This Could Reduce Your Emotional Eating by Fifty Percent (or more) | TMOHP Episode 089

Did you know that your thinking can motivate you to overeat? In fact, there is one mindset or thought pattern that you’re probably vulnerable to that can cause one little extra bite to lead to hours, days, or even weeks of overeating or emotional eating. The impact of that extra bite (or bites) was negligible, but the overeating that follows - this can really add up. 

Can you imagine what would change if you eliminated the pattern of “blowing it” and then throwing in the towel and overeating because “you’re already off track”? There’s a mindset adjustment that can help with this.

In this episode:

  • The simple thought pattern that can put you on an emotional eating hamster wheel (and keep you there)
  • How to keep “falling off track” from becoming a downward spiral
  • How to take your power back from thoughts that aren’t helping you succeed or change your eating habits in a lasting way

Resources mentioned in this episode:

  • Get on the waitlist or get registered for the next free Freedom from Overeating Workshop Series for Smart, Busy Women.  
  • Emotional Eating Quiz: Not sure why you’re overeating, or what your Hidden Hungers are? Take the free Hidden Hungers Quiz and get a free set of resources matched to your results.
  • Your Missing Peace  is the program for women ready to stop overeating and emotional eating for good. Enrollment is open and NOW is the perfect time to join us! Go here to learn more
  • Private Coaching. One-on-one coaching is for you if you’re looking for something completely individualized and specific to your situation. Openings are limited. Learn more here.

Episode Transcript

Hey everybody welcome back or welcome to the podcast. I am looking forward to what I am going to talk with you about today because in contrast to so much of what I share with you about change being a process. And change happening in layers. And change taking time and patience. 

Today, I get to share with you a pretty neat trick that can help you take control of a lot of overeating in a relatively easy, painless, and quick way. And who doesn't like that? Honestly? 

So let me be clear, if I haven't been clear in other episodes, I love food. I love food. I love eating. I enjoy eating, and sometimes I overeat. Is it a pattern? No, but every so often something is so delicious and I am enjoying the experience of eating it so much that I eat more than what makes me physically comfortable. I eat so that I am physically uncomfortable. It's not a problem. 

Overeating that is based on pleasure happens. And most of us would agree that if it isn't a pervasive pattern, it's probably not a problem. But if you are an overeater, somebody who habitually overeats, it is likely, and I think really unfortunate that many of the extra calories or carbs or much of the extra food, however you're measuring it. It is very likely that much of the extra eating that you do is eating where you are not really savoring. Or completely tasting or enjoying. Or even feeling good about what you're eating. And to me, this is such a waste. 

And there is one consistent pattern of unenjoyable eating that I personally believe accounts for a huge percentage of overeating. If not most overeating, especially for smart, busy women. In fact, I have had clients tell me that when they zero in on this specific eating, they're pretty sure it probably accounts for most of their excess eating or their excess weight or both.

And when we eliminate it, this is the fun part, because when we eliminate this kind of remember unenjoyable overeating, this is where the weight loss without dieting often shows up right away. And that feels fantastic. The thing that is so interesting about this particular overeating is that it is completely motivated by thoughts and by your mindset.

And in fact, this mindset that high achievers fall prey to can cause one extra bite, one little extra bite to lead to thousands of extra calories for some people. So we need to talk about this. Because what is even more interesting is that you can also use your thinking, just your thinking reduce or to even eliminate this overeating.

Okay, ready? Here it is. If you want to get off the overeating hamster wheel, you have got to learn how to ditch the all or nothing thinking. This is about all or nothing. Thinking this isn't the first time, and it will not be the last time that I call out all or nothing thinking. We have to talk about it a lot.

And by the way, all or nothing thinking is another label for... you got it, perfectionism. All nothing thinking is that mindset that set of your mind where you have decided or been told and come to believe that you have to get things perfect. You have to get things perfect in order to be successful. Which is kind of like, or exactly like a diet.

That's how a diet works. You have to eat exactly right. If you don't get things just right, then you've blown it. All or nothing. Right? And if you've blown it, you might as well just give up or admit to feet until you can get motivated to start over to do it all just right again. All or nothing thinking. I know you've been there. 

All or nothing thinking is responsible for, I've blown it eating. Right? It's ruined, I've blown it I might as well eat. Most women, that's a lot of extra calories, ingested a lot of leftovers that you didn't even want. Finished a lot of bags of junk food that got emptied all the rest of the way. And ultimately a lot of pants that don't fit. Scales that have moved in the wrong direction. And a lot of discouragement.

All because our thinking, your thinking, human thinking has fallen into a trap. That's all or nothing. And because you didn't eat perfectly, whatever that is, it's all ruined. Right? All or nothing. It's all ruined. It's all a wash. And you might as well just eat all the things because it's ruined.

And by the way, just about everybody I talk to who is in this in between, it's all ruined eating place, eating all the things. Isn't fully tasting and savoring and having a pleasurable experience. Usually you're either being numb or mad at yourself. 

All or nothing mentality is brutal. A good day of eating suddenly becomes a bad day. A blown day. You've gone from being on your plan to being off. And now it's ruined, and now you have to start over. All or nothing thinking is not just about what has already happened. All or nothing thinking almost always creates more overeating. Sometimes a lot more overeating. Because it's ruined anyway.

