Too Much on Her Plate

Follow Me

• 
• 
• 
• 

 

Success Traps that Sabotage: Gold Medal Excuse Number Three – “But They NEED Me!”

March 8th, 2010, No Comments »

This week I’m continuing to share “gold medal” excuses—excuses that stop us in our tracks and can get us VERY stuck in the pursuit out of overwhelm, away from overeating, and toward our best lives.

Many women get to be so busy and successful (in part) because they are so darn good at taking care of other people. A talent for nurturing is a great skill, and many of us have lots of practice at being kind, responsible, caring and aware of the needs of others.

The problem:  some women are so busy nurturing others that they’ve forgotten how (or don’t feel entitled) to nurture themselves. All that great caring, compassion and attention gets focused outward and very little energy is left over for replenishing. Giving away all our best stuff to others—because they need us–is a path that leads to depletion. All the energy gets paid out and not enough fuel comes in to allow us to really be at our best. The irony—when WE aren’t at our best, we don’t have our best to give. In the long run, everyone—including those whose care we prioritize—has to settle for second best.

The truth?

You may have people in your life who DO need you. A lot. I’m not disputing that, but having others need us doesn’t cancel out our own needs. Acknowledging this reality creates some dilemmas, uncomfortable situations, and conflict. That’s the reality, and denying our own needs is not a viable answer. Women can get very stuck when they try to avoid interpersonal discomfort, and respond to these dilemmas by consistently letting their own wishes and needs drop to the bottom of their priority list. The hard truth that some resist mightily, is that sometimes we have to say very difficult nos to others because we also need some yesses for ourselves.

You do have people who need you, and you’re one of them. You are one of those people who needs you.  Self care is not an either-or proposition even though your inner critic might tell you otherwise. Yes, you might have a little voice that tells you it’s “selfish” to focus on yourself or to take time for that yoga class or to ask the family to change their eating habits to accommodate your needs. But it isn’t. It’s important (more about that later).  This isn’t about not doing for others so that you can do for you, it’s about redividing the pie chart of your time and energy so that you get a piece too.  It’s about including yourself and your needs and wants on the to-do list. In the end, everyone’s piece on the pie chart may be a bit smaller, but the quality of the time and energy you have to distribute is likely to be far better.

They DO need you to be there for them—especially during difficult times. And they appreciate you being in top form—ready and able to respond. Managing your own health and stress are essential so that you can be present when you most need and want to be. No one is very helpful when they are exhausted, burnt out and irritable. When we get what we need and when our spirit is well fed, we have more energy, are more focused, more creative, more confident, and more effective. We’re also more vibrant and we bring more of who we really are and our unique gifts to the table.

We lead by example. Here’s one that nurturers often forget. When we live a pattern of neglecting our own needs so that we can respond to others, we are modeling this to those who are watching. We learn some of our most powerful lessons by example and we teach them as well. Most women I speak with want their children and others that they care about to eventually be able to stand up for themselves, to draw a clear boundary when necessary and to feel able to say no to certain requests. They want others to feel their best, to be healthy, to get regular exercise. eat well, and get the rest and care they need. If you are raising children, than you are the one showing them how to do these things. You are modeling whether  it is or isn’t acceptable to prioritize your own well being and happiness. We have a choice. We can model martyrdom or we can model a way of caring and compassion that also reflects the value that we give to our selves.

It isn’t easy. In fact, sometimes, claiming the time and energy we need to be our best is a daunting challenge.  It’s not something we need to perfect, but it is something that we need to aim for–consistently. Having the goal in our sites, and feeling entitled to pursue it, makes all the difference.

Take good care,

Free Teleseminar: Women Entrepreneurs and the Money and Fitness Factor

February 22nd, 2010, No Comments »

Are you looking for some fitness mojo? I’m excited to share a teleseminar where we’ll be addressing a topic that lives in the back of many women’s minds but that very few people actually talk about: the link between your health and fitness and your professional success.

• Are you a business owner or professional who feels like your struggles to “get healthy” are holding you back?

• Do you worry that your health or your unfit appearance don’t represent your premium brand or business?

• Is your energy subpar for the audience that should be buying from you?

• Is lack of sleep keeping you away from your ‘A’ game?

• Do fits and starts with food stall your inner champion somewhere near the water cooler?

If so, this free call is for you.  I’m so excited to be interviewing Ashley Mahaffey.  

Ashley Mahaffey, certified personal trainer and Ironman triathlon finisher, is a fitness strategy expert specializing as the secret weapon for speakers and traveling professionals who want to be lean and energized for their big platform. Ashley has trained NCAA champions and business leaders alike. For more information, visit www.AshleyMahaffey.com.

