What Finally Clicked After Decades of Fixing Emotional Eating | TMOHP Episode 189

Melissa McCreery: So today on the podcast, I am really excited to have a conversation that I think is going to be really special for a number of different reasons. The first is that when it comes to overeating and emotional eating and changing your relationship with food, I think one of the universal feelings or experiences is we all feel so alone. Right?

. We feel like we are the only ones. The only ones who haven't figured it out by now, or the only ones who can't somehow like plug the pieces together to make it work. The other thing is that there is a huge difference between getting to a place where you know what you're doing with food doesn't work and you want to do it differently. And knowing what that means and how to do that.

And then I think that, I talk to a lot of women and I have been there where you feel like, you know. You know, okay, this is what it is and this is how we put these pieces together. You, I've got all the pieces, I've done all the work. And yet for some reason it isn't quite working or it's working, but it feels like it could be working better, but you don't know why.

So I was excited when Tina, who has, finished up, just finished up inside, my program Your Missing Peace, agreed to come on the podcast and talk about her experience and what it was like inside the program. And what it actually means these words that I talk about on the podcast around doing it differently and not using willpower.

And so I knew we could have such a valuable conversation and I really want to thank you for taking the time to be here.

Tina Anderson: It's my pleasure.

Melissa McCreery: this is not your first rodeo; you've been around the block with food?

Tina Anderson: Mm, all my life, yes. From age, probably about 12 or 13. And I'm in my sixties.

Happy to say that. Proudly happy. Not, not, you know, I, I love being my age, so I will say it's a very long time.

Melissa McCreery: There's a lot, I don't know about what your before was or what brought you to the program. What sparked your interest in it?

Tina Anderson: Yeah, thanks for asking. Well, I literally would say to myself, there's just something missing. I've been working at this for so long, and you know, the, the, the thing with an, with my experience, I'll speak from my experience and what I've learned, right? And what I know is that in the beginning, at such a young age, to have that shift and, and those pivotal moments when food becomes your source of comfort, and then later a source of pleasure and numbness for me to take myself out of being uncomfortable.

And also when the family dynamics are centered around being skinny and how much you can eat and deprivation of sweet treats. And I, you know, and you have to finish cleaning your plate. Which a lot of us that are older have dealt with this. And my parents didn't know any better, so I held no grudges. They did the best they could.

We'd all do right until we know better. But there is such a long period when, when you're older, like I am, because we didn't have the internet growing up and we didn't have research in Google and we didn't have chat like we have now. And so in the early days, and maybe this applies to you if, if you just sit by yourself and deal with this and don't research, but in the early days there was a long stretch there, Melissa, of not understanding what was happening.

And just using sheer willpower to get skinny in college so I could get the cute boys. You know, literally, and just buckling in and doing crazy, stupid things because your body can handle it better at that point. But that also pushed me into areas of bulimia because someone says you could throw up and your calories didn't count.

I didn't know any better. Okay, good. I didn't give it any thought. I didn't think of ramifications. I didn't put any bad nuances about around that, believe it or not. And so my upbringing had all of the ingredients that would create some sort of disordered eating. Then at the age I was and being in high school and college in the eighties and college starting in 1980, back then you really didn't know what it was you were dealing with.

And of course, I didn't tell anyone because it was to me, no one else was experiencing this, and it was just me not being able to control urges. And I, I just fought it. That's all I did is white knuckle and then fill in my life with other, other things around it. So my background includes this un this lack of awareness and understanding and controlling my body's shape with exercise and deprivation and calorie counting. And back then the big fat craze was big, right? Low fat, like no fat.

And just following trends and then gradually moving into books or, and podcasts and things where I could start to understand what's going on here and watching, observing, which I think a lot of us do. We observe the way other people eat. And we realize it looks like they're okay stopping with half their plate. It looks like they're okay with. Half their french fries left. It looks like they're actually engaged in a conversation.

I am thinking about food, what I can eat, what I can't eat. What's left. If there's dessert at home. If I can run home and eat. And all these, all these food thoughts that cloud your life. And they start literally the minute you get up.

And so I moved into all of that for a very long time until I could get some information. And I started to understand unmet needs. And I started to see this from a different perspective. But one thing that's, you know, in your program and, and you as an expert and because I listen to all your podcasts and then I'll, I'll, I'll get to, I promise quickly here, why I chose you is that you can have a knowledge and understanding, but it's not enough.

