may be this holiday season, it’s important to set aside regular time just for you. This will help you manage your stress, stay connected with your needs and your goals, and feel better. You’re likely to be less irritable, more focused, and more productive if you commit to taking regular me-time. As little as ten minutes a day can reduce stress, add ease, and make an incredible difference in how you feel and function.

What are your holiday survival tips? I’d love to hear. Leave a comment and let me know your challenges and how you plan to stay on track this year.

Take good care,

Is there a gap between who you want to be and who you are? It’s one thing to have goals that stretch you beyond where you are now, but it’s another to feel like the life that you are living, the way you are spending your time and your energy, isn’t quite focused in the way you really want it to be.

You may be tough, independent, and hard-working, but here’s the truth. You could probably benefit from an extra serving of self-compassion and the self-care that tends to accompany it. Research suggests that for better emotional well-being and less emotional eating, you’d do well to treat yourself with less self-judgment and more self-compassion, kindness, and self-care.

Research is confirming that treating yourself with self-compassion (as opposed to loading on the guilt and self-blame) is linked to:

• Increased happiness
• Optimism
• Social connectedness
• Less anxiety
• Less depression
• Less tendency to dwell on things
• Less fear of failure

Researchers are also exploring the emerging evidence that increasing self-compassion lowers the tendency for emotional eating and binging.

Increasing self-compassion and self-care is a fundamental piece of my coaching and programs. Making the shift from self-blame and frustration with one’s self to self-compassion creates changes that are profound, and I believe, enduring. While some approach the idea of self-compassion with fear (“If I’m too easy on myself, I’ll never get anywhere.”), the reality is, that those with high levels of self-compassion actually take more responsibility for problems. It’s simply easier to take charge when we aren’t bogged down with guilt and when we can do it in a way that is still kind to ourselves.

Want to start growing your self-compassion? Psychologist Kristin Neff has identified three key components that you can start implementing.

• Be understanding with yourself rather than dishing out the negative self-judgment. Take a close look at your inner conversations with yourself. As I’ve written before, ask yourself whether you’d talk to your mother or your best friend the way you talk to YOU. Start revamping your inner dialogue with kindness and support.
   
• Let go of perfection and unrealistic expectations that only get applied to you. Realize that you are human and that part of the human experience is imperfection, and at times, suffering.  Instead of feeling “why me,” roll with it with compassion and respect.
   
• Be mindful. Find ways to stay present and connected with your feelings and your experience. You have to be aware of the hard stuff in order to address it with compassion.

Resources for self-compassion and better self-care:

The Success Soundtrack™: add more ease, flow, me-time, and success in just ten minutes a day
The Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off
The THRIVE Formula™ Four Weeks to Unleashing Your Inner Champion

Take good care,

What do the owner of a 7-figure business, a mom going back to school to begin a new career, a newly divorced professional dynamo, and a fledgling business owner have in common?

• More energy
• A better mood
• Improved relationships
• Less overeating and other unhelpful habits
• And more success?

I’m going to be sharing some of my best tips and tricks for THRIVING in a no-cost webinar next Tuesday, October 4, and I’m inviting you to attend. The presentation is called: How to Prioritize Yourself AND Be More Effective In Your Life. You can attend via phone, Skype, or the internet. I’ll be recording the call and granting access to all who register.

• The hidden (and not so hidden) costs of NOT prioritizing yourself 
• How to eliminate the biggest obstacle busy women face when trying to take better care of themselves and create more me-time
• Five ways you might be sabotaging yourself (and not even know it) 
• Seven things you can start doing NOW to start prioritizing your own needs (even if it feels like you are too busy)