Breaking Automatic Overeating Habits | Transitions (Part Two) | TMOHP 007

Knowing the value of something and then being able to implement it can be two very different things. This is especially true when it comes to making changes with food - and there are so many good reasons for this (that’s a whole season of podcast episodes!).

Making real changes with your eating habits and shifting patterns of overeating or emotional eating happens in teeny tiny moments. Teeny tiny moments that are easily missed if you haven’t mastered the skill of honoring transitions. This topic is so important, I’m covering it in two back-to-back episodes. 

Let’s talk about upping your transition game and strengthening your pausing muscle - both why it’s important, and how to actually implement this advice.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

  • How to move from reactive to proactive
  • Why constantly “doing” is so seductive (and how it can cause us to be out of touch with ourselves)
  • The power of pausing
  • How to get better at being present with some concrete small steps

Featured on the show:

Episode Transcript

Sometimes a podcast episode just isn't enough. And I realized after recording last week's episode about breaking automatic over eating habits and the importance of transitions, that there was some more important stuff to say. Let me tell you first about what happened yesterday. Yesterday, I had a busy day with some important, there were just some important happenings and I knew at one point in the late morning that I needed to take a break. And so I decided, you know what, I'm going to put my shoes on. I'm going to walk some stuff over to the mailbox that needs to be mailed. And I'm going to take a short little walk before I dive into the next thing went and put on my shoes. This was about 10 in the morning. And, um, 4 45 that afternoon. I found myself sitting at my desk, still wearing my shoes, never having gotten outside. 

I absolutely skipped that very intentional planned out plan for a transition. Let me tell you something else that happened yesterday. Yesterday was a coaching group call for people in the missing piece program. Someone in the program who's been really putting her heart into changing her relationship with food said, you know what? I'm so frustrated because I keep setting the plan up to stop and pause, take a transition before I eat and just check in about whether I'm hungry or not. And you know what keeps happening. I keep forgetting to do it. It doesn't even occur to me. I'm just not following through on this thing. We need to talk a little bit more about the problem of skimping on transitions, denying ourself transitions and the pause that is absolutely required between activities and why it is absolutely required, why it is so important. Here's the problem we're wired to keep going and to keep doing, especially, I think this is especially true. 

If you are somebody who's living with chronic stress or overwhelm or in a state of constant, busy-ness your thoughts? Your brain is going to default to what to do. What am I going to do? What should I do? What do I do next? That's going to be the default pathway in your brain. The thing is doing and being are two very different things, autopilot doing, which is a lot of what is happening when your brain is saying, okay, what do I do? What do I do? What I do next? What's the next thing? Autopilot doing is reactive. Often, it's a direct response or a reaction to whatever the thing is. That's just right in front of you or to the first thought that jumps into your head or to the next email that appears in your inbox. It's a reaction. And we often do autopilot doing as a way to avoid feeling or in an attempt to somehow remedy the feeling or the emotion. And here's where it can get a little bit tricky to explain this and where your thoughts may back against 

What I'm saying, because I know doing can be incredibly productive. Of course it can. Doing is probably how you've achieved so much of the success that you've achieved in your life, right? But doing from a place of not being grounded and not being intentional, that's reactive transitions are the places in our day where we have an opportunity there, the places in our day, where we have the opportunity to pause. And when we do that to check in with ourselves, to actually assess what we need, what we want and what we feel. And when we know those things, when we can take a pause, when we can actually check in with ourselves and assess what's going on, then we can move forward intentionally and smartly. You can't be intentional or purposeful if you aren't present in the moment. And if you're not connected to yourself and you can't connect with yourself, if you're constantly in reaction mode, reacting to whatever life is throwing at you at the moment, honoring transitions and taking a pause in between things. 

It's how we get grounded. It's how we know what we're thinking and feeling and needing whether we're hungry or stressed or tired, or whether we're about to blow a gasket and knowing these things is the first absolutely essential step. To being able to respond to ourselves, to take care of ourselves, to meet our needs, to make a choice, to respond to the situation, the need, or the feeling or the desire with something that isn't food. If you're not present, you can't make a choice if you aren't stopping. And if you're constantly in reaction mode, you aren't present. Transitions are that shift between things. So when you're shifting from one activity to another, or from dealing with one kind of relationship, like being a parent, to having a nice conversation with your spouse, or when you're even shifting from locations, when you're in the car between activities going somewhere else, between paces, between being in work, work, work mode, and coming home to a place where you're going to hopefully relax, transitions are the opportunity transitions that space in between things. 

That's the opportunity that we have to come back to earth to come back into our bodies. To remember that we're more than a brain or a head full of thoughts. And to do items, transitions are our opportunities to reconnect with our humanness and to practice self-care to make new choices, instead of just barreling straight ahead and eating an acting on autopilot. Here's the thing. If you're out of practice with taking transitions, they won't come naturally, pausing will feel awkward or wrong. Like you should be doing something or like that member and your missing piece, you'll be frustrated because you keep absolutely forgetting to do it. You're forgetting to stop and pause and pay attention and stress and overwhelm and busy-ness can make it harder. But just like you can work on something like, you know, building up your core strength by doing a plank and doing it for a few seconds more each day, you can also gradually increase the strength of your pausing muscle. 

You can gradually increase your ability to create purposeful transitions and then purposeful choices in your life. So if you recognize yourself in what I'm describing here, it's time to start practicing, practicing, pausing, practicing, taking 30 seconds to breathe before you start the next thing, practicing, finishing the one thing, maybe taking the notes you need to take and making the adjustments in your calendar, putting the files away before you dive into the next thing, practicing placing a teeny tiny bit of extra space, five extra minutes between the things in your calendar, practicing, noticing when you're transitioning between activities and noticing which transitions feel good and which don't and noticing the transitions where you tend to mindlessly grab something to eat and asking yourself in those moments, those moments, when you actually remember to pause, cause remember you won't do it all the time because that muscle is weak asking yourself, what do I know about what I'm feeling? 

What do I know about what I'm needing? What do I know about what I'm wanting, transforming your relationship with food and creating freedom from overeating and emotional eating require your presence. It is absolutely time to up your pause game. Okay? And if you want help and you want coaching to shift out of overload and overwhelm and overeating, then I strongly recommend you check out the missing piece program because that's where we work together, where I help members shift your mindset, ditch the diet and deprivation thinking, and actually create the strategies that fit you that will lead to lasting change starts small acknowledge. If your muscles are weak, know that any teeny, tiny bit of practice is going to make them stronger up your pause game. You can start right now. 

Go pause. Honor the transition between listening to this and moving on with the rest of your day. 

I'll talk to you soon.

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Your Missing Peace is the psychologist-designed program that provides the tools, the support, the coaching, and the confidence to create freedom from emotional eating and overeating. Finally - emotional eating help done right! Your Missing Peace is specifically designed for smart, high-achieving women who are DONE with diets, who want a lasting solution, and who are ready to take their power back from food, from overeating, and the scale. 

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