Social media sites like Facebook provide powerful opportunities to connect, reconnect, and stay connected in ways that are (or used to be) unique.  They also provide an almost unparalleled possibility to tweak and censor the view of ourselves we present to the world. If we do enough of that (tweaking and positioning), it’s possible to start believing that version of reality is more authentic than it actually is.

Years ago, studies revealed that women who spent as little as twenty minutes looking at certain style magazines experienced decreases in their self esteem and increased self doubt and worry about their own appearance, body image, and size. The hypothesis was that even a short time viewing women who were portrayed as unrealistically “perfect” (at least physically), left readers feeling like they didn’t measure up. Could this “feeling bad by comparison” be happening to us?

There is so much of real life that rarely gets posted on Facebook or Twitter.

I don’t know about you, but I’m unlikely to post about my skin breaking out from stress or if I’m feeling unsupported and alone, or if my latest project completely tanks. My profile pictures (yes, they’re recent) show me smiling and relaxed. I don’t see a lot of updates about people worried about money or doubting their ability to succeed. Most of us aren’t revealing our moments of despair and self doubt. Oh sure, there are some self-deprecating shares, but we don’t tend to go deep or admit that we’re really scared or insecure, or feeling like a failure.

And yet, we all have these moments.

What’s my point? I am NOT suggesting–at all–that we stop filtering what we share on social media. Facebook and Twitter and their cousins aren’t private conversations and we don’t need to (and shouldn’t) share everything with everyone.  I believe it’s important to be clear (especially if you use these services for business) what the goal of your participation really is. I’m wondering though, about how we are influenced by what everyone else is sharing or presenting–and what they aren’t. And I’m wondering if all the happy, joyful, optimistic, or even the digging-down-deep-in-the-face-of-a-challenge updates and tweets may be intimidating us or increasing our own self doubt.  Could they be making it even harder to admit our own struggles or ask for help with what we need?

It’s so important to remember that there are a lot of conversations that aren’t happening via social media–or at least not often. Unfortunately, what isn’t being said doesn’t show up in your news feed.

On a related note, a few women have shared with me that they’d like to follow the Too Much On Her Plate Facebook Page, but they are wary about other people seeing that they experience overwhelm, overload, or overeating. I absolutely get that (and please, take charge of your privacy settings to control what you choose to share). I also hear the other side of this type of concern–every day.

One of the biggest reasons savvy women get stuck and don’t get where they want to go–in their business, their life, their relationships, or with their health and weight–is because:

a) they feel alone and embarrassed about whatever isn’t coming easily for them, and

b) they are stuck in the mindset that being “strong” means being able to do things (especially personal health and lifestyle things) without help.

The truth? Being and feeling alone and unsupported means it’s up to you to reinvent the wheel. Every time. It could be so much easier.

So, this post ends with two questions–and I’d really like to hear your thoughts. Do Facebook and Twitter ever leave you comparing yourself and worried that you come up short?. . . And how can we have some of the other nitty gritty conversations? How can we talk about what we struggle with, what’s not working, and what keeps us up at night without giving up our privacy and our boundaries? Is there a place for this kind of authenticity on Facebook? Should there be? If not there, where are you finding this opportunity in your life?

Take good care,

Want to join the Too Much On Her Plate page? Come visit and help us create a more rounded conversation. Click on the “wall tab” and let us know how we can help you be your best self and not fall into the comparison or “image” trap.

If working too hard has you skipping your regular workout, SqueezeItIn.com can help you work smarter, not harder, and turn those long days into a good workout right at your desk.

Multitasking exercise – or functional fitness – is a great way to work in a workout when you’re just too busy to hit the gym or when you can’t find a 30-minute block of time to work up a sweat.  According the American College of Sports Medicine three 10-minute bursts of moderate intensity exercise performed throughout your day are equivalent to a single 30-minute workout.  Bottom line: it all adds up.  So the ladies behind SqueezeItIn.com have developed dozens of clever and effective exercises you can do while you’re cleaning the house, at the office, in your car, and even while traveling at 30,000 feet – so you can “squeeze in” a workout no matter how busy your schedule.

