She was the first one whose camera connected on the weekly Zoom call I have with a few colleagues. As her camera came on, we smiled (kind of) at each other, and then – like clockwork – we both sighed.
“How are you?”
I’ve talked with so many women lately who say they feel off and they aren’t sure why.
It’s a hard, strange time in the world.
An exhausting time. An unclear time.
Decision fatigue is a big part of it, at least for me.
So many things that once felt straightforward now involve a decision tree of thoughts to consider and choices to make – and this new variant is scaring me.
Over the years, I’ve learned that when I feel paralyzed by a decision, telling myself I don’t know what to do, and feeling unable to move forward, it’s almost always because I’m thinking that:
There’s one right answer. And it’s my job to find it.
The pressure of figuring out what that one right thing is can stop me up in my tracks – or send me down a rabbit hole of endless researching and hypothetical questions and worrying about “getting it wrong.”
When I switch the question from “what’s the right answer?” (where it seems like the one, correct answer is floating around outside of me) to “given the circumstances, what feels right to me today?” (which requires me to check in with myself) I can often start to feel my way forward. I may not see the whole path, but I can usually see a next step that feels like one to take (not THE step, but A step).
Do I disregard facts or ignore current circumstances? Of course not. But I do run the information that I have through the filter of my inner wisdom.
My today answer? Wear a mask. Social distance. Plan for that booster. Be protective of the kids.
That small shift in the question reminds me of the control I have – the ability to choose.
This same decision fatigue trap – and the problem with believing that there is a right answer outside of you – are issues for SO many women when they begin working with me in Your Missing Peace. When you decide to tackle overeating and emotional eating it can be hard to make a move over the roar of information and “shoulds” and rules you’ve collected in your brain.
These are other peoples’ to-do lists.
Following them blindly leads to falling off track, unwarranted self-blame and guilt (for failing at a plan that never fit you in the first place), and eventually a loss of confidence in your ability to succeed with this goal.
You’ve lived inside your body your whole life. Only you can have the final say in the steps that are going to create freedom from overeating for you.
Connecting with your own inner wisdom is a process. In Your Missing Peace you’ll learn important strategies for learning to check in with yourself, learning to make promises to yourself that you can (and want to) keep, and ultimately, learning to trust yourself again. Because lasting change happens when you know how to keep choosing the steps that solve the overeating puzzle for you.
If you’re feeling decision fatigue with food and overeating and making changes, when’s the last time you asked:
Given the circumstances, what feels right to me?
It might just blow your mind.
It can definitely provide you your next step.