It's like an alcoholic knows they shouldn't be drinking if their life is falling apart. It's not enough to know better and then to even get a tool. Uh, you, you need so much more. In my case, in most cases, I think. And so fast forward to, I had done a lot of work on myself, like, you know, like you had mentioned. And I'd gone through spiritual awakening and transformation and I had discovered a lot of points in my life where there were triggers and shifts and things said to me that I understood, just completely took my brain and moved it into a different place.

And then I noticed. And I have this huge conditioned pattern. That is so automatic that I can't control or stop it. Even though I know better. And so I had gone through these waves of being able to get on a pretty healthy path. And every time, uh, Melissa, that I went into something helpful, I would chip away a little bit more at being truly grounded in my eating.

Now, I mean, it's a giant rock, right? If you can picture a giant boulder. I mean, I'm chipping away at the boulder each time to try to get this, to make it smaller. And I it was happening. But, you know, in the spiritual world, we always say, as soon as you are ready for the next layer it'll come off. And you'll have a new place in your life that needs transformation and it's a good thing.

And so at this, I, I wrote a book about my journey. That's why I'm, I'm willing to talk about it. I have a transformational process based on my chaos from the eating and all the disordered lifestyle that came from it. And so I had written the book and I was feeling pretty good. And then just the stuff just showed up again.

I recognize I'm not done. After all these years. I mean, I, I look healthy. I'm lean. I'm not over exercising. But I am going to food. Again. And I'm recognizing the fact that it's one thing to go to food. Like my husband will do that he doesn't feel guilty. He doesn't have any shame. He doesn't think about it.

I don't have shame and I wouldn't feel guilt, but I would think about, I would ruminate on, okay, what was going on and how can I stop it? And so I became a bit obsessive again. And I started, I thought, okay, I'm going to start listening to some podcasts and maybe if I listen to a podcast every day, I'll get the motivational words are new words, a new frame of reference, a new perspective. Because I am like ad nauseum, no pun intended over all this stuff.

And you were a guest on someone else's podcast, but I would always say to myself, I'm just missing something. There's something missing. I know this. I know I can get to the next level. And I know I need help. I, I know I'm not going to do this on my own, even though I've done everything and I'm very independent. And you talk about this a lot, those of us that are high achievers, we rely on ourselves.

We get everything done. We can get everything done. We can multitask. Give us a challenge, you know, except for the eating. Give us a challenge. Except for controlling our eating. Now we're good. Um, and that's the irony in it. And so you, uh, I started listening to your podcast and they were resonating. And I felt like you were literally just speaking to me one-on-one.

And I knew I wanted group support and I knew I wanted a licensed, you know, a higher-level psychologist. I wanted someone who. Uh, you know, had put the work in himself or herself. I mean, I'm not saying that to sound like someone else can't be helpful. But I just wanted to know that I was with someone who had studied and worked and researched and, and you know, had had a solid framework for this. Both from an analytical kind of scientific background and also from personal experience and with a lot of clients.

 And so I was going back and forth with a couple programs. And the other one was, uh, was no sugar, no flour, no processed foods. And you said one thing that really struck me, and this was the decision-making point for me.

You said, um, you, you didn't say this specifically, but you alluded to whatever you choose can you sustain it? Does it feel like a lifestyle for you? And everything else was still going into restriction, which is the diet mentality, which is what's been a trouble, trouble for me because I binge after restricting. Right?

And I feel like I, I just owe myself all that food. And you said something to the, to that fact, and I thought if I go into another program like that. Do I want to go to a birthday party five years from now and feel like I can't have a bite of someone's birthday cake? And I thought, no, that doesn't feel fun.

And maybe I won't want it, but I want the opportunity to know that I'm comfortable in my decisions. And food is neutral in the sense that I can have this amazing meal and love it and you know, and I always think of like the French and the Italians. Right? And, and enjoying their food. I have that choice. And it can be for joy and pleasure, and then I can be done and that includes a piece of cake.

And so that's when I decided, okay, I'm going to take this next step. And I'm, and I also would like to get some support.

Melissa McCreery: I think you said a lot of things that resonate with people. And, and it's so interesting, to that point you made about making decisions. I just feel so strongly about that. We have a relationship with food for our whole life and diet culture and the mentality behind that and, and a bunch of other things in our culture teaches us that somehow, we're supposed to just have our eyes on some prize.

