Just Do It: Mindset Self-sabotage | TMOHP Episode 059

This is the second in a series of episodes where I’m sharing five mindsets that might be keeping you stuck in cycles of overeating and emotional eating. The Just Do It mindset has mesmerized a lot of us. It feels so good to just jump in, take bold action, and tell yourself you’re taking the bull by the horns this time. And this is how a lot of women approach changing their eating habits or their weight. The problem is … well, there are a few problems. And they contribute to getting you stuck in a vicious cycle with food that can also lead to overwhelm, burnout, and a loss of confidence in yourself and in your ability to change.

Sounds like something worth exploring, right?

Be sure to check out the other episodes in this series exploring five mindsets - ways of setting your mind - that you might believe are helping you, but that usually are not.

In this episode:

  • Perspective and stepping outside yourself to recognize your mindset about changing your eating or losing weight
  • Why starting with action isn't effective
  • The Just Do It mindset and how it robs you of your power to making lasting changes in your relationship with food
  • How to step out of a mindset that isn’t working for you and that might even be causing you to do more overeating

[If you love this podcast, will you take 30 seconds to leave a review? It makes all the difference in my ability to share this information!]

Featured on the show:

  • Episode 58 All or Nothing: Mindset Self-sabotage
  • Find out where you most need nourishment and start targeting the real, underlying reason you overeat. Take The Hidden Hungers Quiz
  • Your Missing Peace  is my 16-week program for women ready to stop overeating and emotional eating for good. Enrollment is open and NOW is the perfect time to join us! Go here to learn more
  • Private Coaching. One-on-one coaching is for you if you’re looking for something that’s completely individualized and specific to your situation. Openings are limited. Learn more here.

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Full episode transcript:

Hey everybody. Welcome back. Today is the second part of a series in which I am covering mindsets that you may actually think of as success mindsets that are probably sabotaging your path to creating a better relationship with food that may be leading to overeating and contributing to emotional eating, and that probably make change much harder for you.

So this is the second episode. If you missed the previous, previous episode, you want to go back and catch up because I talk more about why this is something that is important to pay attention to. How to start to pay attention to it. And I covered the first of the five mindsets that I want to cover, which is the all or nothing mindset. And that is such an overarching place where people get stuck. People actually build a foundation on this faulty way of thinking. So be sure you go back and check out that episode. I will put the link in the show notes.

And today we will move onward and we'll cover the rest of those mindset. Before we do, let's talk about what mindset really is. This is a word that has been so overused lately. It feels like everybody is talking about mindset or teaching about mindset or coaching about mindset. I'm not sure that we really are clear on why this is important or what it really means. So let's go to the dictionary. The definition of mindset is it's a noun and it is a fixed attitude, disposition or mood, or an intention or an inclination.

A fixed attitude, disposition, or mood. Why is this important? See, so many times, so much of the time, we don't see our mindset as a separate thing. Just like we don't tend to take a step back and look at our thoughts and beliefs. We just think of them as the way things are, and sometimes we think of them as truth and as facts when they really aren't.

We very rarely, very few people separate themselves from their mindset. Our mindset is a fixed attitude, disposition, or mood, or an intention or an inclination. Our mindset colors everything. Our mindset shapes the energy with which we pursue something. Our mindset creates our attitude.

A very simplistic example that I always think about is, what is your mindset at the last mile of a really important race? Say you are running a marathon. Say you are at mile 25 of the 26.2 miles that you have to go. Your mind can take you in all sorts of places and the way the places that your mind takes you, your mindset, your attitude, your disposition, your mood, your intention, your inclination. That is going to flavor what happens next. So at mile 25, you can be thinking about quitting. You can be deciding all the reasons this doesn't matter. You can be focusing on how your legs hurt or how hungry you are, or how miserable you are, or how you don't want to be there. Or at mile 25, you can be focusing on how short the remaining distance is compared to what you've already done.

You can be telling yourself, what you can do for the next eight minutes or nine minutes, or 10 minutes, or however long it's going to take you to finish. Right? You can tell yourself, I can do this. You can break it into sections and say, I can run to that next tree. I can keep moving for another 30 seconds.

