How are you?
No, really. How. Are. You?
At this moment, so many people are living their unique version of overwhelm.
Isolation? Working from home? Trying to figure out childcare or remote learning? Feeling incredibly lonely or wondering when you’ll EVER have time alone again? Racism? Money fear and anxiety? Worry for loved ones you can’t see in person?
How are you? And are you possibly feeling like you don’t have the time or energy for one more thing?
I recently heard someone describe a fantastic opportunity she’d been offered. Her reaction? “That sounds awesome, but there’s too much right now. I can’t do anything else.”
Understandable.
Except, allow me to crack the door open to another possibility.
When we’re feeling OUT of bandwidth, when we have absolutely no more time or energy to give or spend, this is exactly when we need one more thing.
We desperately need compassion right now – and not only for those around us. You may be personally starving for compassion for how drained and depleted you are. Compassion for what you need and crave and hunger for.
In moments of overwhelm and stress and depletion, compassion can take energy. And so the temptation is to feed ourselves numbness instead.
Numbness is not compassion. It doesn’t replenish. It doesn’t restore or fix or nourish. But it may get us through a moment. Or two.
Numbing also leads to vicious cycles of more numbing or avoiding, feeling a little temporary relief, continuing to have no energy, and then needing another numbing fix to “get by.”
It won’t surprise you that a Hidden Hunger for compassion is one of the major causes of overeating right now. Mindless eating, eating on autopilot, and eating to numb are all signs of a Hidden Hunger for compassion which is caused by overwhelm, exhaustion, being too busy, perfectionism, and expectations you can’t meet.
So what’s the answer?
Start with a deep, compassionate breath. This IS hard, and you are trying. The reason you’re overeating (or numbing in some other way), is because you need some kindness and self-compassion.
What does a small, do-able step toward self-kindness look like for you?
Lowering your expectations?
Gifting yourself with an earlier bedtime?
Reaching out for help?
Committing to a daily walk alone?
Skipping a Zoom meeting or shutting off your phone?
Noticing when you want to numb and allowing yourself to feel instead?
Compassion allows you to take it slow, not get it perfect, and be kind to yourself along the way.
Be curious. What do you need today and what gift of kindness can you give yourself? Small steps count, and they will add up.
Talk soon,
A note about coaching:
Women often ask me when is the right time to commit to coaching. The answer is when you need it. If what you need most, is figuring out how to allow yourself the compassion and time and energy you need, that’s exactly where we’ll start. I guarantee this will open the door to more freedom and ease (and I don’t make promises lightly). I’ve opened up additional slots in my calendar for six and twelve-month private coaching clients. Go here to learn more. The first step is to fill out a short application to see if we are a fit, then we’ll schedule a time to talk about how I can help you reach your goals.