And have this goal and focus on what do I need to do to get to the goal? Completely ignoring the fact that it's going to feel like when you get to your goal, it's going to feel like the process that you took to get there.

And you're still going to need food. And want food and like food, right? And enjoy cake. And either let yourself have it or not let yourself have it. So there's this underlying question that we have been taught to ignore, I think particularly as women, which is, what do you want your relationship with food to look like?

How do you, how do you want to feel with food? So tell me what has shifted for you with that?

Tina Anderson: The awareness of am I kind, am I mindlessly eating, and am I okay with that? So one thing that I got from the program was the okayness with my boundaries. And that there wasn't judgment on on oh, mindful eating. Yes, I do that at times. I don't, sometimes I sit down, do a TV show and I eat. I'm mindful of what I'm doing as long as I can be done and enjoy that little break. I'm okay. So it's an awareness of all the parameters that work for me. That's one.

And not making a judgment on, I'm not doing it right because I'm reading a book, or I'm working and taking bites and.

 And that's one thing I want to say that I, I think this works if you do the work. But I think we all want, I'm digressing, but I think we all want to know the knowledge and then the next day put it into place and the next day we're done.

Literally, you know, tell me what to do. I'll do it, and then I'm done. And just when you have layers of this stuff, right, figuring out what works for you. And so one thing with the program was just a feeling of it's okay to figure out on all the options, what works for you, and take judgment off. So I learned that.

I learned, uh, a lot about patience more than I thought I needed to. And trusting, trusting that I'm safe through the entire process, and that if I go into left field, I'm not stuck there.

And so if I a, after a while, if I would go into left field, I would just be like, oh, I'm in left field. Okay. I want to be, you know, at home plate or whatever. But I'm not stuck here. It doesn't mean that I'm not making progress. And so your Spiralocity completely switched, spiraling the term, spiraling into something positive and I always would visualize the spiral and just continuing, stopping, continuing.

And that was helpful because you used that, the term of it for Spiralocity, which I really appreciated. Staying curious, which I believe in from spiritual perspective on your life, but applying it to situations that I caught myself in. Wondering, okay, how did I get here? Uh, I just want to backtrack a little. And it's a teaching moment and that's what it is.

So I fully acceptance of that. With curiosity I think that keeps us positive and focused and, uh, not overwhelmed. The other thing I got from the program is that you've got to try a lot of different approaches. To see what starts to work for your lifestyle. And as you relax into it, you find new ones, things change.

But if you have a lot of different options, you can apply them in different situations. And I think that's helpful because you have, being at home, you have events, you have, you know, eating with others. For those of us who have eating disorder, that's a, that's a tough place to be going out to eat. Parties and things like that. It, it's a, can be, uh, really difficult.

Melissa McCreery: Because I, I think what you said there was, it's so important about, what we all want. We all want somebody to say, okay, tell me what to do. I'll do it. I'm done. Mm-hmm. And then it's really a process.

And that is something that's just a hill I will die on. The, the fact that Your Missing Peace is six months long is so important. And sometimes people look at the program and their brain does this thing like, oh, that mean that that means I have to wait six months until anything happens. Like I have to do this whole thing.

Because now to go back to that, tell me what to do, I'll do it and then I'll be done. It's like I have to do it for six months and then I'll get the results. But really what I hear you saying too is that the results unfold over time. But also it, I love what you just said because it's not Tell me what to do. I'll do it. I'm done.

It's getting your self-trust back. Try a bunch of things in a place where you get the help and support to, oh, this is working, or this is working a little bit, but it could work better. Or, yeah, this is working, but I hate it. I don't want to do, this is not, this is not my path. Is that, am I saying that in a way?

Tina Anderson: Yeah, absolutely. And what's important, and I, I, I recognized having the, the high achievers in there. And I, you know what? I, I have to say that at one point I thought, well wonder if I belong in here? Because I'm semi-retired and I don't have huge job issues. My kids are, you know, are grown. But and then I thought, but anything I do, I'm a high achiever.

So no, I'm a high achiever. No matter what it is I'm doing, I'm, I'm trying to get the garden fixed up or whatever. I'm a high achiever. Listen, I'm, it's going to be that. And you're, you're absolutely right. And so in looking at that, in our mindset, uh, I think having. A program that unfolds and allows you to wander in the garden.