Your mindset, your attitude, your disposition, your mood impacts your results and it impacts how you feel on the way to your results. So we have thoughts and beliefs and then your mindset is a more fixed, approach to those things, right? It's a fixed attitude, disposition, or mood. So when we become aware of mindsets that we have that are not necessarily helpful to us. Can you see how empowering this is the potential for empowerment here? Because your mindset isn't you. Your mindset is an attitude that you have fixed in your mind, but it isn't fixed in terms of unchangeable. You can choose to create or to focus on or to build, nurture a different mindset. And that is why what I'm talking about today is so important.

Because so many smart, high achieving, very capable women are approaching the task of creating a relationship with food that works for them from mindsets that are actually moving them in the opposite direction. They're actually keeping you from creating a relationship with food that will work for you. So last time we talked about all or nothing, thinking. Again, if you haven't heard that episode, go back and listen to it. Today I want to cover some more mindsets with you.

Let's talk about the, just do it mindset. This one is so tempting because you're smart, you have a lot of ideas, you know how to take action, and you are motivated to see results. You're results oriented and you don't feel like you have a lot of time, or you feel impatient to get there. You see something that needs done and you do it. That's just the kind of person that you are, and it makes you feel effective to take action.

Sounds really good, doesn't it? The problem is that this is a mindset that can really get you into trouble. Just doing it. Jumping in with both feet without a clear blueprint or a roadmap. Just doing it can leave you lacking the foundation and the strategy, and sometimes the actual time and space that is absolutely necessary for you to be successful and for you to not be successful just in the short term, but to follow through.

Just do it mindset tells you that if you work hard enough, if you just do it, it will happen. Remember that myth, if you just work hard enough, if you just do it, if you just show up, it will happen. The problem is this approach doesn't work if your strategy isn't effective. If your path is misguided. If you haven't thought through what you really need to fit you. A plan that is going to work for you.

And that's where this mindset can take you sideways. I see so many women who work so hard in the wrong direction. And the kicker is that if you are stuck in this, just do it mindset and you're not getting where you want to go, and you believe that the answer lies in just working harder and harder. You get stuck in a vicious cycle, right? This is another mindset that can lead to overwhelm and overload and burnout. And a deterioration of your own belief and faith and confidence in yourself.

Success, especially for women who have a lot going on, but really for everybody. Success requires a plan and a solid foundation that you can work from. It requires acknowledging what you need. I know it sounds and feels so much sexier to just jump into just doing it right. Just do something. It feels so good to just do something and skip the whole planning and the foundation building.

That's part of what makes it so tempting. But breaking free of the just do it mindset. Doing it a different way, creating the foundation, creating a plan, thinking about what will work for you, thinking through the challenges. Breaking free of this mindset actually makes it easier. It frees up energy, it helps you eliminate unnecessary steps. It helps you eliminate busy work. It helps you get out of the simply working harder and harder and getting nowhere cycle.

When you break free of the just do it mindset you allow yourself to take a step back and really look, get perspective, look critically at the potential challenges. The hurdles that may be in front of you. You might find yourself looking at issues or feelings or things that have hung you up in the past. What are the reasons the last plan didn't work? What do you know about why you're overeating? Noticing patterns isn't unusual, but you don't notice patterns when you just jump in reflexively with the just do it mindset.

Breaking free of that just do it mindset- it allows you to really see what you need to be successful. What a plan needs to look like for you to be successful and to get to the root of anything that tends to trip you up.

When you are not blinded by the just do it mindset you can be realistic and actually proactive about things that may hold you back or potentially hold you back or have held you back in the past. And when you can do these things? Your power to create change, your power to create freedom from overeating, it increases exponentially.

Doing it differently, letting go of this fixed attitude about just do it right. It requires you to slow down and it requires you to take the time to allow yourself to be strategic. And that's something that might not be intuitive, especially if you have that just do it mindset going on, right? The just do it mindset wants you to keep moving. Keep moving, do something, do, do, do. The Just do it mindset values action.

But here's the deal action that isn't founded in a path to success. It will simply wear you out. It won't necessarily bring you any closer to where you want to go. Racing into a project won't get you to the finish line faster. In fact, it will probably result in you wasting time and your precious energy running in circles. And then blaming yourself for running in circles and for not getting where you want to go. Which is not the plan of attack that you have in mind when you, you know, harness that energy that you have and just tell yourself to just do it. Just doing it is not the most effective way to create peace with food or freedom from overeating or most anything else.

