The approach I take to helping women end patterns of overeating and emotional eating is rooted in psychology and my experience as a psychologist helping clients create lasting change. We take our minds for granted, and other approaches to ending overeating rarely acknowledge the power of your mindset has to create success or to lead you into self-sabotage. The truth is your brain is a drama queen and if you aren’t aware of how human brains work and the way your mindset influences you, changing overeating and emotional eating habits can be an uphill battle.
Creating freedom from overeating doesn’t require a major life overhaul or a series of giant, hard-to-take steps, even if your brain has been telling you this is what’s necessary. Tune in to today’s episode to learn more.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
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Hey everybody, welcome to this episode of the Too Much on Her Plate podcast. I want to ask a favor, if you have not already done so and if you find this podcast to be helpful, please take a few seconds to follow the podcast and to leave a rating. And if the place where you listen to your podcasts allows you to do so it would be so helpful if you would take a few minutes and just leave a short review. This helps me continue the podcast. It helps me grow the podcast and reach more people. Thank you so much.
Today, I want to talk with you about your brain. And specifically, I want to talk with you about this tendency that our human brains have to be incredibly dramatic and to keep you going in circles instead of changing behaviors that you really want to change, like overeating. Couple of things we need to get clear on to get started.
Number one, you do not need to know all the steps. You do not need to see the whole path that you are going to take to start moving toward your destination. Also, you don't need to get everything perfect. You don't have to have everything lined up and all your T's crossed and your I's dotted in order to consider yourself on track, whatever that is, with your eating.
And, you don't need to throw in the towel because everything you planned to do today didn't happen, or everything you were not going to eat today ended up getting eaten, and maybe today was a hot mess. You don't have to quit. You don't have to start the cycle of starting over. Your brain, like everybody else's brain, tends to be a drama queen.
Your brain loves to believe things that are not helpful to you. Your brain loves to believe that eating well is all or nothing. It's perfect or it's ruined. And your brain is going to so easily declare to you that it is all blown. You blew it. It's ruined. And then encourage you to finish all the stuff you just started eating, or you just overate too much of. That's another judgment by your brain, right?
Because you're going to need to start over again anyway. So, your brain will decide, you blew it, oh, now it's ruined, now we have to start over, so we might as well just keep blowing it because none of this is going to make a difference. And then you get in that cycle, over and over and over again.
Your brain also loves to tell you that one small thing, that one small thing that you are thinking about doing, isn't going to make a difference. And that's true whether it's a positive thing, a step in a positive direction, or if it's something that you really don't want to do. Oh, it won't matter anyway.
Your brain, everybody's human brain, loves to talk trash to you, and to put you down, and to keep you feeling small. And your brain is probably the first to remind you of every mistake you've ever made on your journey to create freedom from overeating and to stop your emotional eating and overeating habits.
Your brain lies. Because it's a human brain and somewhere along the evolutionary path, we developed as human beings to believe that avoiding danger, avoiding failure and always being prepared for the worst keeps us safe. These are old beliefs that don't fit anymore. If you want freedom from overeating, if you want emotional eating binges to be a thing of the past, if you want a ride into the sunset with a relationship with food that you are so happy with, that you're never going to worry about how long can you keep it up because you love it, if you want to declare cheat days a thing of the past because you love how you approach eating and it works for you and there's nothing to cheat at?
If you want all of these things, then you need to learn to manage your mind. You need to know how to reset your mindset from the lying drama queen over the top perfectionist reaction mode to a way of thinking about and approaching change that works for you.
Because here's the truth and I'm telling you this as a psychologist who has spent the last 30 years now helping women make changes in a way that last. And helping them make changes by building those changes into a lifestyle that will fit them.
Change, lasting change does not require drama. You do not need a gigantic burst of energy or enthusiasm to make a change. A complete all at once life overhaul is almost always impossible and it is usually not necessary. Change can be quiet. Change can be easy.
You might not believe it, but change, real change, big change, lasting change often sneaks up on you while you're busy doing simple things that take you step by step in the right direction. A small step can be all it takes.
A small step really can be what it takes to begin to turn the tide. One small step. Your brain will tell you that's not true. Your brain will tell you it's impossible. Your brain will tell you, oh that is not enough to make a difference, I need to do more. Your brain will always tell you, you need to do more.
But the truth is, and I hear this from clients, I hear this from members of my coaching program all the time, it's the small things. It is the small, consistent things. It is, it is the things that we are able to continue doing because they are of a size that we can fit into our life and that we can fit next to our existing lifestyle and habits and routines and priorities.
It's the small steps. My clients, members of my program say this all the time. I cannot believe that this small thing made such a big difference.
What do I mean by small steps? I really mean small steps. Simple things. Like choosing to drink more water. Or choosing to drink a glass of water instead of a glass of soda. pausing, taking a deep breath, noticing that your stress is mounting. Just noticing, oh my gosh, I'm really stressed out. So that then you can choose what to do next instead of blindly reacting. That is a small step that will make a difference you cannot believe.
A small step might be putting on music when you get home from work and allowing your mood to shift or paying attention to what your mood is as you walk in the door. Instead of directly just heading for the refrigerator or the pantry on autopilot.
A small step might be acknowledging that you aren't enjoying something. That you don't want to do something. That you are scrolling on your phone because you are dreading the next task and just honoring that you feel that way. It might be tasting your food and taking the moment to realize that you are not really enjoying what you're eating and choosing not to finish it.
Or noticing that you're satisfied or that you've had enough. Or that you're just eating it because it's there.
A small step might be starting your day with just five minutes that are devoted to you. Five minutes of reading, five minutes of journaling, five minutes of staring at the ceiling and taking deep breaths.
A small step that can make an incredible difference in your life and yes with overeating and emotional eating might be saying no and letting it just be a no with no explanation necessary. I'm sorry I can't.
Your brain will always tell you you're not doing enough. You need to do more. And you know what? That leads to stress, that leads to overwhelm, that leads to a feeling that you're not getting anywhere. Which all creates a lack of motivation and a lack of momentum and exhaustion when you think of taking the next step.
Just today, a small step that you could take is acknowledging what you did well. Taking the time to come up with the things, small things, that you did well, instead of dwelling on what you are unhappy with, or what you didn't get to, or what didn't go well. Your brain is a drama queen, and it can keep you stuck in a cycle of overwhelm, overload, and overeating.
The truth is that small steps get you to your destination. Small steps are easier to take than big steps. Small steps are more likely to lead to consistency. One small step, one small choice is really all it takes to make a shift. And spoiler alert, a step, a single step is actually all you can do in the present moment. And the present moment is really all we have control of.
When you reset your mindset, when you take control of your mind, when you shift the direction of your thoughts and your actions, taking the next step and the next, it gets progressively easier. And, it gets easier and easier to see the effectiveness of the steps that you're taking. You don't need to see the whole path to start moving toward your destination.
You don't need to feel confident that you can follow the entire path to reach your destination. All you need to take charge of, and actually all you can take charge of, is the step you take right now.
Focus on your next step.
Keep it small. Keep it doable. And just take it.
I'll talk to you soon.
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