I just use an analogy and figure out where you need to sit and focus. Is so important because when we're in the high achieving mindset, we're usually in an area that we know well. We're experts. And we know what comes next. And we can anticipate. And that feels safe in a way, right? For a lot of us.

And in, in this case, it's trusting that you will be asked questions to open, you open yourself up to discovery and understanding what you have yet to understand. Otherwise, we'd be there already. Right? I think one of the best gifts we can do for any, for each other at any time is to ask each other questions.

I think it's just something that people miss the boat on. I, oh my gosh, I love a conversation when someone asks a question in earnest and really is curious. And so in the program for me, having done so much work, having you on the other end call something out or ask a question where I have to go in, into an area that I haven't looked at from a, that perspective.

To me, that's just extremely valuable and important because we're, we get in our own way. And in doing so, you have to have time to process, you know, what that is and what your answer is. Or maybe it comes to you later. And, for a lot of us, the eating, you know, like you said, we have to eat. And so it's just such a bigger thing to deal with on your own and think that you can do it so quickly when it's something that we engage in and have to literally 16 hours of the day or eight hours, whatever, you know, however long you eat. And to not have someone say, hold on a second, you just said that. Because we're not going to catch it. And we're, our minds are going so much time.

Melissa McCreery: And you did, I mean, one of the things I will always remember about, you on the coaching calls is, is we'd be coaching and you'd say, oh.

I just heard myself say what I said. Or Wow I never, I just heard what you said, and I'm going to have to go think about that. I am going to have to let that sink in. Right. Because usually we just react, react, react. And, yeah. You were so thoughtful about how you did things in the program.

Tina Anderson: Well, your questions were really thoughtful and I think that's so, so important to have somebody indirectly, not your family member, but someone sit and listen in earnest. Truly listen and find and hear the clues and not just what you're saying, but your nuance, how you say it, how you look when you say it.

And that's one of your gifts is picking up on what's going on and reflecting back. And, you just can't sit in a mirror and do that with yourself. It's not possible. I wish it were, but, but it's not. And I appreciate you saying that. I was very ready to have someone call me out, or, and I mean that in a good way.

Just call out whatever it was I was missing. Mm-hmm. Because it, that's it. It's the missing piece. And part of it is simply having someone on the other end looking, hearing, listening, and thinking. Oh. This is what I'm getting from it. And then that mirroring back to me is just, like I said, I think it's just priceless, really.

Melissa McCreery: So let's talk about that. How do you relate to food now? What's changed?

Tina Anderson: Yeah, so the things that I recognize and how I relate to it now is. I see, uh, I'm in I work on, I call it food neutral. But that's just my term, right? That's my term, meaning that I still have joy around food. It's not that it's all blah. It's just that I'm not using it for what I would call my pleasure bubble.

And so now I have an awareness of when I'm starting to walk into the bubble. Or I got into it. Beautiful. Good, but I don't want to leave. Which would be over consumption.

Melissa McCreery: Can you give an example?

Tina Anderson: Yeah, exactly. So let's say that I, I, I created a really yummy meal for myself and it's kind of like avocado toast maybe with, you know, eggs.

And it's one of my favorite things. And I'm starting to get full and I'm enjoying it. And the pleasure is heightened and it feels good, right? And then I'm done. And I don't want to be done with the pleasure. So then I'm looking for a bite of something to sustain it. I'm, I'm clearly done eating. I'm clearly feeling the 80% full. Or, or if I ate too fast such I do sometimes, um, then it's, it's obvious, right? I'm done.

But what I'm aware of is what I call the pleasure bubble. That's, that's basically what I call it. It's, I call it the pleasure bubble and I try to identify myself splitting into the side of me that wants to stay in the pleasure bubble. And wants, because it feels safe just to be in that place of food and joy and pleasure. And the other part of me that, you know, looks at it, can step outside of it.

So that's where I'm at now. And I am enjoying food definitely a lot more.

Melissa McCreery: And that was big for you?

Tina Anderson: Yeah, yeah, definitely. Because for me, food was nutrient macronutrient. It's carbs, fats, proteins, it, it basically, it's just broken down into the substance, what it offers. And the pleasure part was only during overeating and you know,

Melissa McCreery: So it was good or it was bad.