Here are three office moves sure to stop the dreaded desk spread (just click the graphic to access a short video):

Want to learn more ways to squeeze in fitness? I’m going to be getting tips from the women of Squeeze It In on May 5 and I’m sharing the interview with you.  Join me when I interview Brigette and Jenny–it’s free!

I love spring and associate it with freshness and renewal and beginnings. Unfortunately, many women I talk to associate it with bathing suit shopping, and pressures to shape up and lose weight. Right now, they are starting to prepare for another disappointing ride on the diet roller coaster (you know–the ride with lots of ups and downs where you always end up right where you started). There really is a better way. Please know, that if you are tired of struggling with overeating or emotional eating, there is a way out that doesn’t involve going through the vicious cycle or the endless yo-yo dieting that you may feel trapped in.

Just in time for spring, I’m offering a free teleseminar with a big title: Get Back In the Driver’s Seat With Overeating, Binge Eating and Emotional Eating: How to Stop Struggling and Make Peace With Food

Here’s the agenda:

• Find out why diets don’t work and the missing ingredient you need to be effective
• Learn how to identify what you are really craving (if you are overeating—it’s not food) and the problem with “food rules”
• Discover what you should be paying attention to that you probably aren’t
• Learn how you can create your own customized blueprint for making peace with food—once and for all

… and much more.

You’ll also be the first to hear about the new session of the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Take Action Series, which kicks off  May 11, 2010 and some of the new benefits that I’ve added.

This free teleseminar that takes place Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 3pm Pacific, 4pm Mountain, 5pm Central, and 6pm Eastern. You’ll want to be live on the call so that you can get your questions answered, however, if you can’t make it, you’ll still want to register. The call will be recorded and all who register will receive access to the recording. Teleseminars are easy to attend. You just dial in on the long distance number you will be provided when you register (you will be responsible for any long distance calls). You’ll be given an access code and instructed to punch it in and then you’ll join us on the line. I’ll definitely be taking your questions throughout the call.

Just go here to save your seat.

Take good care,

Is your inbox elevating your stress level and sucking your time and energy?

What exactly IS the answer when you have 3,000 emails waiting for you to deal with them?

Certified Professional Organizer® Lorie Marrero is the author of The Clutter Diet: The Skinny on Organizing Your Home and Taking Control of Your Life. She is also the creator of ClutterDiet.com . Her organizing books and products are sold online and in stores nationwide, and she is a sought-after expert for national media such as CNBC, Good Housekeeping, WGN News and Woman’s Day.

Lorie has agreed to let me interview her about what she calls “Inbox Obesity” and how to take control when you have “Too Much In Your Inbox.”

I’m inviting YOU to listen in–at no cost. The call will take place Thursday, March 25 at 11am Pacific, noon Mountain, 1pm Central and 2pm Eastern. Register even if you can’t make the call–I’ll be giving everyone who registers access to the recording.

I am really looking forward to hearing Lorie’s wisdom. Let’s get out of email overwhelm together–just go here to register.

Take good care,

When I coach my clients, I see one of my roles as that of helping them stretch the boundaries of their comfort zones and create a bigger picture of possibilities for themselves. The interesting thing is, when we stretch and expand—the right way—it doesn’t create a feeling of overwhelm or overload, it actually makes things feel more expansive and creates a sense of ease and freedom.

Sometimes we play too small (or we don’t play at all) because we feel stuck in scarcity—we don’t know how to get beyond that feeling of not having enough time or energy or resources. It’s a big mistake, and one that just keeps us working too hard on a hamster wheel where we never exactly get where we want to go.

This week I’m going to be blogging about places that busy women get stuck and my tips for stepping off the hamster wheel and moving toward those things you want to achieve.

Stay tuned—and let me know what you think. Leave a comment if you have a Gold Medal Excuse you’d like me to address.

Take good care,

“I am SO busy – I just started a business/have a successful business/hate my job and want to start a business/times are tough at work and they just keep piling on the responsibilities and projects – there is so much to do – I can NEVER catch up – my email consumes me – I’m always working but I feel pulled in so many directions – I’m stuck and I don’t know where to begin – I don’t feel like I accomplish what I want to – I’m snacking all the time/overeating/bingeing in the evening – and I’m putting on weight – life feels out of control but I don’t know how to break the cycle – I have so much to do – I know I should exercise but frankly I’m too darned tired – and I can’t get control of my eating. Help!”

