Why you never win food and weight battles

“I’ve been fighting with food my whole life.”

“I’m so sick and tired of fighting with my weight. I don’t think I’ll ever win.”

“It’s been going really well and I’ve lost twenty-five pounds. I just wonder how long it will last.”

These are real quotes from real women who contacted me recently about my emotional eating coaching programs. I get emails almost daily from women who’ve spent more energy than you can measure fighting with weight, battling the scale, and trying desperately to control their eating.

Even when things are going “well,” it can feel like a tightrope act requiring constant discipline, vigilance, and will power.

It’s exhausting. And the sad thing is, it’s a losing battle.

Because it IS a battle. And it will continue to be a battle, even if you are winning it.

As long as you are battling, food cannot be your friend. And when you “battle” your weight, you are at war with yourself. I’d like to suggest a different way of approaching all this that will allow you to stop struggling, fighting against yourself, and feeling guilty and ineffective

There is no trust or ease or peace or relaxation.

A fight means that food potentially has power over you.

Battles take energy. Valuable energy. Even if you are winning.

As long as you are battling, food cannot be your friend.

And when you “battle” your weight, you are at war with yourself.

Clients have come to work with me because they are determined to win the battle. And I’ve always suggested a bigger and more rewarding challenge.

I call it peace with food.

Peace. Calm. Ease. No conflict. A relationship with food that works. That doesn’t drain your energy or your mood. That allows you to move forward and be your Best Self.

Peace with food is a relationship without tangles or desperation or deprivation. Food fuels your body. Food feeds your senses. You can taste and you can savor. And when you aren’t hungry, you can walk away.

Peace with food begins with the acknowledgement that your current relationship with food exists for a reason.

Be respectful and curious about how you are currently using food:

  • to cope?
  • to manage feelings (emotional eating)?
  • for comfort or to protect yourself?

With the right tools and support you can find alternatives that work better. You can stop fighting and start creating peace with food.

And then you can start thinking about what you will do with all that extra hope and energy.

Take good care,


2 thoughts on “Why you never win food and weight battles

  1. hey…just wanted to give an example of peace with food as I try (daily) to not use food to deal with life's tough stuff.  I just came through 2 weeks of intensive finals at grad school, and you would think at the end, I'd be happy and proud of myself, but as I stuffed down dark chocolate bar, starbucks gingerbread and twix, I realized I was subconsciously punishing myself for not doing as good of a job as I could have done (even tho I probably did a GREAT JOB).  I sat in the bathroom on the airplane, had a good cry, told myself I didn't do anything wrong and that I did my best and don't deserve punishment, and I swear to god I was able to throw away the remaining two twix bars without a second thought.  It's tough but the only thing that I have truly found to be effective when it comes to stopping moments of self-sabotage is replacing thoughts of I'm not good enough with doing a complete 180 and treating myself like royalty.  But it's tough…really tough

  2. Hi Kat-

    Thanks for sharing your struggle so openly. It IS so hard, and making that shift into honoring yourself makes such a huge difference. It's not something that gets talked about much and talking about it openly helps so many others.  It sounds like you had a really tough end to your term. I wish you a relaxing and rejuvenating break–full of royal treatment 🙂

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