You may be tough, independent, and hard-working, but here’s the truth. You could probably benefit from an extra serving of self-compassion and the self-care that tends to accompany it. Research suggests that for better emotional well-being and less emotional eating, you’d do well to treat yourself with less self-judgment and more self-compassion, kindness, and self-care.
Research is confirming that treating yourself with self-compassion (as opposed to loading on the guilt and self-blame) is linked to:
- Increased happiness
- Social connectedness
- Less anxiety
- Less depression
- Less tendency to dwell on things
- Less fear of failure
Researchers are also exploring the emerging evidence that increasing self-compassion lowers the tendency for emotional eating and bingeing.
Increasing self-compassion and self-care is a fundamental piece of my coaching and programs. Making the shift from self-blame and frustration with one’s self to self-compassion creates changes that are profound, and I believe, enduring. While some approach the idea of self-compassion with fear (“If I’m too easy on myself, I’ll never get anywhere.”), the reality is, that those with high levels of self-compassion actually take more responsibility for problems. It’s simply easier to take charge when we aren’t bogged down with guilt and when we can do it in a way that is still kind to ourselves.
Want to start growing your self-compassion? Psychologist Kristin Neff has identified three key components that you can start implementing.
- Be understanding with yourself rather than dishing out the negative self-judgment. Take a close look at your inner conversations with yourself. As I’ve written before, ask yourself whether you’d talk to your mother or your best friend the way you talk to YOU. Start revamping your inner dialogue with kindness and support.
- Let go of perfection and unrealistic expectations that only get applied to you. Realize that you are human and that part of the human experience is imperfection, and at times, suffering. Instead of feeling “why me,” roll with it with compassion and respect.
- Be mindful. Find ways to stay present and connected with your feelings and your experience. You have to be aware of the hard stuff in order to address it with compassion.
Resources for self-compassion and better self-care:
The Success Soundtrack™: add more ease, flow, me-time, and success in just ten minutes a day
The Put Yourself First 7 Day Blast-off
Take good care,