Small Steps That Beget Magical Results | TMOHP Episode 107

I’ve been wanting to share some magic with you - magic that’s happening inside my online program for creating freedom from overeating. The program is called Your Missing Peace and I feel so lucky to be able to work with this group of amazing women for six months at a time. While I’m there coaching and helping members through the process, I get to also witness changes happening that sometimes feel almost like magic. 

Overeating and emotional eating are issues that can be complex, but changing these habits doesn’t have to be as complicated as our minds often make it.

In this episode I want to share with you some ways to NOT overcomplicate the process of changing your overeating habits. I’m also sharing some simple things that have been happening inside the program that have been leading to some amazing, almost magical feeling transformations - as well as a ritual that you can use to create more transformation for yourself.

In this episode:

  • Small steps that give you amazing results
  • The amazing results that imperfection releases
  • The importance of decision
  • The magic of support and community
  • Real-life examples

Enjoy!

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Full episode transcript:

Hey, everybody, welcome back to the podcast. I have a question for you. Do you ever wish that you could just absolutely literally share an experience with somebody? I mean, not tell the story of it, but really somehow, you know, plug something into someone else's brain so they could experience the experience, too?

That's something I have been thinking a lot about lately. So, let me give you some background. Many of you know that I have a program, which is called Your Missing Peace, where I work with a small group of women around, what it takes to create freedom from overeating.

So we tackle the emotional eating challenges and the overeating challenges. The program's really comprehensive, right? There's training that you can complete in a self-guided way. There are videos, there are guided visualizations. There are all sorts of strategies and cheat sheets and ways that I teach of dealing with mindset conundrums. And, actual strategies for dealing with food without getting into deprivation thinking. And, figuring out what works for you and putting it all together in a lasting way.

There's, there's all this training piece of it. And then, as part of the program, actually, I think it's like the secret sauce, we have these coaching meetings. Three times a month our group gets on zoom and people are free to ask for what they need.

So they'll ask a question or they'll say that, you know, I'm trying to put this piece into place in my life and I'm, I'm stuck with this. I don't, I don't know how to how to make it work for me. Or I'm feeling overwhelmed. Or it was going so well, and then I fell off track. Or I'm having a hard, I'm having a crisis of confidence. Right? I'm having a hard time believing can I really do this? Or can this really last my whole history of diet thinking and diet mentality and that whole deprivation approach just keeps washing over me.

Whatever it is, people bring these to the three times a month coaching groups. And I get to coach these amazing women around, around and through these issues. And I have to tell you that these coaching zooms are like some of my favorite times of the week.

I feel so lucky that I get to hit a button and be on zoom with a group of amazing women from all over the world. All over the world. And get to watch what happens when people come together and experience sometimes for the first time that they are not alone. That they are not the only smart, amazing person who feels like they can't break this cycle. Or who has been trying to change these habits and keeps coming up against the same things. Or has the same question, this is a big one, has the same question or the same issue that this voice in their head has been telling them, Oh, you know, it's so silly, or you should have fixed this by now, or you should have had this all figured out.

And that moment when they realize it's not just me, it's not just me, there's not something wrong with me. There's a reason I have gotten tangled up in this pattern. And oh, by the way, it's fixable. And here's, I'm seeing other people who are changing this, who are transforming this. I got to tell you, it is just an amazing thing.

So why am I talking about this on the podcast? I'm talking about on the podcast because what happens on these zooms, these coaching zooms as a part of the Your Missing Peace program is so magical. And we talk about these things. Sometimes they're really tiny things, but we talk about these topics and these challenges and these stuck places.

And it becomes really clear that so many of these are almost universal. And they are things that don't get talked about. And by putting a light on them, shining a light on them and watching, experiencing either yourself being coached through them or experiencing someone else getting help with them, so much transformation happens.

And so often when I wind up one of these coaching meetups. I find myself wishing, Oh man, I wish, I wish we could have recorded this as a podcast episode. Or I want to get everybody on, another zoom and let's record this topic. Let's talk about this for a podcast episode.

And of course that's not going to happen. That wouldn't be appropriate because part of the magic of these magical coaching meetings that we have inside Your Missing Peace is that they are private. And that they are safe. It's a safe space. Right? To talk about this stuff that feels very vulnerable. So we're not going to record a coaching zoom and make it into a podcast episode. But what we talk about in there is so juicy.