Tina Anderson: Yeah. It was, was healthy or it was bad. Yeah, pretty much that was it there. Yeah, there wasn't any in between. And it, it was stressful. And I think I said once to it to you too in, in the group. I said, I actually realize at times that I, I am deciding what I want to eat for the first time. I'm deciding based on a lot of different things, instead of that has this many calories, this much protein.

Versus what does my body, what do I feel right now? What, what's, what am I wanting?

Melissa McCreery: What do I want?

Tina Anderson: Yeah. What do I want? What feels like a good meal? And I still eat healthy, so that's never been an issue for me. I, I'm lucky that I enjoy healthy foods anyway. But it was within framework of like encapsulation of this is what you need and should eat.

Melissa McCreery: There's so many women who, who the only time they allow themselves to think about what do I really want to eat? It comes under this rubric of I'm being bad, right? Or this is a cheat day. You just lit up. I remember you talking about like, I actually let myself think about what I wanted.

I've been eating stuff I want to eat. And it doesn't feel bad and it doesn't feel not good and it just, it feels like I'm in this relationship with food.

Tina Anderson: Yeah. And you know, it's so hard.

It's so hard to describe because none of my friends have this issue. And we'll have, actually that's not true. One other friend. But we'll ha have conversations and I'll try to explain. And it's so foreign for them.

It's so hard for them to imagine me going to a restaurant to order and having, being, um, traumatized by what I can order. And then how much of it I can eat and counting calories. It's just such a completely different mindset and place to be. And I, the more that I'm away from it, the more I realize the amount of time and energy and emotions being distraught. Wanna jump in a black hole and disappear all of that over put food it's, it's kind of mind boggling to be honest. When I think about all of it in the bigger picture. But when you're in it, you're in it. Like any other situation where you feel you're, you're powerless, you know?

And, uh, and I don't feel that way now. And I still indulge and I have over, I, I have times when I'm probably going a li I'm going overboard a little. Because I re afterward I'm like, oh, I'm way too full. You know? But if I go into a store and or a restaurant, I feel good about ordering something that might be, is high fat or something, and just enjoying enjoying it. And knowing that I can put half of it in a to-go box and enjoy it later.

And oh, that's another thing too. I never would leave food on my plate and so I started leaving little bits here and there. To get used to it because that was like a sin in our house. Right. You never leave food for so I, I'm able to do that.

I try to not take too much because I don't like wasting food, but, but that's a new thing too. And it's just crazy I, you know, you go to lunch or dinner with someone with a friend and they leave a bunch of food on their plate and you just stare at it like. How can you do that?

How are you leaving? You're doing it. Yeah. And you're doing it, but I'm doing it. And the more that you do it, and that's the thing I've learned from this too. So I, you know, I, I do want to say this is I important, if someone's listening, you're considering the program, you know, go into wholeheartedly with an open heart and mind and trust and be ready to do the work. And trust that as it unfolds, it unfolds in ways that you won't understand right away.

But it starts to gradually soak in. And you don't get sometimes immediate answers. You get little shifts sometimes of understanding, but then you are in charge of moving into that. Right. And that's what I found that the weeks when I got sort of like, oh, and I said this before, oh, I'm good. I think I got it.

And I got overconfident, and this has been a very long time of what I've been doing prior. And so to think that I could have a conversation and be in group and then I don't need to do anything. And that, that's when I would get caught with, oh, okay, I need to go back. I need to study my notes. But I do think it's important that you go in with if I'm in this program, I, I really want to change. I really want to know full joy and happiness.

Melissa McCreery: Ooh, that one's so good. You don't have to know how to do it. And I, I think what you're really articulating is part of the process is not getting it.

A part of the process of change is going into our, we all do this. We go into our old patterns. Or life happens and we go down the road that we always go down when that thing happens and having a space where you have time to learn. Oh, okay, this is how I pull myself back, or this is what the pattern is and this is how I do it differently.

I'm curious, Tina, because you have done lots of things. You have done lots of inner work. Was there anything that surprised you about the program?

Tina Anderson: I knew I would feel good being in a group. But I really got, uh, a jolt of, I felt love and energy and compassion from being in a group.

I got an extra something that had that, that kind of, I was able to take on in general, not just about food. Just the compassion and love and understanding of the other women in the group that lifted me up more than I anticipated. I just thought, I would feel like, oh, I'm seen and heard, and I know a lot of people have this issue.