Taking the time up front is how you craft a plan and put a plan in place that allows you to stay fueled and energized and motivated and inspired. And those are the ingredients for creating a lasting way forward, a way of moving forward, a way of being with food that you want to maintain. Not that you have to maintain or that you struggle to maintain or that you wonder how long you can possibly control. The way out of the willpower cycle of having to be strong is taking the time on the front end and not jumping into this just do it mentality that has kept you going in circles in the past.

Here's another way to think about it. The just do it mindset is acting not thinking. Doing it differently, crafting a different mindset? It involves anticipating, anticipating the good and the bad and the uncomfortable situations that are going to come up. Not being re unrealistic, not jumping into just do it. And if I work hard enough, it'll be perfect, right? But doing it differently means taking the time up front to anticipate what will come up, what has gotten me stuck in the past, and then getting clarity on how you want to see yourself handling those things this time. Slowing down.

When you break out of the just do it mindset, you're going to be able to craft a vision. You're giving yourself the space to craft that vision. A vision that's doable. A vision that is flexible enough to adjust to that. A vision that can be nimble, right? With changing circumstances and resources and, and things. Well, wait a minute. A vision when you get out of the just do it mindset, you give yourself the ability to be nimble and create a vision that actually fits real life.

Because the just do it mindset does not take real life into account. It just tells you that you ought to be able to be strong enough to get through anything real life throws at you. With the just do it mindset it's, it's like you explode out of the gate with this energy and the plan is to use your, your determination and your force of will to just get you the results that you want.

The flip side of the just do it mindset is that it completely cuts you off from all the wisdom that you have collected with the entire journey that you have done with food and maybe overeating or binge eating or emotional eating or whatever has been going on so far. It cuts you off from that wisdom. And when you are cut off from that wisdom, you cannot craft a plan or an approach that takes what you have already experienced and learned into consideration.

So one of the most powerful things of exiting. Letting go of the just do it mindset is that you get to start creating a plan that includes the elements that you have found that you need based on what you have learned in the past. Based on maybe what hasn't worked well for you in the past. Or what did work kind of, and that now you can adjust, and that you can tweak, and that you can grow from. Moving beyond the just do it mindset allows you to use your wisdom, your smarts, and your amazing strategic brain instead of relying on willpower.

We're going to move through the remaining mindsets that I want to cover in future. But I know that again, the just do it mindset is always there in the back of our heads. And so one of the things that comes up right away is, Okay, okay, so what do I do? What do I do? How do I change my mindset? Right? I just want to do it. I just want to do it. I just want to do the just do it approach to changing my mindsets. It's just how we operate as human beings. We are hardwired to think in terms of taking action.

Instead, I want you to encourage you to take a breath. Let this sink in. Give yourself permission to start to tune in just a little bit more to your mindset. How am I thinking about this? What are the thoughts that I'm telling myself about what I need to do to change my eating. How I need to show up for myself today? What are the thoughts and beliefs that I have when I have a day that didn't go as planned?

And here is the power question that I want to leave you with today. Here is a question that you can play with that can start to unlock all sorts of things for you. You may have had a fixed attitude or disposition, a fixed mindset, an intention that you weren't even aware of, or an inclination in your thinking that has not been helpful to you. Maybe you have been jumping into the whole just do it mentality and you can see how it has been working against you.

So here's the question you can start to ask. How do I want to think about this? How do I want to think about this? You may come up blank at first. You may not be used to choosing your mindset. It may seem impossible. I want to encourage you to play with it, and we're going to keep talking about mindset because we've got some more to go through in future episodes.

How do I want to think about this? I'm not liking how this is working for me. How do I want to think about this? Or how would I like to try thinking about this? Or is it possible that I could approach this with a different attitude? Right? Remember that example of the last mile of the marathon. Is it possible that I could approach this with a different set of thoughts that I'm focusing on or with a different attitude?

Play with those things. See what comes up. And I will be back with more mindsets that we can pay attention to.

I'll talk to you soon.

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Your Missing Peace is the psychologist-designed program that provides the tools, the support, the coaching, and the confidence to create freedom from emotional eating and overeating. Finally - emotional eating help done right! Your Missing Peace is specifically designed for smart, high-achieving women who are DONE with diets, who want a lasting solution, and who are ready to take their power back from food, from overeating, and the scale. 

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