In this free call Ashley will cover:

- What The Money & Physical Fitness Factor is and how it affects all entrepreneurs

- What two foods may be keeping you from your weight loss success

- How changing 1 simple variable in any cardio routine can boost metabolism to burn fat

- 4 effective full body exercises that you can do at home or in your hotel room

Won’t you join us?

The call is Thursday, February 25 at 11am Pacific, 2pm Eastern.

The call will be recorded so please register even if you can’t make it. All who register will have access to the recording. Just go here to register.

Take good care,

Could You Use a Me-treat?

January 18th, 2010, No Comments »

When life is coming at you fast and furious, how do you take the time to create an effective response? How do you pause long enough to create a blueprint that will effectively help you achieve your goals and be your best self? While it would be great to escape to a deserted island and regroup, that’s usually not possible. However, a retreat from the day-to-day that allows you to focus on what’s important to you and create a plan to show up the way you want to in your life can be essential sometimes. And easier said than done.

I’ve designed a new program to address this issue specifically—with women who have too much on their plates specifically in mind. It’s called the Too Much On Her Plate Metreat and we kick things off in just over a week. If this speaks to you, I’d love to have you join us.

Take good care,

Overeating, Emotional Eating and Weight Struggles: Do they limit your professional success?

January 11th, 2010, No Comments »

I wanted to share this post from the Solo Entrepreneur blog (Solo-e) on how overeating and weight struggles can keep you from being your best self and the tools busy women need to create lasting changes.

Do your weight loss battles keep you from shining or playing as big as you’d like to? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Take good care,

Is “Me-time” Worth the Trouble?

January 6th, 2010, No Comments »

Creating time for ourselves all-too-often falls to the bottom of our priority lists–or slides off the darn list completely. Today I posted over at the Solo Entrepreneur Blog (Solo-e) on four steps to creating time for yourself and how this can benefit both your life and your business.  Repeat after me: “Me-time is NOT a luxury!”

Take good care,

And the survey says . . .Where IS the Time For “Me-Time”?

December 15th, 2009, No Comments »

Will you join me for a free teleseminar?

As you may remember, last month, I conducted a survey asking you about what was important to you and what topics you’d like more help with in the coming year (if you missed it and still want to participate, you can do so here. I’d love to hear from you and I’m giving away an audio about taking control of emotional eating just for participating).

It probably won’t surprise you that one of the most troublesome issues I heard about (over and over!) was that you just can’t figure out how to make time for yourself so that you can do the things you need to do to thrive and to enjoy your life and your work the way you want to.

As a result, many of you told me you are struggling with stress and overwhelm and the “side effects” of that missing “me time” and self care:

• Overeating
• Compromised health and/or wellness
• Diminished energy
• Decreased productivity
• Reduced focus (including getting distracted from your own goals and priorities)
• Diminished passion for the things that are truly important to you
• Exhaustion and stress

Basically, life just isn’t nearly as great as it could be.

Thanks to all of you who responded. I’m so glad you brought this up. It’s a subject near and dear to my heart. And yes, of course I struggle with it too. And it would benefit us all to get even a teeny bit better with this “me-time” stuff. All the best intentions won’t get us anywhere (except worn out) if we can’t find the way to put them into effective action so that they work for us.

I’ve decided to start 2010 by tackling this issue head on. After all, when we are struggling with what I’ve described, it’s pretty difficult to move forward in the areas we want to make changes in.

If what I’m talking about strikes a chord for you, you’ll want to be at my upcoming free teleseminar: 2010 Smart Women’s Jumpstart: How To Ditch the Overwhelm and Bad Habits That Drain Your Energy and Hold You Back in Life and Business on January 13th at 5:00 PM EST/ 2:00 PM PST.

You’ll want to be on the call live if at all possible. However, I will be recording the call so that if you can’t make it, you’ll have access to a recording to listen to when you are able.

On this info-packed powerful call you’ll learn:

• Why your personal goals and dreams are crucial to your success in business and the rest of your life.
• The number one mistake that keeps many savvy women stressed and overwhelmed and how to avoid it.
• A trick for leveraging your strengths and increasing your personal effectiveness
• How to get out of overwhelm and move into action.

… and much more

Reserve your spot now and as the date comes closer, I’ll remind you .

Take good care,

7 Ways to Avoid Overeating When the Holiday Treats Are EVERYWHERE

December 14th, 2009, 2 Comments »

Enjoying  the holidays AND feeling in control with holiday treats and choices can be a challenge—‘tis the season. Clients and vendors are sending boxes of chocolates and holiday treats. Everyone and her mother is baking, the lunchroom has a counter full of cookie trays and everyone’s desk seems to have sprouted a candy jar overnight. It’s wonderful—unless you are trying to lose weight or gain control of emotional eating and overeating.

