Somebody asked me today what my approach was to helping my clients lose weight. Here’s what I told her. “I take on the non-food part.”
I told her that in my experience, most people who are struggling with food and weight know the food part upside down and backwards. Diet veterans know about eating less and exercising more. Most can write out a pretty spiffy plan of what they “should” be doing. Information about food is usually not the problem. The problem is the implementation.
Knowing and doing are two different things. Unfortunately, many “plans” don’t send that message and when users of the plan fail they often fall into the trap of blaming themselves, not realizing that the plan left out a crucial component: if you’re going to “not do” something, you need to have a plan for what you are going “to do” instead.
As a brilliant participant in the Weight Loss Winner’s Circle said yesterday, “Having the goal to not do something (eat less) is not really a goal. You are taking something away. When you set out to not do something, what you end up with is a hole.”
I help people fill the hole. My job, as I see it, is to help my clients create a life that feeds their cravings. When we have the tools and resources we need to cope with our needs and feelings and with hard times, our relationship with food shifts dramatically. When our life becomes more of a reward, chocolate doesn’t hold the same power that it used to.
My approach means that my groups and coaching programs aren’t filled with talk about weight or calories or what to eat for breakfast. Much of the work that we do focuses on taking the focus off food. Learning other ways to take care of ourselves, find comfort, relieve stress, and celebrate. And we laugh—a lot. Not only that, but the process is it’s own reward.
I hope you’ll keep these ideas in mind as you move forward in your weight loss journey.
* Don’t set negative goals.
* Fill the holes.
* Have fun along the way.
Take good care,
Melissa
