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Do You Speak or Eat Your Mind?

One of the biggest triggers for emotional eating is anger. Eating when we’re angry, frustrated, irritated, feeling like we’ve been treated unfairly—we may call it different names, but these words usually boil down to feeling angry. Anger, and the conflict that often accompanies it, makes many people—especially women—uncomfortable.  Many of us go to great lengths to avoid expressing our anger directly.  Even when we’ve learned to face the conflicts and the sticky situations head-on in professional settings, we may still shy away from addressing our anger in our personal lives.

Want to know what many of us do with anger?  We swallow it.  Literally.

Many women who feel strong and competent in other areas of their lives, feel so uncomfortable with anger and frustration that they turn to food to avoid it, change it, bury it, or sometimes even turn the anger on themselves.

One of my clients said it beautifully.  She told me, “I don’t like anger and it makes me uncomfortable.  When I get angry with someone I eat at them.” Then she laughed.  “Fat lot of good it does me.”  Exactly.

Taking control of emotional eating isn’t just about food.  In fact, sometimes it’s hardly about food.  It’s about taking on challenging issues and learning to cope with them differently and directly.  That’s one of the reasons that taking charge of emotional eating is so empowering. Taking charge of emotional eating transforms you.

I talk quite a bit about how struggles with food and weight hold many successful women back.  This is another important example.  If we aren’t comfortable standing tall and facing conflict head on and if we don’t have the tools to deal with anger in an effective manner that reflects our best selves, we’re not fully in the game.  It’s not about choosing different foods to eat, it’s about learning the tools and strategies that help you move beyond emotional eating and dieting by approaching the rest of your life more effectively.

What do you think? Is anger an emotional eating trigger for you? Do you speak your mind or eat at people?

Take good care,

2 Responses to “Do You Speak or Eat Your Mind?”

1. Kathy new mexico says:

   October 19, 2009 at 5:04 pm

   I found that I used to ALWAYS eat my emotions, especially anger. What I do now when I’m angry and want to eat, is I sit down and formulate a plan to rresolve the issue. I’m not ususally very good at quick comebacks or any kind of rapid response. But if I sit down shortly after the incident and write out a plan or just think through a plan, I feel much more empowered and in control. And I don’t have to eat at them, thank goodness! My next challenge is following through with the plans, especially those long term ones….
2. Melissa says:

   October 19, 2009 at 5:33 pm

   Kathy,
   I try to remind myself that those quick comebacks are usually reserved for the movies LOL! I think that the sole act of acknowledging that I’m feeling SOMETHING and I DON”T know what to do can be empowering. It allows me to start working on the real issue rather than doing something to avoid the issue. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment.