When you aren’t achieving what you want to, either because you can’t seem to get started, or because, in spite of your best efforts, the results just aren’t showing up, it’s discouraging.
Being disappointed in your results can set lose a Pandora’s box of feelings and reactions that feel awful and can make your results even worse (ever thrown yourself a junk food fest after you got really mad at yourself for “blowing” a diet?).
We high-performers can be especially hard on ourselves when we don’t stick with the plans we’ve designed or don’t achieve our goals.
We trash talk ourselves (“I’m fat,” “I’m just lazy.” “I have no discipline.” “I can’t believe how stupid I was to take that doughnut without even thinking about it.”).
We punish and deprive ourselves and in general, we can get stuck thinking a lot of things that leave us feeling bad. Let’s be honest –
We would never treat or talk to a loved one the way we respond to ourselves when we’re disappointed with our results.
Just in case you recognize yourself here, don’t let this set off another wave of self-disappointment or shame.
It’s okay. This can be the moment when you do it differently.
Are you ready to use your lack of results as fuel for something better? Here’s the first step to take.
What to do when you’re disappointed with your results
When you’re disappointed with your results, the first thing to do is to stop yourself from jumping down the rabbit hole of guilt, blame, and shame. Whether you aren’t seeing results from your hard work or you’re realizing that you just can’t seem to even get started or stick with your mission, the blame and guilt game won’t serve you at all. It’s a deep dark place that will just keep you stuck.
Stuck is not where you want to be. So take a deep breath (do it with me now). Look down at your feet and make a decision. Where do you want to step next?
The truth is, you can be stuck or you can be moving.
You can freeze or you can run in circles, or you can move angrily backward, farther away from your goal than you are now.
Or, you can take another deep breath and take one solid step that takes you closer to where you want to end up.
Take it now. Don’t wait for Monday or next month or the next full moon. Look at your feet. Inhale and exhale. Take the next action. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
Throw out the rest of the candy bar in your hand.
Start brainstorming how you can get more support.
Drink a glass of water.
Ask yourself what there is to learn from your lack of success so far.
Do what you would do for anyone else that you love and care about.
Do ONE tangible thing. Get the ball rolling in a new direction.
Change is possible. Results do happen. But you have to climb out of the shame/blame/guilt hole to take the next step.