But so that was one is there's an extra layer of support that I think pushes you into the next week. Just in general with just this energy of knowing that there are people there that are listening to you and genuinely want you to reach the level that you're trying to reach. Like genuinely are not or are not, you know, are just feeling that way because that's what you get.

So that was one that surprised me. The second thing, all the journaling that I do and have done, right? I was surprised at times when the way that the question was presented brought out a different perspective on something that I thought I had figured out. And the big one for me was I wrote something about, I just want to, I wanted to feel safe.

Like, wait, I've never written that in all my years of journaling. All the, all this work, right? All the meditations, all the journaling. And I had not once figured out that feeling safe was a key ingredient in the beginning stages. And that felt like a big opening of understanding.

Helping me to navigate as I looked into food. Because I never, ever, ever, ever would've thought that I would describe it that way. To me, it was numbing out. I'm bored, I'm frustrated. Uh, that was it. And I hadn't gone deeper. So it's the journaling through the workbook that I found uncovered new understandings, understandings, and layers.

I, like you said, I've done a lot of work, so I was still finding things out about myself and about my journey with it. And then I was surprised at times that I had to really sit for a little bit to find a response or an answer. Okay. That's not readily there. So where is it? Is it hidden? Am I scared of it? What am I not tapping into? Why is it not coming up?

So there were times with the journaling and even with the questions that, yeah, that's not at surface, that's somewhere else. And that needs to come up. And I will say that I had to trust that when things came up, it might want, I might want to eat.

Because I didn't want to deal with it. But this step has to come up so I can sit with it and I can recalibrate it. And I like to say, I always say recycle for the greater good. My greater good, everyone else's. Right? And so there were quite a few times when I was, oh, I had that look like, well that's interesting.

So yeah, that those were, I would say there might be more that would come to me, but I would say that those are the main ones that I kind of had to stop and ponder. I didn't quite expect. I thought, you know, I'm going to learn a couple tools, I'm going to be supported. And I'm sure that she'll have great questions during the coaching calls, which I'll, I'll love that.

Ah, you know, and I think there'll be the, it was kind of nonchalant. Like that last piece will show up and then this was a deep dive again. And that's, that was surprising in all that I uncovered.

Melissa McCreery: Okay. So, I can imagine somebody listening to this and feeling like, wow, she got, she got this experience that she wanted.

But also, I can imagine somebody listening and thinking, wow, she got this experience that she wanted, but I don't know what would that look like for me? Like maybe it wouldn't, like would the, I don't, I have different thoughts or different issues or different, right. That mm-hmm. And, and. This is, this is an investment of time.

It's an investment of hope. It's an investment of money. It's an investment of just belief that things can be different. it's big to say, I'm going to try something else. When you've tried and tried and tried and tried. What would you say to somebody who's thinking, but what about me?

Tina Anderson: Yeah, I, I totally get that. I mean, there's just so much I would want to say. first of all, however you get there, you've got to start. If you're not, if you have been trying something and you're not making progress. Right? Then you have to do something. And I'm telling you; this is not the way to live your life. And the bigger picture is not about being in a smaller body if that's what you want.

Because I know that's what, what directed me. And I'll be honest; I was never in a huge body. I don't know what that feels like. I know what it's like to be 20 pounds overweight. And so I am, I cannot say to you if you're way over that, what that feels like. I, I would never try to do that. But I can tell you that the feelings of wanting to disappear and just feeling like I, I don't want to leave my room or I want anyone to see me. All those things, I, I've been there, so I do understand how deep and dark it can be.

And I know what it's like to eat a carton of ice cream in one evening. And I know what it's like to dig through the trash and purge. I know a lot of really stuff. I know a lot of stuff about that. So I've been, I just want to preface this by saying I've been in the very dark places as well. I really have. so secondly, I would say that you have to make a decision to do something and being in a group situation is a great way to start.

Maybe you need privates with it. But if you start in a, in a group, and if you can be vulnerable and open, you'll stop holding on to so much shame. Which is the lowest vibration you can be as a human being, and nothing happens in shame. It's an energy from which you cannot get things done.

So getting it out and talking to someone, I would say no matter where you are on your journey, it would be a beautiful starting point or a continuation. But you got to do something. And you need got to start. I really love that you got to start. And you need an expert. And I believe, I mean they have shown studies over many years on community and groups. And how people heal and how their lives change from community and group support, not solo.

The transformations come so much better with a communal effort. Right. And being in a community, it makes such a huge difference. Even if it's once a week or once every other week or whatever it is, it does make a difference.

