Overeating and Overwhelmed? I Have a Message For You

important messageSomeone recently asked me what I would change about my business if I could. Of course, I have a to-do list (grin), but the first thing that came out of my mouth was this:

I wish I could more easily show women how self care and paying attention to the issues I help them focus on isn’t self indulgent and isn’t fluff. Getting to the root of overeating battles, learning how to create a life that feeds you, and crafting a plan to invest in yourself is one of the most important investments you can make in the rest of your life, your business or profession, and your relationships.

The truth: YOU are your most valuable asset. YOU are what you bring to the table, not only in your personal life, but in your business as well. If you are treating yourself like an old beat up clunker instead of a well-oiled machine, the consequences reverberate widely. Not just for you, but for the causes, concerns, and people who you care for as well.

I heard something very sad today. A marketing and business coach said that although “mompreneurs” (moms who are starting their own business), are such a huge and growing group, she advises against starting a business that specializes in providing services to them. Why? Well, she said that her research shows that this is a group that has a hard time investing in themselves, and by relation, in their businesses. “They’ll spend their money on everyone else in their family before they’ll think of investing in themselves or their company.”  Sound familiar? It’s not true for everyone, but I would agree that many women struggle mightily when it comes to investing in themselves. And they often pay a big price for not allowing themselves what they really need.

The lessons to put everyone else first run deep. For some, it’s almost as automatic as breathing. And it can be so ingrained that women become unaware of the price they are paying.

I hear clients and women who participate in my programs saying, “I know this is silly. I shouldn’t need to do a program like this. But I do.” Do you hear how hard that belief makes it to get what you need? –and how brave one has to be to move forward anyway? The truth is that these women are doing something that takes courage—looking a battle straight in the eyes and investing in creating a better way of living and being. Good on them.

Battles with food, stress, and overwhelm are a sign that life is out of balance. They are what happen when women aren’t getting what they really need, what they really crave, and what allows them to run at their best.

Battles with food, stress, and overwhelm indicate that you are out of balance.  You’re not well fueled. And that means you are not able to reliably access one hundred percent of who you are—your creativity, your passion, your wisdom. You’re not at one hundred percent and you probably know it. My bet would be that it impacts your confidence. Your posture. Your mindset. The stand you take in the world. Everything.

You are the choices that you make. And every time you do not stand up for yourself and for what you need, there is a consequence.  That choice echoes through the rest of your life. Investing in YOU is one of the most powerful things you can do. It’s not self indulgent. It’s not silly. It’s not fluff.

Am I making my point?  I’d love to hear your thoughts, your disagreements and your amens. Let’s start a conversation.

Take good care,

Melissa

Facebook comments:

3 Responses to “Overeating and Overwhelmed? I Have a Message For You”

  1. Ande says:
    April 7, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    I am a living, breathing testament to the truth you’ve so beautifully stated in this post. Four years ago, my husband suffered a severe head injury that wiped out 95 percent of his lifetime memories. I abandoned my writing career and through myself into an internet business, working everyday, trying to save us financially. I ate through the whole process, piling back on over 100 pounds that I’d just removed over the previous couple years (and I put those on by eating through other problems). All that work didn’t bring me anything except a size 26, and eventually, I suffered my own accident and ended up bedridden and then in rehab for nearly a year. And now we’re in the financial pits.

    Now I don’t tell this whole story as a poor pitiful me–I’m telling it to put a strong exclamation point on the end of your post. I got in the situation I’m currently in because I abandoned who I was. I’m not a mom (except to a dog :) ), but I still lost me in the process of trying to be everything my husband and our home needed.

    I am in the process of finding my way back and I know that finding ways to feel good is the absolutely most important thing I can do. Action from a place of lack is worthless.

  2. Melissa McCreery says:
    April 7, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Patricia, I am a big believer in the power of meditation and other mindfulness practices. What I find is that busy women (including myself here) can know the value and still have a hard time giving ourselves the permission to take the time to do these things. Thanks so much for adding your thoughts.
    Ande–wow. Your story is so powerful that I can feel it in my bones–as is your intention to find your way back. I am so grateful for all that you shared. Talk about an exclamation point! As an aside, I’m not just writing about moms here, I thought the reference was a very real example of the problem though. I’m so struck by your words–”I abandoned who I was.” That’s the crux of it for so many women. There seems to be this belief that we can function on auto-pilot while we take care of the rest of the world.

  3. Ande says:
    April 7, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    I’ve come to understand that overeating is a big flashing neon warning sign, or maybe a robot with flailing arms, like the one in Lost In Space :) . It’s saying–STOP you’re not being true to yourself. I just turned 50 so this has taken me a long time to figure out. I spent the first 35 years of my life bingeing and dieting and exercising like a mad woman to maintain a size 8 to 12 body, then things fell apart and I went up to 100 pounds overweight, lost it, and now, at over 100 pounds overweight, I’m finally getting it.

    A couple years ago, I was receiving craniosacral therapy, and the bodyworker asked me what I felt. I blurted out, “There’s an elephant on my chest.” She asked me the elephants name. I laughed but said, “Elly.” She asked what the elephant wanted. I said the first thing that came to mind: “She wants me to stop. I’m going in the wrong direction.” This was when I’d walked away from my book writing career and begun the internet stuff. Did I listen to Elly?

    Nope. I kept going. And I think every time I dove into a package of cookies or inhaled a pizza, it was Elly shouting, “STOP! You’re not doing what’s right for you!”

    I’m finally listening to Elly. And I’ve stopped bingeing. I’m not dieting yet–not ready for some reason–too much else going on, I think. But I’m not bingeing, and that’s huge (excuse the pun ;) ).

    We need to listen to our elephants … and our food cravings. :)

Leave a Reply