Sound familiar? If so, this is important. Overwhelm, stress, lack of self-care, and emotional eating are intricately connected for many smart busy women with too much on their plates (the pun there is always intended). Breaking out of this vicious, damaging cycle requires being respectful of all these components. No low carb/high protein/liquid/fill-in-the-blanks diet addresses these crucial pieces. Frankly, it’s about so much more than the food.

Each part of the cycle perpetuates the others. Overwhelm can contribute to cutting back on time for self-care; stress (and exhaustion) fuels your appetite, impacts your metabolism, and triggers emotional eating, which in turn increases feelings of overwhelm, stress, and just-plain-feeling-out-of-control.

Breaking the cycle requires a pause (yes, I know you are busy, but you really do need to stop and disengage), some deep breaths, and then a plan of action so that you can take the wheel of your life (and then your business or job) instead of running along frantically behind it.

Sound good?

Now is the time to do it. Because if you don’t, you will either stay stuck where you are (I’m betting you don’t have any extra energy right now to grow, think, play bigger, or hoist yourself out of the pit you see yourself in), or worse, as a new client described to me this week, you will crash and burn. And then you will HAVE to stop.  You deserve so much more.

If you can do nothing else, commit to the following steps. They will help you start to see some daylight.

1. Give yourself 15 minutes a day. It won’t take away from your productivity, it will increase it. Journal, walk, meditate, soak in the tub. Connect with yourself and pay attention to how you feel. Don’t do this at the end of the day when you are too tired to move and your brain has stopped working. Pay yourself first or take a break during your work day.
2. Adopt the following mantras: “I’m doing my best,” and “I can’t do it all.” They are true.
3. Each evening, identify your top three action items for the next day and call it an accomplishment when you have knocked those out. If possible, do them early in the day.
4. Plan for food that fuels you. Don’t skip breakfast, have a plan for lunch, and don’t starve yourself before dinner. Make sure you have the groceries that you need. Choose foods that are appealing. No starvation diets.
5. Cut the multitasking. It stresses us out and makes us less effective. Really practice focusing on doing one thing at a time. You won’t get it perfect, but that’s okay, remember step number two.
6. Take emotional eating seriously. That doesn’t mean beating yourself up over it. Emotional eating happens when our spirit or our life isn’t getting fed the non-food things we need or crave. We have to pay attention to that and develop other ways of caring for ourselves. This can be complicated but it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. If you feel stuck, consider an emotional eating program or coach. There is so much more to life than this vicious cycle.
7. Don’t skip #1 (you’ll probably be tempted).

There are more steps, but hearing them now might just add to your overwhelm—and it’s okay not to know all the steps before you get started. Do what you can, give yourself credit, and let me know how it’s going.

Take good care,

I’ve put together a very brief (I promise it’s really brief) survey to help me understand what you are really looking for. Will you take three minutes to fill it out? In appreciation of your valuable time, I’ll pass along an audio of my recent interview: Emotional Eating: Don’t Let it Sabotage Your Plan.

The survey is completely confidential. Just go here to fill it out. If you prefer not to complete the survey, feel free to leave a comment to this post sharing your thoughts about what programs, topics, and services would be most appealing and helpful to you.

Take good care,

Take good care,

If you are like many women who’ve spent a lifetime (or what feels like one) struggling with weight and overeating, words like “breakthrough” may sound like unrealistic hype.  For many women who are worn out with food and weight struggles, a breakthrough may feel impossible.  Why?  Their current mindset is one of “struggle.”

Breakthroughs with food and weight aren’t hype and I’ll tell you why. If you are struggling or yo-yo dieting or feeling hopeless about your weight, a breakthrough is EXACTLY what you need. Anything less than a breakthrough is likely to involve you working up motivation to do more of what you’ve been doing. The truth: more of the same just keeps you where you already are.

So what exactly IS a breakthrough with food and weight?

A breakthrough is a brand new approach. If you’ve been stuck on the diet hamster wheel and getting nowhere—it’s learning how to step SIDEWAYS off the wheel so that you can do things differently. With overeating this might mean learning to shift from days defined as “good” or “bad” eating and using new strategies and tools to defuse stress eating, comfort eating, and other types of emotional eating.