So I would say to you that you know, you got to go deep. You got to say, I deserve to get some help. I deserve to take the next step. And I deserve to trust an expert and throw myself into this. And I'm ready to dive in and I'm courageous enough to see what will show up. And I'm also courageous to know that I'm not going to be a hundred pounds less or whatever in, you know, three months.

That once I get my relationship with food the way that it's meant to be. The rest of my life will fit in so much better because food is nonstop. And when that is out of whack, everything is out of whack. Everything. It's like if, if air were an issue, right? Then everything's out of whack because food is what we need to sustain ourselves.

So. It is everything. And if you've been saying, I need to do it, but I'm not sure this will work. And then the starting point, um, I would say give it a try. Six months to change your life, to get it into gear when it changes and aligns your life in the way that you want. Oh my gosh. I can't, I don't even know how to say it anymore.

That I'm just pleading with you to do something If you're listening because just start and start with start with a group where you're surrounded. Even if it's another person on the other end, you know that energy is shared, that it's amplified the love, the, the compassion, the understanding is, is sent out to you and you get to take that. Right away. And so I think the group situation is by far the best.

And I have done psychotherapy on my own. Right. I've done that as well. Mm-hmm. And so I'm, I saw that. I didn't try that. Because I did. I went to that first. So I don't know how to plead with you more, but start somewhere. And this is a great place to start because you will have so many tools. But I'm also saying to you, if you're going to start and do it, then do it.

You know, if you're going to use willpower, don't use it on the food, use it on the program. Right? Like, I'm going to get this done. I mean, let's use willpower in the right place. Like to transform your life. Not, I can't have the brownie or whatever, right?

So you only have so much energy, right? So yeah, so I, I, that's what I would say and I really want those of you listening to understand that no matter what the weight issue is, because most of us go there because of that. But some, it's just emotional eating, whatever it is. I've been very, very, I've been in very dark places. Very dark, dark places about myself. And, and I did try to do a lot of it on my own and I made some progress. But the missing piece was, I needed one more thing. And it might be your thing just to get started.

And change your life, right? Give the rest of your life to be joyful and enjoy your meals. And oh my gosh, so much better.

Melissa McCreery: Do you see the energy that Tina has? This is, this is why I was like, oh my gosh, Tina's going to come and talk about her experience. Okay, so one last question for you.

What would an old version of you be most surprised about the version that you are today?

Tina Anderson: Mm, boy. Okay. Let me go back into that old version. Away. Away. A while back. Whew. Not that I really want to, but an old version.

Melissa McCreery: Yeah. What, what are you, what are you doing or thinking or not doing or not thinking that you never would've believed?

Tina Anderson: Yeah. I wouldn't, I, I would not have believed the, I'm very independent and I'm a true Aquarius freedom girl, right? Like kind of hippie, whatever. Like I want to like, you know, peace, love flowers. That's kind of me. And I never would've I, I would not have comprehended comprehended, yeah, the essence of freedom that I didn't have. And that I feel now there is a, a sense of being free that I didn't comprehend. And I couldn't, I couldn't comprehend, I couldn't imagine what it would feel like.

Melissa McCreery: And that's freedom of food and eating?

Tina Anderson: Freedom in my life. Yeah. Okay. Just like I just feel I get up and I feel free to manifest my day, to do my day, to put food in where I need to. To decide, oh, maybe I'll do intermittent fasting for like three or four days because I did have a lot of that. That let me tell, let me ask my body. Uh, maybe not, you know.

Just freedom to move and groove. Be connected to my body in a way where I'm just not in food prison and I'm not thinking about food. I never imagined how freeing that actually would feel. Like, how different it feels to, to wake up that way. It's, I, I knew it would feel better, but I can't put into words how much better it feels.

Melissa McCreery: I think you just did. Yeah, maybe I did. Yeah, it's, I think you just did.

Tina Anderson: It's liberating. Maybe that's what the liberation of that prison.

Melissa McCreery: Tina, thank you. This has been a gift. Oh, my pleasure. This has been a gift and I, you've put some things into words that are so valuable. but I think that mic drop right there was kind of. That was it.

Tina Anderson: Well, it's got to be at least one.

Melissa McCreery: Okay. Consider the mic dropped. Okay, got it. Okay, I hope. I hope you all enjoyed this episode and I will talk to you soon.