On this week’s coaching club call, the focus was on all-or-nothing thinking and how it sabotages weight loss attempts (and everything else).
Feeling like we have to get something perfect in order to be successful sets us up for failure. The stakes are unrealistic—we are all human after all. When we set impossible standards, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the task before us. When the task is impossible, the tendency is to throw up our hands in exasperation and quit completely. After all, if we have to be perfect to succeed, and we can’t possibly get it perfect, why bother at all? That’s the all-or-nothing.
How many of us have started a weight loss or exercise plan, veered off course, and then decided we’ve already “blown it” so then fallen totally off the wagon? If all-or-nothing thinking doesn’t defeat us before we start, it will get us in the end.
On the group coaching call today, a fascinating thing happened as club members offered example after example of all-or-nothing thinking. As someone told her story, it became clear that we could hear the perfectionistic thinking much more easily than she could—even if she had just pointed out the same unhelpful pattern to somebody else. Others were also immediately aware of the toll perfectionistic thinking was having on the speaker and the tremendous accomplishments that were invalidated because someone had missed some arbitrary standard they had set for themselves. When we get stuck in this perfectionistic mind set we can accomplish 99% of our goal but only see the missing 1%. We rarely look at other people’s progress in the same way—does that tell us something about how hard we are being on ourselves?
Claiming our successes (instead of focusing on our mis-steps and failures) motivates us to continue forward. The support of others who can remind us when our perfectionistic inner critic has arrived on the scene is an incredibly helpful resource.
My challenge to you:
What success is your inner perfectionist preventing you from owning? Can you give yourself credit for what you have accomplished instead of focusing on what is still undone?
Take good care,
By the way, Holiday Health Club members agree that participating in this program has made them much more aware of the mindsets and thought patterns that sabotage their success. Major shifts are happening as members let go of defeating ways of thinking and make positive changes in their lives. The current coaching club will reopen to new members on January 1. You can find out more and reserve your place at http://www.weightlosswinnerscircle.com.