Here are some tips for staying in the driver’s seat with food and weight during the holidays:

1. Have plans. Make decisions ahead of time about what you are truly interested in savoring and indulging in and the portion that you will take.  For instance, there are certain once-a-year homemade foods and artisan chocolates that I only see in December. I do indulge in these, and I make sure that I mindfully enjoy every bite. On the other hand, I don’t really need to taste the candy canes, colored M&Ms, and store bought desserts that aren’t really that special to me. Knowing I’m going to eat the really special stuff means I don’t feel deprived when I don’t eat the other choices. One more thing–when you do indulge–serve yourself a portion. Don’t just keep going back for tiny tastes. By serving yourself and stopping to eat and really taste it, you’ll enjoy it more and probably eat less.
2. Find solidarity. If you work in an office, I can practically guarantee you that you aren’t the only one who’d like to stay on track with your eating and your weight this season. Can you and your coworkers agree on areas where the food will and won’t be? Can you find a partner to keep you motivated and to talk you down when the food is just too compelling? Someone who’d like to spend their break taking a brisk walk instead of smelling the sugary treats?
3. Don’t go hungry. You’ll eat more and have less impulse control. Make sure that you have healthy and filling options around. I know you are busy, but take the time to pack a healthy lunch.
4. Be aware of the times of day when you are more tempted or more susceptible to emotional eating (stress eating, comfort eating, eating as a pick-me-up). Know the occasions when you might be especially tempted and create a strategy ahead of time that you can implement–instead of overeating.
5. If you do overindulge (don’t we all?) forgive yourself and keep moving forward making the best choices you know how to make. Resist any urge to beat yourself up about it. Self blame tends to lead to emotional overeating or bingeing or all-or-nothing eating (“Now I’ve blown it so I might as well go all out!”). Not helpful.
6. Find other ways to socialize, take care of yourself, or reward yourself that don’t involve food so that avoiding the cookie tray isn’t all about deprivation. What nonfood treat can you have instead of eating food you don’t want to indulge in?
7. Join the party. Share a dish that you want to enjoy and that you really love. It doesn’t have to be dessert–in fact, your colleagues will probably appreciate a break from all the sugar. What about a pot of soup or a favorite tea? This is the time of year I love a bowl of satsumas to snack on.

Take good care,

Office Fitness: Time Efficient Cardio

November 17th, 2009, 1 Comment »

Hello there. This is Scott Tousignant back with another guest blog post to help you incorporate home office fitness into your hectic schedule. Yesterday I shared a quick home office workout to help you get more done in less time throughout your workday. Today I will have you perform a 10-minute home office cardio session that will boost your metabolism and increase your productivity.

But first I have a question for you. Have you been avoiding cardio because you simply don’t have the time? Allow me to provide you with a solution that fits your busy entrepreneurial lifestyle. I don’t want you to think about this 10-minute cardio session as ‘taking 10-minutes out of your day’. This 10-minute cardio session will actually give you more time in your day. Once you complete this fast and fun home office fitness session you will be energized, more focused, and ready to check off your to-do list quicker than ever before.

It’s time for you to take a quickie fitness break. Your health is the #1 asset in your business and this break will do wonders to keep this asset functioning at peak performance. It’s just 10-minutes. Everyone has 10-minutes… lets go!

Time Efficient Cardio

How do you feel after challenging your body and getting your blood pumping? Are you ready to tackle today’s tasks? Is your mind clear?

There are two times during the day that I recommend you perform this quickie cardio session. Set your alarm ten minutes earlier and get the best start to your day. There is no better way to boost your energy and prepare yourself for the day than with a quickie cardio session. Alternatively you can perform this session around 1pm when you typically begin to feel tired and sluggish and when your productivity begins to drop off. This quick home office fitness session will give you a great boost to carry you through the rest of your day. Ideally you should perform this cardio session first thing in the morning and do a quickie home office workout at 1pm.

Is 10-minutes really enough time for an effective cardio workout? Absolutely! My clients and myself have been experiencing better results from the quicker cardio sessions than we ever did from longer typical cardio sessions. It certainly has a great impact on your metabolism, but it’s my opinion and belief that the reason why it’s so effective is because it’s easier to stick with for the long term because it suits your buys lifestyle.

If you have the time and you enjoy jogging, biking, or going for a brisk walk, I highly recommend that you incorporate it into your day as well. I’m not one of those fitness guru’s who bash long duration cardio. I actually enjoy riding my bike for 30 minutes during the warmer months of the year. I enjoy going for a brisk walk during the colder winter months. And it does product great results for me. I have found that the best results are achieved when there is a combination of both the short and long duration cardio scheduled into your week.

In order to maximize my time and work more efficient and effective I load up my mp3 player with educational audios, audio books, or recorded calls from my mentors before I go out for a brisk walk or jog. I use my cardio time as education time. I also use this time to clear my head and plan for the day.

Fitness shouldn’t be something that you dread. It should be something that you embrace.