And after the coaching meeting that we had this week, I realized that there was something that was happening that I absolutely wanted to share with you all. Because I want you to be able to take advantage of it too.

One of the things that was so clear in our last coaching meeting, and actually, you know, some before that is how much we get in our own way by over complicating things. You won't be surprised that one of the big topics that comes up inside coaching in the coaching that I do with my clients is feeling overwhelmed. Not knowing where to start. Feeling like there are too many things that need to change at once. Or feeling like you know exactly what it is that you need to change, but you don't have the energy or the time or the bandwidth to do it.

And so not even getting started because it doesn't feel like anything you do will make a difference. And so one of the things that we have really been focusing on, and I think we always focus on inside Your Missing Peace is how to not overcomplicate. How to get through the tangles in our brain that tell us it has to be hard. And I love coaching people on how to keep it simple.

And I want to share with you some simple things that have been happening inside Your Missing Peace that have been leading to some amazing, almost magical feeling transformations. All right?

I'm thinking of a couple of members in my program who have recently decided, decided is a key word here, they've made decisions to take a simple, consistent action step. And they've I want to tell you that the decision they made to take a simple, consistent action step was far simpler than the convoluted, complicated formula that they had in their brain of what they, I'm putting this in air quotes, should be doing. Right?

And I'm pretty sure if they were here on the podcast and I was asking them about it, I'm pretty sure that if I asked them. Did you think this simple decision to take these simple steps, actually a simple step, did you think this decision would have the impact that it has had? I'm fairly certain they would say they have been astounded.

Our brains love to complicate things. Our brains love drama. Our brains love huge, complex, mapped out plans that require a lot of work and energy and changing everything. And complicated, overarching life overhaul plans are not the key to making long term permanent changes. So, I'm thinking of a couple of people in the program who made a decision to do something simple and the decisions they made were different. Right?

So what am I talking about? I'm talking about somebody who made a decision that she was going to use our private community to check in daily. She was just going to check in she was going to every single day check in. Could be simple Sometimes it was. Sometimes it was ah, this is a hard day or today I'm doing this or today this is the thought that I'm focusing on. Right?

Another member of Your Missing Peace decided for a week not forever for a week that she was going to listen to a guided visualization daily. She's got access to these guided visualizations that are a part of the program. She was going to listen to one every day and she was going to check in and say that she did it.

Another member of the program decided, keep coming back to that word because it's a decision. Right? She decided that she was just going to decide what she was working on every day and share it again in the, in the community, the Your Missing Peace community she was going to share it. She was going to decide what she was working on or what she was going to do that day, what her focus was. And she was going to share it. That's it.

You all, let me tell you, the results of these experiments have been breathtaking to watch. A decision to take a simple action. And, you know, for, for all three of these women, they also made a decision to report in on it. To have some accountability around it in a safe, supportive, private community. Right?

Here's what happened. Well, here's just some of what happened. It wasn't perfect. Every single person who said, okay, here's what I'm going to do. It didn't, it didn't unfold perfectly. Nobody got it perfect. And everybody kept going. All three of them.

There were days that people forgot to check in when they said they were going to check in. There were days when somebody said, I'm going to focus on staying in my power, or I'm not going to eat this evening. I've decided I want to, the kitchen is closed at a certain time. And it didn't work out the way they thought. The kitchen didn't stay closed or they ate more than they wanted to, or their plan went sideways.

And they kept going. Partly because they had made a decision to continue to keep going. They had made a decision to continue to post. I'm going to post every day this week. I'm going to listen to this guided visualization, one of these guided visualizations every day, this week. I'm going to share what I'm working on every day this week. That was the experiment, not I'm going to get it perfect.

Here's the second thing that happened. When it didn't go perfectly, there was this amazing conversation about why that was. And what they were going to do next. And it was a conversation. Because when they shared how something went, other people shared, Oh man, that's happened to me too. Or, you know, here's what I did or like there was a conversation. It was normalized. Everybody was reminded that you don't have to have it perfect. You don't have to get it perfect in order to keep going.

The other thing that happened is that after they decided and started sharing their daily results and their daily actions and their daily reactions to their actions. Other people in the community jumped in. It became easier for other people to decide. And other people started deciding things and sharing things and the conversation around what are we, what are we working on today got bigger and more vibrant and more supportive. People who maybe had felt a little frozen or a little procrastinating, a little, a little stuck or a little scared to take the next step, started deciding on their next steps. Right?