A breakthrough is NOT working harder. In fact, a breakthrough usually eliminates unnecessary struggles and creates more ease. Breakthroughs with weight loss usually involve developing effective strategies that keep you motivated and feeling satisfied (not deprived) and letting go of strategies or weight loss plans that weren’t working for you in the first place.

A breakthrough is BIG. It might feel uncomfortable or even a bit scary at first because it’s very different from the way you’ve been doing or thinking.  One breakthrough I often see is the change that happens when a client realizes that they don’t have to go hungry and be hard on themselves in order to lose weight. This new approach changes everything—and it’s big.

A breakthrough involves a change in mindset. Clients in the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ programs give examples of letting go of mindsets that were holding them back: perfectionism, self-blame, and self-sabotaging beliefs. They are amazed at the energy that’s freed up and the changes in motivation that happen with these mindset shifts.

Breathroughs often happen when you try something new or engage a support system. It’s hard to see things in a new way or envision a different way of approaching things when you are alone with your own thoughts and familiar ways of being and doing.  This is one reason that coaching programs and mentors can be so effective at creating powerful change.

No matter your goal, it’s important to evaluate whether the path you are on is working.  What do you need to get where you want to go over the next six months—more of the same or a breakthrough?

Take good care,

Let us know what you think!  For more information on Too Much On Her Plate Week – go here.

Creating a powerful presence on a budget can be a challenge. That’s why you should use publicity avenues to get media coverage for your business or cause.

Getting the media to cover you can be the boost your organization or cause needs. Here’s why: your target market is seven times more likely to read or watch a news story than an advertisement.

However, the more influential the media, the more difficult it is to get their attention. If you want to get past the media’s defenses, you have to understand what they need.

Journalists tend to cover certain types of stories more often than not. They are always interested in topics such as sex and relationships, saving money, education and violence, corruption, sexual harassment, health and fitness, Hollywood and celebrities, sports, money making or saving, and travel.

Here are some examples to help you take full advantage of every opportunity presented to publicize you, your business or your cause:

1. Human-interest stories. These are those stories that evoke emotion, whether it’s about a person or a project. One effective approach is to tell a rags-to-riches tale, a success story.

2. Tie soft news with a big current event. This is called ‘piggybacking’ in the news business and is a great way to take a recent national headline and tie it in with your business, product or service. For example, if you are a wellness coach, you can establish yourself as an expert concerning obesity in children. You can comment on recent statistics on overweight children and how to reduce it. You are taking a headline that has already captured the attention of the audience and is providing a helpful solution.

3. The result of a customer survey or research. The media is always interested in findings of a research or a survey. Be sure that the topics are suitable for your area of expertise and also to include controversial questions that will surely capture the media’s attention.

4. A top 10 list. The simplicity of a top 10 list is fun to read and sure to attract attention. Use your area of expertise to create lists that will attract your media of choice’s target audience. If you are a lawyer, you can target those going through foreclosure through the Home and Living sections of the newspaper with such lists as “The Top Ways to Fix Your Credit” or “10 Ways to Budget Effectively to Prevent Foreclosures”.

5. Prove a popular belief wrong. Take a general assumption and put a controversial perspective to it. If you are trying to gain publicity for a credit card company, you can grab attention with headlines such as “If you think your credit card company will protect you against identity theft, think again!” However, do not turn this into an advertisement. Simply talk about the statistics of identity theft and the helplessness that accompanies it. Later in the article, provide the edge that the credit card company you represent has over its competitors in protecting its customers against the slightest possibility of being victimized by identity fraud.

6. Cash in for being the first. If your business is the first to have a free insurance protection plan or a 150% satisfaction guarantee policy, take advantage ofit! The media will want to cover this story because the audience will be attracted to how they can benefit.

©2009. Shannon Cherry/Be Heard Solutions.

Shannon Cherry is known as The Power Publicist. She helps business owners, solo professionals and entrepreneurs create a powerful presence online and offline using publicity. For more information and to receive your free Be Heard! publicity power pack visit http://www.BeHeardSolutions.com