You ROCK! Enjoy the experience,

Scott Tousignant

PS Don’t use lack of time as an excuse to put off your health. You deserve this quickie fitness break. Your business deserves it. Your family deserves it.

Office Fitness: The Time Multiplier

November 16th, 2009, 2 Comments »

Hi there. My name is Scott Tousignant and I am super excited for the opportunity to be guest blogging here this week as part of my Home Office Fitness Blog Tour. Too Much On Her Plate is one of my favorite blogs and I think Melissa totally ROCKS!

Entrepreneurial women have my highest respect and mompreneurs totally blow my mind with what they are able to accomplish in 24 hours. You are SuperWoman! You do it all. You run a business, take care of your family, and help make the world a better place. You never hesitate to lend a hand to a friend in need and you leap at the opportunity to improve your community. You make us mere mortals look like sloths.

But when it comes to taking care of the most important person, YOU, there never seems to be enough time. That’s your Kryptonite… You put the needs of everyone else ahead of your own. It’s great to help others. It’s rewarding and gratifying. But what you must realize is that when you take care of YOU, everyone else WINS in a big way.

Do you honestly think that there’s not enough time in your day for fitness? It’s my mission to prove to you that not only do you have enough time for fitness, but that you can actually get more done throughout your day when you incorporate office fitness into your day.

Office fitness is your “Time Multiplier”. You will get more done in less time as a result of the increased productivity, energy, and focus that you experience from home office workouts. You’ll also experience improved quality of work and time management too. When you consider all the benefits of incorporating fitness into your workday you’ll realize that you can’t afford to avoid it.

Want More Time In Your Day? Take This Eight Minute Fitness Break…

Time Efficient and Effective Office Workout

One of the keys to a successful business is working more efficient and effective. Quickly completing the most important tasks that will have the biggest impact on your profits. The same holds true with your fitness. You want to get the most bang for your buck and achieve the greatest results possible in the shortest time possible.

The eight minute home office workout that I shared with you above uses three of the most effective exercises that you can perform; squats, piston rows, and the chest press. These exercises have an incredible impact on your metabolism especially when they are performed in quickie fashion. Using the stability ball for the chest press works additional muscles such as your glutes, thighs, abs, and lower back. It’s an easy way to work more muscles in less time.

There’s no need to sacrifice precious time by spending hours in the gym. You can achieve a greater impact from a 10-minute quickie than you could with a typical gym workout that lasts forty-five to sixty minutes. It may seem hard to believe, but it’s true. 10-minute quickie home office workouts is the definition of working more efficient and effective.

How does quick home office fitness multiply your time? First, you only need to workout for 10-minutes compared to 45-minutes so you are gaining an extra 35 minutes. Second, you don’t need to leave your office, which saves you travel time and prep time. Third, after the quick fitness break you will experience greater focus and clarity. Distractions will be a thing of the past. Fourth, you will have more energy, which will reflect in your productivity and quality of work.

Quickie home office workouts not only require very little time, but they also require very little space and very little equipment. As you noticed from the workout video above, I performed the workout in approximately 3 feet by 5 feet space and I used a stability ball and a set of dumbbells. That’s all that you need for a great workout. No need to spend money on expensive fancy equipment or a gym membership.

Tomorrow I will demonstrate a quick 10-minute cardio session that you can do in your home office, which will boost your energy and increase your productivity. You won’t even need any equipment. All that’s required for tomorrow’s quickie cardio is your own body weight. It will be fast and it will be fun.

If you have any questions or comments about home office fitness please do not hesitate to ask. Simply share your comment in the box below. That reminds me. I’ll be randomly selecting a winner from the people who share their comments on my blog posts this week. The prize is my Fat Loss Quickie Home Office Fitness program. So take a moment and share your thoughts and opinions below.

You ROCK! Enjoy the experience,

Scott Tousignant

PS Here’s a gift to help boost your motivation to incorporate home office fitness into your day. It’s the Fat Loss Quickie Motivation Report and it’s jam packed with motivational strategies to overcome obstacles and achieve an unstoppable mindset. I hope that you enjoy it.

Stressed With Work? My Favorite Strategy

September 24th, 2009, No Comments »

Why turn to food you aren’t really hungry for when work overloads you?  I have a much better idea.

It has been a challenging few days around here.  I’ve had too much to do.  A backlog of projects for my business, adjusting to back-to-school schedules at home ( and all the events that go with that), and a bunch of unexpected demands, have left me feeling stretched pretty thin. So I’m implementing one of my favorite easy and rewarding self care strategies.

One lovely thing.

The rules: I do one lovely thing for myself—just for me—each day.  It doesn’t have to be anything major, just lovely–and good for my soul.  Today I’m cutting a bunch of incredible smelling lavender and putting it on my desk.

Want to play? What lovely thing can you do for you?