Self-compassion isn’t cotton candy. By that I mean it’s not a flashy, insubstantial choice that looks good at the moment but leaves you feeling sticky and with a sugar crash.
Self-compassion is a strength, and it’s your power tool against mindless eating, emotional eating, bingeing, or any choice that’s not a good or helpful one for you.
Self-compassion is strength, respect, and heartfelt understanding. When you nurture your spirit of self-compassion, her voice becomes the coach inside your head who will gently, firmly, and persistently guide you where you most want and deserve to go. Self-compassion is what you use to fulfill your dreams for yourself.
She believes in you – and reminds you of what you’re capable of when you don’t believe it. She whispers, “You can do this.”
She holds your goals and desires as valuable and important and reminds you why you need to do the hard thing. Self-compassion whispers, “This is important to you. You deserve to succeed at this.”
Self-compassion talks to you with love and firmness and speaks in the voice you use with those that you love the most.
When you avoid what you need, when you waver or hesitate to take the action you promised yourself, or when you’re not giving yourself what you deserve – because sometimes it’s hard or scary or uncomfortable – self-compassion is firm and kind. She’s not cruel or disrespectful, but sometimes she’s a taskmaster who holds you accountable to you. Because you are important. She says, “You said you’d do this because it’s important to you. You’d do it for anyone else. You can get through this tough spot. I’m holding you to this commitment because it’s important for your future self. Take a deep breath and let’s go.”
She doesn’t leave you alone to struggle. Self-compassion is tough and patient and kind.
When you falter or have a bad day, self-compassion talks you off the wall of perfectionism (that leads to being too hard on yourself, and more overeating). She’ll ask you, “What can you learn from this?” and transform your not-so-good-day into an experience that will lead to more success in the future.
When you lose hope, she encourages you and cheers for you.
When you’re tired, she respects your need for rest and helps you honor it.
When you lose momentum, she guides you to see your progress, teaches you new ways of rewarding yourself (instead of chocolate) and helps you remember that you are so much more than a number on the scale.
Self-compassion is reasonable. She challenges your unrealistic expectations for yourself. She sees the value of do-able steps when you discredit them. She helps you stack small successes into towers that reach to your desires.
Self-compassion manages the distance between where you are now, and your goal of freedom from overeating and peace with food. She walks with you as you move forward one step at a time. And she whispers encouragement in your ear.
Your inner voice is so powerful. When you cultivate and lean into self-compassion, she becomes your inner coach. Listen closely. What is she recommending for you today?
Talk soon,
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