And then there were the wins. Because, you know, where the biggest wins happen, they don't happen when you're being really rigid and uptight and trying really hard to do something and thinking, how long can I, how long can I do this? How long can I get it perfect? How long can I have my perfect streak of saying what it is I'm going to do and doing it perfectly?

The wins started coming more and more and more as people started feeling more able to show up imperfectly. To say, you know what my plan was to do this, here's what it ended up really looking like. And you know what? I'm okay with that. And, oh my gosh, this is so great. Like it didn't go perfectly, but I'm also going to claim some wins. Do you know how different that is from the all or nothing thinking of, I said, I was going to eat this, but instead I ate this. Or I said, I was only going to have one, but instead I had four and now it's all ruined and I have to start over. You know, that old deprivation thinking?

What is happening inside Your Missing Peace is people are having absolutely human imperfect experiences. And they are seeing the good in them. Okay. This didn't go so well, but this did. And I'm proud of myself for that. And underlying all of that, which I am just so thrilled about is this conversation about, and I'm going to keep going. I am keeping going. Yesterday wasn't so great, but I'm here for it today.

That is a huge piece of why I'm talking about this today in this podcast episode. Because that, the keeping going, the, the I'm still in it, I'm still marching forward. It doesn't have to be perfect for me to get to my goal. By the way, it's not going to be perfect. And I don't think anybody wants a relationship with food that has to be perfect. By the way, what is perfect, right?

You're going to have ups. You're going to have downs. You're going to have days when you eat more, you're going to have days when you eat less. What you want is it for it to even out in a way that feels good and feeds you and gives you the life that you want. Imperfection is blossoming inside Your Missing Peace. And the imperfection and learning how to accept your imperfection and learning how to not be endlessly starting over has eliminated so much stress. .So much overwhelm, so much throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

And because of this, as a result of this, the other changes are happening. The, I had just one. Oh my goodness. For the first time ever in my life, I was able to eat one peanut butter cup and actually with a cashew butter cup, I was able to eat one cashew butter cup and savor it. And enjoy it. And I felt satisfied and done at the end.

Oh my gosh, for the first time ever I went on vacation and didn't eat junk. I'd made a decision at the beginning. I wasn't going to eat junk. I checked in along the way. Oh my gosh. This is, as this person said, this is something I never could have even imagined doing six months ago. And I just did it.

Another example. Oh man, I didn't get any sleep last night. I, I know what days are like when I don't sleep well. I know I'm vulnerable to impulse eating. I know what happens. And this time I did what I committed to. And guess what, it went differently. It worked out. I took the time for myself. The lunch I packed worked out. Acknowledging where I am, how I'm feeling, keeping to my goals and keeping my goals at an attainable level worked out.

People are amazing themselves. People inside Your Missing Peace are amazing themselves by keeping it simple. By making a decision. By showing up in the community, but by showing up in the community for themselves. It is magical.

Can you have some of this too? If you're having that, I want what she's having moment? Of course you can. That's why I'm talking about this. Of course, if what you want to do is join Your Missing Peace, I would love to see you there. That goes without saying, I will put the link in the show notes or you can go to TooMuchOnHerPlate.com and you will find all the information there. There's a whole page about it and enrollment is open. You can get started right away and join us on our next coaching call.

And if this is not for you right now, or if this is not your time, you can use these principles as well. Decide. Keep it simple. There's actually a very simple visual that I use. You can, you can make it a ritual because by simple, I mean really simple.

It is so critical to stop the cycle, break the cycle of I got to start over again. I've lost it all. I'm back at the beginning. That's not true. You have everything you've already learned inside of you, and it is valuable. Keep it simple.

Here's the ritual. Ready? Take a deep breath. Look at your feet. Decide which one you are going to pick up and then decide where you are going to step next. It's a metaphor. And it can be that simple. Reduce what is required of you to one simple thing. What is the next step I am going to take? What is the next thing I am going to focus on? What kind of accountability will you take or will you provide yourself to keep yourself going? And then make the decision to do it.

You've got this.


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Your Missing Peace is the psychologist-designed program that provides the tools, the support, the coaching, and the confidence to create freedom from emotional eating and overeating. Finally - emotional eating help done right! Your Missing Peace is specifically designed for smart, high-achieving women who are DONE with diets, who want a lasting solution, and who are ready to take their power back from food, from overeating, and the scale. 

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