And if you fall prey to this type of thinking, you can probably identify examples easily in your own life. Examples of being in between that moment when you decide I've blown it. And whenever that fresh new day is when you decide to start over. When you get motivated to start over. When you have gotten your energy together to start over.

There is almost always a gap. That's, that gap can be hours, it can be days, it can be months. The gap between I've blown it and I'm ready to start over, gets filled with a lot of unhappy, unsavory, unenjoyable, overeating. 

All or nothing thinking tells you that you have blown things by not getting your eating perfect. And since it's already ruined, what does it matter? You're going to have to start over anyway. It might as well finish the whatever it is that you started. Right? Eating because it's going to be a whole new start over on Monday or the first of the month or after the holidays. 

On top of that, there's this layer of being mad at yourself for having blown it. All or nothing judgment. Right? You didn't get it perfect. So now there's stress eating or comfort eating or eating out of frustration or eating just to quiet or numb your mind.

All or nothing thinking, remember, these are just thoughts. This is a mindset. All or nothing thinking creates a perfect storm for overeating and for weight gain. And for weight regain. And for yo-yo weight loss and weight gain. 

Think about it for a minute. If you didn't fall into a downward spiral at that moment you went off track with your own eating, how many calories or how many pounds, or how many eating episodes might you have avoided in your lifetime? If there wasn't that gap that I've blown it, and then hours, days, weeks, months later, I need to start over. If there wasn't that gap filled with eating, what would be different? 

I am telling you for so many women, what happens in that gap is the bulk of the problem. It's the bulk of the overeating. It is the bulk of the excess weight. It is the bulk of the emotional heaviness that gets carried around. And the guilt and the self blame, and the feeling like it is hard. Which is again, fueled by perfectionism because in order to get it right, you have to hit all, all or nothing. Right? It has to be all right. 

Here's the thing, and this is so important. Once we can see that we are being ruled by thoughts or that thoughts are affecting our behavior in ways we don't want those thoughts to affect us, we can take control. We can take our power back. This is something we practice and that is just thread throughout the Missing Peace program. Learning how to identify this kind of self-sabotaging thinking. And taking our power back. Right? 

And just like you can recognize mindset, thought patterns that are not serving you, that are leading to overeating. You can use mindset, you can use the power of your thoughts to reduce or to eliminate that gap that overeating and possibly, I think quite possibly reduce your overeating by half or even more.

Here's how to stop letting perfectionism ruin your attempts to stop overeating and to even lose weight. Own the moment. Own the moment. The truth is, this moment right now, the present is the only moment that you have control over. You can't do anything about the past. Even the very recent past. You can't do anything about what you ate. Or how you ate, or when you ate, or what you didn't eat.

And you can plan for the future, but you can't be in the future right now. It isn't here yet. This moment. This moment is your life and it is the moment that you can control. So instead of getting into all of that, all or nothing thinking, I want you to step into a really powerful practice. 

Here's what you do. It is simple. So don't roll your eyes cuz it's very simple, but it's powerful. Just take a deep breath. And then look down at your feet. Look at your feet and decide which foot to pick up. And then decide where you're going to plant it. Now, don't laugh. I am being both literal and metaphorical here. But if you let it, it really can be as easy as what I have described. At least with a little bit of practice.

If you've had a really bad day or a bad evening or yesterday was horrible. Don't get lost in that. Don't get overly strict and crazy. Don't try to punish yourself. Don't try to change or perseverate on a past that you don't have any control over. Take a deep breath and own your present. Take a look at your feet and decide what your next step is going to be.

Come up with an actual step, something that you can do in the next 15 minutes. Or better yet, five minutes. Something that you can do to feel like you are moving in the right direction. One teeny, tiny thing that means you are on track. Whatever that means to you. It is probably going to be a very simple thing.

Next up is going to be something simple like filling up your water glass or packing your lunch for tomorrow. It could be forgiving yourself for what just happened. Or taking some time to journal and get some understanding about why things went off the rails the way they did. And what you can do differently moving forward.

You do not have to let the present become a downward spiral related to the past. This is a place you get to take your power back. This moment counts. This moment is where your strength is. This is the moment where you can make your day better. Where you can just take a positive step instead of getting into the all or nothing I blew it, and now I need to move into a start over cycle. 

So let it be simple. Just practice. Take a look at your feet. Decide which one you're going to pick up next. And then make a decision about where you're going to plant it. That's it. No drama. Try it out. See how you can shrink the gap and any overeating that happens in that gap between the step that felt like failing and the one that puts you back on track.

And then take a moment to notice. Notice how much overeating. How much drama. How much guilt, self-blame, and then even more overeating, maybe. How much of that you just eliminated. 

I'll talk to you soon.

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Your Missing Peace is the psychologist-designed program that provides the tools, the support, the coaching, and the confidence to create freedom from emotional eating and overeating. Finally - emotional eating help done right! Your Missing Peace is specifically designed for smart, high-achieving women who are DONE with diets, who want a lasting solution, and who are ready to take their power back from food, from overeating, and the scale. 

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