Last post I outlined how neglecting self-care can be a common path leading to self-sabotage. Here are a few more common mindsets that may cause high-achievers to stumble in reaching their goals.
2. You are flying solo. This is a very difficult one for women who expect a lot of themselves. If you have a goal and you aren’t accomplishing it, one of the first questions you should be asking is whether you could use some help. Could you use a coach or a mentor? Here’s where the fun comes in. Notice the conversation you have with yourself when you ask this question. Many high-achievers will run circles around themselves in order to avoid getting the quality support that might quickly propel them forward.
Notice the head game: “I should be able to do this on my own.” “Other people don’t struggle with this.” “I’m a strong person, I can do this.” Again, here’s the truth: strong people do ask for help. Successful people surround themselves with teams that can support them in accomplishing their goal. They leverage the time, expertise, and energy of others.
Asking for help is NOT a form of weakness. It’s often the bravest and the most pro-active thing that you can do to create your own success. Here’s another interesting fact. If you are someone who struggles with asking for help, it’s probably easier than you think. You don’t even need to know what you need. Approach someone you trust, share your dilemma, and simply ask, “I’m not sure what I need here, do you have any ideas about how you or someone else could help me with this?”
3. You are cutting the wrong corners. Success requires an investment. Most importantly, this means an investment of yourself—your time, your energy, and your focus, and sometimes, your finances. Having the time, energy, and focus committed to your goal are critical ingredients for success—no matter what you are trying to accomplish. Sounds straightforward, right? Unfortunately, many busy people try to skip this step. Either head games get in the way (if you feel guilty spending time and energy on yourself, you’ll get caught here), or you might not really know how to do this.
Shifting gears and priorities, carving out space and time, and persisting when things get tough are incredibly difficult tasks—especially when you are a busy woman who expects a lot from herself. Before you purchase another “how-to” book or program, ask yourself whether you’d be better off investing in a coach who could help you create the physical, mental, and emotional space and foundation necessary for you to implement the plans that you already have.
I hope you’ll join me next time for the final two paths. These may just surprise you a bit!