Too Much on Her Plate

Follow Me

Perfectionism and emotional eating: 5 signs that your inner perfectionist is causing trouble

Perfectionism is a very tempting trap to fall into. For those who are prone to it, the idea that it is possible to get everything “just right” is a very seductive standard to shoot for. The truth is, trying to get it (whatever IT is) “perfect” can make emotional eating, or whatever you are trying to take control of, much worse. Perfectionism leads to all-or-nothing thinking. To our inner perfectionist, it’s either perfect or not good enough. If we didn’t get all the checks in the box, our inner perfectionist tends to believe we “blew it” and anything we’ve accomplished is instantly erased with one mistake.

An all-or-nothing approach to weight loss will sink weight loss efforts fast. It’s simply not possible to be “perfect.”

Is perfectionism getting in your way? Here are five ways perfectionism shows up with eating and weight loss:

1. Do you wake up in the morning thinking “today is a fresh start?” Lots of us love a new beginning, but that feeling of starting over often includes the idea of “getting it right this time.” When we think this way, we run the risk of not taking credit for all we have accomplished and learned so far.

2. Does your newest approach to eating fall apart because you did something “wrong” and feel your efforts were ruined? That’s your inner perfectionist. Perfectionism doesn’t include the message that there will be rough patches and missteps, and doesn’t offer a plan for dealing with them.

3. If you deviate from your plan for your eating, do you react by overeating even more? That’s not logical, it’s perfectionism and it is incredibly common. It’s usually not the first step off your food plan that leads to weight gain or plan failure, it’s the eating you do once your inner perfectionist tells you that it’s “hopeless” because you’ve “failed.” Actually, you ate something you hadn’t planned to and you go back to your plan, you WILL make progress.

4. Do you have expectations for “ideal eating” that are so unrealistic or rigid that you could never imagine sticking with them for a lifetime? Or—do you begin to feel deprived just thinking about how you “should” eat? Your perfectionist is setting you up.

5. Are you plagued by perfectionism in other areas of your life? This is another way our sneaky perfectionist can sabotage weight loss and trigger emotional eating. If we get wise and learn to let go of our perfectionism with food, our perfectionist may still maintain a rigid hold in other areas. When our perfectionist is doing the judging we are NEVER good enough. No job is EVER absolutely complete, and we are NEVER allowed the satisfaction of feeling great about what we accomplish. Coping with an inner perfectionist—whether it’s negatively judging our work, our parenting, our housecleaning OR our health is enough to bring out the emotional eater in most of us.

Take good care,

Melissa

5 Responses to “Perfectionism and emotional eating: 5 signs that your inner perfectionist is causing trouble”

1. Christine says:

   January 24, 2009 at 11:05 pm

   Seriously…how did you get in my head and read my thoughts? This is the first time I’ve actually seen my “affliction” put into words so clearly. Thank you…I plan to read some more of your entries. Like, now.
2. melissa says:

   February 16, 2009 at 1:14 pm

   Hi Christine,
   Sorry I didn’t respond to you right away (technical difficulties!). So glad that you enjoyed the post and found it helpful.
3. John says:

   April 26, 2009 at 7:02 pm

   Big thanks for this article. Weight loss is extremely low on my priorities. However, this article could be applied to developing any new habit. I’ve had this perfectionistic issue with socializing, dating, professional work product and sometimes even academics. When your perfectionist socially, it really ruins you.

   This article is the first to address the matter from your precise angle.
4. Nancy Curtis says:

   October 21, 2009 at 6:46 pm

   Thanks so much…this was right on with my weight loss efforts. I will go along doing great and then an “imperfect” moment happens and I allow that to snowball into something bigger than it ever needed to be! It’s so comforting to know that it’s a good thing to be imperfect! I am so looking forward to your program in November. Your book is AWESOME.
5. Melissa says:

   October 22, 2009 at 6:32 pm

   Thanks Nancy! Thanks for your comments on the Emotional Eating Toolbox(TM). Glad it’s helpful!